TBS is showing a re-run of the Steve Harvey Show. I don’t even know what that is. My boyfriend had to spell it for me. WHERE IS MY BASEBALL? WHERE IS MY BECKETT? WHERE IS TROPICANA FIELD? Right about now, those mowhawked, blue-haired, cowbell-ringin’ Rays fans are standing and screaming, “NOT IN OUR HOUSE, MUTHAF*CKAS!” […]

The big game is less than an hour away and the big question is, undoubtedly: which Josh Beckett will show up tonight? As this NYT article points out, his fastball velocity is dangerously down: His fastball averaged 93.9 miles an hour in 2008, but it decreased to 92.4 against the Angels and just 91.1 against […]

We may only have another day to enjoy this, Sox fans, since Josh Beckett and his craptastic oblique will be taking the mound for Boston tomorrow and who knows what will happen. To get the maximum enjoyment out of this moment—and I am still doing secret little cha-cha moves up and down the corridors at […]

I’m watching the game—it’s just the bottom of the 4th now—and the Red Sox have coughed up yet another early lead to the Rays. Evan Longoria only hits home runs. So, too, B.J. Upton. Scott Kazmir has suddenly remembered how to pitch. Meanwhile, David Ortiz struck out on three pitches earlier and can’t hit the […]

I noticed a subtlety in Jerry Crasnick’s write-up of last night’s absolutely inSANE game between the Red Sox and Rays—Game 2, in which the Rays tied the series 1-1 after pulling off a walk-off win in the 11th against Mike Timlin. (Why does Terry Francona bring in Timlin in extra innings anymore?? As soon as […]

Boston is nothing if not a verbose town. We’ve got a raft of writers, a posse of intellectuals, and Ted Kennedy. And our ballclub’s seven-game ALCS victory has only made this affliction worse.   Our baseball men are getting metaphorical (and even Classical):   “He was like a long-tailed cat in a room full of […]

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Featured posts

December 5, 2011

Will anybody get elected to the Hall of Fame this year?

Last week, we asked you to vote for who you would like to see enshrined in baseball’s Hall of Fame. The verdict? If it were up to UmpBump readers, nobody would make it in. The leading vote getter (so far) is Jeff Bagwell, who has 60% support. Of course, in the real voting, players need […]

January 5, 2011

Annual UmpBump Hall of Fame Balloting: 2011 Edition

In what has become an annual tradition, we here at UmpBump cast our ballots for the Hall of Fame on the eve of the announcements of the voting for the real Hall of Fame. Voters can vote for anyone ever who has been retired from baseball for at least five years and is not already […]

October 19, 2010

Crowdsourcing the Greats: The Top 10 Managers of All Time

Now that we’ve looked at every position on the diamond, as well as relief pitchers, we are nearing the end of our “Crowdsourcing the Greats” series. But before we finish, let’s turn one more time to the internet hoi polloi for answers on who the greatest baseball manager of all time was. As usual, we […]