Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa was busted for DUI last night by the Jupiter PD. But something about this story seems awfully fishy. From the AP:

Undercover officers saw La Russa’s SUV partly in an intersection around midnight and not moving despite two green lights, police said. Officers knocked on the vehicle’s window and La Russa did not initially respond.

The SUV was in drive and running, with La Russa’s foot on the brake, police said. When he eventually woke up, the officers asked him to get out of the car.

He was arrested and booked at the Palm Beach County jail on the misdemeanor, according to police and jail records. He was released about 8:30 a.m. after posting $500 cash bond, said Paul Miller, a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office spokesman.

Okay, first of all, LaRussa was barely over the legal limit. Here’s a list of the different blood alcohol levels and the behavior that is associated with them, courtesy of habitsmart.com:

02 MELLOW FEELING. SLIGHT BODY WARMTH. LESS INHIBITED.

05 NOTICEABLE RELAXATION. LESS ALERT. LESS SELF-FOCUSED. COORDINATION IMPAIRMENT BEGINS.

.08 DRUNK DRIVING LIMIT. DEFINITE IMPAIRMENT IN COORDINATION AND JUDGMENT.

.10 NOISY. POSSIBLE EMBARRASSING BEHAVIOR. MOOD SWINGS. REDUCTION IN REACTION TIME.

.15 IMPAIRED BALANCE AND MOVEMENT. CLEARLY DRUNK.

.30 MANY LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS

.40 MOST LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS; SOME DIE.

.50 BREATHING STOPS. MANY DIE.

LaRussa was passed out, behavior you’d expect from somebody with three times the booze he had in his system. According to his blood/alcohol level, he should have been somewhere between “impaired” and “embarrassing”.

Maybe LaRussa got too much sun Wednesday afternoon. Or maybe he’s been having trouble sleeping. But I think there’s more to this story than has been reported. You don’t pass out at the wheel after only a couple of drinks — unless you’re a total wuss. And Tony LaRussa is no wuss.

We’ve all been there. You’re loved one is dropping you off at the airport. You’ve got heavy bags you’re trying to hoist out of a crowded trunk and on to the the curb. You want to say an appropriately affectionate goodbye to your wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend, but the airport cop is urging you to “move it along,” threating you with…with…with WHAT exactly if you don’t get your car away from the curb?

Well, Padres pitcher Jake Peavy decided he wasn’t going to take it.

“Write me a ticket,” he told the cops at the Mobile (AL) Regional Airport. They did him one better. They threw him in jail.

From ESPN.com:

Padres general manager Kevin Towers told The Associated Press he was told that Peavy was headed for a goodwill tour of the Dominican Republic with other major league players when he double-parked to drop off his bags and was told by airport police to move his car.

“The airport police told him he couldn’t park his car there and he said, ‘Write me up a ticket and I’ll pay for it,’” Towers said. “He was arrested.”

A few thoughts on the Peavy arrest:

1. Peavy is my new hero. Way to stand up to the man, Jake.

2. It was 5:20 a.m. at the Mobile, Alabama airport. Was there any traffic for Peavy to obstruct? Not likely.

3. What are odds that Peavy sprinkled in a few F-bombs to his assertion that they could “write him a ticket”? I’d say pretty good.