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It’s a (Dairy Queen) Blizzard of Links on a Hot Summer Tuesday

Posted by Paul Moro on Tuesday June 26th 2007, 11:23 am - filed in Reading

Genius.- Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that all celebrities should release solo music albums. And if your vocal chords can’t soar like Crockett or even Tubbs, do what Dice-K has done and rely on the guitarist from Extreme and the harmonica player from the J. Geils Band named Magic Dick. (NOTE: I have already gone to the webpage to eagerly purchase the item. What I found there was utter disappointment. The milk and honey were sour indeed.)

- The Philadelphia Inquirer’s Bob Ford and his alter-ego, Hans McNaysayer, stage an epic debate as to whether or not Brett Myers should be a starter. In the end, Hans was slain.

- And I believe we have found the winner of the 2007 “Most Offensive Headline” Award.

- Now we know why the Pirates have been so bad for so long. Why do those “fan” people have to keep coming to the games? I mean, come on. Awesome.

- I’m sorry, Nationals fans. But your pennant hopes were tied to Christian Guzman’s wrist. And the wrist simply couldn’t bear the burden any longer. In a related story, the Texas man who wanted to be executed while laughing has found exactly the material to get this done – he will simply read the words “Christian Guzman” and “having an All Star season”.

- WARNING: This story may contain a lethal dose of Don Cheadle’s head.


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