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The economy is in the tank. India and Pakistan have beef. Some “suspicious powders” are appearing in US Embassies – and neither Bobby Brown nor the 1986 Mets are involved. Let’s face it. 2008 kind of sucked.

But fear not. We can soon turn the calendar. And on the upside, terrible years beget great douches. Or is it the other way around?

Anyhow,  it’s the 2008 edition of The Douchies – where we pay tribute to all the douchebags in the world of baseball.

Here we have our list of nominees for these most prestigious awards in the field of douchebaggery. But we need you to tell us who is most deserving of these honors. So let the voting commence!

This year’s nominees are:

The Reggie Jackson Award for Best Display of Attention-Grabbing

[poll id="18"]

The Curt Schilling Award for Comment Most Likely to Alienate Everyone

[poll id="19"]

The Bette Midler “Did You Ever Know That You’re My Hero – But You Took a Cleveland Steamer on Me While I Slept” Award

[poll id="20"]

The “See This, NBA? We’re Crazy Too” Award

[poll id="21"]

The Kevin Federline “Why Must You Keep Reminding Us of Your Douchiness” Award

[poll id="22"]

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Your 2008 nominees. All of these fine individuals would like to thank god and their mothers.

14 Responses to “The 2nd Annual Douchie Awards – Now Even Fresher”

  1. That last one isn’t fair – Manny/A Rod and Canseco are all grade A jackwads.

    I went with Manny though, physical violence against someone much older than you is inexcusable. Plus – ARod is an albatross around the Yankees payroll, I like that.

  2. First time voter….

    that was awesome. I laughed so hard, which isn’t good because I’m supposed to be working right now.

  3. Yeah, A-Rod is a total albatross. The Yankees almost weren’t able to afford this offseason’s top three free agents.

  4. The Yanks have ARod signed for 10 years, 275 million. This is about 27 million/year. I know this is about 10% of their payroll, but he’s over 30, and will be over 40 when the deal is over.

    He also missed some playing time last year to injury.

    They Yankees have the 4 highest paid players in baseball, but oddly enough, they don’t have the 4 best players in baseball.

    They don’t even have the 4 best players at their respective positions:

    By Runs Created (courtesy of hardballtimes):

    ARod is the 5th best 3B in MLB
    Tex is around 5th best 1B (LAA ATL)
    Jeter is 5th as well

    CC – he’s fine, but the best pitcher in baseball? Not so much.

    I’ll stand by my albatross comment.

  5. Guys, I think we’re losing sight of the topic here. No matter how much the guys gets paid, he’s a douche.

  6. Yeah, he is. I apologize – I thought I was posting in the “salary cap” thread – my mistake.

    A Fraud, what a loser – he doesn’t even have his own Yankeeogrophy yet.

  7. Alejandro A. says:

    The Bette Midler vote was a hard one. And sure enough, it’s by far the closest contest…

  8. Sarah Green says:

    Bravo Paul, bravo. I had a really hard time picking between the “actual douchiest” douchebag and the douchebag that you had made sound especially amusing. In the end, I tried not to let your verbal gymnastics distract me and picked my douchebags according to the objective data at hand. But even so, with so much douchiness in the air this year, it was really, really hard to choose.

    Re: the salary tangent, I must point out that douchery usually correlates with salary. The higher the salary, the higher the level of douchitude. (Although poor guys can definitely be douchey too. It’s like that thing how a square is always a rectangle but a rectangle isn’t always a square….or something.)

  9. Sarah Green says:

    Oh, which is all by way of saying, YES A-ROD, YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG.

  10. what, no Johnny Gomes?

    thank you for the ability to vote Shelly Duncan. I was so glad that I didn’t have to see his doucheface again after that incident sent him down to the As. Matthew Lillard is extremely annoying and his name is “Shelly” and he wears pinstripes, nuff said.

    what about Giambi? that ‘stashe was just douchetastic!!!

  11. shouldn’t Clemens and Canseco basically get Douchebag Lifetime Achievement Awards or something? they are clearly in a class of their own. Although….I did feel a little bit sorry for Canseco after seeing his pathetic documentary on A&E. a little.

  12. I really wish Wallace Matthews would win this for basically condoning statutory rape and the exploitation of minors – or as we like to call it here in Mass, “coaching Walpole High football”.

  13. Are you guys dead? Also, you have a spammer. :o

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