Manny Ramirez
Suspended fifty games – wow.
Better start tweeting.

Agent’s Two-Step
“Blame it on the meds
From that doctor,” says Boras.
“That always fools ’em.”

Torre’s Lament
Hitting three-fifty
OBP-ing five hundred.
Get me Juan Pierre.

19 Responses to “Manny Ramirez Suspension – Open Haiku Thread”

  1. I want to know what that knuklehead, Nick Kapur, thinks about Jim Rices’ take on Manny Now! Turns out he’s not bitter at all, just a good judge of character. What’s wrong with calling a spade a spade? I wouldn’t want my son to see the way that dirtbag Manny plays the game either. Get your head out of the sand Nick.

  2. Sarah Green says:

    Hey Sam, this isn’t the “slam on Nick Kapur” thread. This is the “Manny Haiku” thread. At least make your ad hominem attack into haiku form.

  3. For nearly two months
    Mannywood is in stasis
    Does he still get comps?

  4. The crack of the bat;
    a vernal slugger becomes
    the summer slug.

  5. One of the most widely misused terms on the Net is “ad hominem”. It is most often introduced into a discussion by certain delicate types, delicate of personality and mind, whenever their opponents resort to a bit of sarcasm. As soon as the suspicion of an insult appears, they summon the angels of ad hominem to smite down their foes, before ascending to argument heaven in a blaze of sanctimonious glory. They may not have much up top, but by God, they don’t need it when they’ve got ad hominem on their side. It’s the secret weapon that delivers them from any argument unscathed.

  6. Paul Moro says:

    You’re… Kind of a jerk, aren’t you, Sam?

  7. He leaves mean comments
    Maybe Sam is angry ’cause
    he can’t do haiku

  8. What is wrong with my haiku format?

  9. Sarah Green says:

    The last line has four
    Syllables. I believe that
    Five are required.

  10. Touché Sarah

    Don’t need a doctor,
    apologists aplenty;
    Manny history

  11. As far as being a jerk. Thick skin is my favorite personality trait.

  12. Kirk Miller says:

    A little blue pill
    Is that what he was taking?
    Giants fans are happy

  13. tom hoffman says:

    I would like to offer a slightly modified version of my last year’s “Manny haiku” submission, which was composed just after watching one of Manny’s awful final appearances as a member of the Red Sox, when he struck out looking on three pitches.

    We watched him look
    and look and look
    Oh Manny!
    Next year in LA?

  14. Sarah Green says:

    Is for infertile ladies
    Not baseball players.

  15. Lyndsay says:

    Manny has bitch tits
    His name was Robert Paulson
    shoulda bought fake pee.

  16. Lyndsay says:

    Maybe Manny was
    trying to have a baby
    with Xavier Paul?

  17. Meanwhile, Sox fans fret
    Their World Series MVP
    Is discredited

  18. Lyndsay says:

    um not really Paul
    world series are team efforts
    not just one guy on ‘roids

  19. Lyndsay says:

    whoops! last line should have been

    “not one guy on roids”

    I miscounted the syllables.

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