Nobody drives people to the polls like Barack Obama, and nobody drives visitors to Umpbump like Jamie Kotsay. The hottest of Hot Baseball Wives is responsible for a serious chunk of our traffic. Is it any wonder why? When the Gods created Jamie, they broke the mold.

In fact, there’s only one thing wrong with her — she’s married.

But if Barack Obama has taught us anything, it’s that good can triumph over evil. That unity can triumph over partisanship. And that hope can triumph over fear.

So gentlemen, while it’s not likely Jamie will be your girlfriend anytime soon, you’re always allowed to hope — and ogle our seemingly endless supply of Jamie Kotsay pictures.

Today is inauguration day and to celebrate the occasion we’ll present the final two in our series of baseball-related Obamicons. First up is David Eckstein who, according to an in-depth study of grit, is the 11th grittiest player of all time, while his 2002 season was the second grittiest season ever.

What is grit? The aforementioned study looked at statistics like times hit by pitch, fewest number of intentional walks, and stolen base inefficiency. But the truth is, grit is one of those intangible qualities that is hard to define but, like pornography, we know it when we see it. And when we look at Ecktstein, we see grit. Lots of grit. And if there’s one thing we’ll all need to pull ourselves out of the mess our country’s in right now, it’s an Ecksteinian amount of grit.

Eckstein is the grittiest player of his generation because he’s white, he plays hard, he’s white, he’s short, and he’s white.

And what’s that all over his uniform? Is that dirt? Is it pine tar? Is it tobacco juice? No, baby. That’s grit.

Because we had some server issues this weekend, I didn’t get to post an Obamicon every day. To make up the Obamicon deficit, today and tomorrow we’re going to double up.

This afternoon’s Obamicon features Roger Clemens, whose name was mentioned 82 times in the Mitchell Report. His trainer, Brian McNamee, claims that during the 1998, 2000, and 2001 baseball seasons, he injected Clemens with Winstrol (the same drug they caught Ben Johnson using at the 1988 Summer Olympics).

In April 2008, the New York Daily News reported on a long-term relationship between Clemens and country music star Mindy McCready that began when she was 15 years old. For what it’s worth, McCready says the relationship actually began when she was 16, but they didn’t start doing it until years later.

Look, we all knew Clemens was a dick who didn’t like to carry his own bags, insisted on special treatment and couldn’t retire often enough. But for all his faults, he was always a tireless advocate of two things: hard work and family. What a fraud.

Maybe it’s not Carl Pavano’s fault that he hurt his shoulder in 2005, right after signing that $39 million, 4-year deal. Maybe it’s not his fault that, in 2006, he spent the entire season rehabbing a bruised ass. The car accident in August of that year that left him with two broken ribs? That’s just unlucky. Sure, he probably should have informed the team about the accident and the broken ribs, rather than show up for a minor league rehab start only to walk off the mound after a handful of painful pitches. But hey, nobody’s perfect. And surely it’s not his fault that in 2007, he went on the DL again with an elbow strain, and then had Tommy John surgery.

Don’t blame Pavano for his injuries. They could happen to anyone. But do blame him for his relationship blunders. You only get one chance with Miss South Beach, Carl. She was a hottie, and you let her get away. What a dope.

To celebrate the upcoming inauguration, each day we’ll post a different Obamicon, featuring one of our favorite baseball personalities. Today, we present Pat Burrell (take one drink).

The Phillies drafted Burrell with the first pick in the 1998 MLB draft and from day one his play (on and off the field) was such that fans were inspired to ask the question: man or machine?

While his patient approach at the plate led some to believe that Burrell was hard-wired, the tales of his numerous female conquests led me to a singular conclusion: Burrell is all man.

Everyone in Philadelphia — not just the ladies — will miss Burrell. He was a talented ballplayer with a gift for negotiating the city’s sometimes hyper-critical media and fickle fans. But above all, he was a hunk.

It’s exactly one week before Barack Obama is sworn in as president of the United States and here at Umpbump we’ve decided to mark the occasion with a series of Obamicons, which we created at Paste Magazine’s Obama.Me site.

Each day we’ll post a different Obamicon, featuring one of our favorite baseball personalities. Today, we’re featuring Manny Ramirez, who faked a knee injury in an attempt to pressure the Red Sox to trade him — all so he could become a free agent after the 2008 season, rather than wait two years and make $40MM in the meantime.

So far, Manny hasn’t found a team willing to sign a 36-year-old traitor with negative defensive value to a longterm contract. But he’ll get the big bucks eventually, right?