Oh my God, it’s June. And it’s gorgeous outside. And you’re stuck inside! The cubicle walls are closing in on you! You struggle to breathe! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Don’t despair, gentle reader—just catch hold of this lifeline of links:

The Hardball Times posted a great piece on Johnny Cueto using PITCHf/x data. For those of you involved in fantasy baseball, it’s a must-read. For those of you interested in one of the most intriguing rookie pitchers to come up in a while, it’s also a must-read.

Royals Review has a fantabulous ode to light-hitting first basemen. Just a taste:

He wasn’t strong like an ox
Or fast like a bullet
But he had a nice swing
And a pretty sweet mullet

Now THAT is must-read, my children.

Futility Infielder has an interview with 91-year old Marvin Miller, a former head of the players’ union, who respectfully requests he not be elected into the Hall of Fame, thankyouverymuch.

Stet Sports Blog thinks Ozzie Guillen should be fired.

Someone recommended I read this post at Sports Law Blog about media ethics. Frankly, I found the post a bit disappointing. It concludes, “I suggest the players unions and the leagues find creative ways to ‘deal’ with the media on terms that are mutually beneficial to both the participants and the media — in other words, cooperation and access in exchange for accuracy and privacy.” First, that bargain actually strikes me as the sleazy exchange that too often takes place in pro sports already. And second, privacy and accuracy don’t always go hand in hand. Spoken like someone with more perspective as a player or a lawyer (aha!), rather than someone who has actually tried to practice journalism.

John Smoltz reinvents himself yet again—and Shysterball can’t watch.

Another fun Slate article about baseball cards—specifically, the 1989 Ken Griffey Jr. Upper Deck card and how it compares (or doesn’t) to the T206 Honus Wagner.

The Loss Column prays for the new Orioles uniforms to stay classy, San Diego.

Razzball has an enlightening fantasy baseball glossary.

And Babes Love Baseball notes that in his last start, the Unit has tied the Rocket on the all-time strikeouts list. Who needs HGH when you have….mullet power!

I always like to read new things. Send me recommendations!

Topps has presidential election fever.

Along with stars like Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Howard, the new Topps set includes a dozen cards featuring presidential candidates (six Democrats and six Republicans). Sadly, fans of Chris Dodd, Duncan Hunter, Mike Gravel, and Tom Tancredo will not find their candidate among the set. On average, one candidate card will be found in every ninth pack, which each cost about $3 and contain a dozen baseball cards.

The presidential cards won’t be sold seperately, so you’ll have to spend hundreds of dollars before you put together a complete candidate set. But, dude, it will be so worth it!

Slate had an interesting article on the baseball card economy. Specifically, the bottom has fallen out of it.

If I had to guess, I’d say that I spent a couple thousand bucks and a couple thousand hours compiling my baseball card collection. Now, it appears to have a street value of approximately zero dollars. What happened?

Baseball cards peaked in popularity in the early 1990s. They’ve taken a long slide into irrelevance ever since, last year logging less than a quarter of the sales they did in 1991. Baseball card shops, once roughly 10,000 strong in the United States, have dwindled to about 1,700.

It appears that, indeed, nothing gold can stay.

Did y’all have baseball cards? I never got very into it. (I had a bad experience early on where I mistakenly identified a Roger Clemens card as a Jim Rice card. Don’t ask.) Now I just have three. My Jim Rice card (yes, it really is him this time), my Nomar Garciaparra card (as a prospect), and my Johnny Pesky card (as a manager). What baseball cards do you guys have?