Unfortunately, I couldn’t be in Philly last night for the big game. Couldn’t pound a Yuengling in the parking lot and then smash the bottle on the ground. Couldn’t help tip over a car. And I wasn’t the only one. Lots of Philly fans are spread out all over the world.

My friend Alicia, who is working for the Clinton Foundation in Cambodia this year, sent me this email this morning:

I found myself drinking the blood of snakes this afternoon, in honor
of the glory of the Phils.

I sat at a table on the Mekong River in Neak Loeung Operational
District, Prey Veng Province, alongside local and national health
administrators who don’t know ‘first base’ from ’short-stop’ from
‘home plate’, and announced our Great City’s Great Triumph.  Shortly
after the meal began, I excitedly proclaimed that “Today is a special
day for my people,” — this is how people talk here — and explained
that the World Series may not actually measure baseball greatness in
all the world, but its importance is of cosmic proportions to
Americans.  Well, it doesn’t take much to animate a Cambodian.  And I
guess wee needed SUMTHIN to cheer … the Phillies would have to do.
And ‘do’ they did.

We drank … and drank.  Round after round.  Fresh snake blood mixed
with a splash of Johnny Walker Black Label whiskey.  I got drunk on
the stuff, and on the hilarity of the scene.  Explaining baseball to
non-English speakers in broken Khmer and through a translator is a
lost cause: “Great American Past-time” doesn’t translate.

The head of the national HIV/AIDS program repeatedly
raised his glass to honor ‘my people’, I was thinking, “I’ll remember
this forever.”

Here’s to the Phils!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s to our people, wherever they may be!

A friend of mine–a Red Sox fan friend–just texted me from the Sox-Angels game in Anaheim. How did he score tickets to ALDS Game 1, you might ask yourself? Good question.

Well, it turns out that he walked up to the ticket window….

And paid them 40 bucks….

Two hours before game time.

Bite me.

Drunk, belligerent Al Reyes to arresting officer: “Don’t tase me, bro!” (DRaysBay)

In other booze news, Drunk Jays Fans is having a healthy debate about all those…drunk…Jays…fans. How apt.

El Lefty Malo has an intriguing suggestion for Barry Zito: send him down.

Fire Joe Morgan took their sarcastic snark to new heights yesterday with YouTube. Epic.

I love reading CenterField. This woman has gone above and beyond to bring us the video of Jonathan Papelbon’s asstastic Dunkin Donuts commerical. I have been waiting for this moment all week!

There’s a reason UmpBumper Nick didn’t join our fantasy league. “You guys have to understand, fantasy sports is like crack to me,” he confessed. “Once I start, I can’t stop.” Sound familiar to any of you? Well, here’s a way to save yourself from yourself. (RotoNation)

Edgar Renteria apparently likes getting booed now (”When the fans boo me, that’s real exciting”) reports the Boston Herald. That’s not what he said when he left Boston for the Braves, when he said that an early booing by Red Sox fans caused him to put too much pressure on himself. “I don’t know if [the fans] were looking for 30 homers, like Garciaparra in the past did, but it was crazy,” he kvetched at the time, adding “I had never been booed in my career.” We weren’t looking for thirty homers. We just didn’t want thirty errors.

The Red Sox and the homers they hit, from Me and Pedro. An excellent chuckle (at least for Sox fans).

Since 1956, only 5 pitchers have gone their first three starts without giving up a run. Today, tomorrow, and Sunday, three pitchers will try to match this feat—Ben Sheets, Oliver Perez, and Kyle Lohse. Get the details from Baseball Reference’s Stat of the Day.

Doug Glanville’s writing a guest column for the NYT this season.

Also, there’s a Red Sox t-shirt buried under the new Yankee Stadium.

Thank you, that is all.

Baseball season is underway in Philadelphia. How do you know it is?

From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

It was dollar-dog night, and fans at the sold-out park – presumably not fervent Nationals fans fired up about their city’s first 3-0 start since 1951 – threw hot dogs, drinks and bottles onto the field afterward.

Debris nearly struck reliever Ryan Madson as he entered the dugout.

It’s like Groundhog Day in Philly. Every year, the team gets off to a terrible start. And every year, they spend the rest of the season trying to climb out of a hole. Last year, they managed to overcome their deficit — with a lot of help from the Mets. A lot of help.

So far this season, the Phils have looked hell-bent on living up to all of our greatest fears. Brett Myers was bad in his first start. Ryan Howard is swinging (and missing) violently. Tom Gordon got lit up on opening day. Pedro Feliz looks lost at the plate (though he did have the Phils’ only hit last night).

I just don’t get why the Phillies can’t get off to a good start. Even the Giants have a win this season! What have Phillies fans done to deserve this shoddy treatment?

Oh, right.