Metsblog.com is reporting that the Mets and Braves are swapping outfielders. Jeff Francoeur is Queens-bound while Ryan Church is heading down to Dixie.

Now, there aren’t too many times when I’ve lost my head while writing a post. But let’s add this one to that short list.

HOW IN HOLY HELL IS THIS GOING TO MAKE THE TEAM BETTER??????????????

HOW IS JEFF FRANCOEUR BETTER THAN RYAN CHURCH? IN WHAT WAY? FRENCHY’S OBP? IT’S AT .282. TWO-FREAKING-EIGHTY-FREAKING-TWO. HE’S OPS-ING .634. AS A CORNER OUTFIELDER. DEFENSE? CHURCH IS BETTER. POWER? CHURCH HAS A HIGHER SLUGGING. SIMPLY PUT, JEFF FRANCOEUR IS ONE OF THE WORST PLAYERS IN BASEBALL.

IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS JEFF FRANCOEUR BETTER THAN RYAN CHURCH? AND WHY WOULD THE METS MAKE THIS TRADE??? WHY??????????

…

Dear God, I am not a man of faith. But I pray that this is a precursor to another trade. Because quite frankly, there’s no other possible reason other than pure idiocy as to why any GM would make this deal. IT MAKES ZERO SENSE. NONE.

I’ve been reading a lot of AJC Braves blogger David O’Brien lately. Today he interviews Braves reliever Will Ohman and he asks him if manager Bobby Cox should be blamed for the Braves struggles this season.

Here is Ohman’s predictable response:

“I think that blame is placed at the feet of the manager far too many times. He’s writing out the lineup card, but we’re the ones playing the game.

…

“Unfortunately, we haven’t gotten the timely hit, or the timely out, made the pitch — whatever the case may be, you can generally go to one play per game that really turns the tide, and unfortunately we just haven’t been able to put that together.”

It’s not often that players throw their manager under the bus, and few managers are more beloved than Cox. So Ohman’s response isn’t too surprising.

But I think Cox should get some of the blame because, as Ohman points out, he is filling out the lineup cards. And he’s doing a crappy job of it. Consider what O’Brien wrote in the comments section of another recent blog post:

By David O’Brien

Consider this stat: With the bases loaded, the Braves are third in the NL with a .282 average (29-for-103) and fourth in OBP (.307). But Francoeur is 3-for-22, twice as many at-bats with bases loaded as any other Braves player. Without his numbers, the rest of the team’s average with bases loaded is .321.

The NL leader, by the way, is the Dodgers at .308.

The Braves’ individual leaders are Chipper at .750 (3-for-4, one walk), Tex at .500 (5-for-10), Kelly at .500 (2-for-4) and McCann at .455 (5-for-11). Chipper has 17 fewer at-bats with bases loaded than Francoeur does, and that Tex and Mac combined have one fewer bases-loaded at-bat than Francoeur. Yes, continuing to bat him fifth or sixth has been a costly mistake.

Hey Dave, don’t forget that with runners in scoring position, Francoeur is hitting .193. Ugh.

The Braves’ biggest problem this year has been an inability to win close games. This, despite the fact that the Braves pitching staff has been the best in the league. If Cox hadn’t insisted on batting Francoeur fifth or sixth all year, how many more runs would the Braves have scored? And how many victories in one-run games would that have translated into?

Today AJC blogmaster and Braves beat writer David O’Brien calls out Teixeira for a lack of clutchness. From Braves Blog:

Is Teixeira, with his Gold Glove-level defense and likely .290-30-120 to .310-45-130 offensive range for many years to come, worth $20 mill a season? I’d say only to a team that has a huge payroll, at least $150 mill or so. Not to a team with a $100 mill payroll, because while he piles up stats, he’s not a player, at least from what I’ve seen, who puts a team on his back and delivers big hits when the team needs it most.

Say, for instance, during the first six weeks of this season, when the Braves were dealing with a slew of injuries and Chipper Jones was carrying the offense with help from either Brian McCann or Yunel Escobar, but not much from Tex.

Slow-starter or not (and he’s a slow-starter, every season), the Braves needed to count on him for power and RBIs, and didn’t get it on a regular basis until about two months into the season, when they were already back in the standings.

Where were you when we needed you, Tex? Sure, you were playing Gold Glove-level defense and you had a respectable OBP of .359, but where was the power? Where were the RBIs? Six weeks into the season, you had five homers and 21 RBIs. Not good enough! Sure, we knew you were a slow starter when we traded for you. But we expected you to get off to a mega-hot start! It’s not our fault for having unreasonable expectations. It’s your fault for failing to live up to them!

I don’t remember O’Brien bemoaning Teixeira’s lack of clutch hitting last season, when Tex mashed 17 homers and 56 RBI in 54 games after being traded from the Rangers to the Braves. I don’t recall O’Brien questioning Tex’s ability to “put a team on his back” then. Last year, Teixeira was a hero in Atlanta. But that’s only because Atlanta got the benefit of his torrid August and September hitting, without having to suffer through his chilly April and May. This year, they are getting the complete Teixeira experience.

I really hate defending Teixeira (again) because everything I read about him makes me think that he wouldn’t be my ideal wingman. But the fact is he is remarkably consistent. He always starts slow. He always finishes hot. He’s good for a .375 OBP, 35 HR and 110 RBI every single year. So if he fails to live up to your expectations, odds are you were expecting too much.

If O’Brien really wants to fault somebody for the Braves’ struggles, he should start with Jeff Francoeur, who has failed to live up to even the most modest expectations. O’Brien points out on his blog that since he was recalled from triple-A, Frenchy “has hit .157 (13-for-83) with one double, one homer and four RBI in his past 23 games, with four walks, 21 strikeouts and a .436 OPS. He has more errors (three) than extra-base hits in that stretch.” Yeah, I think the Braves have bigger problems than Teixeira.

Man, this week feels long. How about some good ol’ fashioned midweek reading?

We already knew that Derek Jeter drinks wine coolers. Now, via Sox and Dawgs, we have the lowdown on A-Rod’s beverage of choice: a cold, fruity Sex on the Beach!

Also in the category of “The Pinstriped Epicure,” we have fresh intel on Yankee radioman John Sterling from the New York Post: he double dips!

Jeff Francoeur told the AJC he felt betrayed by the Braves when they sent him to the minors for a few days, but now his (relatively) harsh words have been removed from the paper’s website. Sabernomics wants to know: where did Frenchy’s quotes go?

Home Run Derby has noticed that Barry Zito’s Fathead poster is on clearance. A new low, indeed. At roughly 20 bucks a pop, Zito could now buy 900,000 of them this year.

UFH invades SportsCenter, notes Awful Announcing—apparently, Giambi’s occasional ’stache has now taken on a life of its own. IT’S ALIVE! IT’S ALIIIIIVE I TELL YOU!

From the Detroit Tigers Weblog, a kitten story. Because everyone likes a kitten story.

And finally, ladies and gentlemen, presenting your latest New York Times contributor: Milton Bradley! I’m staying tuned in case Arthur Sulzberger Jr. does something to provoke him.

Something else I should be reading? Meow at me!

The Atlanta Journal Constitution’s Mark Bradley wants Braves fans to leave Jeff Francoeur alone . Bradley thinks the fans are being too tough on the locally grown phenom, even if Frenchy is off to a crappy start this season:

Jeff Francoeur is having a rough year. His batting average is .252, which isn’t good, and his on-base percentage is .300, which is bad. He has 10 hits – against 10 strikeouts and only two walks – in his past 10 games. Since hitting a walk-off homer against Arizona on May 24, he has eight RBIs in 96 at-bats.

As tepid as those numbers are, they don’t quite explain the rancor directed Francoeur’s way. In Sunday’s sports section he received three mentions (none flattering) in The Vent. If e-mails to a certain writer (namely, me) are any measure, the suggestions go like this: Bat Frenchy eighth; bench Frenchy; send Frenchy to the minors until he learns the strike zone.

You hear that? Fans are going so far as to send frustrated emails to the local paper. Call in the national guard! The situation is out of hand!

Bradley thinks fans should just chill out because, after all, Francoeur is still pretty young and, hey, he’s from Georgia. And, though Bradley doesn’t include this, it’s worth mentioning that Frenchy has the cutest hot baseball wife and that the Francoeurs are totally freaking adorable .

Here’s what Bradley does say about Frenchy:

It’s understandable fans would be anxious, especially at a time when the entire team is listing. What’s curious is how quickly we Atlantans seem to turn on the guy from Gwinnett. Has almost a decade of his derring-do, first at Parkview and now as a Brave, bred such contempt? Have we tired of the famous Frenchy? Have we forgotten that, for all his notoriety, he’s only 24?

First of all, I feel the need to point out that Atlanta fans are the most patient and forgiving fans in America. And if you’ve incurred their wrath than you probably deserve it. I’m a Phillies fan and I feel pretty confident saying that if Frenchy brought his .300 OBP to Philly he’d be dead in a week.

Of course, Francoeur doesn’t play in Philly. He plays in Georgia, the same place where he played in high school and college and in the minors. Should Frenchy’s Georgia roots matter to fans, as Bradley suggests? I don’t think so. He shouldn’t be rewarded for going to high school in Gwinnett any more than Mark Teixeira should be penalized for growing up in the Baltimore area. Players should be measured by their accomplishments, not their zip codes.

As for Frenchy’s feats as a Brave, well, that’s worth debating. He’s certainly had a lot of big moments. He’s been on the cover of Sports Illustrated, for crying out loud! But his stats are a mixed bag. In 2006, he hit 29 home runs, which is pretty good. But he also had an OBP of .293, which is really, really bad. The next year he had an OPB of .334, which is respectable. But he only hit 19 homers, which is only so-so.

This season, Frenchy reportedly worked out in the offseason in an effort to add muscle that would lend itself to more dingers. But so far this season he’s only got eight homers.

Francoeur has undoubtedly suffered from lofty – some might say impossible – expectations.

Here’s what the AJC’s Dave O’Brien predicted Francoeur would do last season. He made this prediction after 20 games:

I’m saying the Braves’ 23-year-old right fielder finishes this season at .280 with 32 homers, 120 RBIs and a .345 OBP, which would be one hell of a season and a huge improvement over last season.

Francoeur ended up with 19 homers, a .338 OBP and 105 RBI, which isn’t bad, but was well short of O’Brien’s prediction.

Here’s what Baseball America 2005 had to say about Frenchy, via Dave O’Brien’s Braves Blog :

“One of the purest five-tool players in the minor leagues. Scouts rave about the way he consistently gets the barrel of the bat on the ball. He uses his hands well in his swing and generates tremendous bat speed, which combined with his natural power should enable him to hit 30-plus home runs annually in the majors. Francoeur uses the entire field and used his season at pitcher-friendly Myrtle Beach to his advantage, becoming adept at driving outside pitches the opposite way…. As impressive as his tools may be, Francoeur’s makeup may stand out even more. Of the most competitive players in the organization, he’s a fiery team leader, which could be just what the big league team needs.”

No pressure, right? Baseball America goes on to compare Frenchy to Dale Murphy and Chipper Jones, which is pretty elite company. So far, Frenchy has fallen far short of those comparisons. But, as Bradley points out, Francoeur is still young. So it’s too early to give up on him.

But it’s certainly not too early to boo Frenchy’s .300 OBP. And it’s not too early to worry that the local boy will never learn plate discipline. Francoeur was lobbying for a longterm contract in the offseason, but his performance thus far has hardly warranted one. When Frenchy learns to take a walk, he’ll get the money and the accolades, and he won’t see any more nastly fan letters. But until then, he’s bound to dissapoint.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution just cannot get themselves enough of the Francoeurs. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know Jeff Francoeur and his longtime love Catie recently tied the knot. And ever since, we’ve been treated to a number of intimate glimpses inside the lives of Atlanta’s most adorable couple.

First, we learned about the honeymoon.

Then, Jeff and Catie shared their favorite movies.

Today, we take a tour inside the couple’s 4-bedroom, 3 1/2 bath Duluth, Ga. home.

But that’s not all! We’re also treated to a photo album with pics from the couple’s Thanksgiving, wedding and honeymoon, as well as private moments at home.

And we get a super in depth look at everything Jeff and Catie, from his anoying habits to details about her gorgeous wedding gown.

Here are just a few of the way-too-cute tidbits the AJC has dug up:

• For his 24th birthday, Catie made dinner reservations — during the college football national championship game. Faux pas!

• Jeff is a clutz. So far he’s broken one framed picture given to the couple as a wedding present and two Christmas ornaments.

• Jeff has “never played less golf” since getting married.

• Catie is a size zero (maybe our smallest Hot Baseball Wife?).

• Jeff has trouble remembering to put the toilet seat down.

• Her cellphone ring tone: “Can’t Touch This.”

• His cellphone ring tone: “Beer in Mexico.”

• Catie’s “homemade” chocolate chip cookies are really Pillsbury.

• The Francoeurs have decided to wait at least five years to have a child.

• One of Jeff’s and Catie’s two dogs goes to a dog psychyatrist for anxiety issues.

• Catie is a University of Georgia grad.

• Jeff, a Clemson fan, grudgingly coexists with a Bulldog cookie jar and pets with UGA collars.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

You already know that Catie Francoeur is a Hot Baseball Wife. You already know that Jeff thinks his wife will make a great mom, and that she’s got a great butt. Now the Atlanta Journal Constitution brings us not one but two intimate glimpses into the lives of the Francoeurs.

First, we got the scoop on the Francoeurs’ honeymoon — they went to Cabo and ran into Chicago Cubs 1B Derrek Lee, his wife, Christina, and their daughter, Jada (what are the odds!?).

Then the Francoeurs, who watch movies together almost every night, agreed to share a list of movies they’ve seen this summer, along with snarky comments about each.

I think I speak for baseball fans everywhere when I say, is it time for spring training yet?

Jeff Francoeur, on what he loves about his new fiance, Catie:

“Now that I’m working out with Javy [Lopez], she wants to come with me. I tell him I’ve got a vendetta against him. She has this poster of him in her parents’ house. But [what I like about her is] she’s obviously very beautiful and a great person and she’ll be a great mom someday, and that’s very important. Her character and integrity and the person she is. And I like her butt, you know what I’m saying?”

Yes, Jeff. I think we know exactly what you’re saying.