• Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor l...

The above is from the player page in my Yahoo fantasy baseball league. As you may know, the Astros’ Lance Berkman began the season on the DL and is getting himself ready physically to play some ball.

But here’s what I want to know – how in the hell do you know if you’re working out at 75% or 80%? Who makes up these numbers and how is this verifiable?

BERKMAN (to trainer): Jimmy, I feel good today. I think I can get it up to 85%.

FICTIONAL TRAINER JIMMY: Whoa, Lance. Take it easy. How about 83%?

BERKMAN: DAMN IT, JIMMY! I CAN DO 85!!! STOP HOLDING ME BACK!

FICTIONAL TRAINER JIMMY: YOU CAN’T WIN!

The role of “Jimmy the Fictional Trainer” is played in my head by Ms. Talia Shire.

One Response to “The Post In Which I Use 42% Of My Comedic Abilities”

  1. Good post.

    It’s nice to see Talia Shire getting some work.

    These Yahoo player notes are a frequent source of comedy in my fantasy league. I like to think the writers put silly stuff like that in there to make sure we are paying attention.

    Then again – this is yahoo – they still haven’t figured out how to let you properly resize their stattracker windows for about 5 years now.

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