So Bobby Jenks tied the MLB record for consecutive batters faced and retired. Former Giants pitcher Jim Barr held the record on his own, (he retired 41 straight and won two complete game shut-outs in the process). For one, Barr isn’t upset that Jenks could brake his record tonight.

On Monday afternoon, the former Giants pitcher didn’t seem too distressed by the prospect of imminent dismissal from the spot he has occupied in the major-league record book for 35 years. At least, that’s what he told John Smith, the head baseball coach at Sacramento State, where Barr has mentored the pitchers for the past 13 years.

“He called to see if I was in mourning,” Barr, now 59, said over the phone. “And I said no, I knew what was going on, but it doesn’t bother me.”

Well, at least us White Sox fans have something to root for, even if the team keeps losing in the process. We could cheer as Ozzie mounts a challenge to Bobby Cox’s newly-set record for ejections.

On with the links:

• Your 2006 Major League Baseball Comeback Player of the Year is injured… again.
• Dan Connolly of the Balitmore Sun is impressed by Scott Boras (and Boras, Inc. HQ).
• The Nats signed a high school pitcher that goes by the name of Smoker.
• Here come the St. Louis Cardinals to take over the NL Central, led by the feel-good story of the year in Rick Ankiel, and Cy-Young award candidate… Kip Wells?!
• The Indians are sellouts for selling Yankee memorabilia at the Jake. Hell Yea they sold out (and cashed in).

• Terrence Moore, the sports columnist for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution had a friendly chat with Jack McKeon. The former Marlins manager doesn’t think the Braves can win it all. Terrence, of course, doesn’t agree:

Although Jack McKeon is wrong about the next king of the National League East, the accomplished manager of yore is right about everything else along the way to the divisional throne.

Gee, Terrence, how can you be so sure the Braves will win the Pennant?

I mean, with apologies to McKeon, the Braves will overcome Andruw Jones’ microscopic batting average. They will survive the significant holes on their pitching staff. They will discover ways to have as much energy in the division against the little boys of Florida and Washington as they do against the big boys of New York and Philadelphia. They will return tonight to Turner Field against the San Francisco Giants after splitting six games on the road with the Mets and the Phillies to sharpen their focus for the stretch drive.

They will win the division.

Over the past 4 or 5 years, Nomar Garciaparra could always be counted on to do two things.  Hit like a maniac when he was healthy and not be healthy very often.

But this season Nomar is having a decidedly un-Nomar-like season.  As far as anyone can tell, he seems to be perfectly healthy, to everyone’s amazement, but he is also not hitting .350, also to everyone’s amazement.  He’s not even close.

As of this writing, Nomar is batting, .273 with a .313 on-base percentage and a .333 slugging percentage, which makes him one of the worst everyday first baseman in the Major Leagues. This past week he was even benched two games in a row in favor of James Loney.

It’s not that Nomar is slumping, particularly. He shows up every day and gets one hit every night. But he is hitting for no power, and not drawing any walks.  Not that Nomar ever drew many walks, but people tended not to notice that little fact back when he used to bat .350, giving him an OBP in the .380s.

All of which has us Dodgers fans wishing Nomar would get back to being the injury-prone masher he used to be.

Because you’d much rather have two amazing months with a first baseman OPS’ing over 1.000 and four months of DL than an entire year with a first baseman who posts an OPS of .646.

I have been waiting for this day ever since I heard Nomar Garciaparra, who was then the beloved shortstop of the Boston Red Sox, and Mia Hamm, who was then the idol of every soccer-playing girl in the Western Hemisphere (including this one), were an item.

Like two champion racehorses carefully selected for speed, agility, and bone strength, Nomar and Mia have produced two infants of prodigious athletic ability. The twins, whose dam surely spent the gestation carefully monitoring her intake of folic acid, calcium, and whey protein, are expected to hit .400, leap tall buildings in a single bound, and start speaking in about two years. With Garciaparra as their sire, however, doctors should carefully monitor their tendons.

From the AP:

LOS ANGELES –Former soccer star Mia Hamm, wife of Dodgers first baseman Nomar Garciaparra, delivered twin girls late Tuesday.

“Both are healthy and over five pounds,” Dodgers spokesman Josh Rawitch said, adding the births took place in the Los Angeles area.

While 5 lbs may not seem like much, we must take into account that at 3% bodyfat, the tykes are still in the 99th percentile for their age (1 day). Moreover, there’s nothing wrong with them that a little time and HGH won’t cure.

So the Social Security set of Major League Baseball continues to rake it in.

On the heels of the Dodgers throwing $18.5 million for two years at old-for-his-age Nomar Garciaparra (a rickety 33), other teams continue to add past-their-prime stars to their rosters.

Greying Mike Mussina (38) re-upped with the Yankees for a slightly less than he was making before ($23 million for two years, as compared with $88.5 million over six).

The Mets have hired Moises Alou (40) for the year, paying him $8.5 million for his services at the plate and in left field. And in a formality, they declined their option on Tom Glavine (41), who is vacillating between staying in New York and going home to Atlanta. Earlier this year, they re-signed Orlando Hernandez (41) and Jose Valentin (37), and added Damion Easley (37) to their bench. Next to fellow benchwarmer Julio Franco, these veterans all look like mere pups. The first baseman (and 1990 All-Star Game MVP!) is 48.

The Reds signed lefty reliever Mike Stanton (39) to a $5 million, two-year deal with a $2.5 mill option for 2009. And, of course, the Tigers earlier gave up young pitching for 38-year old Gary Sheffield, while rumors continue to swirl around 42-year old Barry Bonds.

That makes the biggest deal to get finalized this offseason, Alfonso Soriano’s $136 million with the Cubs, also the youngest. The infielder-turned-outfielder is just a couple months shy of his 31st birthday and will be 39 when his deal with the Cubbies runs out. (Though, as Nick pointed out, he hits like he’s ten years younger, so maybe the Cubs were just confused. Or drunk.)

Free agents are signing faster and earlier than ever before as teams look to lock up coveted players in what looks to be the hottest market in several years.

Sunday news broke that the Cubs signed Alfonso Soriano to a ridiculous 8-year contract worth $136 million that also reportedly includes a full no-trade clause. The Cubs probably feel grateful that they were able to get this year’s number one free agent for only $17 million per year when many were predicting he would command more than $20 million per, but I have to question tying the team’s fate to a player for that long when said player has yet to learn plate discipline at age 30 and is still living off his “young player” skills of speed and bat speed, yet will be 38 years old at the end of this contract. Once Soriano’s speed gives way and his bat starts to slow but he still doesn’t know how to take a walk, I can only imagine the Cubs will regret this contract. Unless they win a World Series or something.

Another scary contract that came down the pipe today was the Dodgers signing Nomar Garciaparra to a two-year, $18 million pact. Although Garciaparra won the Comeback Player of the Year award for sorta playing a whole season after years of injury woes, he certainly didn’t shake the “injury-prone” label this season, playing through serious injuries to his rib cage, oblique, and calf that all caused him to miss time and to hobble around even when he did play. And this was all with Garciaparra playing first base to avoid injury! What’s so scary about these injuries is that none of them happened on any specific play like a dive or a slide - they just sort of randomly cropped up for no reason. That is the definition of “injury-prone.” And with the Dodgers hoping to move Garciaparra back to third base (a more physically demanding position than first) to make room for prospect James Loney, we are likely to see many more strange muscle tears and ligament sprains troubling an increasingly brittle Nomar over the next two years.

From an MLB press release:

Nomar Garciaparra of the Los Angeles Dodgers and Jim Thome of the Chicago White Sox are the recipients of the 2006 Major League Baseball Comeback Player of the Year Award presented by Viagra® (sildenafil citrate), it was announced today.

Coincidentally, there was this other release:

While trying to leg out an infield single in Game 2 on Thursday night, Garciaparra partially tore his left quad muscle, which he had previously strained. He will try to be Kirk Gibson for the rest of this postseason, however, since he is unable to run — let alone start — Garciaparra will likely be limited to selective pinch-hitting duties. Teammates and club officials issued words of appreciation for his unselfish efforts.

For all you newbies, we here at umpbump have hinted at such a Gibson / Garciaparra allusion.

Honestly, though, I shouldn’t be hoping for such late-inning heroics if I want my predix [see previous post] to have any resemblance to what’s actually going on. So let’s not stretch things.

Btw; it seems my fellow umpbumers have taken a temporary leave, deciding to unilaterally assign all blogging duties to me. So, deal with it.

I really loved Nomar. Or, as we in Boston call him, Nomah. Or even as I sometimes call him in my dreams, Nomie. I do secretly suspect him of juicing (that SI cover bears no resemblence to the skinny prospect I first adored, and the man’s body today is basically held together with duct tape and silly putty where the connective tissue used to be). But still, I love. I love his hustle. I love his friendship with the late Ted Williams. I love that he’s married to Mia Hamm.

Then there’s Manny. While my love for Nomar was pure and trusting, my love for Manny is sick and twisted. I need him more than I like him. Why? Because without his bat—or an equivalent—protecting David Ortiz, in the words of Papi himself, “I won’t see a pitch. I wouldn’t even pitch to myself.” And while Manny—who’ll dive headfirst into a base but rarely attempts a diving catch—won’t make anyone’s list of top defensive outfielders, he does return the ball quickly from Fenway’s quirky left, barehanding the ball or transferring it from glove to hand with an infielder’s dexterity. Look, I know that he’s just not that into me, and yet I can’t let go. When Manny missed the All-Star game again this year, I excused it because I thought a) maybe he’s really hurt (yes it’s pathetic, the way we lie to ourselves) and b) so he’s skipping out on a meaningless exhibition game–he would never do that to me. Ha! Well hell hath no fury like a Sox fan scorned.

So I just have to say it: Manny, you asshole, Nomar WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THIS TO ME! Behold Manny Ramirez, spending the stretch hitting the showers, making cryptic comments, asking for a trade and getting clean MRIs done on his knee. So much for 2004’s World Series MVP.

Meanwhile, The One That Got Away is playing hurt and hit two walkoff homers in the space of a week to keep his team in contention. The first one? Completely crazy. The second? A grand slam! Almost as if to say, “So what if I can barely hobble around the bases? If I hit it out of the park, I can limp around as slowly and painfully as I want! Take that, haters!” Can’t walk? Hit a walkoff!

Oh, Nomie. Whatever happened to us?

And you, Manuel. Next year, you can quit on somebody else’s team and somebody’s else nickel. We’re through. For good!

Late tonight one of the most improbable games I ever heard of was played between the Dodgers and the Padres.

Let me back up a bit. The Padres had been chasing the Dodgers in the NL West for an entire month, edging closer and closer until they were only half a game back heading into this weekend’s climactic four game showdown.  Staying true to form, the Padres continued their dominance of the Dodgers this season in head to head matchups (13-5), taking two out of the first three games to finally overtake the Dodgers and snatch a half game lead going into Monday’s final game.

Things looked pretty normal for most of the game. In yet another closely fought contest, the Padres yet again were just a bit better than the Dodgers and eeked out a 6-5 lead heading into the ninth. In a desperation move, the Dodgers brought in their ace closer, Takashi Saito, to preserve the one-run deficit.  Whereupon Saito promptly melted down and let in 3 runs in the top of the ninth.

The Dodgers were now down 4 runs in the bottom of the ninth, and it was looking like a laugher and a 1 1/2 game lead in the west for the Padres.  But then, the Dodgers caught lightning in a bottle.  Jeff Kent and JD Drew hit back to back solo homers leading off the inning to narrow the gap to 9-7.  This against jon Adkins, who had only allowed one home run all season in 51 innings pitched.  Bruce Bochy now pulled Adkins and brought on closer Trevor Hoffman, who has been virtually untouchable against the Dodgers over his career - 55 for 57 in saves, 28 consecutive saves, had not blown a save against the Dodgers in five years. With the bases empty and still down two runs, things once again looked grim for the Dodgers.

But amazingly enough, the next two batters, lineup bottom-feeders Russell Martin and Marlon Anderson, each hit a solo home run as well against one of the greatest closers of all time.  Four consecutive solo home runs leading off the ninth to erase a four run deficit! Only the third time any team in major league history has hit four homers in a row! Ridiculous!

The Dodgers’ fans, notorious for leaving early, came streaming back in from the parking lots when they heard the volume of the cheers. 

However, no sooner had the game become tied, did Trevor Hoffman remember he was Trevor Hoffman and quickly retire the next three batters in order.

It was now 9-9. Extra Innings.

The Dodgers now had new hope, but it was immediately quenched when the Padres promptly scored a run of Aaron Sele in the top of the 10th inning to go ahead 10-9.

To the bottom of the 10th. Kenny Lofton works a 3-2 count and then takes an extremely close pitch and up comes Nomar Garciaparra. Yes, Nomar, who shouldn’t even be playing due to a torn ligament in his knee and a torn muscle in his calf, and hasn’t shown any life in his bat in months, and is barely above the Mendoza line since the All-Star break, but who somehow convinced Grady Little to let him start this game after having been benched for the past week.

So naturally he hits a game winning, walk-off, two-run home run.  Shades of Kirk Gibson, he is so hobbled that he can barely make it all the way around the bases on his own power.  Dodgers win, 11-10.  They lead the division once again by half a game.

Don’t go anywhere folks. At least out West, there is still a lot of baseball left to be played.

LOS ANGELES–In a last minuted trade deadline deal, the Disabled List reacquirered longtime fan-favorite Nomar Garciaparra today from the Los Angeles Dodgers in exchange for triple-A first base prospect James Loney.

Garciaparra had developed a devoted following among fans of the DL with memorable performances in several previous tours of duty, including a gorgeous wrist injury and a spectacular groin tear.

Garciaparra fills a hole in the Disabled List’s lineup with Derrick Lee likely to be forced back onto the active list any day now and longtime starter Dimitri Young having been dealt to the Tigers last week.

Meanwhile Loney, despite being a highly touted prospect, had put up feeble numbers this season, unable to produce even a single high ankle sprain let alone a career-threatening degenerative hip injury.

“Nomar has always performed well for us in the past, and we are happy to have him back,” said Disabled List GM Steve Phillips. “Although his injury production has declined a bit in recent years, we feel that he still has the ability to do some real damage to his body and help our team down the stretch.”

Although there is a chance that Garciaparra will only be a two month rental for the DL, as he is in a free agent year, Phillips indicated he was hopeful the team could resign Garciaparra to an extension before the end of the season.

Nomie made the All-Star team! Makes me want to get out old photos and think about how happy we were together.

I like to think this had a little something to do with a homegrown Fenway effort. After starting the season on the DL, Nomar is leading the National League with a .359 average. If he can stay on top, he’ll be the first player to win a batting title in each league in….well, on second thought, instead of giving it away, let’s make this a bonus trivia question. What the hell, I’m feeling giddy. When was the last time it happened and, for a cookie, who did it? No Googling!

So an all-around tip of the hat for Nomar. I suppose this just goes to show that every thorn has its rose.