Earlier this week the Arizona Republic’s Paola Boivin made her case that Dan Haren should get the all-star game start instead of Tim Lincecum:

Like Haren, San Francisco’s Lincecum, 25, has pitched brilliantly, but Haren, 28, has a better ERA (2.01 vs. 2.33), better opponent batting average (.219 vs. 270) and better strikeouts-to-walk ratio (8.06 vs. 4.38). Lincecum has a better record (10-2 vs. 9-5) and more strikeouts (149 to 129).

It’s an argument of semantics, a divisive debate about statistics.

After conceding that both pitchers are more or less equally qualified, Boivin proceeded to argue that Haren should get the start because “he’s a reality check” and is unafraid to challenge his teammates when they’re struggling.

But you know what, Paola? Lincecum has an awesome mullet. And when the choice is between two similar pitchers, one who’s a clubhouse leader and one who’s got phenomenal hair that is half ironic fashion statement and half tribute to teammate and 300 game winner Randy Johnson, I’m going with the hair every time.

I’m glad to see Manuel feels the same.

Now, if Haren took a page from teammate Clay Zavada and grew an awesome handle-bar mustache, that might tip the scales a bit.

Look, it’s well known that we here at UmpBump are generally against most types of facial hair.  And aside from the soul destroying soul patch, which has deservedly earned our collective undying enmity, the facial hair that perhaps most affronts our basic sense of human decency is the beardless mustache on a white male.

But then along comes Diamondbacks reliever Clay Zavada. What can you say when a ballplayer, and a reliever no less, so lovingly resurrects the twirly, waxed, handlebar moustache of the great Rollie Fingers? Five or even ten years after Fingers it would have been mere imitation, but 30 years on, when basically nobody else has the balls to put wax to ’stache? That is nothing less than a tribute.

Then you throw in the fact that his name is “Zavada,” which in combination with the curly mustache makes him more likely to be the leader of a family of trapeze artists called the “Flying Zavadas” than appearing on a major league pitching mound.

So, what can you say, really, other than, Awesome!

As the New York Times recently chronicled, Zavada has had quite a trying journey making it to the show. Along the way, he tried all manner of facial hair, including goatee, full-on beard, soul patch, the Casey Blake never-quite-shaven look. But then he finally goes with the Rollie Fingers approach ( having been first inspired to dare the mustache-without-beard look by  minor league teammate and UFH alum Josh Collmenter) and he finally sticks in the Major Leagues.

Coincidence? Obviously not.