A few questions about Schilling’s fat contract

1. How many innings does Schilling have to pitch to qualify for his $3 million?

2. We’ve already written about the “weight clause” in Schilling’s new deal. But nowhere has it been stated that Schilling must lose weight, simply that he will be weighed six times throughout the season.

For all we know, the clause could basically say that he needs to stay under 350lbs or something. This way, Boston looks good by not guaranteeing him more than $8 million and Schilling can look good by not demanding more guaranteed money AND making it seem like he gives a rat’s ass about conditioning.

So what’s the deal, Curt? Are you really gonna slim down? Or is this all just a clever ploy?

3. If Schilling is going to lose weight, how is he going to do it? Slim Fast? The South Beach Diet? Or just good old fashioned exercise?

Will his weight loss adventure be the subject of a future reality show, to be broadcast on MLB.TV? Will we be treated to blog post after blog post about how Mr. Bloody Sock is sooooo craving chocolate right now?

My guess is Schilling hires a personal trainer, which I would totally do if I had millions of dollars. I guess it’s a little lame to pay a guy to yell at you while you strain to touch your toes, but whatever it takes, right?

Just as long as Schilling doesn’t get the same guy Tony Gwynn hired.

NOTE: ESPN.COM says “Schilling would get a $375,000 bonus for pitching 130 innings, and an additional $375,000 for every 10-inning increment up to 200. He also will have the random weigh-ins, one per month, and get $333,333 each time he maintains his weight.”

Of course, that still doesn’t tell us what weight Schilling is expected to maintain. The problem wasn’t that Schilling got fatter as the 2007 season went on. It was that he showed up fat and stayed fat.

UPDATE: As a few commenters pointed out, Tom Verducci reports, “Schilling will get bonus money based on periodic weigh-ins. To collect he must be no heavier than 230 pounds, a weight he’s had trouble staying under in recent years.”