Papi on DL as arm falls off in 9th

Okay, just kidding. (Please, no anthrax letters to UmpBump HQ.)

Seriously, though, the injuries to my beloved Red Sox just keep adding up. Jason Varitek, Trot Nixon, Matt Clement, Tim Wakefield, Keith Foulke. And those are just the major guys currently out. Let’s not forget David Wells and Coco Crisp missing major time earlier this year. And Mike Timlin hasn’t been the same since coming off the DL in June. Now Mike Lowell is limping.

As if all that weren’t quite enough, Doug Mirabelli injured himself in the course of tonight’s game as well. New veteran (”new veteran”?) Javy Lopez replaced him mid-game. After Varitek’s meniscus tear, Mirabelli’s twisted ankle, Josh Bard’s raging case of fingerus butterificus, and Tim Wakefield terrifying John Flaherty into retirement, Javy might want to take out an insurance policy or buy some juju beads or something.

Then Curt Schilling really tried to send all of Red Sox Nation into cardiac arrest by trying to barehand a well-hit ball with his pitching hand.

Curt, we appreciate the effort, but let’s not have a sequel of the “bloody sock.” Sequels are never as good as the original.