“Hit Bull, Win a Steak.  Hit Grass, Win a Salad.”

The Durham Bulls’ bull, justly glorified in the 1988 movie “Bull Durham”, may have met its match yesterday in the form of Mother Nature herself.  As the story goes, any Bull who hits a homerun off of the wooden structure perched in left field wins a steak.  And yes, you guessed it - if a player hits the grass, he wins a salad.  What isn’t clearly defined by the slogan is what happens when Mother Nature ferociously rips the bull’s head off altogether.  From the Durham Bulls Media Relations:

“High winds with gusts over 50 mph ripped the head off of the Bull early Monday morning, ending the run of the junior bovine…’It was a sad sight to see when I arrived this morning,’ Durham Bulls General Manager Mike Birling said, “Mother Nature did what some pretty strong ballplayers never could.”

 Does this sadden anyone?  My friend Henry and I drove well out of our way to visit The Bull during a baseball road trip a few years back and were completely satisfied with what we experienced.  The Bull, a staple of the new ballpark in Durham, came complete with red eyes, smoking nose and lifted tail whenever the hometeam hit a home run.  In my opinion, the Bull successfully symbolized the roots of American baseball cinema…if there is such a thing.   

While reflecting on the beheaded bovine, I will take solace in the fact that the team has already contacted a “veterinarian of sorts” to put the Famous Bull back together again.  In the meantime, I hope Mother Nature enjoys her steak.

Living here in New York, I must admit that I do not read the Chicago Sun-Times too often, despite the fact that Roger Ebert kind of reminds me of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man (I mean this as a compliment, Roger, don’t get mad).  But I do recall Joe Cowley as the man who inexplicably put Derek Jeter sixth on his MVP ballot in 2006. So we know we’re dealing with a very rational human being here.

Within this article, Cowley has actually created a score sheet to evaluate the trades that White Sox GM Kenny Williams has made… this past off-season… Less than ten games into the 2007 season, Cowley has apparently seen enough to confidently claim victory on behalf of Williams for all of these trades. Favorite quote: 

“(Williams’ smirk) was bordering on smug, teetering on, ”I told you so.” Through six weeks of spring training and a week of the regular season, Williams has earned that right.” 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED