This is one in a series of posts where we laud teams’ shrewd offseason acquisitions and pan their terrible trades and silly signings.

Last week, the Astros signed GM Ed Wade to a 2-year contract extension, and owner Drayton McLane was quick to praise Wade:

“Ed is an outstanding baseball man. He’s organized and has surrounded himself with a good, solid staff. Much of the work Ed did in Philadelphia had a lot to do with them becoming a champion. We feel he has us moving in the right direction to be a champion as well.”

Moving in the right direction? That’s a tough sell. The Astros finished 2009 in fifth place, 17 games behind the Cardinals. What’s more, they were incredibly lucky, as the team’s Pythagorean record suggests they should have won 7 fewer games.

Houston is one of the oldest teams in baseball and most of the organization’s best players (Carlos Lee, Roy Oswalt, Lance Berkman) are in decline. What’s more, little help is on the way. Recently, Keith Law ranked the Astros farm system 28th, and only catching prospect Jason Castro is poised to make the jump to the bigs anytime soon.

With vacancies at shortstop and third base and McLane bent on spending less in 2010, what did Wade do this offseason?

He spent big on a reliever, that’s what. Brandon Lyon got a three-year deal worth $15M even though, in seven professional seasons, Lyon has only once been worth $5M. It was a reckless signing, a move that drew criticism from all parts of the interwebs, and for good reason.

Wade did make a few less crazy moves. He signed 3B Pedro Feliz for $4.5M — a lot of money to pay for a third baseman with a bad back who can’t hit, but at least it was only a one-year deal. And Feliz will almost certainly be an improvement over Geoff Blum, who played third for the ‘Stros last season.

For $5.1M, Wade landed Brett Myers, an asshole who gives up way to many home runs. His HR/FB rate in nearly 1,200 innings is 15.5 percent.

Wade traded for Matt Lindstrom, who at $1.6M for one year is a good gamble, even though he sucked last year. If Lindstrom can remember how to limit home runs, he could be a great bargain, and Houston didn’t give up much to get him.

As for the shortstop vacancy, Wade gave the job to slick fielding minor leaguer Tommy Manzella, who has a .321 OBP in five minor league seasons. Manzella is going to have to be awfully good with the glove to justify what most people project will be pretty meager offensive production.

I don’t expect the Astros to be horrible this season. Oswalt and Wandy Rodriguez are a formidable pair atop the rotation (though the rest of the rotation is much less intimidating). And Houston has some power, with Lee, Hunter Pence and Berkman all capable of hitting 30 homers.

But these guys need to learn to take a walk. The Astros were 13th in the NL in OBP last season, and that doesn’t stand to improve much with Manzella replacing Miguel Tejada at short.

Moreover, even if Houston’s aging vets can stay healthy (a big if), the team doesn’t look built to compete with the Cardinals or Cubs. The Reds, too, look better on paper.

Maybe the best thing the Astros did this offseason is finish construction on their Dominican Republic Academy, which will open later this spring. After years of crappy drafts and inattention to international scouting, it seems the Astros are finally starting to wake up to the importance of building from the ground up. Better late than never.

Offseason Grade: D

Acquisitions: SP Brett Myers, 3B Pedro Feliz, RP Brandon Lyon, RP Matt Lindstrom.

Losses: RP Jose Valverde, 3B Brett Boone, RP Doug Brocail, RP LaTroy Hawkins, SS Miguel Tejada, 1B Darin Erstad, C Chris Coste.

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer

C J.R. Towles
1B Lance Berkman
2B Kazuo Matsui
3B Pedro Feliz
SS Tommy Manzella
LF Carlos Lee
CF Michael Bourn
RF Hunter Pence

SP1 Roy Oswalt
SP2 Wandy Rodriguez
SP3 Brett Myers
SP4 Brian Moehler Bud Norris
SP5 Brandon Backe Felipe Paulino/Brian Moehler

CL Brandon Lyon

- Hot Offseason Action Index -

It’s bizarre enough that the Astros actually picked up the 2010 option for pitcher Brian Moehler. But even for GM Ed Wade, this quote is bat-sh%! insane:

(Moehler)’s a solid pitcher whose value doesn’t always show up in the numbers. He keeps you in games and gives you a chance to win.

His “value doesn’t always show up in numbers”? He “gives you a chance to win”?

You know what gives you a chance to win, Ed? Not spending $3 million or giving any innings to a 38-year old pitcher who has had a 5.29 ERA since the start of the 2007 season. That would probably help.

Note: For the record, anyone, even I, could give a team a “chance to win”. It’s only a matter of how much better your chances become.

It’s intervention time, people.

Astros GM Ed Wade is reportedly in talks to trade for Padres starting pitcher Randy Wolf . This is the act of a desperate man. He needs our help.

The problem is…well, there are lots of problems. But first and foremost, Wolf isn’t that good. He’s been added and dropped by every fantasy manager in America this season, because he strikes guys out (108 K’s) but he also get’s knocked around (4.74 ERA).

The Astros are currently in fifth place, 12 games out of first. They’ve given up 55 more runs than they’ve scored this season.

And yet Wade wants to trade for a starting pitcher – and a mediocre starting pitcher at that. Because, in his mind, the Astros are still right in the thick of it.

I’m not sure if this is a lingering effect from getting body slammed by Shawn Chacon, or what, but Wade needs some tough love. The Astros are not going to win the NL Central. The Cubs (who have scored 109 runs more than they’ve given up) are way too hot and way too stacked. Ditto the Brewers and the Cardinals (who both have a run differencial of +30). Even the Reds have a better shot at walking away with the division. Yet you don’t see the Reds trading away prospects for middle of the road starting pitchers.

And let’s not forget that Chicago recently traded for Rich Harden, who is about as dominant as they come (when healthy). The Brewers just added CC Sabathia (who you might remember from last season’s Cy Young Award ceremony). But that’s no big deal, because the Astros are about to add Randy Wolf!

I know Wade has never been the world’s savviest front office guy. But this is crazy even by his standards. Is it possible Wade was given a "win now or else" directive at the beginning of this season? That would explain a lot.

But directive or no directive, Wade needs to know that this season is lost and that the Astros simply don’t have the talent to be competitive anytime soon. Houston needs to rebuild and they need to start now, by trading guys like … well, everybody not named Hunter Pence. Jose Valverde should be the first to go, followed shortly thereafter by Miggy Tejada.

Why can’t you see what is so obvious that even the Reds can see it, Ed? Why can’t you accept that this Astros team simply isn’t very good? What is it going to take for you to throw in the towel?

Ed, we’re your friends and we care about you. And we’re worried.

The Houston Astros are in shambles.

After a hot start, they completely tanked in May and June and are now in a closely-fought battle with the Reds for last place in the 6-team NL Central.

So big changes need to be made.  And they need to start in the front office.

Owner Drayton McLane can’t very well fire himself, but he needs to fire somebody.  With all the indications that manager Cecil Cooper and pitching coach Dewey Robinson have contributed to creating a toxic clubhouse atmosphere, he can start with them, but most of the blame for this putrid team must be laid at the feet of GM Ed Wade.

To be as fair as possible to Wade, he was apparently under strict orders from McLane to field a contender. But what Wade did was take a team in no position to seriously contend, and completely torpedo any vague chance it might have had with a series of atrocious moves.

It’s not like I foresaw this suckage or anything, months ahead of time. Oh wait, I did.

A quick glance at the performance of the guys Wade brought in, compared to the performance of the guys he shipped out, reveals the magnitude of the tranwreck, as all of his major acquisitions have tanked.  Leadoff man Michael Bourn has a .288 on-base percentage and a .600 OPS. Second baseman Kazuo Matsui has an only slightly less abominable .678 OPS. Imported closer Jose Valverde has posted a 4.24 ERA and a 1.42 WHIP. Shawn Chacon added injury to insult by physically assaulting Wade and getting released. And marquee big-name acquisition Miguel Tejada’s .779 OPS is actually 86 points lower than that the main player he was acquired for, Luke Scott.

Meanwhile, Scott has become one of the best hitters on the Orioles, fellow Tejada trade pieces Matt Albers and Dennis Sarfate have been amazing out of the Baltimore bullpen, Chad Qualls leads all Diamondbacks hurlers in relief innings, and Brad Lidge has utterly dominated as the Phillies closer.  Throw in Trever Miller’s decent performance out of the Rays’ pen, and Wade gave away or let go almost an entire major league bullpen which is much better than the one he currently has.

The Astros have no business trying to field a contender this year.  They should be tearing everything down and rebuilding from the ground up.  And that needs to begin with the front office and the coaching staff.  But mostly Ed Wade. Because even if they think they should be trying to contend, Wade is clearly not the man to try that with.

- What They Need Index -

He moved in front of me until we were chest to chest and then he shoved me to the ground. When I attempted to get to my feet, he shoved me a second time.

This was not taken from a script of a Lifetime Original Movie starring Joanna Kerns. These are the words of Astros GM Ed Wade describing his encounter with pitcher Shawn Chacon, who was put on waivers yesterday after admitting to putting his hand around Wade’s throat and throwing him down to the ground.

As a follow-up story, The Houston Chronicle’s Jose de Jesus Ortiz wonders what exactly is going on between the Houston pitchers and their coaches, more specifically, pitching coach Dewey Robinson.

De Jesus Ortiz recounts an incident back on May 17 – facing the Texas Rangers, Astros ace Roy Oswalt complained to Robinson of pain in his groin after completing the sixth inning. Instead of being taken out, Oswalt was asked to give the team one more inning, but instead failed to record an out in the seventh (gave up consecutive hits to Ian Kinsler and Michael Young) before being removed. Following the game, Oswalt told reporters:

“”I told (Manager Cecil Cooper and Robinson) I thought (the 6th inning) was it,” he said after the game. “They wanted me to go one more.”

What makes this strange, however, is that Astros manager Cecil Cooper recounted this very differently:

“He just said he thought he could go back out for the seventh,” Cooper said. “We felt we could get one more out of him.”

Sounds like someone’s lying, or to put it more nicely, someone has “communication problems”. Anyhow, back to de Jesus Ortiz’ column. Cecil Cooper obviously denies that there is a communication problem between the pitching corps and their coach. Oswalt, however, uses words that are probably a little too open to interpretation when talking about his first year manager and pitching coach:

“I won’t say it’s a communication problem. Sometimes we see different from them, and they see it different from us. You still have to play no matter what.”

“I think it’s a lot of (it happening to be the) first time they’ve done this job. You worry about too many things at one time instead of just being worried about being focused on the team and know that everybody here is trying to give 100 percent. Sometimes the game is starting to look a little easier from the sideline than it does on the field. Overall, it’s just trying to get accustomed to the job.”

I can’t say that I blame Oswalt if he’s sounding a bit frustrated. I mean, Dewey Robinson seems to endorse the most useless baseball “skill-enhancing” product I have ever seen. Apparently, pitchers’ in-game performances are elevated by 3 bazillion percent when you begin calling the outside corner of the plate “7″.

Thanks goes out to Zvee Geffen for pointing out the Oswalt-part of the story.

This is one of a series of posts in which belittle each team for their befuddling offseason blunders, and possibly praise them for any prescient pre-season pickups.

The Astros were in deep trouble even before the offseason started. Even before Ed Wade started his wheelings and dealings to drive this once-proud franchise even further into the ground.

I know these posts are supposed to focus on what happened during this current offseason, but I think it would be difficult to understand exactly how fast and how breathtakingly far this organization has fallen without a bit of a recap on the past year.

It is almost hard to remember that just two years ago, the Astros were representing the National League in the World Series, and coming off nearly a decade as perennial contenders in the NL Central, including six playoff appearances in nine years.

But that all changed a year ago when the Astros had just about one of the worst offseasons imaginable. Things began when the Astros lost 2/3 of their rotation by making no effort to re-sign Andy Pettite, and consequently, lost Roger Clemens as well. The Astros attempted to fill this gaping hole with Woody Williams, but grossly overpaid for a 41-year-old pitcher whose numbers had been greatly enhanced by pitching in the best pitcher’s park in baseball for all those years in San Diego.

The Astros also tried to make a splash by signing Carlos Lee, but even at the time, many questioned giving a 6-year contract to one of the worst defensive outfielders in all of baseball who was already in his 30s and already seemed to be having signficant problems with his weight.

But the biggest blow of all was when the Astros inexplicably and bafflingly traded fan favorite centerfielder Willy Taveras as well as their two best pitching prospects, Jason Hirsh and Taylor Buchholz, to the Rockies for pitcher Jason Jennings, who had just one year remaining on his contract.

Not surprisingly, most of us here at UmpBump predicted disaster for the 2007 Astros, and our predictions were borne out in almost every way possible. While Pettite pitched well for the Yankees, and Taveras helped the Rockies reach the World Series, putative no. 2 starter Woody Williams fell off a cliff to an 8-15 record and a 5.27 ERA, Lee gained 30 pounds, won the NL GIDP title, cost the team 16 runs with his defense, and broke shortstop Adam Everett’s leg, and Jennings, who had come at such a high price, never looked right all year, posting an execrable 2-9 record with a 6.45 ERA. Overall, the team stumbled to a 73-89 mark, its worst record in eight years, and both manager Phil Garner and GM Tim Purpura lost their jobs.

Thus the Astros headed into the 2008 offseason in desperate need of a creative reboot. Despite the fact that they were locked into the bad contract with Lee and had a barren farm system, there was some reason for hope that the team might head in a new direction and launch a long awaited youth movement, now that the Craig Biggio farewell tour was over, Biggio was safely retired at least two seasons later than he should have, and the battle cries of “we have to try one more time to win a World Series for poor Craig Biggio” could be laid to rest.

Unfortunately, the man the Astros hired to replace Purpura, former Phillies GM Ed Wade, was simply not the right man to take the Astros in a creative new direction.

To be as fair as is possible to Wade, he was handed a pretty bad hand, given orders from owner Drayton McClain to put a contender on the field rather than rebuild, and handed one of the worst collections of talent in baseball. If we give points for trying hard, we have to admit that Wade has certainly been very active this winter, and has tried his very best within the limits of his understanding to improve the team.

It’s just that pretty much every decision he has made has been questionable. At the very least, it would have been wise for Wade to try his best to hang on to whatever prospects he had left, but instead he completely traded away every last near-major-league-ready prospect or marginal prospect the Astros had left in order to land Miguel Tejada and closer Jose Valverde, completely emptying the cupboard and taking what had been one of the five worst minor-league systems in baseball and turning it into the absolute worst.

Wade compounded mistakes by deciding to keep Tejada at shortstop. This made no sense, since Tejada’s defense is no longer even adequate at shortstop, and the Astros already had one of the best defensive shortstops in baseball firmly under control in Adam Everett. It would have been a perfect chance to shift Tejada to third, where the Astros had a gaping hole in the form of Ty Wigginton, a player who can nominally play any position on the diamond, but only because he is equally terrible at all of them. But instead, Wade decided to keep Tejada at short, and keep Wigginton – a player even the Devil Rays didn’t want. He then actually non-tendered Everett – one of the top two or three defensive shortstops in all of baseball – losing a valuable player that was still under the team’s control and getting nothing in return, while insuring that any gain to the offense from what pop remains in Tejada’s unjuiced bat will be negated by the absolutely abominable left-side defense.

Mistakes continued in other areas as well. While Valverde is a useful player, his acquisition necessitated the trading away of the Astros’ last remaining major-league ready pitching prospect. And the whole reason Wade had needed to get Valverde in the first place was that he had traded away incumbent closer Brad Lidge to the Phillies to get one of his old favorites from his days in Philadelphia, centerfielder Michael Bourn. Although Bourn is an exciting speedster and a well-liked teammate, he is projected by most systems to be a fourth outfielder type at best so one has to wonder if will help the Astros much at all.

Finally, there is the awful signing of Kazuo Matsui to a 3-year, $16.5 million deal. I almost can’t express in words what a terrible idea this was. It reeks of big-name-itis, a desire to get someone, anyone, who might have been affiliated with the Rockies’ magic mojo of last season, and a complete lack of understanding about how ballparks might affect hitting numbers. Given that he was playing half his games in Coors Field last season, Matsui’s batting numbers are truly frightening, and we can expect a severe drop off as he returns to sea level. One wonders if Matsui’s numbers next season would be better than even another season of Craig Biggio, as bad as Biggio was in recent years.

So where do all Ed Wade’s moves this leave the Astros in 2008? In the NL Central cellar, alongside the Pirates, and with a very dim future.

The Astros offense should be okay, but with the loss of Lidge, Chad Qualls, and Dan Wheeler they have not much bullpen after Valverde, they have one of the worst infield defenses in the major leagues, and they have perhaps the worst rotation in all of baseball, despite the presence of ace Roy Oswalt (I mean seriously, Wandy Rodriguez is the number two starter?!?!). You are also talking about a team with the worst farm system in all of baseball, a meddling owner who interferes with his GM, a hide-bound GM stuck in old ways of thinking, and no hope of doing anything at all at any time in the anywhere near future.

In other words, in just two short years the Astros have gone from World Series runners-up to the worst organization in all of baseball.

Offseason Grade: D

Additions: SS Miguel Tejada, CL Jose Valverde, 2B Kazuo Matsui, CF Michael Bourn, CF Darin Erstad, OF Jose Cruz Jr., RHP Shawn Chacon, UT Geoff Blum, RHP Oscar Villareal, RHP Doug Brocail, RHP Geoff Geary, RHP Chad Paronto, OF Reggie Abercrombie

Losses: 2B Craig Biggio, RHP Brad Lidge, SS Adam Everett, RHP Chad Qualls, 3B Mike Lamb, OF Luke Scott, 2B Chris Burke, UT Eric Bruntlett, LHP Trever Miller, RHP Matt Albers,

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer:

CF Michael Bourn – .277/.348/.378, 18 SB

2B Kaz Matsui – .288/.342/.405, 32 SB

SS Miguel Tejada – .296/.357/.442, 18 HR

1B Lance Berkman – .278/.386/.510, 34 HR

LF Carlos Lee – .303/.354/.528, 32 HR

RF Hunter Pence – .322/.360/.539, 17 HR

3B Ty Wigginton – .278/.333/.459, 22 HR

C J.R. Towles – .375/.432/.575, 14 ML games

RHP Roy Oswalt – 14-7, 3.18

LHP Wandy Rodriguez – 9-13, 4.58

RHP Brandon Backe – 3-1, 3.77

RHP Woody Williams – 8-15, 5.27

RHP Chris Sampson – 7-8, 4.59

CL Jose Valverde – 47 SV, 2.66

-Hot Offseason Action Index-

Houston GM Ed Wade has gotten a lotta crap for the moves he’s made this offseason. Nick, who is not prone to hyperbole, just wrote a post describing Wade’s “overwhelming incompetence.” And his is a pretty popular sentiment on the internets.

I’ve defended Wade in the past. But not today. I think his moves this offseason have been, at best, shortsighted. But I will point out this simple fact: the Astros finished 2007 in fourth place. And they’ll enter 2008 with a real shot to win the NL Central.

Now, granted, the Astros playoff chances could only exist in the NL Central, which is a piss-poor division indeed. But we can’t blame Ed Wade for that, can we? Ok, maybe we can blame him for one-sixth of the division’s crapiness. But I digress.

The Astros ended the offseason with an infield lineup that included Adam Everett, Ty Wigginton, and Mark Loretta. Ewwwwwwwwww. They’ll presumably go into 2008 with an infield that still has Wigginton, but now boasts Miguel Tejada and Kaz Matsui, not to mention RBI machine Lance Berkman. That’s a solid group, at least offensively.

The outfield corners will be manned by Hunter Pence and Carlos Lee, both potential all-stars. And Michael Bourn, acquired in a trade with the Phillies, should be, at the very least, a capable defensive player in center and could develop into a threat at the top of the lineup. Plus the team will have Geoff Blum coming off the bench. And now they’ve got a dominant closer to finish games with a flourish.

Now, I know, I know, the Astros still don’t seem to have enough pitching —  though the way Wade is going, nobody would be surprised if he signed a big name in the next few days (Carlos Silva?) or traded the team’s next five first round draft picks for Erik Bedard.

But even if Wade does nothing, and Houston enters 2008 with a rotation consisting of Roy Oswalt and a bunch of question marks, he has succeeded in putting together a lineup that could be successful and surely will be entertaining. And, if you’re an Astros fan coming off a season that offered little excitement beyond the Craig Biggio farewell tour, that probably sounds pretty good right now.

Josh Byrnes of the Diamondbacks is quickly establishing his credentials as the best general manager in the game today. Has this guy made a bad move yet since he took over as D-Backs GM after the 2005 season?

First, he deserves huge credit for putting his faith in his highly talented young prospects last year rather than signing at least a few big-name “experienced veterans” like almost every other GM would have done if handed a similar squad so inexperienced across the board.

This put the D-Backs in a position to win last year, and while it is true that the D-Backs were a “fluke” last year in terms of run differential, it was Byrnes who got them to a place where they could be such a fluke if a few bounces went there way, and this in only his second full season as GM after taking over a team that was one of the worst in baseball only a few years prior.

Now comes the news that Byrnes has just pulled off two stunning trades that markedly and clearly improve his team, acquiring bonified ace Dan Haren from the A’s for six prospects and getting Chris Burke, Chad Qualls, and triple-A starting pitcher Juan Gutierrez from the Astros for closer Jose Valverde.

I am especially shocked by the Dan Haren trade, because it was made with Billy Beane, and normally we are used to seeing Beane be the one fleecing the other team. In Beane’s defense, all six players can be reasonably projected to become major leaguers someday, but all six are grade-B prospects who are projected to be fourth starter or fourth outfielder types.

So while Beane did acquire a significant quantity of talent for his ace, and can be credited with spreading out his risk over 6 prospects rather than getting one mega-prospect who might get hurt or flame out while taking a bunch of flyers on a bunch of grade-C players, I’m just surprised that Beane felt this was the absolute max he could get for Dan Haren.

I mean, this is Dan Haren! The one player I would actually have rather my team traded for more than Johan Santana. Consider that Dan Haren 15-9 with a 3.07 ERA last hear and hurled 222.2 innings. Those are numbers you can put right up there with Santana’s and moving that guy into a much weaker league and a much weaker division is just downright scary.

But most of all, whereas Santana is going to be a free agent, and is due for a ginormous payout, Dan Haren is locked up for the next three full seasons, at the ridiculously reasonable price of just over $5 million per season!

So with Santana attracting big-league names like Jacoby Ellsbury, Jon Lester, Phil Hughes, and Melky Cabrerra as possible return values, it amazes me that in exchange for Dan Haren Billy Beane didn’t even get one name that anyone has ever heard of, and Josh Byrnes didn’t even have to give up one player that had any chance of appearing on the D-Backs’ major league roster next season.

I am almost as impressed by the trade Byrnes pulled off with the Astros, who continue to get themselves torn to shreds by Ed Wade’s overwhelming incompetence. In this case, Byrnes shrewdly leveraged the overvalued stat of the Save to sell Valverde and his 47 saves to Houston for two very useful major league players and a 24-year old pitching prospect already on the verge of contributing in the big leagues.

Burke had a down year last season, but is just hitting his peak years at age 27 and still has the potential to become the player the Astros thought could replace Craig Biggio at second base, and Gutierrez was ranked by Baseball America as the #4 prospect in the Astros system last season, praised for his plus fastball and promising changeup.

But the key to this deal is Qualls. Byrnes is clearly gambling that Qualls is the equal, or near equal of Valverde, only minus the bling of a 40-save season to his name. Qualls has quietly racked up a fine career ERA of 3.39 in 284 major-league innings while pitching half his games in a hitter’s ballpark, and had outstanding strikeout and groundball rates last season, which bodes well for his future.

But even more importantly, Qualls has three years left before free agency to Valverde’s two, so Qualls could make this trade even out all by himself, even if he only provided 70 percent of the value that Valverde does per season over the next three years.

With the Padres and Dodgers treading water and the Giants and Rockies backsliding, I think these trades have to instantly catapult the D-Backs to the status of favorites in the NL West by a large margin. The D-Backs’ pitching was already pretty strong last season, but now they have a second ace to pair with Brandon Webb, giving them a one-two punch similar to the one they had with Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling back when they won it all in 2001.

And with a team full of still developing young players with big upside up and down the lineup, Byrnes appears to be building the Diamondbacks into a perennial powerhouse that will put together strong playoff runs for years to come.