Recently at UmpBump HQ, there’s been a lot of Boston Red Sox talk. While the Yankees have acquired themselves some big-ticket items and the already-strong Rays made a few smart, affordable moves, the BoSox have been raiding the sale rack. And they’re clearly not done yet — this morning’s announcement was the signing of Takashi Saito, and there’s word they’re also focusing on Miguel Montero. We debated a few of their recent moves, for Josh Bard, Rocco Baldelli, John Smoltz, and Mr. Jamie Kotsay.

Coley: Now the Red Sox have signed Mark Kotsay. How is this guy a fourth (or even fifth!) outfielder? The Sox have insane depth. It really is like they have money to burn.

Paul: the 4th/5th OF thing isn’t so important as promising these guys PAs. Baldelli is always a game-time decision. Plus, Kotsay spells Youk at first, who will also spell Lowell at 3rd. He’ll get a decent amount of playing time. Plus, it seems that Kotsay is a very good defensive firstbaseman and isn’t terrible offensively. I think it’s a good use of 1.5MM.

Coley: That’s what I mean about Boston’s depth. They’ve got Kotsay who can play outfield and 1B. They’ve got Youk who can play 1B and 3B. They’ve got Lugo who can play SS and 2B and Jed Lowrie, who can play almost any infield position. Regarding at bats, I understand why guys want to play for Boston, but I’m surprised a guy like Kotsay wouldn’t go somewhere where he could get more at bats.

Sarah: “They’ve got Lugo who can play SS and 2B” should read: “They’ve got Lugo who sucks no matter where you put him.” (Readers: take one drink.) Kotsay wanted to go somewhere where he could be a regular, I thought he just couldn’t find a taker.

Coley: I understand that Kotsay couldn’t find a starting job, but there surely are teams where he stood a better chance of getting regular playing time, or “burn” as we call it in the industry. The Giants, for example, need an outfielder and a 1B, and Kotsay plays both. Maybe Kotsay’s counting on Lowell being hurt and Youk playing third?

Sarah: Why not? Lowell was hurt for much of last season. And I think if the choice is limited playing time with either the Giants or the Sox, the answer is pretty clear.

Coley: I don’t think it’s clear. Both the Giants and Sox have a shot at making the playoffs this season. Both play in gorgeous stadiums. And the weather and food is better in San Francisco. Plus, I’m sure Kotsay has roots in the Bay area from his days in Oakland.

Paul: Maybe the Manny situation played a role. If Kotsay thought there was a chance that Manny signs in SF, there goes his “burn”.

Sarah: Those are all good points. But maybe he’s just as happy not to move across the country right now, all things being equal. Or maybe he just really likes red Sox fans. :)

Coley: He doesn’t need the warm embrace of Red Sox nation. He’s got Jamie. And I don’t think there’s much chance Manny signs in SF. They don’t have the money.

Paul: I don’t think that Manny’s going to end up in SF either. But it’s all about creating doubt. Say, the Red Sox played that hand – “Manny might go to San Fran. Stay here and you don’t have to worry about it. But you have to decide now.”

Coley: That’s probably roughly what they told Brad Penny, right before they went out and signed John Smoltz.

Paul: I don’t think the Smoltz situation will hurt Penny. (Beckett-Lester-Smoltz (after he recovers) -Matsuzaka-Penny.) It’ll hurt Wake. Now the whole “bringing Josh Bard back” thing makes sense. I was wondering why the Sox would do that when they shipped Bard out a couple of years ago because he couldn’t catch the knuckler.

Sarah: Another big draw for players (maybe in Penny and Baldelli’s case) is Boston’s medical staff. They are known for having basically the best medical staff in MLB. Plus, being in Boston, they have access to some of the best doctors and hospitals in the world. I think the Sox signed Bard because they realized:

a) he was one of the better options (if not the best option) for a backup catcher
b) they have openly said trading him away was a mistake
c) they are not done trying to get a young catcher to replace Tek as the starting guy

Coley: I’m really interested to see if a Buchholz-Saltalamacchia trade happens. The Bard thing confuses me a little, though. If the Sox do land Salty, I don’t see them starting the season with Salty and Bard as the two catchers. First of all, I don’t think either of them can catch Wake. Second, if the Sox land Salty, I think they’ll pair him with a veteran.

Sarah: They did carry three catchers for pretty much the whole second half last year. Besides, anyone who turns out to be surplus can be traded this summer.

Paul: I don’t understand the three catcher thing for an AL team. You’re already down one bench spot for the DH. Why burn another one with the third catcher? Then again, the Red Sox are far smarter than i am.

Coley: If the Sox did carry a third catcher, and it was a veteran, it would have to be somebody who was just happy to be on the roster. I don’t think Tek would sign on just to mentor the kids. Maybe Sal Fasano is available?

Sarah: At this point, if the Sox do get, say, Teagarden for Buchholz, this is how I see it playing out:

• Tek and Tea split time; Tea catches Wake (if Wake even pitches — he was injured for much of ‘08 too)
• When Tek gets injured, Tea takes over; Bard backs him up (Tek plays hurt all the time — probably hurts more than JD Drew ever does, but is made of pig iron, chewing tobacco, and Clint Eastwood’s spit, so he never says anything  — but with a young, talented catcher on the roster, he wouldn’t have to keep sucking it up all the time).
• If it’s Salty and not Tea, the Sox have Salty take over first base now and then; Wakefield retires rather than force Bard, Salty, or Tek to catch him, because Wake always puts the team first. He’s just that kind of guy.

Nick: If the Sox trade for a catcher, they definitely won’t resign Varitek. If the trade happens, one of Bard or the new guy will have to catch Wakefield.

Sarah: Well, yes. That is the unspoken “nuclear option.” Though part of the reason no other team wants to sign him is that they’ll have to give up a draft pick to do so (because the Sox offered him arb and he declined) and so far, no one has wanted to do that. So even if the Sox do get a young catcher in addition to Bard, Varitek still might end up in the Sal Fasano posish of “just wanting to be on the roster.”

What do you guys think? Sox fans, how do you feel about this bevy of small moves compared to New York’s two giant signings? Non-Sox fans, would you want to see your team take a chance on Varitek? What about the Saito move? And we barely touched on Smoltz! Let’s keep the convo going in the comments.

Free coffee and baseball: This is a match made in heaven, from Sarah’s point of view. Two notes: 1. Jose Canseco is worried that he’ll get poisoned via free coffee. 2. Jonathan Papelbon is advertising free coffee (with purchase of either a flatbread sandwich or a pizza) at Dunkin’ Donuts, available the day after the Red Sox win. Sounds a bit complicated to me—and it’s cheap of DD to exclude their own employees. Not to mention that Paps looks like a cheeseball in this photo. Why didn’t they just go with a real post-game shot?

Speed: the Blue Jays are going to be swiping more bags this season. And speaking of speed, I enjoyed watching the A’s relievers throw over to first with Jason Varitek standing on the bag. Yes, let’s make sure the 35-year old catcher doesn’t steal.

Fans: It just goes to show you that the Dodgers really do have a special relationship with their fans, as LA hurler Brad Penny warmed up with a lucky fan yesterday. Across town, Angels owner Arte Moreno bought souvenirs for several fans. And it seems that Baltimore’s long-suffering faithful are finally abandoning their ballclub. Just don’t get mad when the Sox come to town in May and bring their hordes of free-spending fans with them, transforming Camden Yards into Fenway South. The O’s need the revenue.

No-hitters: Yesterday, ESPN.com carried a teaser for the Chicago-Detroit game saying the Dontrelle Willis was throwing a no-no through five innings. To me, that’s just false advertising. Sure, it’s technically accurate to say that D-Train ended up one-hitting the White Sox, but it would perhaps be more descriptive to say that Willis went five innings, while walking seven and striking out none. It was the least dominant no-no bid I’ve ever watched. An outing more worthy of ESPN’s hype would have been Jake Peavy’s two-hit complete game or Manny Parra’s legit seven-strikeout no-hit bid, carried through five innings.

Reds Rookies: On the heels of Johnny Cueto’s stunning debut Thursday, another Reds rookie pitcher impresses today. Edinson Volquez has pitched five innings so far, with seven K’s and one earned run. He’s scattered three hits and two walks.

Sleep: The Red Sox really do need it. Their odyssey from Florida to Japan to California to Toronto is starting to tell, and it’s most readily apparent on defense. Boston has already committed two errors halfway through today’s game. They had two errors yesterday, too, and have racked up a number of sloppy near-errors over the past few games. They have a day off tomorrow and open Fenway Park on Tuesday.

Picking up where my colleague Paul left off, here are some random links – think of them as a pick-me-up:

» That walk-off that Vlade hit last night? Well it meant the world and more to Bootcheck.

» Let’s beat a dead horse. Aaron is bitter because Bonds is chasing his record.

» The O’s are the definition of a c**k-tease.

» What? The Sawks were playin’ the Yanks last night? What?! A-Rod did What?!

» But I thought we liked it when Crazy Lou went at it? What’s a little ump-bumping between friends?

» Last night, in the seventh inning, Brad Penny foresaw his team’s victory in the gooey stuff he had just deposited in the dugout floor before the game. Dodgers won.

» Albert Pujols hit two monster shots that were caught in the grassy knoll in center field (a combined 820 feet) at Minute Maid park. He hit a bomb in his third at-bat that ended up in the right field bleachers.

Edit: Albert Pujols actually hit TWO home runs last night. Oy! (thanx Laura)

For more on Brad Penny’s fly, check out Babes Love Baseball, which broke this story wide open.

Brad Penny on the Block: According to the Rocky Mountain News, “The Dodgers figure to make a major move during spring training, using right-hander Brad Penny as the trade bait.” Penny won 16 games last season and it’s hard to imagine that the Dodgers would consider parting with a pitcher of his talent. Then again, he is a huge jerk.

Penny is one of those pitchers who has never quite seemed to live up to his potential. Last year he started the all-star game, but then fell apart in the second half of the season.

Still, here’s a stat that caught my eye: According to the LA Times, “Penny threw more fastballs 95 mph or faster in 2006 than all other National League starters combined.” Wow. I mean, that’s impressive, right?

Smoltz Overwhelmed by Support: There’s good news if you’re John Smoltz. The bullpen that blew six of your leads last season has been overhauled. But there’s bad news, too. You’re getting a divorce, after 16 years of marriage.

Smoltz won’t give any reasons for his divorce, and the Atlanta media is treating the story with kid gloves. But we at Umpbump have been around long enough (almost one year!) to know that where there’s smoke, there’s fire.  This is the Braves. There’s got to be a Hooters waitress involved somehow.

Liberty, Sweet Liberty: Oh, and while we’re on the subject of the Braves, the team was sold earlier this week, from Time Warner to Liberty Media, pending league approval, of course. The deal amounts to a stock swap and Liberty figures to hang on to the team only long enough to take advantage of a special tax break. Then the company will turn around and sell the team again.

Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Mark Bradley, who as far as we know still has a job, writes this week that the braves’ next owner needs to be a savior, a la Ted Turner. Somebody who will grab the team by the balls and shake things up. From the AJC:

I figure the Braves are no worse, and also no better, today than they were the last few seasons. Time Warner didn’t concern itself about baseball, and Liberty Media won’t, either. Liberty Media cares about its tax break. Liberty Media is a caretaker that won’t care much one way or another what happens at Turner Field.

Bottom line: After waiting forever to see this sale consummated, we’ll all get to twiddle our thumbs while another transaction is brokered a year or two from now. And yes, you’re absolutely right: It gets harder and harder to care about professional sports with every passing day.

I think Bradley ought to be careful what he wishes for. After all, the best owners are the ones who just write the checks and get out of the way, right? Arthur Blank, who owns the Atlanta Falcons, tried to buy the Braves recently. Blank is notoriously hands-on and so far has had zero success with the Atlanta football team. So why let him ruin the baseball team, too?

It’s true that the Braves’ payroll has flatlined under Time Warner and that has hindered the team in its attempts to keep pace with the free-spending Mets and Phillies. But, on the other hand, Time Warner understood the need to let GM John Scheurholz and manager Bobby Cox do their jobs free of interference. And Liberty will, too. Blank? Don’t count on it.