Nick forwarded the above story to me yesterday. I read the headline and was shocked—SHOCKED. Joe Torre was trying to sabotage Andruw Jones! Then I read the article. Apparently, Torre was not, in fact, trying to derail his centerfielder. He was trying to get him “on track,” not “untracked.” After some anal bitching between Nick and myself, Nick turned up several more examples—it appeared that this word was being misused all over the world of sports journalism! (So why am I writing about it and not Nick? Nick said it was too anal, even for him. I have no such compunctions.) Behold:

“With Bedard back, McLaren can concentrate on getting the offense untracked.” (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

“Ortiz, Sox can’t get untracked.” (Worcester Telegram)

“It won’t matter what the pitcher’s name is when Ortiz gets untracked.” (Hartford Courant)

“The hitters seemed to get untracked a bit in the past week, so perhaps it’s now Sabathia’s turn to get it all together against the Royals.” (MLB.com)

Is the American rail industry in such dire straits (note: not dire ’straights’) that we’ve lost our ability to use the simple railroad metaphor, “get back on track”? As with many misused turns of phrase (note: not ‘terms’ of phrase), there’s some confusion about what “untracked” actually means. These sportswriters, if they’re thinking at all, seem to be mishearing “on track,” thinking it’s “untracked,” and confusing being on a track with being “stuck in a rut.” Thus, to get “untracked,” to them, is a good thing. (For similar mistakes, see: “Play it by year;” “For all intensive purposes;” “A mute point;” “A tough road to hoe;” “Sewing his wild oaks;” and “Tow the line.” You play something by “ear.” You don’t have “intensive” purposes, but intents AND purposes. It’s a moot point, not a mute one. If you’re hoeing a road, no wonder it’s so tough—trying hoeing that “row” instead. Likewise, it’s a lot harder to sew wild oaks than sow wild oats. And if you’re towing the line, what’s the line and where are you taking it? You might be better off “toeing” it.) But as the Language Log notes, the only entry in the OED for “untracked” is “not furnished with a track or path” and “not tracked or traced.” But I don’t think these writers mean that once Big Papi eludes his trackers, he’ll start hitting again.

The worst part is, the editors of these publications are either unaware of the problem or, where the term appears in a headline, even perpetuating it. (Kudos to Bob Costas’ producer, who seems to have shouted a correction into his earpiece after he slipped up in this clip.)

You know, lives aren’t at stake here. This is sports journalism. Maybe to some folks, that excuses such sloppiness. But I say, if it’s not well-written, what’s the point? Sports writing is like the dessert of the journalistic meal. It’s just empty calories, so if it doesn’t taste good, why eat it?

Here at UmpBump, he have something of a love-hate relationship with the “MSM.” (I even feel conflicted about using that acronym, hence the quotes.) It goes something like this:

Joe Posanski: love.

Jay Mariotti: hate.

You get the idea.

But a few weeks ago, when Murray Chass was pushed out by the New York Times, we here at UmpBump decided to say nothing. We actually [gulp] felt kinda sorta bad for the guy, almost. (Then he went and said how he hated bloggers because we had no qualifications, and in fact, “our wives could go on and do it if they wanted to.” I would pay good money to know what Mrs. Chass had to say about that quip.)

But now, a journalist I truly admire is being bought out by his ever-contracting newspaper. Gordon Edes is leaving the Boston Globe. For a good while now, Edes has been the best baseball writer at said paper. Edes’ byline always stopped me cold: “READ ME,” it commanded, and I willingly and happily obeyed. So upon hearing the news that Gordon was leaving, I promptly lost all hope for the Globe’s sports section, which, whatever else you may say about it now, inspired me to get into the baseball writing business when I was just a young lass reading the work of Edes, Peter Gammons, Will McDonough, pre-TV Bob Ryan, and pre-bitterness Dan Shaughnessy. Fellow Globie Jackie MacMullan, whose great interviews made her sports column a must-read, also took the buyout earlier this month, as did senior basketball writer Peter May (who is leaving in the middle of the Celtics playoff run, no less), making this an especially low time for the once-vaunted sports page. (The only good that could possibly come of this: a promotion for the talented and deserving Amalie Benjamin. Will this happen? Maybe. That is, if the Globe can’t find some other white-haired Irish-American dude to promote over her.)

But at least readers of Edes will not be totally forsaken; rumor has it that he’ll be joining Yahoo! Sports, which has been gaining ground on ESPN.com and is clearly looking to sustain that trend.

Welcome to the series of tubes, Gordon! We are glad to have you. As for the Globe…well, I suppose the good men of Gloucester need something to wrap their fish in.