Mark Redman: The best of the worst

The Braves, upon hearing SP Mike Hampton would be out for at least two months with a left oblique strain, have signed free agent SP Mark Redman.

This tells us something about the 2007 Braves: they’re desperate. But we already knew that.

It tells us even more about the 2006 Royals: they really, truly sucked. We’re talking history-making suckage.

Think about this for a moment. Redman, who was an all star last season and had a winning record pitching for what amounted to a AAA team, remained unsigned until just now. How is that possible?

Maybe he was holding out for too much money, you say? Nooooo. Redman didn’t even get a guaranteed contract. The Braves gave him a minor league contract worth $700,000. Peanuts.

So why didn’t Redman get signed until today? And why didn’t he get more money? Because he sucks!

Someday, years from now, I’ll have my grandson on my knee and he’ll ask, “Grandpa, what was the worst team ever?” And I’ll reply, “The 2006 Royals.”

“How bad were they,” sonny will ask.

“Well, they were so bad that their all star game representative that season didn’t even get signed until a few weeks into spring training and even then didn’t get a guaranteed contract.”

“Wow,” he’ll say. “That’s bad.”

Yes, the 2006 Royals were truly terrible. And when we look back at them, let us remember this: that their best player was still so bad that he couldn’t get a guaranteed contract to pitch for any of the other 29 teams. Not a single one. AND he couldn’t even finagle a minor league deal until half-way through spring training. Ouch.