The Collected Works of Manny Ramirez: 500th Homer Commemorative Edition

Posted by Sarah Green on Saturday May 31st 2008, 10:36 pm - filed in Diamond cuts, News reel

Manny Ramirez belted his 500th career home run tonight in Baltimore. (Why didn’t he do it on the West Coast road trip? “It’s too late, nobody would see it.” So true.) To celebrate the occasion, UmpBump presents its third edition of Manny Being Poetic, in which we take Manny’s quotes and rearrange them into the little philosophic bits of poetry we know they really are. Previous editions are here and here. Congratulations, Manny!

499 (That One)

Nobody cares

About that one.

That one’s

Over.

Everybody will forget

About that one.

Runner Thrown Out at Third

That guy probably

Didn’t see the video.

I’ve got a cannon.

Ode to Practice

I.

I invented

That throw that I do.

I don’t know how it started,

It just happened.

Like three years ago.

II.

I have to practice it,

Though.

I started to learn

How to throw it…but

I need to practice it

More.

III.

I haven’t practiced it

At all this year.

But I’ve got it.

High Five

I think that’s how you get your All-Star vote.

I’m pretty sure that guy’s going to vote for me.

One at a time–

That’s how it’s going to happen.

To Err is Human

I thought the ball was

Not going to travel that

far, so I missed it.

Tossed (The Angry Hamstring)

I was

A little mad.

My hamstring was

A little sore.

And in those situations,

You have to react.


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