According to the title of an article in today’s edition of the New York Daily News, Mets’ CFer Carlos Beltran “vows to boycott Arizona All-Star game, if selected, over law.”

You got that, Arizona? Carlos Beltran would rather change his grandmother’s diapers before playing at an All-Star game in your stinking state and spits in the face of your immigration reform.

Even though he just played a game in Arizona against the Diamondbacks last night (and will again tonight), he will never, ever participate in an All-Star game in Phoenix until Mexican laborers can live and work there in peace.

He would rather be the lowest rung of Spencer Pratt’s entourage ladder.

He would rather be the musical guest on “The Tonight Show”, sing Bob Marley’s “War”, and burn a photo of Conan O’Brien following the performance.

If given a choice between playing in a game in which he is not being paid, and being Bronson Arroyo’s groupie, he would think really, really hard, and then put a wig on and follow Arroyo and his musical genius around across the country (but not in Arizona).

So tell them, Carlos. Scream it from the mountaintops.

“Would I come? I don’t know,” Beltran said

Wait, what?

“Would I come? I don’t know,” Beltran said

But… But… The article… Title… “Vows”… “Boycott”…

“Would I come? I don’t know,” Beltran said

What the hell, Daily News? And here I thought that you guys were honest, straight-shooters. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Now if you’ll excuse me, Mr. Pratt needs to get his shoes shined so I’ve got to be his shoe-shine guy’s stool.

Leave a Reply

    Recent Comments

    • planet hobbywood: This is very interesting.
    • Bren: He is a awesome player and a good man.. sweet.. polite.. friendly.. down to earth.. he never acted as though he...
    • HADAJUN( Japanese): Okajima a Japanese hero?
    • Rickt: I am the biggest Cal Jr fan around but one of my good friends played minor league baseball in the Orioles...
    • HADAJUN: I wish for play in Japan. The death is regrettable.


    Subscribe via email

    Enter your email address:


Featured posts

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]