It probably comes as a surprise to no one that the Washington Nationals have a pretty abominable team once again this season, and that they are tied with the Texas Rangers for the worst record in baseball at 8-17. That is exactly the sort of performance we have come to expect from the Expos/Nats after so many years of futility.

But need this have been the case? Today I got to thinking about some of the really great talent which has come into the hands of the franchise over the years, only to later slip through its fingers, and I got to wondering, what if the Expos/Nationals had had a real owner instead of being owned by the other 29 teams from 2002-2006? Or what if MLB had hired a competent general manager rather than Omar Minaya, who seemed more intent on padding his own resume for his next job with splashy deals rather than building for the future? What if the team had been able or willing to resign even just its most obvious stars? What kind of team could the Nationals have had today, and how much would it have costed?

Thus I set about on the following thought experiment to come up with the best possible Washington Nationals 25-man roster, out of all the players that have been firmly in the team’s control since 2002. This is what I came up with:

Starting Lineup

CF Grady Sizemore
SS Orlando Cabrera
RF Vladimir Guerrero
LF Jason Bay
2B Brandon Phillips
3B Ryan Zimmerman
1B Brad Wilkerson
C Greg Zaun

Starting Rotation

SP Javier Vazquez
SP Chris Young
SP Jake Westbrook
SP Cliff Lee
SP Ted Lilly

Bench

OF Lastings Milledge
IF Maicer Izturiz
OF/IF Marlon Anderson
C Jesus Flores
OF Endy Chavez

Bullpen

CL John Rauch
RP Chad Cordero
RP Luis Ayala
RP Jesus Colome
RP Saul Rivera
RP Ray King
RP Chris Schroeder

As you can see, this team would easily be the best team in the National League. The lineup is loaded with stars and superstars (the only real hole being at first base, where Javier Vazquez would not have been traded for Nick Johnson), the bench is full of extremely useful parts, and the rotation, while perhaps lacking a true ace, is filled with no. 2s and would easily be the best in baseball (especially the way Cliff Lee is pitching this year). In the lineup, rotation, and bench only third-basemen Ryan Zimmerman and backup catcher Jesus Flores survive from the current team.

As for the bullpen, I decided to keep the entire current Nationals bullpen, which is actually one of the best bullpens the franchise has had in years. The fact is, the Expos/Nats really haven’t let any great relievers slip through their hands, the way they have with the lineup and the rotation, so this pretty much is the best possible bullpen for them.

So looking at this team, it would have to cost a fortune right? Well actually, it’s not too bad. If you add up the current salaries of all of these players, you get a total payroll of only $93.8 million. While that is certainly more than the $55 million the Nationals are paying now, it would actually only be the 14th highest payroll in baseball today, for a team that would easily be one of baseball’s very best.

In my view it would be a team that could easily reach and win the World Series. Paying $94 million for that is a bargain, and sure beats paying $55 million to have the worst record in the game.

Bill Buckner was the surprise mystery guest who threw out the first pitch yesterday at Fenway’s Home Opener. As I’ve previously admitted, I greeted the late-breaking announcement with cynicism. Can’t we just get on with the pennants and the rings and the parades and leave all that crap behind us?

But then, noshing on my reuben at the diner around the corner from my office, I watched on television as Buckner took the field. His knees, as you may remember, are bad, and it took him a while to get from left field to the pitcher’s mound. He reached up and casually brushed something from his eye—was it a tear?—as he slowly crossed that heartbreakingly green grass. The sun was bright, the sky was blue, there wasn’t a cloud to be seen. With the Fenway Faithful on their feet and going wild, Buckner again brushed a tear from his eye. He looked towards home plate, where his old teammate Dwight Evans waited for the pitch. He leaned in, shook off Dewey’s signal, laughed, and threw a strike. Fenway Park was still erupting—the fans couldn’t get enough. In fact, I got a little damp-eyed myself. Who wouldn’t? Baseball! In Fenway! Bill Buckner! World Series rings! A big, effing banner! Johnny Pesky! David Ortiz! The Boston Pops! Any Red Sox fan would have to be made of iron not to feel the swell of emotion at such a moment.

But today, we’re treated to a bunch of articles on what this Buckner ovation really means. Buckner is Absolved! All is Forgiven! The Joy of Sox has a great rundown of several such snippets, to which I would add this lazy AP article.

Everyone, especially this guy, seems to have forgotten that Buckner:

• Returned to Fenway in 1987 as a member of the Red Sox and got a standing O then, too;
• Returned to Fenway in 1990 when he was reacquired by the Sox, also to a rousing cheer;
• Has, with Mookie Wilson, signed and sold autographed posters of his famous miscue in the intervening years;
• Has appeared at Fenway as recently as 1997, 11 years after the error;
• And moved to Idaho not because he was chased out of Boston by an angry mob but in order to pursue a business opportunity there.

This is not to say that Bill Buckner and his family haven’t been harassed or heckled by douchebags. Unfortunately, there are too many douchebags in this world. And Buckner has not been treated fairly by the national media, whether you’re talking about AP reporters who write the easy feel-good story instead of reporting all the facts or late-night comics going for a cheap punchline. Certainly, as the years went by, Buckner became a convenient “face of the Curse,” along with Johnny Pesky (he held the ball!), Grady Little (he left Pedro in too long!), and Bucky Dent (@#$%!!). In fact, maybe that’s the real Curse of the Bambino: eighty-six years of hype.

That said, it’s really a dumb-looking error. My dad went to Japan on business that fall, and Japanese people on the street would see his Red Sox cap, point excitedly, and then imitate Buckner letting the ball through his legs. I mean, that’s not the media ginning something up. That’s just a really embarassing play on an international stage.

It was such a memorable play, that years after the Series ended, the national guys felt no need to repeat the famous game’s other coulda-woulda-shouldas: That there probably should have been a defensive replacement for Buckner; that Roger Clemens asked to be taken out, and later changed his story; that losing Game 6 didn’t cost the Sox the Series, but only forced a Game 7. In Boston, way more people have had barstool arguments over these details than have irrationally blamed Bill Buckner for years 68 through 86 of our championship drought.

But ten years after the ‘86 World Series, Buckner became the media’s official goat. The peak Anti-Buckner era lasted from the the late 90s, when Boston started contending again, to 2004, when Boston’s World Series drought ended. Even so, real Red Sox fans knew that the BoSox wouldn’t have even made it to the ‘86 World Series without Billy Buck. Real Red Sox fans remember how Buckner carried that team on his back in September of that year. So the Herald may have some big stupid headline about “forgiveness” in the paper today, and Dan Shaughnessy, who turned the Curse into a career, may speak of him being “absolved,” but I say there was no “forgiveness” going on at the Fens yesterday. If anything, the fans were apologizing. Apologizing on behalf of the media, who all too often would rather be glib than right.

By so frequently describing Buckner as a pariah, the media seems to actually have made it true through repetition. In a way, inviting Buckner to Fenway to throw out yesterday’s first pitch was only necessary because of the media’s successful mythmaking and, at the same time, the ultimate ratification of that same Boston-blames-Buckner myth. Yes, I was moved. Buckner was moved. Forty thousand cheering Red Sox fans were moved. But what moved us? Our own false cultural memory, a fable that had been retold so many times that it eventually supplanted the true story—and, in the process, gained a sort of creepy reality all its own.

The baseball uniform is something of a curiosity. I think we can all agree that baseball did the world a favor by bringing us the baseball cap. But in what other sport are players required to wear a thick belt, tapered white stretch pants, a glorified pajama top, and stirrups?!

Nonetheless, some baseball uniforms are funnier-looking than others. For years, this has been especially true of expansion teams. However, with Tampa Bay’s announcement that they will be changing their uniforms, colors, and logo as well as their name (are they even still a baseball team?), they join the Diamondbacks as reformed expansion teams that have at last forgone the teal-and-purple days of yore. While Arizona returned to the playoffs this year in their new unis, which sported Sedona Red and Sonora Sand colorations, the Rays hope for similar magic with their new, water-and-sunshine themed garments:

According to the press release, “The two hues of blue suggest the deep blue waters and bright blue sky for which Florida is known. The elongated tail of the “R” further reinforces the water imagery.” A bright yellow sunburst emanating from the “R” will “invoke the magnificence of life in the Sunshine State.”

“Our new team name and new look express the vibrancy of our organization,” said Rays President Matt Silverman. “The Tampa Bay Rays will shine, on the field and in our community. We will be a great source of pride for our region.”

One ugly uni down, so many more to go. Which teams do not shine? Which uniforms do not express vibrancy? Which are not dressed in a manner that invokes the magnificence of life?

That, UmpBump readers, is for you to decide. The contendahs:

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Less than one year ago, Mark Kotsay’s wife Jamie was still a mystery, a legendarily hot baseball wife whose pictures were so rare that her hotness remained largely unknown and unworshipped. But UmpBump.com changed all that last spring when we used our insane ninja skills to bring you the largest collection of Jamie Kotsay pictures ever assembled in one place.

But now we are upping the ante.

That’s right, thanks to a source who wishes to remain anonymous, we now present to you a collection of scans from Jamie Kotsay’s modeling days which have never before been seen anywhere on the internets. Ever. Until now!

Is Jamie Kotsay really the hottest baseball wife of them all? Decide for yourself:

(Pictures continue after the jump)

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We’ve done the All-Smith team. We’ve done the All-Canadian team versus the All-Jewish team. And now UmpBump brings you: the All-Mormon team.

There have been nearly enough Mormons in the majors to support a 40-man roster. One thing the All-Mormon team won’t be short on is starting pitching. They’ve got right-handed All-Star Roy Halladay as the ace of the staff (lifetime ERA of 3.63 and Cy Young winner), followed by another All-Star righthander in Vernon Law (1950-1967, ERA of 3.77). After that, they’ve got lefty All-Star Bruce Hurst (1980-1994, ERA of 3.92), righty Kelly Downs (1986-1993, ERA of 3.86) and still-promising righty Jeremy Guthrie (4.11 ERA)

For a closer, it’s hard to do much better than Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley, a six-time All Star, an MVP, and a Cy Young Award winner. They’ve even got a decent set-up man in the form of All-Star reliever Rick Aguilera (1985-2000, 3.57 ERA). Unfortunately, the middle relief is much less inspiring–Kyle Farnsworth (4.47 ERA), Mike Fetters (3.86 ERA), Jim Gott (3.87 ERA), Ryan Jensen (5.06 ERA), and Jason Johnson (4.99 ERA).

Onto the offense! What kind of lineup could the Church of Latter Day Saints run out there?

Leading off and playing centerfield, you’d have speedy rookie Jacoby Ellsbury—and while I do doubt very much he’ll be hitting .353 for the rest of his career, it’s not a bad start.

Batting second and playing first base, I’ll go with career .289 hitter Wally Joyner, an All-Star and a lefty, who also has some pop.

Third, who but Hall of Famer Harmon Killebrew (1954-1975)? Don’t be fooled by his career .256 batting average. The man compiled a nice .376 OBP by walking his way to victory. Oh, and the 573 homers weren’t bad either. Killebrew played 3B, OF, and 1B in his career, but for the purposes of this exercise, I’m DH-ing him.

In the cleanup spot, it’s got to be MVP second baseman Jeff Kent. A career .290 hitter, Kent has 365 home runs and is a six-time All Star. And, he always bats fourth. Always.

In the five-hole, it’s All-Star Dale “The Murph” Murphy (1976-1993). A .265 right-handed hitter, he also hit for power (racking up 398 career homers). The two-time MVP also played Gold Glove-worthy right field.

Sixth, the left fielder, Dane Iorg (1977-1986). He bats left, to the tune of .276.

Batting seventh, the third baseman, All-Star Vance Law (1980-1991). The son of Vern, above, Vance hit just .256 but managed some power.

Batting eighth and playing short? None other than Bobby Crosby. The 2004 Rookie of the Year may bat just .240, sure, but the only other option was Luis Gomez (1974-1981), who had a career average of .210 and never hit a single home run.

Ninth, the catcher, Alan Ashby (1973-1989). He hits an uninspiring .245, but at least he’s a switch-hitter.

Who do we have on the bench? Ken Hubbs (1961-1963) is a defensive replacement/injury fill-in for Jeff Kent. Hubbs was the first player to win a Gold Glove the same year he collected the Rookie of the Year trophy. Despite hitting only .247, he was considered among the premiere second basemen in the game during his brief time in the majors. (Tragically, he died in a plane crash at the age of 22.)

No team is complete without a fourth outfielder. I suggest righty Barry Bonnell (1977-1986) for this purpose, as he hits a respectable .272. And as an overall utilityman, I’ll go with Brian Banks (1996-2003), who hit only .246 but played most of the positions on the field at some point during his career and was a switch hitter. The backup catcher is John Buck, who hits a paltry .237 but at least has occasional pop.

The result? Not a bad team. Solid starting pitching and a great closer, not to mention one of the best 3-4-5 combos you could hope for. Two Hall of Famers, and two other guys who could feasibly be elected someday. Some Cy Young winners, some Rookies of the Year, some Gold Glovers, MVPs and All-Stars. They’re just a couple of converts away from fixing their middle relief problem.

The All-Mormon Team is definitely a playoff contender. And they’d definitely beat the Canadians.

A few weeks back, I made the bold claim that I could easily think of at least 20 Hall of Famers who should not be in the Hall, upon which Coley promptly challenged me to write a post naming names.

At first I was a bit worried as to whether I would be able to deliver the goods, but as I went down the list I was amazed at how many unworthy players had somehow snuck their way into the Hall over the years. I tried to give the benefit of the doubt as often as possible, and with many players there was at least an argument that could be made, but in the end, I was still left with 34 people who simply have no place in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

It’s not that some of these guys weren’t good players, or nice people, but awarding them baseball’s highest honor and putting their names and plaques along side the true immortals of the game makes a mockery of everything that the Hall stands for.

If I were commissioner of baseball, I would immediately call a one-time election to de-elect unworthy Hall of Famers, and these 34 names would top the ballot (in alphabetical order, not order of worstness) . .

1. Dave Bancroft, SS - Nobody can think of a good reason why the Veteran’s Committee elected Bancroft to the Hall in 1971, other than the fact that Bancroft had been a good friend and teammate of then-presiding Committee poobah Frankie Frisch. Although it is important to recognize that Bancroft was a shortstop, his numbers compare very poorly to almost all other middle-infielders in the Hall, with the exceptions of Phil Rizzuto, an equally questionable selection who also appears on this list, and Bill Mazeroski, who was perhaps the greatest fielding second baseman of all time, and thus gets more of a pass on his offense.
2. Jake Beckley, 1B - Anyone ever heard of Jake Beckley? Anyone at all? There is a reason why you haven’t, which is that he really wasn’t all that great, especially for a first baseman. But he was elected by the Veterans Committee nearly a century after he played because the Veterans like people who hit over .300, and Beckley sometimes hit over .300.
3. Jim Bunning, P - His big accomplishment was that he won 100 games and had 1000 strikeouts in each of the two leagues. But overall he was just 224-184. He was, however, a powerful and influential US Congressman when the Veterans Committee elected him in 1996.
4. Morgan Bulkeley, Executive - Served as president of the National League for one (1) year. Yep, that is what he did.
5. Orlando Cepeda, 1B - Nobody would deny that Cepeda was a pretty good hitter, but for a first baseman his numbers are poor compared with the rest of the guys in the Hall. His career stats have become a popular low-end benchmark for people to compare with when trying to make the case for putting other marginal players in to the Hall.
6. Red Faber, P - Had a few decent seasons along with numerous mediocre to terrible seasons. He did win over 20 games four different times, but that was only because he was pitching 40-50 games those years. In his four 20-win seasons he also lost 14, 13, 15, and 17 games. That is not quality, just quantity. And it is certainly not Hall of Fame level dominance.
7. Rick Farrell, C - A very popular pick for the worst Hall of Famer of them all, Farrell’s top comps according to Baseball Reference are some dudes named Deacon McGuire, Jim Gantner, Claude Ritchey, Tony Cuccinello, and Billy Jurges. Um. Yeah. Top catcher comp is Tony Pena. Anyone for putting Tony Pena in the Hall?
8. Chick Hafey, OF - A kind of okay player when he was actually on the field, Hafey only played one or two complete seasons, and only had three seasons of hitting even 20 home runs. But damn! This man has a career batting average of .317!! Clearly, that means he must have been awesome!!!
9. Jesse Haines, P - Unbelievably mediocre pitcher who is one of the most baffling Hall selections of all time.
10. Harry Hooper - I defy you to give me any justification at all for why Harry Hooper is in the Hall of Fame. Playing in the Dead Ball Era, he posted a career batting average of only .281 as an outfielder. He doesn’t seem to have been particularly good at anything.
11. Waite Hoyt, P - 237-182, 3.59 ERA, only won 20 games twice. Only in the Hall of Fame because he was a New York Yankee.
12. Travis Jackson, SS - With a career OPS+ of 102, I guess he must be in for his defense or something, but then again, we are talking about the same Travis Jackson who once made 58 errors in a season. A most befuddling selection.
13. George Kell, 3B - Kell’s Hall of Fame plaque calls him “solid” hitter and a “sure-handed” fielder. Huh. Well, that sounds good and all, but it doesn’t exactly bespeak Hall of Fame awesomeness. He did lead the AL in batting average one season. I guess that’s kind of cool.
14. George Kelly, 1B - A 109 career OPS+ is simply terrible for a first baseman. Terrible!
15. Bowie Kuhn, Commissioner - Fought the advent of free agency tooth and nail, but failed anyway. Proposed putting black players in a separate and unequal wing of the Hall of Fame. Tried to ban Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle from baseball forever in 1983. Only known achievement in 15 years as commish: introducing nighttime World Series games, which everyone hates now anyway. Perhaps worst of all, his induction makes Bud Selig a lock for the Hall by comparison.
16. Tony Lazzeri, 2B - Elected in 1991 at a time when the Veterans Committee was going through a phase where it thought it had better elect any player who was ever associated with the 1927 Yankees.
17. Ted Lyons, P - Had a few good seasons, and many, many mediocre ones. His ERA was as often above 4.00 as not. Compiled a very uninspiring record of 260-230, despite pitching for 21 seasons.
18. Freddie Lindstrom, 3B/OF - Only played until age 30. Only collected 1747 hits. Seems to have been elected by the Veterans Committee solely because he once hit .379 in a season, in 1930.
19. Effa Manley, Executive - Apparently picked entirely for PC reasons, she was the wife of the owner of a Negro League team, and is currently the only woman in the Hall of Fame. She was a civil rights activist, which is honorable, but her primary baseball-related activity was her well-documented hobby of sleeping with many of the players on the team.
20. Tommy McCarthy, OF - His statistics were pretty poor by the standards of his day. He really only had three good seasons, and nobody with a 102 OPS+ should be allowed anywhere near the Hall of Fame, at least not without paying admission like everyone else.
21. Rube Marquard, P - Had three great seasons in a row from ages 24-26. Problem was, he kept pitching until he was 38, while struggling to be even league average, compiling a career ERA+ of only 103.
22. Hal Newhouser, P - Newhouser was a mediocre pitcher who suddenly had three seasons for the ages from 1944-1946, while all the good hitters were away fighting in World War II. Once they they returned, and Newhouser was no longer pitching against minor leaguers, he went back to being mediocre. A classic example of the Veteran’s committee paying no attention whatsoever to context.
23. Tony Perez, 1B - First basemen are vastly over-represented in the Hall of Fame, and Tony Perez is arguably the worst first baseman in the Hall. But Joe Morgan will not rest until the entire Big Red Machine is in the Hall, and Joe Morgan has a lot of friends.
24. Herb Pennock, P - 240 wins, 3.60 ERA, 106 career ERA+
25. Eppa Rixey, P - Career record of 266-251. Ouch.
26. Phil Rizzuto, SS - His top comp is Jose Offerman. The only other Hall of Famer in his top ten comps is the even more undeserving Johnny Evers. Even Phil Rizzuto didn’t think he should have been in the Hall of Fame. But he had the unbeatable combo of being a Yankee and also being a lovable Yankee. Eventually, the Veteran’s Committee just couldn’t resist.
27. Red Ruffing, P - His 3.80 career ERA is one of the worst in the Hall. Only in because he was a New York Yankee.
28. Red Schoendienst, 2B - It’s really, really hard to think of any career accomplishments for Red Schoendienst. Um, I guess he once had a season of 200 hits. Oh, and he led the national league twice in at-bats. And he does hold the record for most doubles in a three-game span! But he also had a career OBP of .337 and a terrible career OPS+ of only 93. His selection is another oozing black sore on the sorry history of the Veteran’s Committee.
29-31. Joe Tinker, Johnny Evers, Frank Chance, SS-2B-1B - These guys are ONLY in the Hall because somebody happened to write a catchy poem about them. Tinker’s top 20th century comp is Ozzie Guillen; Evers has Mark McLemore on his list; and Chance (a first baseman) has Darryl Hamilton among his top comps. And statistically, they weren’t even good at turning double plays!
32. Lloyd Waner, OF - Let’s face it: Lloyd Waner is only in the Hall of Fame because he played alongside his much more talented brother, and once they put Paul in the Hall, it seemed only fair to put Lloyd in too. Lloyd did manage to finish with a career average over .300, but he only played 5 full seasons without significant injury or benching, and had a career OPS+ of 99, meaning he was actually a below average hitter for his era
33. Vic Willis, P - Sure he won over 20 games 8 different times. But this was from 1898 to 1910, and he was routinely starting 40 games and tossing over 350 innings a season. Compared to his peers of the day, he was thoroughly mediocre. This was long understood, and he was not tapped for the Hall until 1995, when a cock-eyed Veterans Committee looked back and saw only those 20-win seasons without any consideration of context or era.
34. Tom Yawkey, Owner - Last owner to sign a black player. Passed on chances to sign Jackie Robinson and Willie Mays. His team never won a World Series. Seriously, it’s time to rename that street already.

The Mitchell Report on steroid use in baseball will be released tomorrow and is expected to name at least 50 major league players, and perhaps as many as 80. But this morning, I’ve been thinking about a different scandal.

As part of Hall of Fame week on UmpBump, we posted a poll asking you to vote for players who ought to be in the Hall, but aren’t. The results surprised me. As of this writing, Shoeless Joe Jackson in the lead with 57% of the vote. I, like most baseball fans, know the outline of the story of the Chicago Black Sox and the 1919 World Series, but not the details. The one bit I remember most clearly is the story of the little boy who looked up at Shoeless Joe and pleaded, “Say it ain’t so.” Joe, as you might remember, is supposed to have replied, “It’s so, kid.”

So I started reading up on the scandal this morning, trying to string together half-remembered scraps of gossip from nearly 100 years ago. I came across an excellent repository at the the website of the Chicago Historical Society. The following paragraph especially caught my eye:

Throughout the Series, Hugh Fullerton, a sports writer for the Chicago Herald and Examiner, had been paying close attention to the rumors of a fix. He hinted about the selling of the Series in his newspaper columns and urged club owners to do something about gamblers’ involvement in baseball. Most people didn’t believe fixing the World Series was possible. Club owners, who knew better, were afraid the public would turn their backs on baseball if they admitted any wrongdoing, and refused to acknowledge a problem. (Emphasis added.)

Switch the dates and a couple of names, and the above paragraph could be about our own Steroid Era. And the similarities don’t end with club owners turning a blind eye out of fear.

1. Gambling was a problem in baseball for years and yet no one did anything. Rumors of thrown games went back to the 1800s and the earliest days of the game. Similarly, abuse of steroids, amphetamines, and HGH were a problem for years before any action was taken.

2. Fans of the game were initially skeptical about gambling’s impact on baseball. Even today some still maintain that you cannot really put in a fix on a baseball game because it’s such a game of inches and averages. How can one player—or even one manager, in the case of Pete Rose—really guarantee a loss? Likewise, even now, there are some fans who insist that steroids do not have much of an impact on baseball because, after all, you still have to hit the ball.

3. It took a major crisis for baseball to expunge gambling from the game. Interest in the 1919 World Series—the first after World War I—ran so high, the league made it a best-of-nine series instead of a best-of-seven. When it became clear that the Series had been fixed—and when next season, thrown games continued to be an issue—baseball finally took action, putting several players from the 1919 White Sox on trial. That’s strikingly like the Steroids Era. Executives at every level knew there was a problem, but it took a major crisis—a threat to one of baseball’s most storied records, the career home-run record—for real action to be taken. And again, the issue is being sorted out in court with the indictment of Barry Bonds.

4. Shoeless Joe and his fellow “Black Sox” were scapegoats for a problem that was bigger than themselves. Joe Jackson was born dirt poor and went to work in a textile mill at the age of 13. At a time when most players made between $6,000 and $15,000 a year, he was offered $20,000 just to throw a few games. And the Black Sox were far from the only players to give in to temptation. Yet Joe and his compatriots were caught and banned from baseball (even though they were never convicted by a judge). Today, players like Bonds, Jose Canseco, Rafael Palmeiro, Jason Giambi, and Mark McGwire have become lightning rods for their steroid use, even when we know that players at all levels used steroids and even though neither Bonds nor McGwire ever failed a drug test. And while players these days are highly paid, thanks to the strongest workers’ union in America, many star baseball players are still born into poverty, have huge extended families to take care of, and have an almost overwhelming financial incentive to cheat.

5. Even now, fans are ambivalent about the presence of gambling in the game. Many are content with Hall of Fame bans for gamblers and juicers alike. But as is clear from our poll, many feel that admitted gamblers like Shoeless Joe and Pete Rose should be eligible for the Hall, despite their lifetime bans from baseball. Many feel that these players should be forgiven—Shoeless Joe was, without a doubt, the best hitter of his era and set a record for rookie batting average when he hit .408 in his first full season in the majors. Pete Rose is one of the best hitters of any era, maintaining a .304 average over 24 seasons and amassing a record 4,256 career hits. Similarly, many fans want Barry Bonds and his 756 career home runs in the Hall of Fame. And many want Mark McGwire and his then-single-season record 70 home runs in Cooperstown.

What do I think? I think Chicago White Sox owner Charles Comiskey was a jerk—a jerk and a tightwad who promised his players bonuses and then reneged on his end of the bargain. According to the Chicago Historical Society:

Comiskey frequently made promises to his players that he had no intention of keeping. He once promised his team a big bonus if they won the pennant. When they did win, the bonus turned out to be a case of cheap champagne. Comiskey even charged his players for laundering their uniforms. In protest, for several weeks the players wore the same increasingly dirty uniforms. Comiskey removed the uniforms from their lockers and fined the players.

[…]

Comiskey had once promised [Sox pitcher Eddie] Cicotte that if he won thirty games, he would receive a $10,000 bonus. When Cicotte won twenty-nine games, Comiskey benched him with the excuse that Cicotte should rest up for the pennant games…Cicotte’s personal request, regarding the fix, was $10,000 up front.

I think it’s a travesty that Comiskey is in the Hall of Fame and Shoeless Joe isn’t. But two wrongs don’t make a right. Apologists can portray Shoeless Joe as an underpaid, naive, reluctant conspirator, who was acquitted a judge and hit .385 in the Series. However, Joe admitted to taking money to fix World Series games and admitted to throwing those games. And for that, he is and always should be banned from Cooperstown.

UmpBumpers, what do you think about the lifetime bans of Jackson and Rose? And should those named in the Mitchell Report suffer a similar fate?

Beginning last week, we here at UmpBump set out on a quest to fix the Baseball Hall of Fame. First, we set out to discover which deserving players have been unjustly excluded from the eternal glory that is enshrinement Cooperstown. Our journey began last week as each of the UmpBump contributors made a case for one of the players not yet in the Hall who they feel should be.

First, Coley made the case for perennial ’80s pitching ace Jack Morris, whom he dubs “The Ultimate Winner.”

Alejandro followed with his argument on why Tim Raines’s usage of cocaine was different from later players’ usage of steroids.

Paul then countered with his analysis of why Mark McGwire deserves enshrinement, “steroids be damned.”

Next, Sarah offered a paean to her childhood hero, the mighty Red Sox slugger Jim Rice.

Finally, I presented evidence for why the Hall of Fame should have a place for Gil Hodges, the player who received the most votes ever in his 15 years on the ballot without actually getting in.

Then, after each UmpBumper had made their case for their favorite player not yet in the Hall, we handed out virtual Hall of Fame Ballots to see if anyone was truly found worthy in the eyes of UmpBump as a whole. The rules were simple: 1) Vote for any player who has been retired for at least five years, whether they are currently on a ballot or not. 2) Vote as many times as you like.

The panel of voters consisted of UmpBumpers Sarah, Nick, Alejandro, Paul, and Coley, as well as loyal UmpBump readers Melissa, Rich, and Danny O. Here were the results (name and number of votes):

Goose Gossage - 7
Andre Dawson - 5
Gil Hodges - 4
Jack Morris - 4
Bert Blyleven - 3
Tommy John - 3
Roger Maris - 3
Tim Raines - 3
Jim Rice - 3
Ron Santo - 3
Rod Beck - 2
Albert Belle - 2
Don Mattingly - 2
Mark McGwire - 2
Dale Murphy - 2
Buck O’Neil - 2
Pete Rose - 2
Luis Tiant - 2
Joe Torre - 2
Alan Trammell - 2
Harold Baines - 1
Dwight Evans - 1
Joe Gordon - 1
Shoeless Joe Jackson - 1
Davey Johnson - 1
Dave Justice - 1
Jim Kaat - 1
Chuck Knoblauch - 1
Sam Leever - 1
Mickey Lolich - 1
Minnie Minoso - 1
Deacon Phillippe - 1
Jimmy Scott - 1
Lee Smith - 1
Maury Wills - 1

As we can see, the overwhelming favorite and the only player to surpass the 75% threshold usually required for Hall induction was relief ace Goose Gossage, who appeared on 7 of 8 ballots cast (88%). Andre Dawson, Gil Hodges, and Jack Morris also had strong showings, and Bert Blyleven, Tommy John, Roger Maris, Tim Raines, Jim Rice, and Ron Santo also drew significant support.

Perhaps UmpBump will elect some of those other guys next year, but for now, only Goose Gossage has the UmpBump seal of approval for Hall of Fame induction. I think I speak for many of us here at UmpBump when I say that we would be very, very surprised if Gossage doesn’t get in this year. Everyone recognizes by now that it is perfectly legitimate to elect career relief pitchers into the Hall if they were truly great, and Gossage was certainly a much better pitcher than Bruce Sutter, who is already in.

Next time: UmpBump Fixes the Hall of Fame: Part II - Getting the Wrong People Out!

It’s Hall of Fame Week here at Umpbump. We’ll be taking a closer look at the Hall and giving you our take on who does and doesn’t belong in Cooperstown. In the last of our 5-part series on who belongs, we have a look at the case for Brooklyn Dodgers legend Gil Hodges.

It is long past time that Gil Hodges was put into the Hall of Fame.

One of the core members of the mighty “Boys of Summer” Brooklyn Dodgers dynasty, the soft-spoken Hodges was the beloved first baseman and cleanup hitter of a Dodgers squad that went to 7 World Series in a 13 season stretch. More than any other player, Hodges defined that team - his first full year in 1947 marked their first trip to the World Series, and his last full season in 1959 marked their last World Series appearance. In the intervening years, Hodges had 7 seasons in a row in which he banged out at least 100 RBI, and 11 seasons in a row in which he hit at least 22 homers, including two seasons over 40. Although Hodges’ career totals in the counting stats are sometimes seen as falling short, it is important to note that he did lose 4 prime years to service in the Marines during World War II, and even so, when he retired in 1963 he held the National League record for most home runs ever by a right-handed batter.

But while Hodges’ hitting numbers alone are impressive, he was also one of the finest defensive first basemen of all time. Throughout the 1950s, Hodges was universally acknowledged as the best defensive first baseman in the National League, acclaimed for his soft hands and great range. Hodges won the first three gold glove awards ever awarded to first basemen, including winning the first award in 1957 when there was only one Gold Glove at each position for the entire Major Leagues. Presumably, he would have won many, many more if the award had existed earlier.

Hodges also deserves commemoration as a respected Major League manager, who masterminded one of the most famous and improbable World Series runs ever as the skipper of the 1969 “Miracle” Mets. All in all, Hodges managed 9 seasons in the Majors, and was at the height of his esteem and respect as a manager when health issues forced his retirement in 1972 and caused his untimely death at the age of only 47 later that year.

The fact is, no player has ever come closer to making it into the Hall of Fame with out actually getting in than Gil Hodges. Consider:

• No player has ever received more votes from the Baseball Writers Association over the course of his 15 years of eligibility without getting in than Gil Hodges and his staggering 3010 votes.
• Gil Hodges is the only player to ever receive more than 60 percent of the vote in a year without eventually getting in. Today, clearing 50 percent is considered almost a sure sign that a player will eventually get in.
• At various times during his 15 years on the ballot, Hodges finished with more votes than 21 different players who would later become Hall of Famers.

There are historical reasons for why Hodges has been kept out of the Hall of Fame. Many have cited his early death as having prevented him from having the time to become one of the game’s respected elder statesman and get all chummy with the members of the veterans committee who elected so many of their buddies in the 1990s.

Just to take one example of an a first baseman inferior to Hodges who got elected by hanging around long enough to become a respected elder statesman, consider Tony Perez, who was elected in 2000 after years of heavy lobbying by “Big Red Machine” teammates already in the Hall, such as Joe Morgan. Hodges outslugged Perez (.487 to .463) had a higher OBP (.359 to .341), made more All-Star teams (8 vs. 7), won more Gold Gloves (3 out of a possible 3 vs. zero), had just as many 100-RBI marks (7) in fewer seasons, and his 370 homers were only 9 fewer than Perez hit in 2,748 additional at-bats.

But the simplest and biggest reason Hodges has been denied the Hall was that Hall voters deeply love the statistic of batting average. Although Hodges was good at drawing walks, his batting average was “only” .273. Just to give some perspective, even by the time of Hodges death in the 1970s, the Baseball Writers had only ever elected five players who had a career batting average below .300, and all five were either catchers or shortstops. Even today, it seems likely that many of the Veterans Committee voters look first at Hodges’ batting average and get no further, simply thinking to themselves “.273? That is not a Hall of Famer.”

But that is a shame. Because Gil Hodges was the prototype of the modern first baseman which all teams look for - a premier home run hitter who also gets on base and plays flawless defense around the bag.

So to recap: 1. Gil Hodges was the cornerstone of a legendary team which went to SEVEN World Series. 2. Gil Hodges put up Hall-worthy career numbers despite losing 4 years to military service. 3. Gil Hodges was the best offensive first baseman in the National League throughout his career. 4. Gil Hodges was also the best defensive first baseman in the National League, and perhaps all of baseball, throughout his career. 5. Nobody has drawn more support from more people for Hall induction than Gil Hodges has, without actually getting in.

Let’s put this man in the Hall already.