I feel that Tuesday often gets lost in the workweek shuffle. There’s Monday, which gets a lot of attention for being first. There’s Wednesday, which gets to be “Hump Day.” Thursday is often “thirsty,” or at least gets a sort of half-credit for being almost Friday. And then there’s Friday itself, which, when it rolls around, we’re all so thankful for. But where does poor Tuesday come in? The shock of Monday has worn off, but the ray of hope that Wednesday offers hasn’t yet broken through the gloom. Well, I’ve decided Tuesday needs more love. And on UmpBump, love = links. So let’s get to ‘em. And let’s do it lineup-style!

Leading off, my own Metro Column: A Few Reasons Why Baseball Is Awesome. Need I say more?

Batting second, the June amateur draft is just two months away and The Baseball Analysts are getting ready with a must-read preview series.

Third, Baseball Musings points out that Randy Johnson’s loss last night was unearned. Literally—all the runs the Giants managed came as a result of errors by the D-Backs.

Batting cleanup, Beyond the Box Score looks at some hot starts (and a few slow ones) and identifies which ones are flukes.

Fifth—this one’s for all you Milwaukee Brewers fans. Take heart! There is one closer who may be scarier to have in your bullpen than Eric Smelly Gagne (as my Red Sox-loving roommate still calls him, and will ever call him): Joe Borowski. Bugs and Cranks has the hilarious, heartbreaking rant.  (VegasWatch also chimes in, pointing out that thanks largely to Borowski, the Tigers aren’t in quite as deep a hole as it seems.)

Sixth, Joe Posnanski has a nice post about airport security lines. (And if that’s not baseball-related enough for you, then you can read this one about how much he loves Brian Bannister’s slow-ass fastball.)

Seventh,  this Marlins fan has started Florida Marlins Finances to prove it to the management that they are profitable, dammit, whether they like it or not and with or without that new, taxpayer-funded stadium they want.

Eighth, via River Ave Blues: the Red Sox and New York face off again tomorrow and the first pitch will be thrown from space. (Side note: doesn’t it seem weird that the Sox and Yanks are playing each other again already? And that the Brewers and the Reds will also be facing each other for the second time later this week? And that the White Sox and the Tigers have already faced each other twice? And that the Rays have also faced the Yankees and the Orioles twice? Divisional face-offs are all well and good, but the scheduler may have taken it a bit far this April.)

And batting ninth, the pitcher,  Rumors and Rants, who brings us more good news about Randy Johnson: the mullet (pictured above) is back! It is just as I hoped it would be!

And as a sort of pinch hitter, I have to give a shoutout to Tim Dierkes at MLB Trade Rumors for giving me credit for my foresight on Kyle Snyder, who has cleared waivers and accepted an assignment to Boston’s AAA affiliate, the Paw Sox. There were doubters at the time! But I was right! And as regular readers of UmpBump know, there’s few things Sarah Green loves more in life than being proven right (coffee, my as-yet-unborn children…let’s see…what else? Nope, I think that basically covers it).

Well, this seems to have kind of gotten lost in the excitement of the start of the season, but did anyone else notice that the Phillies traded Wes Helms to the Florida Marlins for one dollar? And not only that, but the Phillies also agreed to pay all of Helms’ $2.15 million salary for this season.

It goes without saying that this is a pretty decent deal for the Marlins, but how ignominious is that for Wes Helms to be so unwanted by your old team that you get traded for a single dollar?

As far as crazy trades go, this one is right up there with the Braves getting reliever Kerry Ligtenberg from a Northern League team for a bucket of balls and some baseball bats.

Actually, I’m sure those balls and bats cost significantly more than $1.

Thanks to ESPN.com’s new “roster analysis” page, which automatically updates as teams’ rosters change, we can keep track of various averages for each major league roster all season long.

Baseball’s fattest team? The Chicago White Sox (and it’s not even that close) , weighing in at an average of 221 pounds. The biggest culprits include the mountainous Bobby Jenks, generously listed at 275 pounds, the bulbous Jim Thome (255), and the voluminous Toby Hall (also listed at 255).

The thinnest team is the San Francisco Giants, weighing in at a scant 195 pounds on average, proving that not only are the Giants the lightweights of the Major Leagues when it comes to hitting, but that they are also the lightweights when it comes to actual weight. (Although now with 180-pound Dave Roberts heading to the DL, their rank may change).

As for the average height of baseball teams, we see that it does not vary much, with 29 out of the 30 teams having an average height of either 6-1 or 6-2. In dead last at 6-0 is the puny Houston Astros.

Baseball’s youngest team is, unsurprisingly, the Florida Marlins, with an average age of 27.2 years, while baseballs oldest team is a tie between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Mets, at 30.6 years of average age.

Last night, the Washington Nationals played their second ever home game at their new stadium. And they didn’t even fill half the seats.

Granted, the Nats were playing the Marlins, a team that doesn’t exactly pack ‘em in. And it was a chilly evening in D.C.

But we’re talking about a brand new stadium. It was their second home game!

East Coast Bias says attendance won’t get any better anytime soon:

It won’t get much better this week. According to Nats’ Team President Stan Kasten (routinely and incorrectly referred to as the owner by Washington’s–and possibly the nation’s–premiere news radio station WTOP), crowds in the 20,000s are expected for the remainder of the homestand against Florida and Atlanta. According to Kasten, “It’s also good for us. It’s the right size crowd for us to keep learning things.” I hope that includes learning how to market to a transplant city that just doesn’t care much about the home team.

I wonder if the Marlins were paying attention to all those empty seats last night? Florida is fond of singing the same sad refrain: “we can’t compete without a new stadium.” But it’s becoming increasingly clear that new stadiums aren’t the draw that they used to be.

5:09 - Sorry gang, but it’s looking like my laptop is none too happy. Will try and take care of it and come back.

5:05 - Nothing much is happening in the game. But the New York Megamillion Jackpot is not over $135 million. Thought you’d like to know.

4:48 - I’m embarrassed. The Mets are down in Florida right now and the Mets fans have already begun a “Yankees Suck” chant. Way to shed that inferiority complex, fellas.

4:43 - It’s ludicrous how many Mets fans are there down in Florida. Santana gets through the Marlins lineup 1-2-3 and the crowd in Dolphin Stadium goes wild. What the hell?

4:41 - So here we go with Johan Santana throwing his first official pitches in a Met uniform. That changeup is just killer. Has a nice sink and tails away from the right handed hitter. Hanley matches up with Reyes toe-to-toe and strikes out as well.

4:37 - For all the crap we all give him about his defense, Hanley Ramirez just got a great jump and snagged a flyball that looked like it would drop in shallow left. Well played, sir. Well played.

4:36 - Beltran hit a weak bloop to center - Cody Ross dove for it, had it, then dropped it. So instead of the third out, now it’s second and third with two outs (Castillo walked earlier).

4:28 - Some weird people once said that the first at-bat of the season determines both teams’ fates for the entire year. Reyes just struck out on three pitches. Awesome.

4:20 - We’re twenty minutes into the broadcast. And I’ve already lost count of how many times the word “collapse” was used. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 New York Mets!

4:15 - OK, so it looks like we were able to fix the problem we were having with the site. Anyhow, here’s the starting lineup for both teams:

NY Mets:
1. Jose Reyes - SS
2. Luis Castillo - 2B
3. David Wright - 3B
4. Carlos Beltran - CF
5. Carlos Delgado - 1B
6. Angel Pagan - LF
7. Ryan Church - RF
8. Brian Schneider - C
9: Johan Santana - P

Florida Marlins:
1. Hanley Ramirez - SS
2. Dan Uggla - 2B
3. Mike Jacobs - 1B
4. Josh Willingham - LF
5. Cody Ross - RF
6. Jorge Cantu - 3B
7. Luis Gonzalez - RF
8. Matt “Mr. Misty May” Treanor - C
9. Mark Hendrickson - P

It pains me to write “Angel Pagan” in the #6 slot…

It’s incredible how much of a drop-off Jorge Cantu is when compared to Miguel Cabrera.

12:15pm: Today starting at 4pm EST, I’ll try and give this crazy “live blogging” thing a whirl and cover Johan Satana’s regular season debut as a New York Met when he takes on the rapscallion Florida Marlins.

So if you’re depressed that you’re at work or in class or whatever the devil it is that you do on a Monday and wish that you were, like me, at home wrapped in a blanket eating chocolate chip cookies with a cup of coffee, come on by to UmpBump at 4 pm EST.

PS: Did you ever think you’d see the day when Mark Hendrickson will have “Opening Day Starter” on his resum

• The city of Goodyear, Ariz., has until Thursday to publicly identify where it’s gonna get the $32 million it will cost to bring the Reds to the Cactus League.
• If the Reds don’t go to Goodyear, they could replace the White Sox in Tucson (I’d like to link to this story, but the Arizona Daily star makes you pay for any story that’s more than a week old).
• One season soon, the Cubs could play some home games at U.S. Cellular Field while Wrigley gets a face lift.
• The former owner of the Philadelphia Eagles thinks the Marlins new stadium should be privately financed.

This is the latest in a series of posts in which UmpBump breaks down the cagey offseason moves and woeful offseason blunders for all 30 major-league teams

The Marlins only really made one move this offseason, but it was a huge one, shipping Dontrelle Willis AND Miguel Cabrera in the same deal to the Detroit Tigers for prospects Cameron Maybin, Andrew Miller, Burke Badenhop, Eulogio De La Cruz, and Dallas Trahern, and Mike Rabelo.

The deal has been talked about for months as one of the best trades made in years, but of course everyone means from the Tigers’ perspective. From the Marlins’ perspective, this is an abominable trade, so bad you almost feel like Marlins fans should be able to sue the team for some sort of breach of fiduciary duties.

First of all, there is the overwhelming feeling you get that the Marlins would almost certainly have gotten far more in return if they had traded Willis and Cabrera in separate deals, most likely to two separate teams. Both were marquee names, both could have been expected to have a large market, and Miguel Cabrera is probably one of the 5 best players in the entire game right now. The only two words that could adequately describe the feeling around the baseball world when word came down that both players had been traded to a single team in the same deal was, “absolute shock”

Second of all, is the players the Marlins actually got in return. Centerfielder Cameron Maybin and lefty starting pitcher Andrew Miller were supposed to be the centerpieces of this deal, but both players are still extremely raw, and if the Marlins have any sense they will start them both at Double-A this year (note: it is unclear whether the Marlins have any sense). I mean, if these were dominant Triple-A players on the verge of major-league stardom, then that would be one thing, but there is a lot that players have left to learn if they are going to make the show from Double-A, so while Maybin and Miller have upside and projectability, they are as of yet nobody’s idea of “can’t miss.” Meanwhile, the other three pitchers are all C-grade prospects, and catcher Mike Rabelo is nobody’s idea of a prospect at all.

But thirdly, and this is where my own opinion comes in, above and beyond the general consensus that this was a bad deal by the Marlins, I can’t help thinking that what makes this deal so shameful and regrettable is that the Marlins actually had a pretty good shot to contend this year, with just a few moves.

What’s that, I hear you saying. Did he just say that the Marlins could have contended this season?

Well, yeah, actually. I’m sure the Marlins front office probably looked at their 71 wins last year and decided this team had no hope, and that they might as well shave an extra few million bucks off their payroll by dumping Willis and Cabrera. But I submit to you that if they had kept Willis and Cabrera, who are still relatively cheap, the Marlins would really only have been a few players away from being a serious menace in the NL East.

For one thing, the Marlins have a lineup stacked with young players making the major league minimum who are all still on the upswing side of their young careers. Second, the Marlins could have easily improved their defense dramatically, with a few moves. Last year, Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla, and Miguel Cabrera were woeful defensively at their respective positions. But if you simply moved Cabrera to first, Uggla to third, Ramirez to second, and found even an average defensive shortstop, you would suddenly have a vastly improved infield defense.

Thirdly, the only real hole in the Marlins’ lineup last season was in centerfield, which was exactly the position with the most free agents to choose from this offseason. The Marlins may not have been too inclined to jump into the Torii Hunter or Aaron Rowand sweepstakes, but with only a $30 million payroll last year, they easily could have afforded to go after Mike Cameron. And an even better idea would have been to make a trade for Boston’s Coco Crisp.

With a powerful young lineup headlined by Cabrera, Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla, Josh Willingham, and Jeremy Hermida, the Marlins would have put up a ton of runs, and a promising young rotation led by Willis (who was bound to improve on a down year) would have benefited greatly from an improved defense. Meanwhile, the Marlins bullpen is actually a secret source of strength: now that last years disasters Armando Benitez and Jorge Julio have been shown the way to the exit, the pen can be fully turned over to respectable closer Kevin Gregg (3.54, 32 SV), and extremely promising young arms Lee Gardiner (1.94 ERA last year), Henry Owens (1.96), Matt Lindstrom (3.04), Justin Miller (3.65), Renyel Pinto (3.68), and closer-in-training Taylor Tankersley (3.99).

So by my count, all the Marlins would have needed to do this offseason to field a very competitive team this offseason would have been to acquire a centerfielder, a cheap defensive-oriented shortstop (such as Cesar Izturis or Adam Everett), and a reliable 5th starter who could eat innings while Rick Vanden Hurk develops a bit more polish and Anibel Sanchez heals from surgery (Livan Hernandez?). Also, they should have resigned starting catcher Miguel Olivo, who doesn’t walk enough, but is strong defensively and has some good power, and would have only cost a few million at most (he wound up signing a one-year deal with the Royals). That is literally all they would have needed, as the lineup, rotation and bulpen would have been totally set everywhere else, and set with young players who are actually good, and pretty much all have upside left.

Of course, enacting this plan would have required that the Marlins actually care about winning anymore, rather than just whining about having no stadium deal. But clearly, winning is not a priority.

Offseason Grade: F

Additions: Luis Gonzalez, Mark Hendrickson, Dallas McPherson, Mike Rabelo, Andrew Miller, Cameron Maybin

Losses: Miguel Cabrera, Dontrelle Willis, Miguel Olivo, Armando Benitez, Aaron Boone, Byung-Hyun Kim, Joe Borchard, Wes Obermueller

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer:

SS Hanley Ramirez - .332/.386/.562, 51 SB
2B Dan Uggla - .245/.326/.479, 31 HR
RF Jeremy Hermida - .296/.369/.501, 18 HR
LF Josh Willingham - .265/.364/.463, 21 HR
1B Mike Jacobs - .265/.317/.458, 17 HR
3B Dallas McPherson - .261/.298/.478
CF Alfredo Amezaga - .263/.324/.358
C Mike Rabelo - .256/.300/.357

LHP Scott Olson - 10-14, 5.81
RHP Sergio Mitre - 5-8, 4.65
RHP Ricky Nolasco - 1-2, 5.48
LHP Andrew Miller - 5-5, 5.63
LHP Mark Hendrickson - 4-8, 5.21

CL Kevin Gregg - 3.54, 32 SV

- Hot Offseason Action Index -

Atlanta Braves - Healthy Mike Hampton, Healthy Mike Gonzalez, RH hitter off the bench, Hope that Andruw Jones’ defensive value was highly overstated

With their recent acquisition of Mr. Jamie Kotsay to patrol centerfield, the Atlanta starting lineup appears to be set. We can quibble with the top of the order a bit, as we’re not quite sure how Yunel Escobar will perform in his first full year, but aside from that, it’s a more than solid crew. Chipper Jones had a very underrated 2007 campaign, Mark Teixeira gets his first fulls season in the National League, and LFer Matt Diaz turned some heads as well, especially against lefties. Despite the absence of Andruw Jones - let’s face it, Jones wasn’t that much of an offensive asset in 2007 anyhow - the Braves offense looks strong enough to duplicate their success from last year, when they scored 810 runs (3rd in NL). They could use another right-handed bat off the bench (no, Omar Infante doesn’t count), however, as Scott Thorman, Brandon Jones, and Josh Anderson all bat from the left side.

However, Mark Kotsay himself will never be able to replace Andruw Jones, especially with the glove. And it’s the all-important preventing of runs that may pose to be a problem for the Atlanta Braves in 2008. Their top-two starters, John Smoltz and Tim Hudson have the ability to match up with pretty much anyone aside from the Arizona duo. After them, however, it’s completely a crap shoot. By the end of 2007, Tom Glavine had nothing to rely on aside from his famous changeup, and even that was losing effectiveness since his fastball had dipped to the low 80s. I’m also not sold on Chuck James yet either, as his rather successful year was largely due to the defense behind him (his fielding independent ERA was 5.41). The ultimate wild card, however, is the status of Mike Hampton. The far-too-often-injured lefty had yet another set back in his continued recovery from elbow surgery after straining a hamstring on a rehab assignment down in Mexico in November. The Braves did, however, have the foresight to gain some solid pitching depth, as Jair Jurrjens remains a viable option.

The Atlanta bullpen has some questions as well. I think Rafael Soriano will do just fine in the closer role, but who will bridge the gap? Can Peter Moylan duplicate his surprisingly effective (1.80 ERA over 90IP) 2007 campaign? How effective will Mike Gonzalez be following Tommy John surgery and how soon can he return?

Moving forward, I’m interested in seeing how much of an impact Andruw Jones had on the Atlanta pitching staff. It’s been over a decade since the Braves had this to worry about, and although Kotsay has been a capable defender in the past, his recent back surgery and age (32) could affect the pitching quite a bit. Smoltz, Glavine, and James are all flyball pitchers (James is extremely so), and are the most likely to miss a top flight centerfielder they could rely on.

Florida Marlins - The Ability to Stop the Arbitration Clock, pitching, pitching, third baseman, pitching.

We knew going into the offseason that the Florida Marlins had to do something. Two of their most recognizable players, Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis, were approaching arbitration and were going to get mighty expensive. But they surprised everyone by trading both these guys away in the same deal.

But the clock now starts again for the Marlins and herein lies a potential problem. Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla, Jeremy Hermida, Mike Jacobs, Scott Olson, Cody Ross, and Josh Willingham have all completed their second year of MLB-service. Players can become arbitration eligible after three.

Problem.

Another interesting subplot to the current Marlins team is how far their pitching has fallen over the past year. Dontrelle Willis was supposed to be a superstar. Never happened - at least not in Florida. Josh Johnson was supposed to be his trusty sidekick. He’s out the entire year most likely, following Tommy John surgery. Scott Olsen was supposed to be the great accompaniment to Willis and Johnson who would also get into fights with Miguel Cabrera. Instead, Olsen was the guy with a 5.81 ERA who would also get into fights with Sergio Mitre. And Anibal Sanchez was Mr. Perfect Game. He spent most of the year in the minors. It really wasn’t that long ago that the young Marlins staff looked like the future of MLB. Remember, kids: TINSTAAPP (there is no such thing as a pitching prospect).

Another thing they need to get sorted is their third base situation. Alfredo Amezega, Jose Castillo, and Jorge Cantu look to battle it out for the starting gig in spring training. But I have to wonder - why not move Dan Uggla over to third?

It’s not all bleak, however. The Marlins did get two worthwhile prospects from Detroit in that Cabrera-Willis deal. Both Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller will get the chance to prove themselves at some point in 2008.

New York Mets - A Quick Start, Ace Pitcher, Let Youth Develop

Well, there wasn’t much that the New York Mets needed to do. After all, this is the same team that cruised into the postseason, maintaining the seven game lead they had in mid-September over the Philadelphia Phillies, and went on to dispatch all who were in their way en route to the franchise’s third World Series Championship ever.

But everyone else wants to tell me that none of that happened. Including my shrink. Fine. For the purposes of this post, I’ll pretend that the Mets failed to hang onto their huge lead over the last three weeks of the 2007 season. Are you happy? Seriously, the things I do for you people…

Since I have no soul, I don’t really believe that momentum exists in the context of a baseball season. With that said, I still think it’s important that the Mets get off to a strong start. If they falter early on, the NY media will be absolutely relentless. Of course, the only way they can really silence doubters would be if they could build a lead going into September (a big “if” at this point) and maintain it this time around. But a good April will spare me the team from having to read about “the collapse” to the point where I they have to swear off reading anything for all of eternity.

Additionally, sometime before Opening Day, the Mets, Yankees, Red Sox and Twins need to piss or get off the can when it comes to Johan Santana. Despite Pedro Martinez’s successful return towards the end of last season, the Mets still lack someone they can call their ace. Oliver Perez took a couple steps forward in 2007 but he’s still a box of chocolates. John Maine also showed improvement, but he must continue to limit walks and homeruns. Neither of them can yet be considered as more than mid-rotation arms with some room to grow. Pedro should no longer be considered an “ace pitcher” since we have no idea if he can sustain himself over 100+ innings, let alone 200. IF the Mets end up with Santana (another big “if”), this will allow the team to potentially put Orlando Hernandez in the bullpen, which in my mind would be ideal as it allows the Mets to not rely on Jorge Sosa to do much of anything.

Lastly, this isn’t necessarily something they need in 2008, but for the sake of 2009 and beyond, I’d like to see the Mets have a better organizational philosophy when it comes to managing their younger players. As a franchise, the Mets have historically rushed their prospects to the big leagues and 2007 was no exception. Carlos Gomez has the talent to be sure, but had no business playing on a team that needed to win every game possible to make the playoffs. Both Mike Pelfrey and Phil Humber were not considered “Major League ready” when they made their respective debuts either.

Of course, this is a total moot point if Johan Santana becomes a Met. Last I heard, the Twins were actually asking the Mets to include the entire cities of New Orleans, Binghamton, Savannah, Brooklyn, and St. Lucie in the deal (they didn’t want Kingsport).

Now I’ll go back into my world where I wear my Championship T-Shirt proudly.

Philadelphia Phillies - RH Bat, Starter not named Adam Eaton. Relief Pitching

And I’m back in reality. The 2007 NL East Champs should have no problems scoring runs in the coming season. They led the National League in runs scored (2nd in MLB) and the lineup remains largely intact. While there is no such thing as a sure thing, the big three of Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, and (ahem) MVP Jimmy Rollins come close. And Pat Burrell will continue to be denied his just praise by the Phillies fanbase. The only real change in the lineup comes in the form of Geoff Jenkins, who will most likely get the bulk of the time in RF, while Shane Victorino moves to Center to replace the departed Aaron Rowand. I was a bit surprised by the Jenkins deal, as I thought that the Phils were already loaded with hitters capable of hitting from the left side. Howard, Utley, Greg Dobbs, Rollins, Victorino, and now Jenkins are all either lefty or switch hitters, leaving only Carlos Ruiz and Pat Burrell hitting from the right side during most games. Jayson Werth should see some time in lieu of Jenkins against lefty pitching, but I do wonder if they should get an additional righty capable of swinging the bat (which incidentally leaves out Wes Helms).

I do have to admire the Phillies for obtaining Brad Lidge from Houston on the cheap. This has of course allowed the team to move Brett Myers back into the rotation, and he and Cole Hamels should be a formidable duo atop the rotation. However, much like Atlanta, the rest of the rotation needs work. UmpBump writer Coley has already expressed his slight-discomfort-inducing love for Kyle Kendrick, but I’m one of the naysayers. So far in his brief MLB career, he hasn’t induced nearly enough groundballs (1.55 GB/FB ratio) to make up for the fact that he strikes out far too few (3.8K/9IP. 3.8!!!) . His peripheral stats project him as someone who should have an ERA in the mid-to-high-fours. I do expect Jamie Moyer to be slightly better than he was in 2007, but this does assume that his magic anti-aging powder was not discontinued. Plus, Moyer had an ERA over 5 last year, so “slightly better” in this context doesn’t have much weight. But compared to Adam Eaton, I’ll take Kendrick and Moyer any day. Here’s a general rule of thumb: bringing an extreme flyball pitcher into an extreme homerun hitters’ park is generally a bad idea (only two more years and $16.135 million to go, Phils fans!). At this point, Chad Durbin would most likely be the safer option.

While I still have faith that Brad Lidge can be a fine closer, I do wonder about this team’s bullpen. Tom Gordon (can we stop calling him Flash now?) is no longer reliable, and they have no viable lefty option after J.C. Romero. Will someone step up?

Washington Nationals - Trade away Dmitri Young and/or Nick Johnson, Find trade partners for Chad Cordero and Jon Rauch, Pray for John Patterson’s health

The Nats were one of my favorite offseason stories to watch, since they finally appear to have a sense of direction. They acquired Lastings Milledge and 2007 Douchie Award winner Elijah Dukes in trades that could both potentially end up as steals for the Nationals. With Austin Keans and Wily Mo Pena, they actually will have a decent, young outfield in 2008. I fully expect Ryan Zimmerman to have a bounce-back year as well. A few more young prospects and the Nats may actually be in business. They must know that they have no shot in the immediate future, and I love that they’ve begun to create something that could bear fruit in a few years.

With that in mind, I’m surprised that no one is yet to offer something that convinced Jim Bowden to trade away both Chad Cordero and Jon Rauch. Those two are prime candidates to used as bait to acquire some B-level young pitching. I also do wonder what the team intends on doing once Nick Johnson returns. Neither he nor Dmitri Young are really capable of playing elsewhere, so I assume at least one of them will have to go.

I also think that one issue that is getting overlooked is the health status of John Patterson, who was clearly not right the past two seasons. But back in 2005, he looked to be “top-of-the-rotation” material, sporting a 3.13 ERA along with a 8.7K/9IP over 198 1/3 innings. It’s most likely asking far too much to think he can immediate return to those numbers following surgery on his pitching arm back in September, but a glimpse of that former self should give hope to the future of Nationals pitching.

I’ve been absent from this here blog, and you can thank the horrendous thing that is Strep Throat for that. Fully recovered, I figured the best and easiest way for me to come back into action was a good ol’ “Random Links” post. Of course, with all these antibiotics, doctor’s visits, and so on, I couldn’t stay away from the medical theme. Well, O.K., a dentist is not necesarily a doctor, but I digress.

• Some weirdo in San Francisco is going to “lifecast” from this year’s All-Star game. This is the story of a sad man who happened to watch to many ears being eaten alive by Mike Tyson. The same man whose “only claim to fame” was his attendance to the game where Barry (or is it Brian?) Bonds hit his record-setting 73rd home run of the 2001 season. He was a few rows behind the guy that caught the ball (and the other guy that sued him for it). Now he wants to hook up to a webcam and a wireless laptop to beam his life to all and all. No matter that justin.tv (left) is now broadcasting 11 different channels, and that Justine Ezarik is a girl, who’s blond, and is also doing the same thing. No, Dr. Doug: Baseball Hunter will be different. (Never mind that the actual lifecast of the game will be blacked out, and that Dr. Doug, a dentist, has to check back with his disapproving wife and root canal patients).

• It doesn’t matter that you’re the youngest player to reach the 100 home run mark. You gotta get educated.

• And speaking of Brian, er, Boris, I mean, Barry, Dontrelle Willis isn’t scared that the Marlins could be the team against which Bonds hits big seven-five-six.

• Hmmm. The Twins’ new stadium may end up costing people in Minnesota (aka, taxpayers) a bit more than anticipated. About $8 mil more $10 mill more, and all thanks to those $320-an-hour attorneys. Don’t they know why the A’s continue to lead the way when it comes to…ugh, you know what I mean.

• For a minute there, Jason Bergman found comfort in knowing that all those sharpshooters scattered throughout RFK stadium where there for protection. Too bad his offense didn’t do the same, the Nats lost 4-2.

• This isn’t the Adam LaRoche of old; his aggressive attitude is paying dividends for the Pirates. His production his up, his average is up, he’s even swinging at 3-0 pitches. I wonder…

• And forget Polow Da Don, everybody knows “THE KING” of white girls is Chase Utley.

Mets: The Mets have a lights-out closer (Wagner), an MVP candidate (Reyes) and several big bats (Beltran, Delgado, Wright). So they really don’t need much.

Coming into the season, the Mets biggest worry was their aging starting staff. It still is. Tom Glavine has been marching dutifully towards 300 wins, but one has to wonder how long he can keep it up. Oliver Perez has been surprisingly good, if inconsistent. Orlando Hernandez has spent a good bit of time on the DL. This staff might be enough to get the Mets to the playoffs, but it’s hard to imagine these guys will lead them to a World Series championship. There’s no ace on this staff. But there could be if Dontrelle Willis became available and the Marlins got interested in Lastings Milledge.

Braves: After an encouraging start to the season, times are suddenly tough for the Bravos. Their best reliever to this point, Mike Gonzalez, will need elbow surgery and is lost for the year. Tim Hudson, who was unhittable in April, has been very hittable in May. Andruw Jones has been a shadow of his former self. And Chipper Jones managed to injure both hands on the same play — and there wasn’t even a piano or anvil involved.

If the Braves are going to catch the Mets, they need a healthy Chipper and a robust Andruw. But most of all, they need their starting pitching to step it up. Smoltz needs his latest injury to be minor. Hudson needs to rediscover his confidence. And Chuck James (I’m Chuck James, Bitch!) and Kyle Davies need to pitch up to their abilities.

Phillies: It’s no secret that the Phillies’ Achilles heel is their bullpen. Tom Gordon is out. Brett Myers may be lost for the year as well. So what’s a GM to do? Pray, for starters. And then try to pry David Weathers from the Reds, and sign the newly unretired Troy “I’m not dead yet” Percival.

Marlins: This young squad isn’t going anywhere this year. But if you’re a Florida fan, the future is bright. Hanley Ramirez, Josh Willingham, Miguel Cabrera — these guys are for real.

The fish are a few bullpen arms and some veteran experience away from a string of playoff births. The Marlins tried to trade for a closer earlier in the season, but ended up with an injured Jorge Julio. The time might be right to trade SP Dontrelle Willis. Hitters seem to have figured him out. The Marlins need a top of the rotation pitcher. Whether that comes in the form of a reinvigorated Willis or a free-agent acquisition, it needs to happen.

Nationals: I mean, let’s be honest, the Nationals need help at pretty much every position. I don’t even know where to begin. So I won’t.