It’s a (Dairy Queen) Blizzard of Links on a Hot Summer Tuesday
- Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that all celebrities should release solo music albums. And if your vocal chords can’t soar like Crockett or even Tubbs, do what Dice-K has done and rely on the guitarist from Extreme and the harmonica player from the J. Geils Band named Magic Dick. (NOTE: I have already gone to the webpage to eagerly purchase the item. What I found there was utter disappointment. The milk and honey were sour indeed.)
- The Philadelphia Inquirer’s Bob Ford and his alter-ego, Hans McNaysayer, stage an epic debate as to whether or not Brett Myers should be a starter. In the end, Hans was slain.
- And I believe we have found the winner of the 2007 “Most Offensive Headline” Award.
- Now we know why the Pirates have been so bad for so long. Why do those “fan” people have to keep coming to the games? I mean, come on. 
- I’m sorry, Nationals fans. But your pennant hopes were tied to Christian Guzman’s wrist. And the wrist simply couldn’t bear the burden any longer. In a related story, the Texas man who wanted to be executed while laughing has found exactly the material to get this done – he will simply read the words “Christian Guzman” and “having an All Star season”.
- WARNING: This story may contain a lethal dose of Don Cheadle’s head.
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April 27, 2008 - 8:33 am
The Team that Might Have Been: 2008 Washington Nationals
It probably comes as a surprise to no one that the Washington Nationals have a pretty abominable team once again this season, and that they are tied with the Texas Rangers for the worst record in baseball at 8-17. That is exactly the sort of performance we have come to expect from the Expos/Nats after […]
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The Myth of Bill Buckner
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February 26, 2008 - 9:45 am
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Less than one year ago, Mark Kotsay’s wife Jamie was still a mystery, a legendarily hot baseball wife whose pictures were so rare that her hotness remained largely unknown and unworshipped. But UmpBump.com changed all that last spring when we used our insane ninja skills to bring you the largest collection of Jamie […]
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