Not sure if you’ve heard since it went incredibly underreported in the main stream media, but the final game in Yankee Stadium was played this past Sunday. And you know that means, right?

Useless stadium crap/memorabilia for sale on eBay!

First, we have this magnificent looking cup holder. Isn’t she a beaut? And it’s now totally portable! Bring it in the car to use as your seventh cup holder! Bring it to the movies because one cup holder there just won’t do! Put in on a leash and take it for a walk! You and your cup holder will be sure to have some wonderful times together.

And next, we are pleased to offer you what any person would want. DIRT! That’s right, it’s true. You too can own dirt! Just imagine what you can do with the power of dirt. Bury your pet parakeet! Eat it! Or put it on a leash and take it for a walk! Wait, what’s that? You’re not satisfied with this dirt? Well, how about, THIS DIRT? Yes, this dirt is totally different from that dirt. So if you’re looking for dirt, we’ve got two!

And what goes better with dirt than paint? And best of all, it’s blue! And isn’t that really the best color? It’s Cool! BLUE! From the same people that brought you yellow.

Here, we have a napkin. Yes, I know, I can’t believe it either. But we have a napkin! As the seller so correctly notes, it’s a “MUST HAVE ITEM FOR ANY BASEBALL FAN OR COLLECTOR”

And last, but not least, we have a RIPPED STICKER! Have we gone crazy for selling this? We just may have! Now, you can let your guests know to be alert of foul balls when entering your bathroom! Or even your bedroom! How zany! And this ripped sticker can be yours for just $249.95!!! YOWZERS! What a deal!

But don’t wait! Order your cup holder, dirt, paint, more dirt, napkin, and ripped sticker right now! What a country!

Usually, I’d wait until Friday for your procrastinatory reading of the week. But seeing as how many of you will be calling in sick tomorrow (coughcough! hackwheeze! sniffle!), let’s get to those links today.

Babes Love Baseball has the new SI cover and it’s….bizarro!

Walkoff Walk has an amazingly destructive Albert Pujols leaving nothing but carnage in his wake. Gaslamp Ball has the pictures.

Home Run Derby has video of CC Sabathia farting. Hey, we try to put in a little something for everyone in these posts.

Bus Leagues Baseball wants you to help come up with a nickname for Jay Bruce. “The Bruise,” anyone?

Call of the Green Monster has breaking news: already-diminutive Sox infielder Dustin Pedroia seems to be shrinking.

River Ave Blues makes a strong case for using instant replay to get home run calls right, on the heels of yet another blown call. Earlier this week it was Delgado. During the 2007 ALCS, it was Manny, with the 390 foot “single.” Who else has to get robbed just so we can preserve the “human element”?

The Hardball Times takes the media to task for dismissing the Bonds/collusion whispers as conspiracy theories. For the record, I’ve also dismissed those whispers. But this post is the first thing I’ve read that has made me think again.

DRaysBay makes the case that Tampa Bay has the best 1-2 punch in the AL East. In case you’re keeping score at home, there’s only a week left of May and the Rays are just two games out of first place.

Joe Posnanski has another curiously long post touching on, in no particular order, Mike Piazza, Yaz, and whether Pedro Martinez’s 9 perfect innings should count as a perfect game. He notes that after he wrote this column, in which he included Pedro on a list of great no-hitter hurlers, he received a number of emails from people (including yours truly) saying, “Hey, wait a minute! that’s not technically a perfect game!” Joe posits that while that is technically true, he considers it a no-hitter, “record books be damned,” since Pedro pitched 9 perfect innings (he gave up a double in the 10th). I kind of like the idea that we can damn the record books and restore a perfect game to Pedro, a great pitcher who never seems to get any real run support. However, I think this is dangerous—for instance, can we say that Varitek has called five no-nos because he actually called for the right pitch in Curt Schilling’s eight-and-two-thirds bid last year? I mean, Tek was sure Shannon Stewart was swinging. He called for the slider. Schilling was equally sure Stewart was taking. He wanted to throw heat. Schilling threw a fastball, Stewart swung, and there went history. (Incidentally, Pedro also shook off Tek in the 9th inning of his no-hit bid in 2000. Tek called for a curveball. Pedro, like Schilling, insisted on throwing the fastball. He gave up a single.) To me, that game in 2007 and Pedro’s games in 1995 and 2000 are just examples of those bittersweet moments in sports where greatness just slips away. As Schilling put it last year, “I get a big ‘what if’ for the rest of my life.” And so does Pedro. But maybe I’m full of crap. What do you guys think?

And finally, if you’ve got the extra coin, you can get a Marlins World Series ring on ebay for the buy-it-now price of $6,250.00.

Oh, and I’m going to shamelessly plug my own Boston Metro column too. It’s weird, I wrote this post on Lester’s no-hitter first, and then decided I wanted to write a Metro column on it too. It’s damn hard to write about the same thing twice and find something new to say!

What else should I be reading? Email me!

Here’s a made-for-blogs story. Though it has now been removed, the jockstrap of Kevin Youkilis was briefly posted on ebay earlier today. The description, courtesy of Red Sox Monster:

We’re offering this Game Used Athletic Supporter Worn by Red Sox 1st baseman Kevin Youkilis during the Red Sox 2007 World Championship Season. It shows great game use,has “20″ written on it and came directly from the Red Sox Clubhouse. It will come with a COA issued by Sportsworld of Saugus, MA. We’re also listing many other Red Sox Game Used items from the 2007 Season and will combine on s/h for multiple purchases.

Can anyone tell me what the phrase “it shows great game use” means in relation to a jockstrap?

And considering how sweaty Kevin Youkilis gets just standing in the batter’s box, do I even want to know?