According to the title of an article in today’s edition of the New York Daily News, Mets’ CFer Carlos Beltran “vows to boycott Arizona All-Star game, if selected, over law.” You got that, Arizona? Carlos Beltran would rather change his grandmother’s diapers before playing at an All-Star game in your stinking state and spits in […]

God, I love the internet. Enjoy.

“He was definitely rubbing me also. It’s hard to distinguish who exactly encountered or created the first rub” Who said it? Was it: a) First-timer in a pitch-black orgy room (damned rookies) or b) Tampa Bay Manager Joe Maddon essay on addiction talking about who initiated contact during last night’s confrontation with home plate umpire […]

Aside from his incarnation on Seinfeld, George Steinbrenner has given me very little enjoyment in my life as a Met fan. And even though his presence in the Yankees organization has become much smaller, the man’s legacy continues to haunt: Steinbrenner and (Barbara) Walters always insisted they were nothing more than good friends. But some […]

The above is from the player page in my Yahoo fantasy baseball league. As you may know, the Astros’ Lance Berkman began the season on the DL and is getting himself ready physically to play some ball. But here’s what I want to know – how in the hell do you know if you’re working […]

What’s in a name? Well, it’s probably the personality traits of your parents. If you’re named John, your parents are boring as hell. If your name is Chastity, your parents had incredibly unfair expectations of you. If you’re named Blanket, your dad is a freak. And if you choose to shorten your name to “B.J.”, […]

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Featured posts

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]