In a bizarre drama, Hideki Matsui announced on Thursday that he has secretly gotten married, but he refuses to divulge the identity of his wife, showing only sketches of her drawn by himself and his brother.

What made the whole situation even more bizarre is that Matsui may have married her in order to win a bet he made with teammates Derek Jeter and Bobby Abreu.

According to the terms of the bet, if Matsui got married first, he would win an undisclosed sum of money from the other two, but since Matsui was considered more likely to get married first, Jeter and Abreu were given handicaps of 1 year and 6 months, respectively.

This means that if Jeter can get married in the next year, or Abreu can get married in the next 6 months, they won’t have to pay anything to Matsui, but both players are already conceding that Matsui has won for sure and say they will pay up now.

According to Jeter, there is “no chance” that he will be married by next March.

But while UmpBumpers are certainly curious enough about the identity of this mystery woman Matsui has married, the far more pressing question has to be, is she a Hot Baseball Wife?

While the sketch above implies a certain level of hotness, if you sort of tilt your head sideways and squint at it funny, more information is needed to return a verdict of “hot” - so let’s go to the evidence…

1. Matsui is a Major League ballplayer, one of Japan’s most instantly recognizable public figures, and has often been referred to as “the most eligible bachelor in Japan.”

This means she is likely to be hot.

2. She is 25 years old and Japanese.

This information increases the likelihood that she is hot.

3. According to Matsui, she quit her job at a reputable sporting goods company about 1 year ago.

Well, having no job at all is not so hot, but then again, gold-diggers are often hot.

4. “Matsui became attracted to her personality as well as her discretion and proposed to her,” sports tabloid Sankei Sports reported.

Hmm. When people start talking about “personality” and “discretion,” actual hotness starts to be questioned.

5. At his press conference Matsui declared, “In short, I fell in love at first sight.”

Well, maybe she was pretty hot after all if Matsui fell in love just by looking at her.

6. “She is reserved and is not so sprightly,” Matsui said. “I think she is a person who is very considerate to others.”

Uh, okay. “Considerate to others” is hot, but “reserved” and “not so sprightly”? That sounds kind of un-hot.

So what do you think? Is this woman likely to be hot? You make the call:

more at twiigs.com…

So my buddy who works at ESPN’s Cold Pizza emailed me this afternoon to tell me that a small plane crashed into a Manhattan apartment building ten blocks from where he lives.

That was about two hours ago. He just called me to say that two people died in the crash and one of them is Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle.

There is a rumor that the other person in the plane was OF Bobby Abreu. But there is absolutely nothing factual to support that. NOTHING.

More to come as this story develops.

UPDATE: ESPN is reporting that Lidle was alone in his plane. That pretty much puts the Bobby Abreu rumor to rest. Three other people reportedly died in the crash, presumably all residents of the building that Lidle crashed into. 

This just in: the Philadelphia Phillies have pulled the trigger on a major deadline deal, sending RF Bobby Abreu and SP Corey Lidle to the Yankees in exchange for three minor leaguers. From ESPN.com:

Stark reported the Yankees will send the Phillies 20-year-old minor-league shortstop C.J. Henry — their No. 1 pick in 2005 — and 27-year-old left-handed reliever Matt Smith. The Phillies will also pick one other minor-league player from an agreed-upon list, while the Yankees will take on responsibility for Abreu and Lidle’s contracts. Abreu is owed $15 million for 2007 alone.

Abreu has a full no-trade clause in his contract and has the right to accept or reject the deal. In the past his agent has said any team trading for Abreu would have to pick up his $16 million option for 2008 to get him to waive the no-trade clause. However, Abreu himself recently has backed off that stance.

Abreu is hitting .277 with 8 home runs and 65 RBI in 99 games. He has a career batting average of .301 with 198 home runs and 841 RBI over 10 seasons.

Lidle, a right-hander, is 8-7 with a 4.74 ERA in 21 starts in 2006. In eight seasons he has a career mark of 78-69 with a 4.54 ERA.

Abreu was in the Phillies’ starting lineup Sunday but was pulled for Shane Victorino 10 minutes before their game with the Florida Marlins.

Some thoughts:

1. Phillies GM Pat Gillick has come a long way from last off-season’s assertion that he would only trade Abreu or LF Pat Burrell for top-of-the-line starting pitching. The Phillies didn’t get any starting pitching in this deal. Actually, they gave up a starting pitcher, though not much of a starting pitcher, in Corey Lidle.

2. So why was Gillick willing to trade Abreu, one of the league’s truly complete players, for just prospects and a 27 year-old reliever? It almost certainly comes down to the Phillies’ need to rebuild their farm system and the need to clear salary cap space so that Gillick can go after the major arms that he so covets.

3. Philly fans never warmed to Abreu. But at the end of the day, we’re talking about a guy with a nack for getting on base, with a cannon for an arm, who hits for power and has good speed. And what that Inquirer story doesn’t mention is that Abreu is third in the NL in OBP. How do you replace that kind of production? You don’t.

4. Abreu is joining a lineup where he’ll be surrounded by Jeter, A-Rod, Giambi, Damon and eventually Matsui and Sheffield. That’s scary. No, really. That’s just plain frightening.

5. Of course, the Yankees still need to address their pitching. Will Corey Lidle be the answer? That’s hard to imagine. But, Lidle can eat innings. And the Yankees will score runs behind him. So he’ll probably earn a few Ws.

Well, rumors have been swirling the last few days about a deal that would send Trot Nixon straight up to the Phillies for Bobby Abreu.

While I’m sure some Phillies fans would be ecstatic to see their team aquire another outfielder who will run face first into walls, I have to say, this would be a *GREAT* trade for the Red Sox - they would get a durable OBP machine in exchange for an injury prone “gamer” who still hasn’t figured out how to hit left-handed pitching (.227 average this year). And I think that Paul did an excellent job putting to rest the idea that Abreu is somehow not a clutch hitter in his comment on this post.

The irony is, Red Sox fans are nearly as in love with “gamers” like Trot as Phillies fans are, and would probably boo Abreu nearly as much. After all, Trot Nixon has somehow acquired that elusive status as a “True Red Sox” (Red Sock?), probably because he has crashed into a certain requisite number of walls in his career.