Yankees fireballer Joba Chamberlain will make his long-awaited debut as a starter on Tuesday. He will be limited to 70 pitches. The entire East Coast media will be drooling.

Pedro Martinez will also make his long-awaited return to the Mets’ rotation Tuesday. Pedro claims that the Mets clubhouse would have been looser if he had been around. Let’s hope he can be awesome and injury free for the rest of the season, because who wouldn’t want to watch just a little bit more acery from one of the most entertaining pitchers of our generation?

No. 1 prospect in America Jay Bruce had 4 more hits on Friday, raising his batting average in his first 4 games to .571. That the Reds not only went out and sign Corey Patterson this winter specifically to block Bruce, but then stuck with him in the leadoff spot, for two whole months, despite his .200 average and his execrable .240 OBP, can only be taken as a searing indictment of Dusty Baker and departed GM Wayne Krivsky, and anyone else in the Reds organization who could have stepped in and put a stop to the madness. Bruce had nothing left to prove in the minor leagues since more than a year ago, and should have been starting in centerfield for the Reds on opening day.

Steeply declining Indians DH Travis Hafner has been put on the DL for generalized suckiness (officially, a “sore shoulder”). Hafner’s bat has fallen off a cliff the last two seasons, beyond what a mere sore shoulder can explain. He may not be truly this bad, but I think it is safe to say that the Indians are going to be regretting signing him to an extension through 2012 for years to come.

Red Sox ace Daisuke Matsuzaka will go on the DL with a strained rotator cuff, missing at least one start if not more. This means an encore performance of the Justin Masterson show. Everyone is talking about how all signs are as good as can be on Matsuzaka’s shoulder, but I don’t know if there can really be “good signs” when we are talking about some sort of rotator cuff problem.

The Carlos Gonzalez era has officially begun in Oakland, where the organization’s top prospect was called up on Friday and quietly got off to a fine 2 for 3 start, amid much less fanfare than that surrounding the callups of Bruce or Clayton Kershaw. I’m not sure if he’s really ready to hit in the Majors - his AAA stats still showed he has some issues with commanding the strike zone - but with Ryan Sweeney going on the DL, the A’s needed someone to play centerfield, and Gonzalez’s plus defense and rocket arm, at least, will play immediately.

Even less fanfare attended the Cardinals’ decision to call up outfielder Joe Mather, and surprisingly, send down Chris Duncan, who hadn’t exactly been sucky. It was already ridiculous how many talented young outfielders the Cardinals have all of a sudden, what with Ducan, and Rick Ankiel, and Skip Schumaker, and Ryan Ludwick, and Brian Barton. You can now add Mather to that list, as he already made a spectacular diving catch in his first game up, and he might have to be on your fantasy radar having already slugged 12 homers and posted a 1.077 OPS so far at Triple-A this season.

Rumors are starting to heat up again about Kenny Lofton possibly catching on with a big league team at last. Despite hitting .296 with 7 homers and 24 stolen bases last season, Lofton has yet to find a taker for his services this year. His defense has declined to the point where he should no longer be an everyday starter, and he can no longer hit left-handed pitching, but he can still put up strong numbers vs. right-handers and should be able to find a place on somebody’s roster as a part-timer. The Cubs and Mets continue to be rumored as destinations, and Lofton would make some sense for both squads. But in my view this is just people stirring up rumors as there has been no credible evidence that either team is willing to sign Lofton. But with lefty stick, ability to hit for average, and still-dangerous speed, it makes no sense that Lofton doesn’t at least have a role as a bench player when people like Mark Sweeney still have major league jobs.

Joe Sheehan at Baseball Prospectus Unfiltered thinks people (or at least, Peter Schmuck) aren’t publishing The Truth about Barry Bonds. Some of his points are duly noted—Bonds is not the slow, broken player Schmuck casts him as. But with other points, you get the feeling that Schmuck just got deeply under Sheehan’s skin and then couldn’t get out again—such as when Schmuck claims that Bonds would create “a chronic public relations problem” and Sheehan responds, “Barry Bonds doesn’t create a public relations problem…Barry Bonds has a media relations problem.” That’s pretty weak hair-splitting. And Sheehan’s dismissal of Barry Bonds legal problems looks a bit different now that the indictment as been refiled. Nonetheless, if you’re looking for a spirited defense of Barry Bonds (hard to come by these days), it’s worth a read.

Respect Jeter’s Gangster weighs in on the Jobagate fist-pump controversy with some situations in which it may or may not be appropriate for you to pump your fist.

The Padres’ struggles have inspired a debate over at Gaslamp Ball about whether professional ballplayers even need coaches. I say they do. What do you say?

Ever wondered what happened to the old Tiger Stadium? Joe Lapointe has an article in The New York Times and Fabrizio Constantini an eye-opening slide show. (Did you know that they auctioned off one of the dugout urinals last year? I somehow missed that story. And somehow, my life was complete without that particular piece of information.) It’s weird to think that the Tigers have been in Comerica for almost ten years, and that Tiger Stadium has been mouldering scarcely a mile away the entire time. My one beef with the slide show—I like artsy detail shots as much as any amateur shutterbug, but I would have liked a picture of the entire field included, to serve as an establishing shot. And some “before” shots would have been nice to go along with the “afters.”

Bleeding Blue and Teal weighs in on Griffey-to-Seattle trade talk and how such a move might actually make sense.

As draft day approaches, Minor League Ball looks at some high school hitters of interest. If you root for a craptastic team with a high pick, you can start drooling over them now. If you root for a great team with a lot of money, you can start hoping they develop “signability issues.”

Yanksfan Soxfan brings us a blind item from the NY Daily News about a “formerly awesome” pitcher whose shoulder woes are actually due to “years of smoking pot” and “one drug-addled incident in which he had to carry a passed-out date up three flights of stairs.” Guesses in the comments range from the preposterous (Schilling, Pedro) to the “hmmmm…maybe” (Gagne, Zito, Pavano). Got a better guess? Let ‘em know!

If you’ve got cabin fever because it’s a gorgeous May Day and you came into work today like a good doobie instead of calling in sick and going hiking like you really, really wanted to, maybe you should take a look at Slate’s series on baseball in the Dominican Republic (with, of course, an accompanying slide show).

Dan Graziano of the Star Ledger prints some email correspondence with Carlos Delgado’s agent. Neither man comes off looking very good (hint: someone calls someone a retard). Yes, these men are professionals! Do not try this at home!

Razzball takes a look back at Pete Rose’s 1983 season, a year “Pete evaded success like it was the taxman.”

Joe Posnanski brings you Brian Bannister’s crazy day-night splits.

And I said Over The Monster’s picture of Mike Lowell (above) looked like “George Clooney-meets-Humphrey Bogart-meets-UFH.” Paul countered, “He just looks like he’s giving Tek the ol’ stink eye.” What do you think, UmpBumpers?

What else should I be reading? Help me procrastinate better!

Oh my God. It’s Friday! Finally! To give you a sense of where things stand at UmpBump HQ, en route to the office this morning I took a sharp left turn with my cup o’ Joe not properly secured in the cup holder (evidently). Now I have no coffee to drink, and altogether too much coffee soaked into my pants. Never have I needed some TGIF action so badly, and I trust you, loyal readers, feel the same. And here at UmpBump, “action” = “links.”

Rumors and Rants presents the ten worst contracts in baseball today. Guess who Number 1 is?

We didn’t talk about the John Bale story (pitcher on DL frustrated with how rehab is going, punches door with pitching hand, breaks hand) here on UmpBump because we were satisfied with the level of snark at Can’t Stop the Bleeding. Obviously, he didn’t have the Crash Davis tutorial on not hitting doors with your pitching hand. (I can’t keep giving you these free lessons!)

Rob Parker of the Detroit News says “like him or not, the Tigers need Bonds.” I disagree, given that the Tigers are actually third in the AL in runs scored and in the top five in every important offensive category. The problem for Detroit is that they’ve allowed the most runs of any AL Team—yes, even more than the Rangers. I fail to see how signing Barry Bonds is going to change that. But I guess we have to have thirty different versions of the article, “Team X needs to sign Barry Bonds,” no matter how silly some of those are.

Speaking of Bonds, he helped start this recent trend of using maple bats, which can be dangerous when they shatter (see photo). I’m an ash bat purist, so I was glad to see Jeff Passan’s article calling for the end of maple bats at Yahoo! Sports. (Hat tip to ShysterBall.)

Brawl! Since bench-clearing brawls are officially one of the reasons baseball is awesome, Babes Love Baseball has the video (in slo mo!) of Richie Sexson going after Kason Gabbard for throwing a high pitch. When I saw Sexson fling the helmet at Gabbard, and Gabbard promptly curl up in the fetal position on the pitcher’s mound, I knew I was watching an instant classic. The rest of the brawl is just gravy.

Ladies… has the goods on Carlos Gomez in the wake of his hitting-for-the-cycle performance. How you doin’?

Bill Plaschke tries to clarify whether Vin Scully is retiring or not. I came away with a new determination to watch all the Dodgers games this year on MLB.TV, just in case.

And Pinstripe Alley and River Ave Blues would both like to know why all the fuss about Joba’s fist pump. Seriously, a fist-pump controversy? That seems a bit much, even to this Boston fan. Try getting yourselves a shortstop on pace for 45 errors on the season, then tell me about controversy. I would love to hear the ululating in New York if Julio Lugo played for the Yankees. (Mostly because that would mean Julio Lugo was playing for the Yankees.)

And to wrap it up, Soxaholix presents: Youkalicious!

Know something I should be reading? Let me know!

Today is Valentine’s Day, a day for loving the ones you already love, but also for loving the ones you hope to love even more in the near future. So it’s fitting that this year, Valentine’s Day is also the day that pitchers and catchers report, bringing an end to the deadest two weeks in American professional sports, and signaling that spring is finally here.

Because spring training is baseball’s time of love. There is plenty of love to go around for both the veterans you already love, and the young prospects you hope to love very soon. It is a time when every aging veteran has just come back from a new conditioning program and looks better than he has in years. Every rookie seems to have a bit of pop in his bat or a fastball with some good late movement. Everyone seems to have an shot to make the team, and every team seems to have a shot to make big things happen.

What is Spring Training?

Spring Training is Ryan Dempster guaranteeing that the Cubs will win the World Series this year.

It is 2-time AL MVP Juan Gonzalez showing up in the Cardinals camp as a non-roster invitee, two years removed from his last pro season, in which he managed to get only one at-bat.

It is Manny Ramirez embarking on a grueling new workout regimen, promising to be on time to spring training, and boldly declaring that he wants to “be like Julio Franco and play until I’m 48.”

It fans dreaming just how good Clay Buchholz or Joba Chamberlain might be this year.

Spring Training is teams like the White Sox and Astros actually thinking they have any chance of contending. And really, who’s to tell them that they don’t?

Now I know somewhere in the back of my mind that not quite everything is perfect in Baseball Land, and that there was some pretty nasty business going down on Capitol Hill yesterday. And I’ll admit that I myself was riveted to the screen watching it.

But that was before. That was what we clung to for some semblance of entertainment during the dark and dying days of winter.

Today pitchers and catchers have reported, and I am already forgetting. Now there is only the crack of bats, the smack of leather on leather, blue skies, and the smell of fresh green grass. It is officially springtime, baseball is back, and anything seems possible.

When you legally change your name from “John” to “Boof” at the age of twenty, chances are, you’re going to have a bit of a weight problem somewhere down the road.

Justin “Joba” Chamberlain, please consider this as a warning.

This morning, the Red Sox were just six games ahead of the Yankees in the American League East. As it happens, New York and Boston have six contests left this year.

In 17 of their last 19 games, the Yankees have scored five or more runs (even in games they ended up losing). That span also includes some crazy football-type scores: pounding Tampa Bay 17-5 and 21-4, drubbing the White Sox 16-3, and battering the Royals 16-8. Not surprisingly, the still-aptly-named Bronx Bombers lead the AL in runs scored, homers, hits, average, RBI, OBP, SLG, and OPS.

Meanwhile, the Red Sox pitchers lead the league in ERA, have given up the fewest runs and earned runs, have the most strikeouts, and are tied for the lead in batting average against and shutouts.

So it would seem that the AL East pennant is going to come down to a classic baseball faceoff: good pitching vs. good hitting. The conventional wisdom says that in that matchup, good pitching always beats good hitting. But New York’s offensive juggernaut is even more impressive than ususal right now.

Yet so far, Boston has a slight advantage; as great as the Yankees’ offense has been, Boston’s has also been very good. Meanwhile, Boston’s superb pitching has far outstripped New York’s, which has been abysmal. The Yankees are consistently towards the bottom of the league in pitching stats, while the Red Sox are consistently in near the top in offensive numbers.

New York wants to change that. Gone is Joe Torre’s Binky (aka Scott Proctor). Likely headed for waivers is the out-of-favor Kyle Farnsworth. Designated for assignment is lefty-one-out-guy Mike Myers, bane of David Ortiz. And relegated to the remainder bin is Kei Igawa, touted at the beginning of the season as the Yankees’ Matsuzaka. All of this dumping makes room on the roster for hot, young, Yankee farmhands Jim Brower, Phil Hughes, and Joba Chamberlain. Phil Hughes had been on the DL since the Yankees panicked and called him up too early in the season. Brower, a reliever, had been in the minors, honing his 1.65 ERA. Chamberlain–who throws a 98 mph fastball and a 90 mph slider–had started the season in Single A. (Although Chamberlain has had nothing but success this year, I can’t help but point out that Farnsworth throws 97 and still hasn’t been able to get anybody out.)

A few miles up I-95, Boston decided they already had enough good, young pitching and instead went for a veteran arm in Eric Gagne. A few dissenting voices in Boston wished they’d added a bat instead–as I write, Julio Lugo is singlehandedly trying to ruin Boston’s chances of winning the division. This morning, the Boston Globe reported that Lugo was last in the league in RCAA (runs created against the average) with negative 27. Cutting to the chase, this means that though Lugo has created 40 runs for the Sox this season, an average shortstop would have created 67. (And that doesn’t even factor in all the damage he’s done with his leaden glove.)

Good pitching or good hitting? In the end, both Brian Cashman and Theo Epstein decided to stock up on good pitching. And I, for one, can’t wait to see what happens when good pitching and good hitting face off on August 28, when the Red Sox head to the Stadium. It could decide who gets the AL East pennant…and who gets stuck with the Wild Card. (We know Josh and Joba are already pretty psyched [see photos]. Either that or hungry.)