I wasn’t sure whether Jacobs’ new growth qualified as “unfortunate facial hair” because, technically, it’s not growing out of his face. It seems to be coming from that nether area between the chin and the neck. What is that area called? The check? The nin? Regardless, the only excuse for a facial growth this hideous is to break a slump (see: Giambi, Jason or Byrnes, Eric) and it’s too early in the season to resort to such shenanigans. Though, considering Jacobs’ .317 career OBP, I suppose one could argue that some slump buster UFH is far overdue.