This is the last in a series of posts in which we flout teams for their farcical offseason foibles and felicitously flatter them for their formidable fancy footwork. This message has been brought to you by the letter “F”.

If you google the words “Mets” and “collapse”, you end up with over 494,000 results. If you google “Mets’ historic collapse”, you get 108,000 more. Needless to say, I was tired of hearing it and reading it. But all winter-long the sportswriters here in New York would not let it die. The team was broken, the scribes wrote. They were demoralized, downtrodden, and despaired. Sometimes you didn’t even know they were writing about a baseball team. They could have easily switched a few words around to make into the script from the movie “Platoon“:

“Day by day I struggle to maintain not only my strength but also my sanity. It’s all a blur. I have no energy to write. I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. The morale of the men is low, a civil war in the platoon. Half the men with Willie Randolph, half with Billy Wagner. There’s a lot of suspicion and hate. I can’t believe we’re fighting each other, when we should be fighting them.” - Mike Lupica

But rationality has to take over at some point. Consider this:

1. The Mets lost 12 of their last 17 games (.294 winning percentage)
2. The Phillies won 13 of their last 17 (.765 winning percentage)
3. Both of the above happened. And the Phillies were still only one game ahead at the end of the season.
4. At the Major League level, even the best teams have a hard time winning 60% of their games over the course of a full season, and even the worst can’t mess up badly enough to lose that much more than 60%.

So what happened to the New York Mets in the last three weeks of the 2007 regular season was incredibly unlikely, if not improbable, and I never saw this as a team that needed a total overhaul. That’s not to say that they were perfect, of course. They may have been good enough as they were constructed to win a division title in 2008. But if they wanted to go head-to-head with the AL powerhouses, they needed to upgrade.

And upgrade they did. For the last two seasons, this was a team without an ace. Tom Glavine was no longer Tom Glavine and Pedro Martinez was healthy enough to only pitch 160 2/3 innings during that time. If it wasn’t for the emergence of John Maine and the reemergence of Oliver Perez, it would’ve been an ugly sight indeed. With Johan Santana replacing Tom Glavine and his 84-mph fastball in the Mets rotation, a weakness turned into a strength.

The other major addition(s) can’t really be called an upgrade. While I still believe that having Ryan Church instead of Lastings Milledge will pay more dividends in 2008, next year, all bets are off. And Brian Schneider is Brian Schneider. I believe he’s already broken records in the NY media for how many articles have been written about his ability to “handle a pitching staff” because there’s nothing else he can do (the previous record was held by John Stearns) . By the way, you know who must be really angry right now? Ramon Castro. The guy goes and slugs .556 in 144 ABs in 2007, only to have the team go out and fail to acquire Yorvit Torrealba, trade for Johnny Estrada, then trade for Brian Schneider. Brutal. But lucky for us, we’ll never know if he’s hanging his head despondently or if it just looks that way because his neck can no longer support his massive dome (If I disappear mysteriously within the next couple of weeks, just know that I probably deserved it).

The bullpen remains mainly unchanged, and I’m OK with that. While many pointed to the relievers for the Mets failures, I tend not to get too worked up over it. With the departure of Guillermo Mota, the only Mets arm that frightens me to see him on the mound now is Jorge Sosa. It’s not that I believe in Scott Schoeneweis. It’s more that I believe he’s a better pitcher than he was in 2007. I do have some concerns about Billy Wagner (who, according to this photo, likes to indiscriminately throw bagels onto the ground…), since he’s turning 37 during the season. The fastball just isn’t what it used to be, and Wagner himself seems to realize this as he’s apparently working a curveball into his repertoire. The Mets will benefit from having Duaner Sanchez back after an injury he sustained in a car accident back in July, 2006, followed by a fracture in his shoulder during Spring Training last year that ended his entire season. If Sanchez can perform as well as he was capable of a couple of years ago, he and Aaron Heilman should be a capable set-up duo.

But the 500lb gorilla in the room is that the injuries are already piling up. First, Carlos Delgado had an MRI on his bothersome hip. Then Marlon Anderson and Ryan Church collided while chasing a ball during a game last week. The next day, Ruben Gotay injured his ankle. Orlando Hernandez is changing his entire pitching mechanics because of pain in his foot (goodbye, leg kick), and now we find out that Jose Valentin actually has a dead guy’s ligament in his knee. As usual these days, Luis Castillo is still running like he’s been shot in his thigh. Moises Alou is out 4-6 weeks with a hernia. Not to mention that Carlos Beltran just played his first game this spring yesterday as he continues to recover from offseason surgery.

And I didn’t even mention some others. I’m not kidding. There’s more.

This has, fairly or not, been the main criticism of the Mets as they are currently constructed. No one was overly surprised to hear that El Duque, Delgado and Alou were already hurt, and yet, there isn’t anyone around that can replace their production - especially offensively. If Hernandez isn’t ready to go (although as the #5 starter, the team probably won’t need him for the first couple of weeks) for his first turn in the rotation, Mike Pelfrey would most likely step in and probably won’t perform much worse than Duque would have. It won’t be so cut and dried as to who should start in left in Alou’s absence, however. Technically, Endy Chavez is the team’s #4 OFer, but in actuality, he’s best suited to be a late-inning defensive replacement. The other options are Marlon Anderson and Angel Pagan. The latter is a “gritty” and “aggressive” player who probably doesn’t belong on a big league roster, and Anderson is a player who Mets fans probably think is better than he actually is, thanks to the .906 OPS he posted in 69 ABs for New York in 2007. The team has been rumored to be targeting Marcus Thames of the Tigers but he’s an out-making machine. It’s more likely that they stick with what they have and start the year with either Anderson or Chavez in Left.

ADDITIONS: Johan Santana, Ryan Church, Brian Schneider, Matt Wise, Angel Pagan, Ruddy Lugo, Steve Register

LOSSES: Tom Glavine, Lastings Milledge, Paul Lo Duca, Shawn Green, Carlos Gomez, Jeff Conine, Guillermo Mota, Brian Lawrence, Aaron Sele, Phil Humber, Chan Ho Park

PROJECTED BATTING ORDER:

1. Jose Reyes - SS
2. Luis Castillo - 2B (ugh)
3. Carlos Beltran - CF
4. David Wright - 3B
5. Carlos Delgado - 1B
6. Moises Alou - LF (once healthy)
7. Ryan Church - RF
8. Brian Schneider - C

STARTING ROTATION:

1. Johan Santana
2. Pedro Martinez
3. John Maine
4. Oliver Perez
5. Orlando Hernandez

BULLPEN:

CL: Billy Wagner
SU: Aaron Heilman/Duaner Sanchez

OFF-SEASON GRADE: B-

Had I written this report one month earlier before all the injuries, I most likely would have given this team a higher grade. But I can’t simply ignore the likelihood that this team’s lineup and rotation will remain in flux for a good portion of the season due to the various ailments facing its players. I really don’t mind having Pelfrey in the rotation, but neither Alou’s nor Delgado’s production can be replaced effectively as it now stands - and that’s saying something because Delgado especially can no longer be relied upon to post above-average numbers for a first baseman.

Despite this, I still see the Mets as the favorites (on paper) to win the division. I’m not one to think that some voodoo magic has been cast upon the entire roster due to the demoralizing defeats last September. They landed the best pitcher on the planet without giving up top-notch prospects (primarily because the Mets didn’t really have any). Brian Schneider may be a black hole offensively, but he’s replacing the nearly as anemic Paul Lo Duca. As long as Jose Reyes produces at the level he’s capable of, the Mets offense should be able to produce as much as they did in 2007. IF health were not a factor, I actually think that this Mets team would be at least several games better than any of their NL East rivals. While it’s unlikely that this injury bug will continue to permeate the clubhouse at this rate, there is a seed of doubt here. But that’s the only thing that could really keep this team out of the playoffs.

NOW LET’S PLAY BALL!

-Hot Offseason Action Index-

This is one of a series of posts in which we eviscerate teams for their offseason blunders and grudgingly praise them for the occasional wily move. Guest author Melissa Rakestraw is a life-long Cubs fan and a first-time poster on UmpBump.com.

On October 14, 1908, the Chicago Cubs defeated the Detroit Tigers to become baseball’s world champions. It was their second consecutive title; they have failed to win a championship since that time. They haven’t even won their division two years in a row since then. But despite a century of futility, expectations around this team have been elevated after their come-from-behind NL Central title last year. And after watching previously futile franchises like the Red Sox and the cross-town White Sox take titles in ‘04 and ‘05 and then seeing their arch-rival Cardinals win it all in ‘06, Cubs fans (and Ryan Demptster) are tired of the lament, “wait ’til next year,” and in 2008 ask, “Why not us?” But that may be asking too much.

On the surface, it does appear that GM Jim Hendry has improved the team enough to repeat as division champs, but will these moves provide what’s necessary to win a World Series? For those looking for signs that the Curse of the Goat is still alive and well, the advent of spring training has already seen numerous oddities arise, which include the twisted testicles of Felix Pie, the fighting cocks of Aramis Ramirez, a fractured middle finger for Alfonso Soriano, the surgically repaired heart of Mark DeRosa and a convenience store smackdown suffered by Jose Ascanio. Let’s take a look at the offseason moves of a team whose season has already gotten off to a memorable start, regardless of the final outcome…

In ‘07 the Cubs had enough talent to overcome a slow start and make a second half push to win a weak division. But once they were swept by Arizona from the divisional round of the playoffs, it was clear that they were deficient in several areas. The most glaring weakness the Cubs suffered from was the lack of a #2 starter after Carlos Zambrano. Lefties Ted Lilly and Rich Hill certainly didn’t look the part and no one acquired in the offseason can be considered able to fill this role. The Cubs would have been well served to have made an effort to acquire Eric Bedard, Dan Haren, or Joe Blanton. The addition of any of these pitchers could have made them the clear favorite in the NL.

The Cubs have a fairly deep arsenal of young pitching prospects that surely would have made them competitive bidders. Although when asked why he never made an attempt to acquire Johan Santana, Hendry claimed that Santana refused to waive his no trade clause for a team that trained outside of Florida, I find it doubtful that the Cubs would have been willing to sacrifice the prospects necessary to complete the deal. In the past they have refused to deal top prospects only to have them fizzle out on the major league level (think Corey Patterson).

Hendry did make progress in upgrading his position players by somehow managing to unload the undisciplined and unfocused Jacque Jones on Detroit for utility man Omar Infante. This move set up Hendry’s acquisition of the crown jewel of the Cubs’ offseason - Kosuke Fukudome, the former Japanese-league MVP - who signed with Chicago for $48 million over 4 years. He was the primary free agent the Cubs targeted and his strengths should bolster areas that have been known weaknesses for the club. Defensively in right field, look for him to showcase impressive fielding skills and a rocket arm. Right field bleacher fans should not be surprised when they see him hitting the cut-off man or gunning down runners attempting to stretch singles into doubles. Moreover, the Cubs lineup is dominated by right handers, and his left-handed bat with some power and a high OBP was sorely needed. His combination of plate discipline, speed and power should make him an excellent fit in the 2nd or 5th slot of the batting order. PECOTA projects 550 plate appearances at .289/.401/.504, with 21 HR and 81 RBI.

Fukudome is a major upgrade for the Cubs in one position, but they also expect improvement at two other positions that they intend to fill from within. They allowed the defensive liability and offensively neutered Jason Kendall to walk in order to make room for top catching prospect Geovany Soto. Soto was impressive last season in his September call-up even though he had only 16 starts. Geovany had a stellar season in AAA and carried that success with him to the big league level where he showed plate discipline and the ability to drive in runs and hit for power. His defensive skills and his arm are well above average and offensively in 54 major league AB he had a line of .389/.433/.667. He looks poised to have a break-out season.

The other open position, still up for grabs, is center field. Felix Pie will be given the first opportunity to take over the reins at a position he could not hold last year. The 23-year-old product of the Cubs farm system has stellar defensive skills, and speed, but looked over-matched at the plate in ‘07, hitting only .215/.271/.333 in 177 AB. To succeed this season Pie must show a better command of the strike zone. He needs to cut down on a big looping lefty swing in favor of making contact, and must be more willing to sacrifice power in order to get on base. Unfortunately the Cubs brought him up through the minors as a #3 hitter when he is clearly not ever going to be a #3 in the Majors. They made the same mistake with Corey Patterson and he was either unwilling or unable to make the adjustment to being a table setter. Expect Pie to continue to languish at the plate if placed in the 8th slot which is where he likely will bat in the current projected lineup. It would serve Pie better to spend another year in AAA trying to adjust his approach at the plate.

The other top contender for the job in center is the Arizona Fall League MVP, Sam Fuld. Fuld is nearly as good a fielder as Pie and has shown that he is actually more advanced at the plate. Even if he doesn’t win the job in center, expect him to stick around as a 4th outfielder. Another avenue the Cubs are rumored to be pursuing is possibly dealing starting pitcher Jason Marquis to Boston for Coco Crisp. If the Cubs can pull it off, this would probably be the best option available, since Crisp is a proven major-league quality centerfielder, and the Cubs consider Marquis expendable due to the free agent signing of Jon Lieber and the moving of closer Ryan Dempster into the starting rotation.

The Cubs appear to have a solid pitching staff on the whole. They had the 2nd best ERA in the NL last season, led the league in strike outs, and were the most difficult NL team to manufacture runs against. Their top 3 starters, Carlos Zambrano, Ted Lilly, and Rich Hill, are certainly capable of combining for at least 45 wins. It’s most likely that Jon Lieber and Ryan Dempster will fill in the final two slots with youngsters Sean Marshall, Sean Gallagher, and Kevin Hart having outside chances. They don’t want to put Dempster back in the bullpen, even though in his career he is below .500 as a starter, and there was no point in acquiring Lieber if they did not intend to use him in the starting rotation. But placing much confidence in Lieber’s ability to stay healthy seems unwise due to his propensity for injury over the last 6 seasons. Since 2001, when he was the Cubs’ last 20-game winner, he has pitched over 200 innings only once and that was back in 2005. Still, at only one year and $3.5 million, the Lieber signing is not a huge gamble and, should he come up lame, they do have numerous young arms that could fill the slot.

What does make the Lieber signing rather curious, however, is that they refused to offer this same deal to Mark Prior, who has also been injury-plagued but is only 27 and has more upside than a 38-year-old Lieber. Prior has only made 57 starts in the last 4 seasons and hasn’t shown signs of the brilliance he possessed in 2003 when he won 18 games. But I would’ve rather seen them gamble on the younger player who has the potential to be a top of the rotation pitcher when healthy. When Prior balked at agreeing to a club option for a second year on the one year offer, the Cubs finally threw in the towel on one of the most heralded draft picks in franchise history.

So Prior no longer figures into the Cubs future, but they did re-sign oft-injured former phenom Kerry Wood to a one-year deal. Moving Dempster out of the closer role creates an opportunity for Bobby Howry, Carlos Marmol, or Wood to win the position in spring training. Woody seems the least likely to win the role in spite of being the hardest thrower. He has always had a propensity to walk batters and it’s uncertain if his arm can withstand working 2 or 3 consecutive days. Last season, Manager Lou Piniella tended to avoid using Wood in situations when the game was still in contention.

Carlos Marmol, possessor of the devastating slider and no doubt the closer of the future, may not yet be ready to move into the closer’s slot. While it is true that last season he had the 2nd lowest ERA (1.43) of all NL relief pitchers, and held batters to the 2nd lowest batting average (.169), the 25-year-old has not had the experience of facing the pressure of even a single major league save opportunity. Lou said last season that he liked having the flexibility of being able to bring Marmol into the game in the 6th, 7th or 8th when close games hung in the balance. He stranded inherited runners 87.8% of the time, which was better than all other NL relievers. Due to Marmol’s inexperience it is most likely they will start the season with veteran Bobby Howry in the closer role. Howry has done it before and it may benefit the club to ease the younger player into the role later on in the season if Howry falters.

In other bullpen moves the Cubs avoided salary arbitration with middle reliever Michael Wuertz by signing him to a one-year, $860,000 deal. The hard throwing right-hander was a solid contributor in ‘07 with a 3.48 ERA and stranded 86.8% of inherited runners, second in the NL to teammate Marmol. Neil Cotts was also resigned to a one-year deal, avoiding arbitration. He has a live arm but may return to the minors if he can’t regain the control that gave him the success he had in ‘05 with the White Sox. In a move with a lot of upside, Hendry dealt left hander Wil Ohman and utility man Omar Infante to Atlanta for Jose Ascanio, who has a 95+ mph fast ball and will likely begin the year at AA. Rule 5 draft pick-up Tim Lahey could also bolster their bullpen depth. These moves could serve dividends down the road and the Cubs have added young depth. Overall, I would say the pitching staff is slightly upgraded from last season, but more should have been done.

This offseason, the Cubs have made several moves that have improved their ballclub. It is still possible that they will attempt to bring in lead-off man and second baseman Brian Roberts, which would improve their lineup even more. That move would allow them to move Soriano and his strike outs down in the order and free up Mark DeRosa to fill the utility role which best suits him. But even if they are able to pry Peter Angelos’ pet out of Baltimore it probably won’t be a move that helps them capture the NL pennant. Their best chance of ending the centennial suckfest would be to acquire another top of the rotation pitcher. My prediction is wait ’til next year.

Offseason Grade: B

Additions: RF Kosuke Fukudome, SP Jon Lieber, RP Jose Ascanio, RP Tim Lahey, SS Alex Cintron, RP Chad Fox, RP Shingo Takatsu

Losses: OF Jacque Jones, C Jason Kendall, SP Mark Prior, RP Wil Ohman, OF Angel Pagan, OF Omar Infante

Projected Lineup, Rotation and Closer:

LF Alfonso Soriano - .299/.337/.560, 33 HR
SS Ryan Theriot - .266/.326/.346, 3 HR
1B Derrek Lee - .317/.400/.513, 22 HR
3B Aramis Ramirez - .310/.366/.549, 26 HR
RF Kosuke Fukudome - .294/.443/.520, 13 HR (Japan in 81 games)
2B Mark DeRosa - .293/.371/.420, 10 HR
C Geovany Soto - .389/.433/.667, 3 HR, 54 AB
CF Felix Pie - .215/.271/.333, 9HR

RHP - Carlos Zambrano - 18-13, 3.95 ERA
LHP - Ted Lilly - 15-8, 3.83 ERA
LHP - Rich Hill - 11-8, 3.92 ERA
RHP - Jon Lieber - 3-6, 4.73 ERA
RHP - Ryan Dempster – 2-7, 4.73 ERA, 28 SV

CL - Bobby Howry 8 SV, 3.32 ERA

-Hot Offseason Action Index-

This is one of a series of posts in which we belittle and berate each team for their blunderous offseason bungling, and sparingly salute them for scarce successful strategems.

A case can be made, and made fairly easily, that the St. Louis Cardinals have been the dominant Major League team of the new millenium. Beginning in the year 2000, the Cardinals went on an incredible run in which they made postseason appearances in 6 out of 7 seasons, including two World Series appearances and one World Championship. In those 7 campaigns, from 2000 to 2006, the worst season record the Cardinals posted was 83-78 in 2006, but they also won the World Series that year, so all in all it was a pretty awesome run.

But that run decisively came to an end last year, just as I had predicted, and the future looks rather grim for the Redbirds, especially in the near term. Since peaking at 105 wins in 2004, the Cardinals have won fewer and fewer games each year. Last year they won only 78, and are very likely to win even fewer this year, thanks to an already subpar bullpen further weakened by Troy Percival’s departure, and one of the worst starting rotations around. It also doesn’t inspire confidence to hear whispers of possible Tommy John surgery for the team centerpiece Albert Pujols, although he insists that he is going to try to play through “high grade tear of the ulnar collateral ligament in his right elbow, as well as bone spurs, inflammation and arthritis in the joint.”

The reasons for the Cardinals’ rapid decline since 2004 have been twofold. First, the Cardinals have demonstrated an ironclad determination to refuse to allow their payroll to surpass a threshold $90 million or so, despite opening a brand new stadium two years ago. In order to avoid passing this $90 million threshold, each year for the past four years the Cardinals have allowed virtually all of their free agents to walk, without signing any new impact free agents.

This might have been okay if the Cardinals had a fresh supply of talent from the minor leagues to replace departed stars, but this is where the second problem lies - despite all the draft picks the Cardinals have received for letting top talent depart via free agency, their drafts of late have generally been abominable, and they currently have one of the more barren minor league systems in the game. At present, the Cards do have one true grade A prospect in CF stud Colby Rasmus, but once he makes the big club for good (which will almost certainly be sometime this season), their next prospects with any real projectability are all several years away.

This all means that Cardinals fans will have to suffer through at least three years or so of mediocre baseball before the team might have a shot at having hope again. This might have been a nice time for the Cardinals’ ownership to open up the wallet and use some of that new stadium and World Series cash to reward what by all accounts is one of the most devoted and loyal fanbases in the game with at least some semblance of a competitive team, but instead it was just more of the same, letting free agents walk or trading away salary while signing no one new of any consequence.

2006 World Series MVP and working class hero David Eckstein was allowed to leave as a free agent, and long-time centerfield human highlight reel Jim Edmonds and his no-longer-in-the-budget $10 million salary were traded to San Diego for basically nothing. There was also the “challenge trade” of injury-ridden third basemen which sent Scott Rolen to the Blue Jays for Troy Glaus, which is basically a wash, but other than that the only other additions the Cardinals have made this entire offseason have been to sign Matt Clement, Cesar Izturis, and Jason LaRue (a catcher too awful for even the Royals), and to bring in Juan Gonzalez as a circus sideshow non-roster invitee to spring training.

In short, it was another utterly dispiriting offseason for Cardinals fans, really the fourth one in a row, and if you get the feeling that Cardinals ownership might be taking that famous loyalty of its fanbase for granted a bit, you would not be the only one.

Offseason Grade: D-

Additions: 3B Troy Glaus, SS Cesar Izturis, SP Matt Clement, C Jason Larue, 1B Josh Phelps (NRI), OF Juan Gonzalez (NRI)

Losses: 3B Scott Rolen, OF Jim Edmonds, SS David Eckstein, RP Troy Percival, OF So Taguchi, SP Kip Wells, OF Preston Wilson, C Gary Bennett, 3B Russell Branyan, 2B Miguel Cairo, OF John Rodriguez

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer:

RF Skip Schumaker - .333/.358/.458, 2 HR
CF Rick Ankiel - .285/.328/.535, 11 HR
1B Albert Pujols - .327/.429/.568, 32 HR
3B Troy Glaus - .262/.366/.473, 20 HR
LF Chris Duncan - .259/.354/.480, 21 HR
2B Adam Kennedy - .219/.282/.290, 3 HR
C Yadier Molina - .275/.340/.368, 6 HR
P Mediocre Pitcher Du Jour
SS Cesar Izturis - .258/.302/.315, 0 HR

RHP Adam Wainwright - 14-12, 3.70
RHP Joel Pineiro - 6-4, 3.94
RHP Braden Looper - 12-12, 4.94
RHP Matt Clement - 5-5, 6.61 (2006 stats)
RHP Anthony Reyes - 2-14, 6.04

CL Jason Isringhausen - 32 SV, 2.48

-Hot Offseason Action Index-

This is one of a series of posts in which we grade each team’s wily hot stove maneuvers and tragic offseason blunders.

Forgive me lord, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last UmpBump post.

Now that I have made peace with the almighty (who shall only be referred to as -mpb-mp), let’s talk about them Nationals.

Back in January, I spoke positively of what Washington had done at that point of the off-season. For years, this was a franchise who literally had no idea where they were headed. They learned after 35 years that French Canadians didn’t really like baseball all that much aside from Eric Gagne and Russell Martin. For over four years, they were owned by Major League Baseball, through which the owners of the 29 other franchises - those whose teams were in direct competition with the Expos on the baseball field - had control over the club’s future. They basically became guinea pigs as the new “owners” tested the financial possibilities of having a team in Puerto Rico before finally closing up shop in Montreal and landing in our nation’s capital. It’s like the entire franchise was reenacting the Book of Exodus and Peter Angelos was playing the role of the Red Sea (I’ll stop with the allusions to Judaism now).

I may be a Mets fan, but I’m first and foremost a fan of the game and this entire ordeal has made me want to root for this franchise. We the fans as well as the players who were on those final Expos teams deserved better than what we were getting. So I take some pleasure in being able to write that the Washington Nationals finally have a direction. They’ll have a brand-spanking-new stadium in 2008, for which I’m sure the hitters will be thankful. Their team will not compete for the division title in 2008, nor will they in 2009. In fact, they probably won’t have much of a shot for the next few years. But there is a glimmer of hope here, as well as stories to root for in 2008. And after years and years of seeing futility, I find that rather satisfying.

The first big move of the Nats’ offseason came at the expense of the New York Mets. The Nationals were willing to take on some risks and ended up with a young, promising center fielder in for eighty-cents on the dollar. Rightly or wrongly, Lastings Milledge was branded as a guy who didn’t respect the game. His time in Flushing, New York could best be summarized by the story about Billy Wagner pinning a note on Lastings’ locker that read “Know your place, rook” back in 2006. Despite this, the talent is there. The soon-to-be 23-year old posted a 2007 OPS of .787 in 184 ABs, which is pretty impressive once you consider his age and the fact that he played most of his games at Shea. Although one cannot forget that Milledge is yet to play a full season at the Major League level (350 ABs in his entire career), the Nationals appear to have made a more than solid move in acquiring him for an aging catcher who can’t hit his weight (Brian Schneider) and a good, not great, corner outfielder who probably won’t get any better (Ryan Church).

Washington also decided to roll the dice on Elijah Dukes, another young outfielder with a poor reputation, but this one was far more deserved by most opinions. His upside as a hitter may actually surpass that of Milledge, but thanks to his inability to stay away from legal troubles, appears to have a much longer road to travel before he ever reaches that potential. He’s a guy with a big build who has already exhibited the ability to take a walk. Thus far in training camp, he’s saying the right things, it seems, but as they say, talk is cheap - unless you’re Rudy Giuliani and can charge upwards of $270,000 per speech.

With these two on board, the Nats appear to be able to field a promising, young, outfield with Milledge in Center, Austin Kearns in Right and Wily Mo Pena in Left. If Dukes can stay out of trouble, I’d imagine that he will bump either Kearns or Pena from the starting lineup as well sometime during the season.

The remaining acquisitions were basically players well past their primes. Paul Lo Duca, Aaron Boone, Rob Mackowiak, Odalis Perez, and Johnny Estrada all signed one-year deals to play in Washington. While none of them should be relied upon to do much of anything, I can’t really blame the execs for bringing these guys in (although Lo Duca’s $5 million salary is pretty high) on short-term commitments. Thanks to a farm system devoid of… you know… actual young talent, bringing in vets for one season isn’t a terrible way to go about doing things.

We here at UmpBump had also wondered how the first base competition between Nick Johnson and Dmitri Young was going to play out. Well, based on what we learned today about Young’s physical condition, believe it or not, Johnson may be the healthier one of the two. I still don’t quite understand the $10 million extension they gave Young back in July, and it certainly won’t pay more dividends now, unfortunately.

And of course, there’s Ryan Zimmerman, a player who deserves far more attention than he receives. Throughout Zimmerman’s career, the spotlight for young, talented third basemen in the NL East has belonged to David Wright and Miguel Cabrera. But why not Zimmerman? Sure, he failed to improve on his 2006 season, but this was in large part due to an unlucky .270 BABiP in the first half of the season. After the mid-way point, his BABiP returned to his regular range of .320+, and along with it came a .361 OBP (up from .302 in the first half) and a .486 SLG (up from .435). Add in a very good glove and a move away from RFK Stadium (one of the best pitcher’s parks in 2007) and you have yourself a cornerstone.

One area in which they were just unable to improve was pitching. One of the major side effects of the franchise existing in MLB purgatory for all those years was that everything was being done for the short-term. You can’t start a rebuilding process successfully if you’re not sure you have a future to begin with. Under the ownership of MLB, the Expos/Nationals were completely handcuffed. Omar Minaya, who had been the GM of the Expos, was basically auditioning for his next gig the entire time he was there because he knew he had no long-term job security. So they went out and signed a bunch of veterans to field a decent team and ignored their “future” (i.e. prospects) in the process. The end result is the fact that despite pitching in RFK Stadium, 43 of their games in 2007 were started by pitchers who sported ERAs north of 6, plus 20 others by Mike Bacsik and his 5.11 ERA.

As it stands today, Shawn Hill and John Patterson are the only two who have a good shot at posting a league-average ERA in 2008. Is Patterson completely recovered? Well, not yet he isn’t. He pitched to live hitters for the first time since May 2007 just last week and still needs to build up arm strength. But just looking at his 2005 numbers, makes me not want to give up on him. We could be seeing young Ross Detwiler again on the MLB mound very soon as well, but from everything I hear and read, he’s more of a mid-rotation arm than staff ace.

I still believe that they should have dealt closer Chad Cordero and set-up man Jon Rauch months ago. Cordero is a “closer” by name only but his perceived value still outweighs his actual. With Rauch, you have to worry about a 6′11″ pitcher who is about to turn 30. I can’t imagine a guy with his frame and his workload over the last two seasons (173 games pitched - tops in MLB) lasting very long. Get out while ya can, Nats.

PROJECTED LINEUP:

SS - Christian Guzman
2B - Ronnie Belliard
3B - Ryan Zimmerman
1B - Nick Johnson
RF - Austin Kearns
LF - Wily Mo Pena
CF - Lastings Milledge
C - Paul Lo Duca

PITCHING:

SP1 - Shawn Hill
SP2 - John Patterson
SP3 - Jason Bergmann
SP4 - Matt Chico
SP5 - Tim Redding

CL - Chad Cordero
SU - Jon Rauch

ADDITIONS: Paul Lo Duca, Elijah Dukes, Lastings Milledge, Bret Boone, Aaron Boone, Rob Mackowiak, Tyler Clippard, Odalis Perez, Johnny Estrada, Willie Harris

LOSSES: Ryan Church, Brian Schneider, Nook Logan, Robert Fick, D’Angelo Jimenez, Tony Batista, Micah Bowie, Jerome Williams
OFFSEASON GRADE: B-

I really like the Milledge and Dukes trades quite a bit for a team like the Nationals. Their drafts simply haven’t been good enough to stock the minor leagues with real talent, but by this method they still were able to bring in Major-League-ready prospects into the fold. By also not signing any long-term contracts aside from the two-year deal given to Jon Rauch, they have a tremendous amount of financial flexibility. The currently have only five players under contract for 2009. In fact, here is a list of the players who are guaranteed a contract two years from now.

That is all.

Of course, this isn’t entirely a good thing. It’s nice to know you’re going to have a team. But there is real talent here, and given the increased contract expectations of even younger players who only qualify for arbitration, financial flexibility should allow them to navigate these waters more assuredly. Again, it looks like it’ll be a few years before we can possibly consider the Nationals as contenders in the NL East. But there are things to look for in 2008, and I’ll be watching.

-Hot Offseason Action Index-

This is one in a series of posts in which we denigrate each team for their flummoxing offseason gaffes, or flatter them for their perspicacious pre-season tactics.

Over the last 20 years, baseball has seen only two teams repeat as World Series champions. The 1992-1993 Toronto Blue Jays, and the mighty New York Yankees of the late 90s. Both of these franchises ensured their return to the promised land by assembling a powerful line-up complimented with pitching and defense. But although that’s the goal for every single team every offseason, so few World Series winners have been able to replicate their success the following year.

So what does it say when a team that missed going to the World Series by a single game, effectively decides to play it safe and field 99% of the same team it fielded the year before? That’s like earning a big fat bonus at the end of the year, only to pad your mattress with it, and that’s exactly what the 2008 Cleveland Indians have done.

Back in January, when we here at UmpBump were contemplating what each team still needed in order to make this offseason a productive one, I was at a loss. The Indiands had barely made any moves in the transaction list, signing Japanese reliever Masahide Kobayashi (no, not that Kobayashi, though you wonder what kind of impact it would have on the OPS), trading for infielder Jamey Carroll and signing Brendan Donnelly to a minor league deal.

And what has changed since? They’ve signed Jorge Julio to another minor league deal.

But who can blame the Indians for not making any significant moves? They certainly didn’t need an upgrade in their rotation, anchored by Cy-Young winner C.C. Sabathia, and featuring the break-out pitcher of 2007, Fausto Carmona. They have one of the most exicting players to watch, Grady Sizemore, patrolling center field; their catcher, Victor Martinez, led all catchers in Home Runs and RBI, and was second in most other offensive categories to Jorge Posada; they have promising young players like Franklin Gutierrez, and prospects like Shin-Soo Choo; and their designated hitter, the fearful Travis “Pronk” Hafner is returning after missing a big chunk of last year’s campaign due to injury.

Here’s what I had to say about the Indians’ bullpen last May, in a “what they need” post:

The only problem has been the bullpen; out of the seven relievers that have pitched more than 11 innings, only two have an ERA under 2.00, while the rest have a 3.10 or higher earned run average.

The Indians have to keep it consistent all season long and they’ll be right there when it’s all said and done. Considering the fact that they still have to play those make up games with Seattle, they might even have a better record than they do now.

Turns out, the Tribe did keep it consistent, and their relievers posted a collective 3.73 ERA, good for fourth in the American League.

So far, the team to take the headlines in the AL Central has been the Tigers, and rightly so. But the Indians were successful last year for playing a solid brand of baseball: strong, productive lineup, excellent pitching, good enough relief, and good defense. The Tigers on the other hand, have not solidified their bullpen - something which may eventually haunt them down the stretch (and let’s not worry about the Twins or the White Sox just yet, they have to be close at the All Star break before we can even begin to consider them contenders).

So sure, if Mark Shapiro was inclined to make some moves before the season got going, he opted to solidify what at some point last year seemed like a weak spot, the bullpen. But glancing over what the Indians did last year, and what they could ostensibly do this year (with a healthy Travis Hafner, I can’t stress that enough), one has to wonder if Shapiro’s decision to stay put is really the opening salvo of a new powerhouse in the American League.

Offseason grade: B-

Additions: Jamey Carroll, Brendan Donnelly, Jorge Julio, Masahide Kobayashi

Losses: Kenny Lofton

Projected lineup, rotation and closer:

CF - Grady Sizemore .277 .390 .462
2B - Asdrubal Cabrera .283 .354 .421
DH- Travis Hafner .266 .385 .451
C - Victor Martinez .301 .374 .505
1B - Ryan Garko .289 .359 .483
SS - Jhonny Peralta .270 .341 .430
3B - Casey Blake .270 .339 .437
RF - Franklin Gutierrez .266 .318 .472
LF - Jason Michaels .270 .324 .397

LH - C.C. Sabathia 19-7, 3.21 ERA
RH - Fausto Carmona 19-8, 3.06 ERA
RH - Paul Byrd 15-8, 4.59 ERA
RH - Jake Westbrook 6-9, 4.32 ERA
LH - Aaron Laffey 4-2, 4.56 ERA

CL Joe Borowski 45 SV, 5.07 ERA

The Indians are like that quiet kid in your class that’s always getting good grades, not A’s but solid B’s, that gets along great with everyone, and that once you’re out of college, you realize he’ll make it to the top because he knew what he was doing all along. Though, their inability to sign C.C. Sabathia long-term does make me wonder. CC’s contract talks have been shelved which cannot be good news (and that translates to the minus in B-). But who knows, maybe when Sabathia is feeling the ticker tape fall on his face come November, he’ll resign then?

-Hot Offseason Action Index-

This is one of a series of posts in which belittle each team for their befuddling offseason blunders, and possibly praise them for any prescient pre-season pickups.

The Astros were in deep trouble even before the offseason started. Even before Ed Wade started his wheelings and dealings to drive this once-proud franchise even further into the ground.

I know these posts are supposed to focus on what happened during this current offseason, but I think it would be difficult to understand exactly how fast and how breathtakingly far this organization has fallen without a bit of a recap on the past year.

It is almost hard to remember that just two years ago, the Astros were representing the National League in the World Series, and coming off nearly a decade as perennial contenders in the NL Central, including six playoff appearances in nine years.

But that all changed a year ago when the Astros had just about one of the worst offseasons imaginable. Things began when the Astros lost 2/3 of their rotation by making no effort to re-sign Andy Pettite, and consequently, lost Roger Clemens as well. The Astros attempted to fill this gaping hole with Woody Williams, but grossly overpaid for a 41-year-old pitcher whose numbers had been greatly enhanced by pitching in the best pitcher’s park in baseball for all those years in San Diego.

The Astros also tried to make a splash by signing Carlos Lee, but even at the time, many questioned giving a 6-year contract to one of the worst defensive outfielders in all of baseball who was already in his 30s and already seemed to be having signficant problems with his weight.

But the biggest blow of all was when the Astros inexplicably and bafflingly traded fan favorite centerfielder Willy Taveras as well as their two best pitching prospects, Jason Hirsh and Taylor Buchholz, to the Rockies for pitcher Jason Jennings, who had just one year remaining on his contract.

Not surprisingly, most of us here at UmpBump predicted disaster for the 2007 Astros, and our predictions were borne out in almost every way possible. While Pettite pitched well for the Yankees, and Taveras helped the Rockies reach the World Series, putative no. 2 starter Woody Williams fell off a cliff to an 8-15 record and a 5.27 ERA, Lee gained 30 pounds, won the NL GIDP title, cost the team 16 runs with his defense, and broke shortstop Adam Everett’s leg, and Jennings, who had come at such a high price, never looked right all year, posting an execrable 2-9 record with a 6.45 ERA. Overall, the team stumbled to a 73-89 mark, its worst record in eight years, and both manager Phil Garner and GM Tim Purpura lost their jobs.

Thus the Astros headed into the 2008 offseason in desperate need of a creative reboot. Despite the fact that they were locked into the bad contract with Lee and had a barren farm system, there was some reason for hope that the team might head in a new direction and launch a long awaited youth movement, now that the Craig Biggio farewell tour was over, Biggio was safely retired at least two seasons later than he should have, and the battle cries of “we have to try one more time to win a World Series for poor Craig Biggio” could be laid to rest.

Unfortunately, the man the Astros hired to replace Purpura, former Phillies GM Ed Wade, was simply not the right man to take the Astros in a creative new direction.

To be as fair as is possible to Wade, he was handed a pretty bad hand, given orders from owner Drayton McClain to put a contender on the field rather than rebuild, and handed one of the worst collections of talent in baseball. If we give points for trying hard, we have to admit that Wade has certainly been very active this winter, and has tried his very best within the limits of his understanding to improve the team.

It’s just that pretty much every decision he has made has been questionable. At the very least, it would have been wise for Wade to try his best to hang on to whatever prospects he had left, but instead he completely traded away every last near-major-league-ready prospect or marginal prospect the Astros had left in order to land Miguel Tejada and closer Jose Valverde, completely emptying the cupboard and taking what had been one of the five worst minor-league systems in baseball and turning it into the absolute worst.

Wade compounded mistakes by deciding to keep Tejada at shortstop. This made no sense, since Tejada’s defense is no longer even adequate at shortstop, and the Astros already had one of the best defensive shortstops in baseball firmly under control in Adam Everett. It would have been a perfect chance to shift Tejada to third, where the Astros had a gaping hole in the form of Ty Wigginton, a player who can nominally play any position on the diamond, but only because he is equally terrible at all of them. But instead, Wade decided to keep Tejada at short, and keep Wigginton - a player even the Devil Rays didn’t want. He then actually non-tendered Everett - one of the top two or three defensive shortstops in all of baseball - losing a valuable player that was still under the team’s control and getting nothing in return, while insuring that any gain to the offense from what pop remains in Tejada’s unjuiced bat will be negated by the absolutely abominable left-side defense.

Mistakes continued in other areas as well. While Valverde is a useful player, his acquisition necessitated the trading away of the Astros’ last remaining major-league ready pitching prospect. And the whole reason Wade had needed to get Valverde in the first place was that he had traded away incumbent closer Brad Lidge to the Phillies to get one of his old favorites from his days in Philadelphia, centerfielder Michael Bourn. Although Bourn is an exciting speedster and a well-liked teammate, he is projected by most systems to be a fourth outfielder type at best so one has to wonder if will help the Astros much at all.

Finally, there is the awful signing of Kazuo Matsui to a 3-year, $16.5 million deal. I almost can’t express in words what a terrible idea this was. It reeks of big-name-itis, a desire to get someone, anyone, who might have been affiliated with the Rockies’ magic mojo of last season, and a complete lack of understanding about how ballparks might affect hitting numbers. Given that he was playing half his games in Coors Field last season, Matsui’s batting numbers are truly frightening, and we can expect a severe drop off as he returns to sea level. One wonders if Matsui’s numbers next season would be better than even another season of Craig Biggio, as bad as Biggio was in recent years.

So where do all Ed Wade’s moves this leave the Astros in 2008? In the NL Central cellar, alongside the Pirates, and with a very dim future.

The Astros offense should be okay, but with the loss of Lidge, Chad Qualls, and Dan Wheeler they have not much bullpen after Valverde, they have one of the worst infield defenses in the major leagues, and they have perhaps the worst rotation in all of baseball, despite the presence of ace Roy Oswalt (I mean seriously, Wandy Rodriguez is the number two starter?!?!). You are also talking about a team with the worst farm system in all of baseball, a meddling owner who interferes with his GM, a hide-bound GM stuck in old ways of thinking, and no hope of doing anything at all at any time in the anywhere near future.

In other words, in just two short years the Astros have gone from World Series runners-up to the worst organization in all of baseball.

Offseason Grade: D

Additions: SS Miguel Tejada, CL Jose Valverde, 2B Kazuo Matsui, CF Michael Bourn, CF Darin Erstad, OF Jose Cruz Jr., RHP Shawn Chacon, UT Geoff Blum, RHP Oscar Villareal, RHP Doug Brocail, RHP Geoff Geary, RHP Chad Paronto, OF Reggie Abercrombie

Losses: 2B Craig Biggio, RHP Brad Lidge, SS Adam Everett, RHP Chad Qualls, 3B Mike Lamb, OF Luke Scott, 2B Chris Burke, UT Eric Bruntlett, LHP Trever Miller, RHP Matt Albers,

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer:

CF Michael Bourn - .277/.348/.378, 18 SB
2B Kaz Matsui - .288/.342/.405, 32 SB
SS Miguel Tejada - .296/.357/.442, 18 HR
1B Lance Berkman - .278/.386/.510, 34 HR
LF Carlos Lee - .303/.354/.528, 32 HR
RF Hunter Pence - .322/.360/.539, 17 HR
3B Ty Wigginton - .278/.333/.459, 22 HR
C J.R. Towles - .375/.432/.575, 14 ML games

RHP Roy Oswalt - 14-7, 3.18
LHP Wandy Rodriguez - 9-13, 4.58
RHP Brandon Backe - 3-1, 3.77
RHP Woody Williams - 8-15, 5.27
RHP Chris Sampson - 7-8, 4.59

CL Jose Valverde - 47 SV, 2.66

-Hot Offseason Action Index-

This is one of a series of posts in which we lambaste each team for their befuddling offseason boondoggles, and possibly applaud them for their prescient preseason pickups.

The Giants have traditionally put very strong teams on the field year after year, and have had very few truly catastrophic seasons, but this year’s team will have a shot to be historically bad.

Last year the Giants lost 91 games, which tied for the 4th worst record in their 125 years of existence, and this year they could well be even worse. PECOTA is projecting the Giants to lose 93 games this year, and it with a few key injuries or some bad luck in one-run games, one could easily imagine a scenario in which the Giants would lose more than the 100 games they lost in 1984, and thus set a new record for the worst season in franchise history.

Consider:

- Last season the Giants were dead last in the entire Major Leagues with a .708 team OPS, last in the Majors with a .387 team slugging percentage, and 29th out of 30 teams with 673 runs scored. And ridiculously, that was including the contributions they got from Barry Bonds and his 1.045 OPS!

- By letting Bonds, Ryan Klesko, and Pedro Feliz walk as free agents, the Giants are losing 41% of the meager 131 homers they hit as a team last season. PECOTA projects that the 2008 edition of the Giants will hit a mere 93 home runs. The team leader is projected to be Aaron Rowand with 14, followed by Dan Ortmeier and Bengie Molina with 12 each.

- David Pinto of Baseball Musings is projecting that the Bonds-less Giants will average 3.99 runs per game this season, down from 4.22 last year. At that rate, it will be a year-long struggle for the Giants to even clear 600 runs scored on the season.

- The Giants do have a promising young starting rotation, but their awful bullpen was last in the National League last season with 33 bullpen losses, and has not been upgraded in any way this offseason.

Indeed, nothing seems to be more popular this offseason than making up zingers about how much the Giants will suck this year. A small sampling of a few of the better ones:

“One move to make: Release half the roster.” - Joe Sheehan, Baseball Prospectus

“Take the Fresno Grizzlies, spot them a league-average starting rotation, and what do you get? The 2008 San Francisco Giants.” - Nate Silver, Baseball Prospectus

“I think I’d trust Amy Winehouse to guard my bag of coke before I’d trust [Brian Sabean] to build my offense.” - Dan Szymborski, Baseball Think Factory

“Maybe management thinks the best way to celebrate the Giants’ 50th anniversary of their arrival in San Francisco is to have as many active players as possible who were actually alive the last time Willie Mays was on a major league roster.” - A.J. Mass, ESPN.com

The sad part is, as bad as the Giants are going to be this year, there seems little hope of improvement at any time in the near future. The Giants already have a payroll in the $100 million range, they are locked into bad long-term contracts with Barry Zito and now Aaron Rowand, they have no tradeable assets to speak of, and up and down the system they have one of the thinnest collections of minor league talent of any team. In fact, the highest-ranked prospect in their whole system right now is Angel Villalona, a 17-year-old Dominican youngster without a defensive position who was still playing in Rookie ball last year.

This is a team with so many holes at the major league level, that it could be legitimately said that they headed into this offseason needing to find a first baseman, a second baseman, a shortstop, a third baseman, an outfielder, a closer, and nearly an entire rest of a bullpen.

So how did the Giants get into this mess? Well, for the last 15 years, the team, led mostly by GM Brian Sabean, has systematically mortgaged their future in an attempt to win it all now, trading away, blocking, or simply failing to develop any young position-player talent they might have had, while repeatedly signing big-name “experienced veterans” to overly long contracts. In some sense, this strategy was understandable - after all, if you have arguably the greatest hitter of all time on your team in Barry Bonds, it seems reasonable to try to win now rather than waiting for some distant future which may not come. But the execution of the strategy has been very poor. Despite having Bonds on the team for 15 seasons, the Giants failed to win a championship, and only ever made one World Series, back in 2002.

But even worse than past mistakes is the fact that Sabean and the Giants continue to compound those past mistakes by imagining that they are only a veteran player or two away from contention. No team in baseball is farther away from contention than the Giants right now, especially after the departure of Bonds, and yet Sabean went out and signed league-average centerfielder Aaron Rowand to a gargantuan $60 million, five-year contract which will take him well into his mid-30s decline years, having signed a similar deal with Barry Zito last year. But even setting aside the mediocrity of these players, these kind of signings would only make sense if the Giants had any hope of reaching the playoffs within the lifetime of these contracts. Since that is almost certainly not going to happen, this is a case where the Giants would almost literally be just as well served taking all that money and dumping it into the San Francisco Bay.

Although the Giants are in no position to contend any time soon, at the very least they should recognize this fact, trade away or just eat the contracts of some of the horrible veterans on their roster, and start playing kids and searching through the waiver wires for some promising youngsters to at least start building toward a semblance of maybe constructing a possible contender in five or six years’ time.

Offseason Grade: F

Additions: Aaron Rowand

Losses: Barry Bonds, Pedro Feliz, Ryan Klesko

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer:

LF Dave Roberts (36) - .260/.331/.364, 31 SB
SS Omar Vizquel (41) - .246/.305/.316, 14 SB
RF Randy Winn (34) - .300/.353/.445, 14 HR
CF Aaron Rowand (30) - .309/.374/.515, 27 HR
1B Dan Ortmeier (27) - .287/.317/.497, 6 HR
C Bengie Molina (33) - .276/.298/.433, 19 HR
3B Rich Aurilia (36) - .252/.304/.368, 5 HR
2B Ray Durham (36) - .218/.295/.343, 11 HR

LHP Barry Zito (30) - 11-13, 4.53 ERA
RHP Matt Cain (23) - 7-16, 3.65 ERA
LHP Noah Lowry (27) - 14-8, 3.92 ERA
RHP Tim Lincecum (24) - 7-5, 4.00 ERA
RHP Kevin Correia (27) - 4-7, 3.45 ERA

CL Brian Wilson (26) - 6 SV, 2.28 ERA

-Hot Offseason Action Index-

This is one of a series of posts in which we throw feces at each team’s ineffectual attempts to improve and daub them with rosewater in those areas where they have managed to do so.

What is there to say about the Rangers this year? They’re clearly going to come in last—again—in an already weak division. (A division that only has four teams. Lame!) I can barely muster up the spleen required to rip them. So much for “in-your-face baseball commentary.” But let’s give it a shot anyway—after all, this may be the one post UmpBump writes about the Rangers all year. (At least until Milton Bradley acts up again.) To add interest to this fairly lackluster team, I will rely on an old writerly device: the exclamation point!

So I looked at the projected lineup of the Texas Rangers (below) one thing really stands out: only two players played 130 games or more last season, and only four topped 100 games! And when I looked at their starting rotation, I noticed that no pitcher on the list has an ERA of under 4.50!

Oof!

Texas is fielding quite a motley crew this season. Michael Young, arguably the only shortstop worse defensively than Derek Jeter! Josh Hamilton, who recovered from his crack addiction by finding Jesus! Milton Bradley, last seen causing himself a season-ending injury by trying to attack an umpire! Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who married his high school teacher!

Nonetheless, if I can set aside the ennui these Rangers induce in me, I have to admit there are some pretty interesting players on this team. Hamilton, for instance. In a recent article discussing Hamilton and Bradley, Jerry Crasnick writes:

At Rangers camp in Surprise, [Arizona,] they’re getting a crash course in what the fuss was all about. Hamilton hits high, majestic drives over the fence in batting practice, and his teammates strain for superlatives.

“We haven’t had any shortage of offensive monsters since I’ve been here,” says Michael Young, ticking off the names of Alex Rodriguez, Alfonso Soriano, Carlos Lee and Juan Gonzalez, among others. “But I think they might all take a backseat to this guy in batting practice. When you’re hitting balls to the opposite field off the top of the clubhouse, it’s just silly.”

His fellow Rangers attest that the ball even sounds different as it comes off Hamilton’s bat.

“I’ve never seen anyone as gifted as him,” Texas second baseman Ian Kinsler says. “He was born to play this game.”

Well, at least he should be fun to watch! And of course, Saltalamacchia will be getting his first full season in the bigs. That will be nice. And the aforementioned Milton is sure to entertain—for better or for worse!

Acquisitions: Milton Bradley LF, Kazuo Fukumori RP, Eddie Guardado RP, Jason Jennings SP, Chris Shelton 1B, Ben Broussard 1B, Josh Hamilton CF

Losses: Brad Wilkerson RF, Edinson Volquez SP, Freddy Guzman CF, Armando Galarraga SP, Sammy Sosa DH, Jerry Hairston Jr. CF

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer:

SS Michael Young .315 AVG, .366 OBP, 9 HR, 156 games
3B Hank Blalock .293 AVG, .358 OBP, 10 HR, 58 games
CF Josh Hamilton, .292 AVG, .368 OBP, 19 HR, 90 games
LF Marlon Byrd .307 AVG, .355 OBP, 10 HR, 109 games
C Jarrod Saltalamacchia .251 AVG, .290 OBP, 7 HR, in 46 games
RF Milton Bradley, .306 BA, .402 OBP, 2 HR, 61 games
1B Ben Broussard, .275 AVG, .330 OBP, 7 HR, 99 games
2B Ian Kinsler .263 AVG, .355 OBP, 20 HR, 130 games
DH Frank Catalanotto .260 AVG, .337 OBP, 11 HR, 103 games

SP1 Kevin Millwood, 172.2 IP, 5.16 ERA
SP2 Vicente Padilla, 120.1 IP, 5.76 ERA
SP3 Jason Jennings, 99 IP, 6.45 ERA
SP4 Brandon McCarthy, 101.2 IP, 4.87 ERA
SP5 Kason Gabbard, 81.3 IP, 4.65 ERA

CL C.J. Wilson, 3.03 ERA, 1.22 WHIP (Though it could be Eddie Guardado by the time spring training is over.)

Grade: C

The best that can be said for the Rangers is that they seemed to finally admit, last season, that they weren’t going to win any time soon. They moved Mark Teixeira and Eric Gagne for prospects, and their farm system now looks better than most. 2008 is a throwaway year for the Rangers, but check back in 2010—if they haven’t done anything stupid, they could be contending by then! You never know! And as Nick so wisely said, “It’s not like they are the Pirates!”

-Hot Offseason Action Index!-