Drunk, belligerent Al Reyes to arresting officer: “Don’t tase me, bro!” (DRaysBay)

In other booze news, Drunk Jays Fans is having a healthy debate about all those…drunk…Jays…fans. How apt.

El Lefty Malo has an intriguing suggestion for Barry Zito: send him down.

Fire Joe Morgan took their sarcastic snark to new heights yesterday with YouTube. Epic.

I love reading CenterField. This woman has gone above and beyond to bring us the video of Jonathan Papelbon’s asstastic Dunkin Donuts commerical. I have been waiting for this moment all week!

There’s a reason UmpBumper Nick didn’t join our fantasy league. “You guys have to understand, fantasy sports is like crack to me,” he confessed. “Once I start, I can’t stop.” Sound familiar to any of you? Well, here’s a way to save yourself from yourself. (RotoNation)

Edgar Renteria apparently likes getting booed now (”When the fans boo me, that’s real exciting”) reports the Boston Herald. That’s not what he said when he left Boston for the Braves, when he said that an early booing by Red Sox fans caused him to put too much pressure on himself. “I don’t know if [the fans] were looking for 30 homers, like Garciaparra in the past did, but it was crazy,” he kvetched at the time, adding “I had never been booed in my career.” We weren’t looking for thirty homers. We just didn’t want thirty errors.

The Red Sox and the homers they hit, from Me and Pedro. An excellent chuckle (at least for Sox fans).

Since 1956, only 5 pitchers have gone their first three starts without giving up a run. Today, tomorrow, and Sunday, three pitchers will try to match this feat—Ben Sheets, Oliver Perez, and Kyle Lohse. Get the details from Baseball Reference’s Stat of the Day.

Doug Glanville’s writing a guest column for the NYT this season.

Also, there’s a Red Sox t-shirt buried under the new Yankee Stadium.

Thank you, that is all.

Today, Mike Cameron got busted for using banned stimulants. The free agent was suspended for the first 25 games of next season. But Cameron wants you to know he wasn’t using steroids.

“The one thing I wanted to make sure was explained is, no steroids,” Cameron told AM 1090, the Padres’ flagship radio station. “I never took nothing like that before in my life. That would be 50 games, and that would affect me a whole lot more.”

You got that? Mike Cameron doesn’t use steroids. Now booze, that’s another question. Cameron plays drunk all the time. He told us so in Todd Gallagher’s book, Andy Roddick beat me with a frying pan.

“‘Shit, I’ve played drunk.’

“When?

“ ‘New York City.’

“What were the circumstances?

“ ‘I went four for four with two jacks and eight ribbies. I’m not saying that’s the only day I played drunk, but that was the best one.’

So there you go.  Steroids = bad. Long Island iced teas = good. Mike Cameron, you are the man.

Thanks to the good folks at Random House for the tip. 

On the DL, a blog about the sex lives of baseball players, is at it again. The blog is currently featuring a slew of photos of drunk players, out at bars with liquored-up ladies hanging all over them. 

The above photo features Pirates SP Zack Duke, who, it would seem, must have made the mistake of passing out for a few minutes in the company of friends with access to a Sharpie marker.

Awesome.