I wasn’t sure whether Jacobs’ new growth qualified as “unfortunate facial hair” because, technically, it’s not growing out of his face. It seems to be coming from that nether area between the chin and the neck. What is that area called? The check? The nin? Regardless, the only excuse for a facial growth this hideous is to break a slump (see: Giambi, Jason or Byrnes, Eric) and it’s too early in the season to resort to such shenanigans.  Though, considering Jacobs’ .317 career OBP, I suppose one could argue that some slump buster UFH is far overdue.

6 Responses to “Unfortunate Facial Hair: Mike Jacobs”

  1. wesleywhatwhat says:

    he looked better when he was jay buhner…

  2. Nick Kapur says:

    it wouldn’t be nearly so bad if jacobs didn’t have such a knobby, bulbous chin. but he does so it looks like some weird ice cream cone where the ice cream is a ball of chin-flesh. eww.

  3. don’t you mean, “too early in the season to resort to such chin-anigans”

  4. She’ll be here all week.

  5. I’m more distracted by his apparent lazy eye. as with Eric Hinske, I always wonder… which eye sees the pitch???

  6. I totes agree with Nick. Looks like Jacobs has a bit of a butt chin. Thus, with the UFH covering the bottom half of the cleft, it’s like Plumber’s Ass on his face.

Leave a Reply

    Recent Comments

    • planet hobbywood: This is very interesting.
    • Bren: He is a awesome player and a good man.. sweet.. polite.. friendly.. down to earth.. he never acted as though he...
    • HADAJUN( Japanese): Okajima a Japanese hero?
    • Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor league baseball in the Orioles...
    • HADAJUN: I wish for play in Japan. The death is regrettable.


    Subscribe via email

    Enter your email address:


Featured posts

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]