“Who would they replace me with?”

That’s what an annoyed Mike Mussina asked a reporter on Friday in Detroit. Following a terrible outing against the Angels last Tuesday night, during which Moose allowed nine baserunners (seven hits) and seven runs over 1 2/3 innings, the notion that the veteran with 247 career wins could lose his spot in the Yankees rotation became credible.

Last night, it became probable.

Against the Tigers, Mussina allowed ten baserunners (nine hits) and six runs over 3 innings. And this morning, every major New York paper seems to expect a change.

Make no mistake, Mussina’s current 5.53 ERA and 1.49 WHIP is not unjustifiably inflated by his recent string of three straight bad outings. There has been a season-long question as to whether not Mussina can perform any longer. His 2007 ERA has never been south of 4.50 following any of his 23 starts. His strikeouts have plummeted to 5.53 over 9 innings which is very much a cause for concern for a pitcher like Mussina who has had at least 7.11 K/9 over the past 11 seasons. His batting average against has jumped from .241 in 2006 to .313, largely due to the fact that he’s allowing more line drives (also due to the fact that he was lucky on balls fielded in play in 2006), which is a sure sign that hitters have your number. His slugging percentage against (.481) is the worst in his entire career. Perhaps most troubling in his case that he’s not walking hitters any more than he usually does. This means that it’s probably not mechanics. More likely, he just can’t cut it anymore.

His fastball has dropped to 86 mph, and hitters no longer have to anticipate it coming to be able to turn on it. This gives them the opportunity to anticipate the off-speed pitch all the time without having to worry about not being able to catch up if the heater comes their way. Moose needs the fastball to be around 88-90 to be effective, and in a game when 0.05 seconds is the difference between crushing a pitch and being behind it, it makes all the difference in the world.

So now the Yankees are forced to answer that very question that Mussina had asked reporters on Friday. Who can they replace him with? The Yankees cannot mess with a young arm like Joba Chamberlain who was already transferred to the bullpen after a career of starting in the minors. Kei Igawa has not proven to be any better than Mussina on his worst days. Prospect Ian Kennedy has turned some heads this year in AAA but at 22 years of age, he’s been put on an innings limit for the year and he’s approaching that figure already. Steven White is the most suitable candidate if a switch does indeed happen. White is older than most prospects (26) and isn’t projected to be long for the Major Leagues. But he is unproven in the bigs, which in this case, may oddly be a positive. When Mussina and Igawa have “proven” to be unable to perform for the Yankees down the stretch, the unproven may be their best option.

Yesterday morning as I arrived at the bookstore where I work, I clapped my hands with glee—a coworker was unloading fresh bundles of the New York Daily News, and on the back, the paper was chastising Mr. Yankee, Derek Jeter, for his childish “feud” with Alex Rodriguez, after A-Rod said Monday that the “blood brothers” were now just co-workers.

How disappointed I was this morning to see that Jeter had already made the inevitable, “No, we’re fine” comment. I thought we weren’t scheduled for a backpedaling until next week, Derek. What gives? I was looking forward to more erudite analyses like the following, from New York Post scribe Joel Sherman:

These have not been questions about his relationship with Jessica Biel or Mariah Carey or whatever starlet of the moment Derek Jeter was romancing.

When it comes to that, Jeter is right. His off-the-field associations have nothing to do with on-the-field results. Thus, he has decided to make them off-limits and I totally respect him for that.

But this was not about Page Six. This was about E-6, error on Jeter for malfeasance as a leader.

Ooh! Snap! What else you got, Joel?

Rodriguez attempted to recast the bond between the two and, perhaps, the power dynamics Monday when he admitted that their association had dwindled from “blood brothers” to “a working relationship.” It was, perhaps, a liberating moment for Rodriguez, a chance to stop having to act as if something existed that does not any more.

Jeter’s opportunity to take the cathartic baton came and went yesterday with the Yankee captain defiantly sticking to his cover story…

Cathartic baton! Quelle poesie!

Every story on this subject from the parking lots of New Jersey to the banks of the Hudson has focused on three storylines: Jeter isn’t doing his job as Captain where A-Rod is concerned; Jeter bailed out Jason Giambi when the slugger was caught using steroids, telling fans to cheer for him, yet leaves A-Rod to be booed mercilessly; and that all of this is starting to corrode Derek’s sterling reputation.

Won’t anyone come to Jeter’s defense? Won’t Mariah Carey or Jessica Biel or any of his other beards broads come to his aid?

Ah, wait….riding up on a white horse is none other than…Don Zimmer! Calling the negative press “a disgrace,” The Gerbil said of Jeter, “What do you want him to do? Put his arm around him and kiss him?” Given the frat-boy-humor t-shirts out there, Zim could have, perhaps, chosen his words a little better.

The irony about all of this is that A-Rod made his initial comments ostensibly to put to rest the incessant questions—which have swirled ever since that 2001 Esquire article—about the nature of his relationship with his “frenemy.” I say “ostensibly” because either A-Rod really is the PR naif he sometimes seems to be, with as many foot-in-mouth gaffes as John Kerry, or he is crazy like a fox. I can’t tell anymore. He started the interview saying, “I think it’s important to cut the [redacted]…You don’t have to go to dinner with a guy four, five times a week to do what you do. It [the relationship] is actually much better than all of you guys [the reporters] expect. I just want the truth to be known.”

Funny thing is, when I hear someone blurt out the T-word, I instantly suspect them of chicanery. So when, a few moments later, A-Rod innocently added, “People start assuming things are worse than what they are, which they’re not. But they’re obviously not as great as they used to be, when we were like blood brothers.” Well that’s a little passive-aggressive, don’t you think, Mr. I Just Want The Truth To Be Known. “The reality is, there’s been a change in our relationship over the past 14 years and hopefully we can put it behind us.” I can just see the wheels turning in the Yankee press corps’ collective brain: “So there IS something to put behind them! Aha!” But if A-Rod was trying to start trouble, then the question becomes: why? WHY? You’d think it would be the very last thing the beleaguered third baseman would want.

In other Yankees’ camp gossip, Bernie Williams is still MIA. The outfielder, who spent all 22 professional seasons of his career with the team, does not want to go to Tampa as a non-roster invitee, the only position the Yankees were willing to offer him this spring. But, of course, Jeter finds a way to make this story, too, about himself:

[Williams] has not returned calls from Brian Cashman, Joe Torre, [Jorge] Posada or [Mariano] Rivera. He did return Jeter’s call two days ago.

“He called me back,” Jeter said. “I’m not going to talk about what we talked about. I can’t relate to what Bernie’s going through. He’s been here what, over 20 years? Even I haven’t been here that long.”

Oh, hyuk hyuk hyuk Derek. You kidder.

At this rate, it’s a good thing that Mike Mussina and Carl Pavano have already cleared the air. Spring Training isn’t even a week old and there’s already more drama in the Yankees’ clubhouse than you’d find naturally occuring in a high school bathroom.

So the Social Security set of Major League Baseball continues to rake it in.

On the heels of the Dodgers throwing $18.5 million for two years at old-for-his-age Nomar Garciaparra (a rickety 33), other teams continue to add past-their-prime stars to their rosters.

Greying Mike Mussina (38) re-upped with the Yankees for a slightly less than he was making before ($23 million for two years, as compared with $88.5 million over six).

The Mets have hired Moises Alou (40) for the year, paying him $8.5 million for his services at the plate and in left field. And in a formality, they declined their option on Tom Glavine (41), who is vacillating between staying in New York and going home to Atlanta. Earlier this year, they re-signed Orlando Hernandez (41) and Jose Valentin (37), and added Damion Easley (37) to their bench. Next to fellow benchwarmer Julio Franco, these veterans all look like mere pups. The first baseman (and 1990 All-Star Game MVP!) is 48.

The Reds signed lefty reliever Mike Stanton (39) to a $5 million, two-year deal with a $2.5 mill option for 2009. And, of course, the Tigers earlier gave up young pitching for 38-year old Gary Sheffield, while rumors continue to swirl around 42-year old Barry Bonds.

That makes the biggest deal to get finalized this offseason, Alfonso Soriano’s $136 million with the Cubs, also the youngest. The infielder-turned-outfielder is just a couple months shy of his 31st birthday and will be 39 when his deal with the Cubbies runs out. (Though, as Nick pointed out, he hits like he’s ten years younger, so maybe the Cubs were just confused. Or drunk.)