Superman takes three dumps a day

I’m kicking myself for contributing to all the sawks/yanks rivalry and hype. It’s overblown, over rated, and it was so over in ‘04.

Still, I can’t help but wonder how it was possible for Mirabelli to do the whole superman-changing-in-the-back-of-the-police-car-escort thing. Not to mention, making it in time for the 7:13 p.m. start after landing at Logan International at 6:48.

It kinda makes me wonder if Maribelli’s day had any of his common daily goings on — including three visits to the shitter. [Google cache in case the link disappears]

It also makes me think that the cops in Boston must not have enough to do. Here are the requirements for a Mass. State Police officer (with some - uh added) responsibilities.

State of Massachusetts

Massachusetts State Police

470 Worcester Road

Framingham, MA 01701

(508) 820-2290

Minimum Requirements:

1) Possess a High school diploma or G.E.D.

2) Be able to obtain firearms permit.

3) Be least 19 years old on the date of the examination.

4) Be able to swim.

5) Be a United States citizen at appointment.

6) Be less than 35 years old upon appointment to the State Police Academy.

7) Not smoke.

* update: 8 ) Be able to drive “tha ‘Belli” from Logan International to Fenway Park in less than 20 minutes.

Benefits: Recruits are paid a weekly salary of plus benefits while training at the State Police Academy. Individuals must graduate from the State Police Academy before being appointed a Trooper. From time to time, specially when the Sawks play da bombers, you wil lbe asked to drive an important player to Fenway park. Disregard any obstacle (be it human, road, or otherwise). By all means, you must make it in time for Wakefield to toss his warm up pitches or you will be fired.

Selections: To gain entry into the State Police, all applicants must take the written entrance examination. You will also be tested on the Mass. Turnpike to see if you can drive at 100mph while avoiding traffic.

Recruits must successfully complete approximately six months of training at the State Police Academy in New Braintree. Recruits live at the Academy Monday through Friday during this period. You must also be devoted Red Sox fans.

From Copcareer.com (with a small addition on my behalf).

I’m sure the citizens of Boston are proud that the $51,263 a year (or roughly $170 a day) in median Boston police salaries are put to such good use.