Rookies. So young and innocent. So naive and trusting. So….so….skinny.

Which of these tender young morsels showed the most promise this year? Which of them is most likely to end up, 15 years down the line, with bum knees, a bad back, an HGH-bloated jaw, a contract his team wants to dump, tobacco-stained teeth, kids who barely know his name, two ex-wives who both hate him, tens of millions of dollars, three SI covers, and a venereal disease he picked up on a rehab assignment in Florida after his second wrist surgery?

In the National League, there are many good candidates. I have to start by mentioning Cla Meredith. When the Sox dumped Meredith (sending him to the Padres with Josh Bard in order to reacquire knuckler-catching-specialist Doug Mirabelli) Boston was elated. This trade ended up being a bad move for a number of reasons (not least because the Red Sox knuckleballer Tim Wakefield spent a good chunk of time on the DL, rendering Mirabelli’s defensive skills somewhat extraneous, and because Jason Varitek, playing hurt and then missing a lot of time, had a lousy year—and looking back on it, wouldn’t you have rather just stuck with Bard (.333) no matter how many passed balls he had?) but a big reason is that Cla recovered from his previous struggles to pitch the way Boston had initially hoped he would. In 50 and two-thirds innings of relief, he struck out 37, walked just 6, and racked up 5 wins (and only one loss). How did he do it? Well, his 1.07 ERA and .170 BAA didn’t hurt. And looking back at the Red Sox’ season (sorry, I can’t help it) given that two of their biggest problems were filling the spot behind the dish and bridging the gap between the starting pitcher and Jonathan Papelbon (a role formerly filled by Mike Timlin, the ghost of whom was not enough this year), if the Red Sox had kept ahold of Bard and Meredith, we could be gearing up for the playoffs tonight instead of sitting at home watching Netflix movies. So for his great performance in relief this year, Meredith is my No. 3 ROY pick.

Hanley Ramirez is even more impressive. He’s got good offensive numbers for a shortstop (.292/59 RBI/17 HR, along with 46 doubles and 11 triples). But what impresses me even more is that he racked up almost the same number of walks (56) and stolen bases (51). So why am I not giving him my ROY award? Too many errors. A whopping 26, putting him third-from-last among qualified NL shortstops. Yikes. (In fairness, his range factor puts him in the top half of that group, but still.) So Hanley is my runner-up.

For my top NL ROY pick, I’m going to go with Ryan Zimmerman. Yes, he’s got those 110 RBIs and 20 homers (both nice, round numbers). But he also has 47 doubles and 61 walks. Good show, kid. Yes, he made 15 errors on the season down there at the hot corner, but in the NL that’s good enough to put him in a three-way tie for best fielding percentage. It’s a tough call, but Zimmerman edges out Ramirez based on defense.

Now for the AL. Francisco Liriano was quite the stud for the Twins in the first half, but his arm gave out down the stretch. I know that’s not uncommon for a rookie pitcher, but still. This is the bigs, and ROY is a big-league award. No doubt Liriano will come back next year, stronger and tougher, and be as lights-out as before. His 12-3 record and 2.16 ERA are smoking, and even though his teammates have apparently nicknamed him “Franchise,” he didn’t go the full stretch and so I just can’t give him my ROY.

The same stands, sadly, for Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon. Pap won over Beantown with his fire, consistency, and jaw-dropping ERA (which never rose above 1.00 all season). He even gave rise to the best new turn-of-phrase in sportswriting this year. In short, he’s the hotness. And maybe he would have pitched through his transient subluxation had the Sox stayed in contention. But as it is, they shut him down about a month ago.

There’s a case to be made for Nick Markakis, the bedimpled Orioles rightfielder, who’s already batting third in the birds’ lineup. Unlike some of the other newbs we’ve been discussing here on UmpBump, this is a guy who has only gotten better as the season has gone on, hitting .365 in the second half. If I were a GM and I had to, say, find a promising young rightfielder to replace an old, injury-prone free-agent rightfielder, he’d be right at the top of my list (not that the O’s are going to let him get away). But ROY winner? Not this year. Not even with my weakness for all things tall, dark, and handsome. Sorry, Dimples.

I’ll give Pap my third place vote over Liriano (but just by a hair) and Markakis my number two slot, but first place has to go to—surprise surprise—Justin Verlander. Much of the Tigers’ surprising success this year can be laid at his feet (17 wins and a solid 3.63 ERA). And unlike the other young guns on the list, he hasn’t flagged as the season’s gone on. That makes him my AL Rookie of the Year.

The Rookie of the Year award can be a harbinger of great things to come (Ryan Howard) or of stunning, dramatic collapse (Eric Hinske). It’s hard to imagine that this year’s candidates have anything other than great careers ahead of them. But then again, somebody probably said that about Jerome Walton, too.

Without further ado, the picks.

The NL

3. Dan Uggla (.281/.337/.474, 26 HR, 89 RBI)
2. Ryan Zimmerman (.289/.354/.475, 20 HR, 109 RBI)
1. Hanley Ramirez (.292/.353/.481, 17 HR, 51 SB)

Dan Uggla was an all-star this season and a legit slugger in the middle of the Marlins lineup. He was also solid defensively and, with the exception of Chase Utley, was probably the league’s best 2B. But he wasn’t this year’s best rookie.

It’s tempting to give the ROTY to Ryan Zimmerman in anticipation of the career he’s going to have, just as it’s tempting to give Derek Jeter the MVP award as a sort of career achievement award. Zimmerman’s got to be the surest thing among all of the talented rookies in the class of 2006. But he wasn’t this year’s best rookie, either.

Hanley Ramirez’s VORP (value over replacement player) this season was 50.7. The rookie with the next highest VORP was Uggla, at 38.6. In other words, it wasn’t even close. Ramirez hit for average, played above average defense and stole an obscene number of bases. He’s a game-changing player. And before all is said and done he’s going to be the biggest reason we’ll look back and say, “Man, the Red Sox got hosed in the Josh Beckett trade!” His biggest shortcoming is that he strikes out too much, 150 times this season, or around 25 percent of the time. But the long and short for Hanley is this: if he gets on base, he’s dangerous. And he gets on base a lot.

The AL

3. Justin Verlander (17-9, 3.63 ERA, 186 IP)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (35 SV, 0.92 ERA, 75K/68.1IP)
1. Francisco Liriano (12-3, 2.16 ERA, 1.00 WHIP, 121 IP)

How do you know there are a lot of great rookie pitchers in the American League? When the top three candidates for AL Rookie of the Year are all pitchers, that’s how. And Jered Weaver, if he had gotten a few more starts, could have easily made this list.

Justin Verlander was the Tigers’ ace this season, stepping up when others faltered and leading Detroit to its first playoff appearance since…ummm…I have no idea when. But it’s been a long time.

Jonathan Papelbon had an ERA of less than one. I mean, really, how do you have an ERA under one and not win a major award?

I’ll tell you how. You go head to head with Francisco Liriano, who, along with Johan Santana, strapped the Twins on his back and led them to the post season. Liriano got hurt late in the season, but when he was healthy, he was untouchable. And there is plenty of precedent for giving the ROTY to a rookie who doesn’t play a full season. Ryan Howard won last season, even though he only played in 88 games. Liriano was dominant as a reliever early in the season and he was dominant as a starter in the second half. And he’s your 2006 AL Rookie of the Year.

It was the wise Gary Payton who once dubbed a young rook by the name of Steve Francis, a naïve mind of sorts, a “Punk-ass bitch” for dissin’ the then Vancouver Grizzlies and forcing a trade to the Houston Rockets – at draft night.

But this is UmpBump; and before I stray too far away from the point (because, frankly, I had to do serious homework for this one) I shall nominate my Rookie of the Year candidates and other Punk-Ass Rookie Bitches – otherwise referred to as PARBs.

Instead of concentrating solely on stats and numbers, I decided to look for names that, during the course of the season, caught my eye for having a certain level of maturity and consistency.
Players like Matt Cain, the Giants’ rookie starter, who came close to a no-hitter, but sucked balls for my Fantasy team when I added him soon after, will not qualify for my list.

I’ll briefly elaborate on the PARBs that I think deserve some recognition for their skills; but before that, here’s who I think will win the ROY award in each League.

AL

Justin Verlander, SP Detroit Tigers

Verlander was unhittable during the first half of the season. A starter with a 95+ mph fastball is no joke. Being a rook, his arm fatigued towards the end, but his 17 wins will sure get him the ROY award.

NL

Hanley Ramirez, SS Florida Marlins

So apparently, the entire Marlins’ infielder squad could receive the ROY award as a team, since they are among the top rookies in hitting. I had to pick one of ‘em, and what the hell, I went with Ramirez because he has the higherst BA amongst NL rookies (AVG .294 | HR 17 | RBI 59 | OBP .355 | SLG .485 ). I just as well could’ve picked Dan Uggla (AVG .282 | HR 26 | RBI 89 | OBP .338 | SLG .478).

Now here are who I think are other notable rooks:

• Joel Zumaya, RP Detroit Tigers
(right)

Buster Olney had a ho-hum feature for ESPN.com Insiders about the 20 best weapons in the post-season (I mean, c’mon, Chase Utley’s energy?!?), but he did strike a chord with Joel Zumaya’s fastball. The kid has a flame tattooed around his glove hand, so when he’s ready to delivery his 100-mph fastball, it looks as if he garners his strength from the flames around his glove. Nice.

He also leads the league in Holds with 29 (a semi dubious stat; but quantifiable none-the-less; and he’s tied for second in innings pitched with 79.0 (before Friday’s game).

It was common knowledge towards the end of the season that if a Tiger’s starting arm faltered, they only had to stay in the game until Zumaya was summoned.

• Melky Cabrera, OF New York Yankees

Suuuuure, tha Yankees are done this year, suuure with Matsui an’ Sheff done fo’ da year you can almost bet them’ Sawks will win the division.

And then The Milk Man came on the scene. Not only did Cabrera fill in nicely for Matsui, the Yankees had a hint of a Left-fielder controversy when Matsui was able to return. While his numbers were not astronomical (.279, 7 hr, 50 rbi, 451 ab, unlike, say Ryan Howard); his contribution was more than enough to solidify the Yanks’ conquest of the AL East crown once again.

• Anibal Sanchez, SP Florida Marlins

Well I gotta include the kid, the no-hitter kid; how could I not? His numbers are decent (10-3 with 114.1 IP and 18 starts), but remember, we’re looking at the bigger picture here. What rooks are going to have the composure to carry their careers into the next level. Besides, his middle name can only help.

Honorable mention: Francisco Liriano SP Minnesota Twins, Prince Fielder 1B Milwaukee Brewers, Ryan Zimmerman 3B Washington Nationals.

Last week, we here at umpbump gave you our hard-hitting MVP picks, so this week, we’ve decided to unveil our picks for NL and AL Rookie of the Year picks. I’ll get things started today, with picks from Alejandro, Coley, and Sarah to follow over the weekend.

National League

3. Ryan Zimmerman (.289/.354/.475, 20 HR, 109 RBI)
2. Hanley Ramirez (.292/.353/.481, 17 HR, 51 SB)
1. Josh Willingham (.277/.358/.494, 25 HR, 78 RBI)

I’m as surprised as anyone that I ended up picking two Florida Marlins as my top two picks. The Rookie of the Year race in the NL this year was bursting with potential contenders, and it was up and down all year, and I really thought someone like Andre Either, Prince Fielder, or Ryan Zimmerman would come out on top, but now here we are with four games left to play, and it seems clear that Josh Willingham was the best young rookie on the Senior Circuit in 2006.

True, Zimmerman’s RBI total is impressive, but as we know, RBI is the mainstream stat least indicative of a player’s actual performance. Meanwhile, Willingham bested Zimmerman in both OBP and SLG, and hit five more homers than Zimmerman in more than 100 fewer at bats.

Hanley Ramirez proved he is a complete player this season, showing the ability to hit for average and power, and steal loads of bases, but Ramirez’s totals were bolstered by the numerous extra at bats he had as a leadoff batter. Meanwhile, Willingham showed the killer combination of both power and patience at the plate, leading all batting-title qualified rookies in OPS and establishing himself as a legitimate heart-of-the-order threat down the stretch for the Marlins.

American League

3. Kenji Johjima (.291/.334/.455, 18 HR, 76 RBI)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (35 SV, 0.92 ERA, 75K/68.1IP)
1. Justin Verlander (17-9, 3.63 ERA, 186 IP)

Orioles outfielder Nick Markakis and Mariners catcher Kenji Johjima put up remarkably similar numbers in this year, but Johjima gets the nod for third place because he plays catcher.

Jonathan Papelbon was an absolute revelation as the closer for the Red Sox in the first half of the season, but faded down the stretch and ultimately had to be shelved due to an impingement in his shoulder. Still, his first half performance was so dazzling, it was enough to earn him second place on my ROY ballot.

The clear winner in the American League has to be Justin Verlander. Not only did he provide nearly 200 IP and 17 wins to his team, but he also served as de facto staff ace for much of the year when Kenny Rogers was struggling, and helped lead the Tigers to their first pennant since god knows when. Basically he pitched like a Cy Young candidate in his rookie season.

It’s too bad Francisco Liriano got hurt and the Angels ridiculously sent Jared Weaver down to the minors for five starts. Otherwise, the AL top three would have almost certainly been all starting pitchers.