So, I was looking at baseball statistics on ESPN.com when I noticed an ad promoting ESPN’s newest hire, “11-time sportswriter of the year” columnist Rick Reilly.

Then I noticed this text add, below the Riley ad:

“Teeth Whiteners Exposed”
7 Teeth Whitening Products Tested, Rated, and Reviewed. A…
www.best-teeth-whitening.com

And then I made an appointment at my dentist. Because it takes more than $2 million a year to have a winning smile. It takes dedication to dental care. And Reilly has both.

Seriously, Rick, those are some crazy white teeth. Did Greenberg give you a makeover or what?

Maybe she thought it was like in football, where all the cool people spike the ball?

I love how this clip seems to play into those spoof commercials she’s been doing for MTV. I love how Mariah’s line between what’s “real” and what’s “performance” has become so blurred, yet not in a scary, crazy, out-of-control Britney Spears kind of way—oh no. No, Mariah is driving this campy, vampy train, and the rest of us must just sit back and enjoy the divalicious ride. I love that jacket, too.

But mostly, I love that if I were still at Brown, I could write an entire honors thesis on this one YouTube video.

He’s feeling quite uncomfortable. And I’m not talking about his spotty defense.

Note: I’m filing this under “quick laughs,” but I’m not actually laughing. More like cringing.

Yeah. Yeah, this sounds about right.

First Coley noticed that Adam Jones was apparently asleep in his Yahoo! Sports headshot. Now, thanks to the sharp eyes of Paul, we can all see that Chris Duncan doesn’t look so hot either:

You know what we need, dude? We need some FUNYUNS! Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!

Oh, ESPN. Not only did you force me last night to listen to Jon Miller and Joe Morgan pat themselves on the back for an entire inning after “discovering” that the left field foul pole at Yankee Stadium was “in the wrong place” (It’s not. It’s fine. It’s called an optical illusion. The left field fence at the corner is angled, making it look like the two are not aligned. You’ve wasted my time), you think that us New York baseball fans are morons by showing us a stock-footage shot of the Manhattan skyline. Any New Yorker paying attention at this point would have noticed something odd. On the TV screen, the Empire State Building was lit up in green and red (above). Problem is, it’s only ever green and red around the December holiday season. Had it been a live shot, they would have shown the building lit up in blue and white on one side (Yankees colors) and blue and orange on the other (Mets colors) to commemorate the Subway Series games that were going on at that moment.

Way to go, fellas.

So I was doing some research for this week’s Boston Metro column, and I googled “Baseball Writers’ Association of America” just to do some fact checking. I had never actually been to the website of the BBWAA before. Looking at their homepage, I got the feeling I wasn’t alone:

Holy old-school frijoles! That is some quality mid-90’s web design right there. Anyone else feels like this explains a lot?