This is one of a series of posts in which we grade each team’s wily hot stove maneuvers and tragic offseason blunders.

So yes, the Twins finally succumbed to the inevitable and traded Johan Santana to a contender. But prior to the deal going through, common sense had the Mets giving up a boatload of young talent in return for the veteran hurler and multiple Cy-Young winner. Of all, one prospect came across as the centerpiece of the deal; alas, Fernando Martinez is still a member of the Mets organization and the four prospects that were sent over are not necessarily tickling the collective pickle of Twins fans across the board.

Last year, the Twins were facing arbitration with six core member of their starting nine, Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer, Michael Cuddyer, Nick Punto, Juan Rincon and Lew Ford; eventually they reached deals with all of them but at a price. Though the resigned Joe Mauer to a 4-year, $33 million deal, 2006-AL-MVP Morneau agreed to a one-year deal only. There was legitimate concern that Morneau would be priced out of reach for the Twins, a small market team, and thus they would have to face a situation similar to the Santana sweepstakes.

Well, in case it got lost in the Santana hoopla, and fortunately for Twins fans, Morneau resigned for a whopping 6-year, $80 million dollars – the biggest contract in Twins history –avoiding the gloomy prospect of losing two of its biggest stars in the same offseason. (Oh yea, Cuddyer also cashed in at a cool $24 million for a 3-year deal).

So on the surface, the Twins spent the offseason trying to take the lesser of two evils: trade one their superstars, and sign one of them longterm, instead of letting both of them go.

But if you look close, new GM Bill Smith made a flurry of moves to revamp his lineup.

After a subpar 2007 by Nick Punto, the Twins signed Mike Lamb for a frugal $6.6 million to handle third and to provide an offensive boost to the lineup. But don’t pencil him in just yet, Punto is better defensively, so he’ll get his share of ABs.

Jason Bartlett, the team’s “shortstop of the future” was traded in November (along with SP Matt Garza) for Delmon Young (who’ll likely start in left field) in a six-player deal that also brought in infielder Brendan Harris. Smith signed veteran Adam Everett to take Bartlett’s place and the team hopes Harris will be able to take over second base.

With left field in the hands of Young, and right field safely in the hands of newly resigned Cuddyer, there’s that center field crater, void, hole, ditch, etc, that was left vacant when Torii Hunter skipped town. Carlos Gomez, who comes over from the Mets as part of the Santana deal is a good candidate, but Smith made sure he had plenty of posibilities for the job, so he signed Craig Monroe.

The bullpen is again anchored by closer Joe Nathan; though that may not be for long as Nathan enters the last year of his contract and may be traded to a contender if the Twins fail to make any noise in the AL Central.

And then, there’s the rotation. The departures of Santana, Garza, and Silva sure seem to leave behind a decapitated corpse. The return of Francisco Liriano might be cathartic for Twins fans, but for a while, all that remained beyond the #1 spot in the rotation were a handful unproven young arms (Carlos Silva left via free agency). So in hopes of avoiding the potential of having all starters under the age of 26, the Twins singed veteran hurler Livan Hernandez to add some experience to what may be a very inconsistent staff.

Many of the Twins woes have come about due to their “small market” status and the lack of big money that comes with it; the construction of their new stadium has hit various obstacles along the process but is set to open in 2010, when bigger (and more consistent) crowds may help secure funds to sign future stars.

From now until then, though, all the Twins can do is battle it out with what they’ve got.

Projected lineup, rotation and Closer

1. LF Delmon Young - .288 .316 .408
2. 3B Mike Lamb - .289 .366 .453
3. C Joe Mauer - .293 .382 .426
4. 1B Justin Morneau - .271 .343 .492
5. RF Michael Cuddyer - .276 .356 .433
6. CF Carlos Gomez - .232 .288 .304
7. 2B Brendan Harris - .286 .343 .434
8. DH Craig Monroe - .219 .268 .370
9. SS Adam Everett - .232 .281 .318

LF Francisco Liriano - DNP in 2007
RH Livan Hernandez - 11-11, 4.93 ERA
RH Boof Bosner - 8-12, 5.10 ERA
RH Scott Baker - 9-9, 4.33 ERA
RH Kevin Slowey - 4-1, 4.33 ERA

Closer: Joe Nathan - 37 sv, 1.88 ERA

Acquisitions: Mike Lamb, Adam Everett, Delmon Young, Craig Monroe, Carlos Gomez, Livan Hernandez

Losses: Johan Santana, Torii Hunter, Carlos Silva, Matt Garza, Jason Bartlett (both in the Young deal).

Offseason grade: C

The Santana trade was a nasty affair and the Twins came out looking more like losers than winers; if we were to grade on that, they could not get higher than a D. But the fact that they managed to sign Morneau to a long-term deal was significant enough to upgrade the perennial D to a C.

- Hot Offseason Action Index -

Twins fans (and especially Jeter-hating Red Sox fans) Rejoice!

From the ESPN wire:

MORNEAU EDGES JETER FOR AL MVP AWARD

First baseman Justin Morneau, whose clutch hitting helped the Minnesota Twins overcome a 12-game deficit in mid-July to go on and win the American League Central title, was elected Most Valuable Player in a tight race with New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter in balloting by the BBWAA.

Morneau, who batted .321 with 34 home runs and 130 runs batted in, was named first on 15 of the 28 ballots cast by two writers from each league city, second on eight, third on three and fourth on two to total 320 points, based on a tabulation system that rewards 14 points for first place, nine for second, eight for third on down to one for 10th.

Jeter, who was second in the league in batting with a .343 average and had 214 hits, 118 runs, 97 RBI and 34 stolen bases, was listed first on 12 ballots, second on 14, fourth on one and sixth on one to score 306 points. The other first-place vote went to Twins pitcher Johan Santana (19-6, 2.77 ERA, 245 strikeouts in 233 ? innings), who placed seventh overall with 114 points. Read the rest of this entry »

My first stop when I started thinking about this year’s MVPs was at my local dictionary:

Valuable (adjective): 1. Having considerable monetary worth; costing or bringing a high price. 2. Having qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem. 3. Of considerable use, service, or importance.

Hmmmm.

Well if you use definition no. 1, you’d have to give the AL MVP award to A-Rod every year. But since the MVP award isn’t a salary medallion, we must turn to definitions 2 and 3. Clearly, “considerable use, service, or importance,” measured by statistics, is the main criterion by which an MVP prize is awarded. But you can’t discount the less tangible “qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem.” Also, I know that people generally don’t vote for designated hitters or pitchers, but I think this is a silly, arbitrary, and almost cruel prejudice. Finally, the team has to be a good team. Not necessarily a playoffs-bound team, but good.

So with this in mind, let’s start with the Senior Circuit. Ryan Howard’s monstrous, monstrous offensive stats (57 homers as of today; 147 RBI) must make him the frontrunner. However, I would like to point out for all the anti-DH “purists” out there that Howard is a among the worst in fielding for a starting NL first baseman. He’s basically a DH who happens to stand at first for three outs between hitting. This gives leaves room for an upset by Pujols, whose offensive stats are still gaudy, but who has a much better fielding percentage and range factor. Of course, if you’re trying to figure out the odds of either one of them getting the award, Howard is definitely helped by the holy-cow-what-is-he-doing August and early September he just had. Pujols was a more established star at the start of the season and was on pace to break the single-season home run record at the beginning of the year—-however, spending time on the DL and a relatively cool bat later in the season put the kibosh on that. So if this were a presidential race, you’d say that Pujols was sort of the Howard Dean, if you will, an early favorite who lost momentum, while Howard has the advantage of getting hot at the right time—so my money’s on him to win. And for a third choice? That’s tough. But just to be tricksy, I’m picking Freddy Sanchez. I don’t think he’ll actually win, but wouldn’t it be cool if he did? (It would serve Boston right for getting rid of him—yes, watching these meaningless games in the Fens has me feeling vindictive, even sadistic.) As of Friday, his average is an MLB-leading .347, and while he hasn’t played enough games at one infield position to qualify for a ranking at any of them, he’s got more games played at third (93) than any other “unqualified” infielder (if you follow me) and his fielding percentage at that position is better than any of the “qualified” third basemen. Nor has he made an error in 20 games at second this season. (He has 4 boo-boos during 28 games at short.) Ten errors in 148 games this year? Not too shabby. Not too shabby at all. Counting against him? Well, I’m sure his team liked having those 83 runs batted in, but his power is just not there, nor is his on-base percentage among the league’s leaders. His stolen bases and caught stealing are almost the same. And his team isn’t a good team. The Pirates suck. But I needed three, so he’s my third.

Now, the American League—much tougher. While the NL has a clear frontrunner and a close second, with everyone else a distant also-ran, the AL has several contenders all neck-and-neck. Derek Jeter is getting good press from even the Boston writers, but I don’t know. Someone more clever than me wrote that if Jeter gets the AL MVP, it’ll be a “lifetime achievement award.” Derek is second in the batting title race this morning, and his fielding this year has been solidly middle-of-the-pack, though of course we all know that every time he plays he leaves it all on the field yadda yadda yadda okay. He mostly seems to be a contender for two reasons: one, his team is good. Very good. Annoyingly, heart-wrendingly, maddeningly good. (Shut up.) And two, he’s the captain of this incredibly good year-after-year team, which has just happened to win the AL East title every year he’s been on it. In other words, he’s got “intangibles.” Some scoff at the idea of intangibles. I don’t. I’m just not sure exactly whether Derek Jeter has them or not. (Also, not that this has to do with anything, but I really do think he’s gay, and that the rotating bevy of babes he trots out like show dogs are just a clever ruse. Come out, Derek! Stop living a lie!) I’m not opposed to the idea of a lifetime achievement MVP, if no one else in the league really deserves it that year. But do they? Let us ponder.

You’ve got the M&Ms on the Twins—Mauer and Morneau (or Joe and Justin, if you prefer—that’s also pretty snappy, but I couldn’t figure out a cute candy nickname with the letter J). In some ways, both are doing so well, and on the same team (a good team and a so-hot-right-now-Hansel team) I feel like they almost cancel each other out. I’m sure the baseball writers of America would like to award the MVP jointly to both of them, but that’s just not how it’s done. Mauer and Morneau are both in the top five in average. Mauer is currently edging out Jeter for the batting title, while Morneau is second (after David Ortiz) in RBI. Mauer may get incredulity points (a catcher as batting champ? a really good catcher as batting champ??) while Morneau is just another (yawwwwn) slugging first baseman. Is that fair? No, but life’s not fair. So between the Twins’ twins, I’d say Mauer has a clear edge over Morneau.

Then you’ve got Johan Santana, the first pitcher to seem like a legit AL MVP candidate since Pedro Martinez’s storied 1999 season. But I can’t give it to Santana, as awesome as he’s been this year. When Pedro was robbed that year, he won 23 games (Santana has 18 this season) and had a lower ERA (2.07 to 2.79) and had 313 strikeouts (Santana has 240). Also I have to say, 1999 was way before the Great Deflation. All kindsa sluggers were injecting all kindsa things. So to me, Pedro’s pitching triple crown is just more impressive than Santana’s. Is it fair to compare anyone to Pedro in 1999? No, it’s completely unjust. And do two wrongs (denying two deserving pitchers the MVP) make a right? No. But this is baseball, sport of caprice. If Pedro can’t have it, NO ONE CAN. Bitterness 1, Johan 0.

Which brings me, of course, to David Ortiz. In my heart of hearts, I want him to have it. I do. I wanted him to have it last year. I think he deserves it, at some point. But given that the Sox were pretty much out of the postseason chase weeks ago, given that he is a DH (and while I’m willing to give it to a DH, I think that, like a pitcher, it’s got to be a standout case of deservedness, where the candidate is head-and-shoulders, Pedro-in-1999 above the rest) and given that the AL field of candidates is so crowded this year, I’m just not sure he will get it. But does he deserve it? Let’s take a moment to reflect in a calm and dispassionate manner. He’s had five walkoff hits this year (15 in his career with Boston), so without him, the Sox would have fallen from contention even sooner. He’s had 52 dingers (breaking a Sox club record that had stood since 1938) and 132 RBI—in fact, his slugging stats this year were so good, that even when he missed a week’s worth of games with an irregular heartbeat, no one else came close to dethroning him. Getting less fanfare than his homers and ribbies, but no less “of considerable use, service, or importance,” he’s first in the AL in walks (yes, even with Manny Ramirez hitting behind him for most of the season), second in slugging, third in runs scored, and third in OPS. Also, he’s David Ortiz. Clubhouse intangibles? Check. Awesome nickname? Check. Even managers of other teams send him thank-you notes for “what he’s done for the game.” Yowza.

But for me, silly dictionary definitions aside, “valuable” just means, “Which of these dudes would you rather have on your team?” Since this is UmpBump and not actually an MVP ballot, I’ll give Morneau and Jeter a tie for third. (What the hell Johan, you can tie for third place, too.) While Jeter’s run has gathered about it the sense of resigned inevitibility of, say, the Kerry nomination, I predict that like that campaign, it will ultimately fall short (I don’t know why this all seems so much like the 2004 election). He’ll get over it, though. Unlike John Kerry, Derek Jeter has his own cologne.

And the runner-up, in case the MVP is not able to fulfill his duties….is Joe Mauer. (He’s young. He’ll win another year.)

Therefore, the winnah and still champeen: David Americo Ortiz! Wow, that’s funny. I realize that no one reading this is surprised that he’s my pick, but I really didn’t think I was going to choose him when I started this post (about thirty seven years ago). Honest!

Oh, and yeah—I stuck to three picks per league because that was the deal, and I’m not an overachieving Harvard scholar.  I did write way too much, but that’s just because I’m a woman, and we talk a lot. Also because I feel like these MVP picks have become a sort of UmpBump arms race—bigger better faster more! Up next: Coley’s film treatment/Russian novel/phone book.

Last March, I went to the Tampa to watch some spring training baseball with my dad and friends Zvee, Dan and Henry. While we were watching Jason Marquis pitch, Henry pointed out that we were privileged to be watching one of the greatest Jewish baseball players of all-time. He also mentioned that, as it stands, the list of great Jewish baseball players isn’t all that impressive.

Recently, Justin Morneau hit his 30^th home run for the Twins, making him the first Twins player to hit 30 in a season since 1987. It also made him only the fourth Canadian to hit 30 homers.

So here’s the question: if you assembled two teams, one made up of the greatest Jewish ball players of all time and one made up of the best Canadians, which would win?

The best Canadian team (and feel free to disagree) would probably look something like this:

Larry Walker OF Had the luxury of playing in Coors before they starting freezing their balls.
Rob Ducey OF He was once traded for himself.
Corey Koskie 3B Koskie’s entry music when he comes to bat is usually a song by Rush, also Canadian.
Justin Morneau 1B Having one heck of a year.
George Selkirk RF Replaced Babe Ruth in the Yankees’ lineup in 1934, hit .290 over nine seasons, topping .300 five times and twice driving in more than 100 runs.
Jeff Heath OF From 1945 to 1955 he held the major league record for career home runs by a player born outside the United States.
Bob Emslie P Was the first Canadian pitcher of note, and won more games in a big league season than any other Canadian, posting a 32-17 mark for the 1884 Baltimore Orioles. A poor start in 1885 sent him back to the minors, with a career major league record of just 44-44.
Ferguson Jenkins P Was probably the best Canadian player of all, a 6′5″ right-hander from Chatham, Ontario, who compiled a 284-226 record over nineteen seasons from 1965 to 1983. At his peak, Jenkins (the only Canadian-born Hall of Famer) won 20 games or more seven times in eight years.
Eric Gagne P Was on pace to become the most dominant closer ever. Then he went off the juice.
Rheal Cormier P Otherwise known in Philadelphia as the guy who only allows inherited runners to score, but never his own, leading to a deceptively low ERA.

The Jewish All-Star Team would look like this:

Moe Berg C Was not only a secret agent in Germany and Japan in the 1930s, but also worked in the OSS during World War II.
Hammerin’ Hank Greenberg 1B A four-time All-Star and two-time MVP in just nine seasons.
Buddy Myer SS Won the batting title in 1935.
Al Rosen 3B A four-time All-Star, led the league in dingers twice, had five straight 100-plus RBI campaigns, and won the MVP award in 1953.
Shawn Green OF A one-time 30-30 player, now finishing up his career with the Mets.
Sid Gordon OF A two-time All-Star who cranked 25-plus homers in five straight seasons and three years of 100-plus ribbies.
Gabe Kapler OF Gets included on this list just for having rock-hard abdominals.
Sandy Koufax P Just the greatest left-handed pitcher of all time.
Ken Holtzman P Threw two no-hitters for the Cubs and won three World Series rings with the A’s.

As you can see, it was hard to field complete teams on either side. But at the end of the day, I have to say the Jewish team is a little more impressive. Koufax was the man. There aren’t any names like that on Team Canada. Who knows? Maybe in ten years we’ll look at the Canadian roster and see two future hall of famers in Justin Morneau and Eric Gagne? But for now, it’s the Hebrew squad all the way.

Oh what could have been.

My fantasy team (Team Umpbump) entered this week in seventh place in our 12-team league, one spot out of the playoffs. The team was riding high on the strenth of its starting pitching (Pedro, Halladay, Webb, Padilla and Radke) and on the hot bat of one Mr. Chase Utley.

In fact, last week was full of smiley-happy storylines for Team Umpbump. Pedro made his first really strong start after a couple weeks on the DL. Justin Morneau, a guy who got off to a slow start this season, but who I stuck with anyway, hit .400 with 12 RBIs and a homer last week, raising his season totals to .321, 29 HRs and 98 RBIs.

Mark Teixeira, who got off to an even slower start than Morneau, had his second monster week in a row, hitting .304 with 4 HRs and 6 RBIs.

All of this, you’re thinking, must have added up to fantasy success for Team Umpbump, right? Wrong.

You see, before the week started, I made what I thought at the time was a pretty savvy move, picking up Fausto Carmona, the man who inherited the Cleveland Indians’ closer job after Bob Whickman was traded to the Braves. Carmona had been lights out as a setup man. It looked like a no-brainer.

But, as you’ve probably heard, Carmona didn’t last long as the Indians’ closer. In three relief appearances over the course of seven days he racked up three blown saves. His ERA last week was 37.80. He was, simply put, not good.

Over the course of every fantasy season, there comes a roll-the-dice moment. Whether you’re deciding to trade Pedro before he starts his inevitable second-half decline, or deciding to take a chance that Carl Crawford can make it through a season without a major injury, you’ll have to make at least one of these season-changing decisions. My biggest roll the dice moment this season might have been the decision to pin my bullpen hopes on Carmona. It was a decision that made so much sense at the time. He’s a young guy with electric stuff. A fast ball pitcher strikeout pitcher born to close on a team that plays a lot of close games. Plus, his name is Fausto, which conjurs up images of the devil and is just such a cool name for a closer. It really did seem like a good idea at the time.

Now, like so many of my ill-conceived fantasy decisions of seasons past, it seems a little stupid.

Thanks to the overwhelming number of ten-year olds voting for their favorite hometown heroes (“Dad, where’s Yuniesky Betancourt?”), there will undoubtedly be a number of snubs for this year’s midsummer classic. Don’t spend the next three weeks on your hands and knees speculating about your favorite players – I have dutifully previewed the All-Star infield snubs. Enjoy.

C – BRIAN MCCANN (.352, 5 hr, 23 rbi) McCann’s fantastic year has been largely overlooked because of the Braves’ miserable first half. At times, McCann has been the Braves best hitter, lining pitches to all fields. With Adam LaRoche and Jeff Francoeur — poor on-base percentage hitters — batting ahead of him, McCann has not had many opportunities to produce. He has batted only 33 times with runners in scoring position all year. When the bottom half of the Braves lineup starts to hit, expect for McCann’s numbers to balloon.

Zvee’s Projected NL All-Star Catchers: Paul Lo Duca, Johnny Estrada

1B – JUSTIN MORNEAU (.288, 19 hr, 64 rbi) Morneau deserves to be June’s “Player of the Month.” The Twins slugger has raised his average .48 points in June — from .240 to .288 – and has put together some outlandish power numbers. With 9 HRs and 28 RBIs this month, Morneau trails only David Ortiz for the season’s AL RBI lead. He has carried the Twins to an 18-7 June record, leading them back into contention for the AL wild-card. At the beginning of the season, baseball gurus proclaimed that Morneau must have an outrageous year for the Twins to compete – he has and they are.

Zvee’s Projected AL All-Star 1B: David Ortiz, Jason Giambi, Jim Thome

2B – DAN UGGLA (.312, 13 hr, 43 rbi, 49 runs) Uggla hasn’t played in eight days because of a hamstring injury and Marlins manager Joe Girardi does not appear to be rushing him back. Despite a week-long absence, Uggla is still on pace to hit 25+ HRs, 95+ RBIs, 100+ runs from a second base position that is inherently weak in both leagues. He is a leading candidate for NL Rookie of the Year and should be highly considered on All-Star ballots. What will cost Uggla is the fact that he plays in a poor baseball market for a low-budget team that receives very little national recognition.

Zvee’s Projected NL All-Star 2B: Chase Utley, Brandon Phillips.

SS – CARLOS GUILLEN (.299, 9 hr, 44 rbi) Beyond the big four (Reyes, Tejada, Jeter, Young), there is a drastic drop-off at the shortstop position. Guillen has had a solid first half for the Tigers but assuredly will not see the mid-summer classic thanks to Miguel Tejada, Derek Jeter, and Michael Young, all of whom are having spectacular seasons in the American League.

Zvee’s Projected AL All-Star SS: Miguel Tejada, Derek Jeter.

3B – JOE CREDE (.302, 14 hr, 54 rbi) Crede is enjoying the best offensive season of his six-year career, propelling the White Sox to a 51-27 record, 2^nd best in the majors. He has elevated his average .50 points from last season - .252 to .302 – and is only eight homeruns shy of matching his career high (22, set last season). Along with Paul Konerko, Jermaine Dye, and Jim Thome, he is one of four White Sox on pace to crack 30+ HRs and 100+ RBIs. Perhaps Crede’s first-half brilliance has been overshadowed by his teammates, because Crede is simply not getting the accolades he deserves. Although it’s possible that Ozzie Guillen could choose Crede as a Manager’s Selection, there are several other capable 3B candidates from which to choose.

Zvee’s Projected AL All-Star 3B: Alex Rodriguez, Troy Glaus.

UTIL. INF. – GARRETT ATKINS (.311, 10 hr, 53 rbi, 49 runs) Atkins is not flashy and that’s going to cost him in All-Star balloting. Many people have overlooked Atkins’ offensive year because of the Colorado altitude, but he isn’t driving people in with homeruns – in fact he has only 10 HRs on the year. Instead, Atkins has driven up his RBI numbers by becoming one of the most “clutch” hitters in baseball, sporting a .348 BA with runners-in-scoring-position. He is a vital part of a potent Rockies offense that has earned the nickname “Triple H’s” (Hawpe, Helton, Holliday). The only thing missing from the nickname is an Atkins inclusion – expect his absence to become a theme at the All-Star game, too.

Zvee’s Projected NL IF Reserves: Scott Rolen, Chipper Jones (sad but true).

Outfield snubs to come in my next article…