According to the title of an article in today’s edition of the New York Daily News, Mets’ CFer Carlos Beltran “vows to boycott Arizona All-Star game, if selected, over law.”

You got that, Arizona? Carlos Beltran would rather change his grandmother’s diapers before playing at an All-Star game in your stinking state and spits in the face of your immigration reform.

Even though he just played a game in Arizona against the Diamondbacks last night (and will again tonight), he will never, ever participate in an All-Star game in Phoenix until Mexican laborers can live and work there in peace.

He would rather be the lowest rung of Spencer Pratt’s entourage ladder.

He would rather be the musical guest on “The Tonight Show”, sing Bob Marley’s “War”, and burn a photo of Conan O’Brien following the performance.

If given a choice between playing in a game in which he is not being paid, and being Bronson Arroyo’s groupie, he would think really, really hard, and then put a wig on and follow Arroyo and his musical genius around across the country (but not in Arizona).

So tell them, Carlos. Scream it from the mountaintops.

“Would I come? I don’t know,” Beltran said

Wait, what?

“Would I come? I don’t know,” Beltran said

But… But… The article… Title… “Vows”… “Boycott”…

“Would I come? I don’t know,” Beltran said

What the hell, Daily News? And here I thought that you guys were honest, straight-shooters. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Now if you’ll excuse me, Mr. Pratt needs to get his shoes shined so I’ve got to be his shoe-shine guy’s stool.

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