• Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor l...

I logged on to Slate last night to feed my Dear Prudence obsession, when I was distracted for a moment by a story in the lower-lede section of the homepage:

Thoughts of the girlfriend who won’t fix her bikini line and the boyfriend who wets the bed fled from my mind. I clicked on the link — how could I not? — and was taken to the following page:

Cheated! Duped! Defrauded! I’d been tricked — lured — entrapped into clicking on what I thought was a story about my beloved BoSox only to be taken to a story about the Yankees!

But as I skimmed down the page, I realized this wasn’t even a story about the Yankees. It wasn’t even a story about baseball at all, but about pro sports in only the most generalized and generic terms.  And it was from last year! It was like clicking on a link about Jennifer Aniston, being taken to a headline about Angelina Jolie, and then finding out that the story was actually about Hollywood’s classiest plastic surgeries…from last year. Sure, I might have been interested in reading that story — but not after feeling like I’d been tricked into boosting their pageviews by less-than-honorable means.

Even so, I ran my eye over the piece, and, sure enough, baseball is the dirtiest sport — because it schedules the most games, each of which entails tens of thousands of additional fans making the drive to the ballpark. But where was the discussion of the Bronx Bombers’ carbon footprint? In fact, outside of the headline, the Yanks didn’t appear once. But — in a mind-bending twist — Fenway Park did:

Antiquated Fenway Park in Boston is arguably one of the most eco-friendly stadiums in the nation, because of the fact that parking is so scarce and most fans must take public transportation. That gives it a big leg-up on modern counterparts that claim to be green, whether by virtue of their solar-powered LED  boards or their cup-and-bottle recycling programs.

Suddenly, it was Casino Royale all over again: wait, Vesper betrayed Bond?! But did she really betray him, or was she actually trying to save him? And is that French guy really a double-agent, or only a spy pretending to be a bad spy who’s really a good spy? And what the heck happened to the money???

One Response to “Slate Pulls a Sox-Yanks Switcherchoo!”

  1. the credibility of this story is completely intact when buttressed by a picture of Obama at a picnic table, and Seth Rogen.

    also – I don’t know why no one has looked into converting Youkilis’ head sweat into some form of renewable energy. DISCUSS.

Leave a Reply

    Recent Comments

    • Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor league baseball in the Orioles...
    • HADAJUN: I wish for play in Japan. The death is regrettable.
    • David the okajima: was wondering if I related too this guy?
    • HaroldHecuba: Mike Mussina is EASTERN EUROPEAN, not Italian.
    • handsomerandyblackladdiebrad1953: Plus,Jackson’s Polo Grounds-heightened batting stats,when park-adjusted,make...

Marketplace

    Subscribe via email

    Enter your email address:

    Archives

What's Popular

Featured posts

220px-Bbwaa_logo_web

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

According to the internet, "The Little Napoleon" John McGraw was the greatest manager of all time.

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]