If America’s single young women have not been paying close attention, they will be greatly disappointed to know that Orioles right fielder Nick Markakis (or as Umpbumper Sarah Green prefers to pronounce it, “Nick Mmmmmmarkakis”), is no longer on the market, having married his wife Christina this past offseason.

The former Christina Dutko, of Boca Raton, Florida, graduated from Florida Atlantic University with a degree in Education, and worked as an elementary school teacher and professional cycling aerobics traner before moving north to Baltimore to live with Nick and raise their child, son Taylor, who was born on March 11, 2009.

On May 29, Nick and Christina announced the establishment of the “Right Side Foundation,” which will focus on improving the lives of underprivileged children in the state of Maryland.  No word on what will happen to the title of the foundation, a pun on the fact that Nick plays right field, if Nick ever switches positions.

More pictures after the jump…

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This past Friday, Nick wrote a post with the simple premise – if you can cut one person from each team in the National League, who would it be? And people got angry. Very, very angry. They called us names. They said that it was “the most pointless story I’ve ever read” and “one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read” and other “I’ve ever read” type comments. But they also said that “David Eckstein makes pitchers work so hard to get him out, that alone has value”. So we stopped paying attention after that.

Naturally, we’re back for more with the same premise applied to the American League. And if any of you brings up “leadership” as a reason Player X ought to stay, I swear to god, I will go back to my room in my mother’s basement, create an Everquest character that looks like you and destroy it.

Texas Rangers – Vicente Padilla: Starting off with an easy one here. From the moment the Rangers re-signed Padilla to a 3 year deal worth $33.75MM deal prior to the ‘07 season, it really was only a matter of time until this would end badly. In addition to posting poor numbers overall in Arlington, he’s had a poor reputation behind the scenes for years. The process for cutting him may have already started as the club put him on waivers this past week.

The Angels of The Angels  – Gary Matthews, Jr: Every time Matthews puts on a uniform, the Angels’ chances of winning seem to decrease. Another poor signing from the ‘06-’07 off season, Little Sarge has since posted a line of .248/.319/.386, which would be awful for a catcher, let alone for an OFer with a $50MM contract. If that weren’t bad enough, Matthews is also a sub-par defensive player, which should really make you wonder why the Angels haven’t cut the cord yet.

Seattle Mariners – Yuniesky Betancourt: When you have a starting shortstop who can’t hit, you tout his defense. When you have a shortstop who can’t hit or field, you have a big problem. Not only has Betancourt posted a .302 OBP in his career with little to no pop, he has also had a negative UZR (Ultimate Zone Rating) over that span. At 27 years old, we’ve already got a very good idea as to what kind of arc his career will take, and that arc is pretty damned flat.

Oakland A’s – Eric Chavez: It’s always sad when promising careers get derailed by injuries. But it’s worse when it drags on. Chavez has been off the field more than actually on it since 2007 and even when healthy enough to play, his performance has been on the decline since 2005. Having admitted that one more back injury would end his career, it’d be a great story if he were to show that he’s not done yet. Chavez is determined to do so, but one has to wonder if that’s actually in his best interest long term. I’m obviously not in a position to tell a player – especially one that’s only 31 years old – to walk away forever. But as a human being, I would hate to see his condition worsen and I fear that a return to the field will cause just that.

Detroit Tigers – Magglio Ordonez: If you consider this one to be heartless, I can’t really blame you since this is entirely driven by money. Magglio’s contract states that if he makes 213 more trips to the plate this year, his 2010 option worth $18MM becomes guaranteed (there’s a similar option for 2011). At this point in his career, Ordonez is not an $18MM player, nor is he all that close to that. His power is nowhere to be seen as he’s been unable to hit the ball into the air (56% of his batted balls have been grounders). I’m sure that the Players Association lawyers would have a field day with this cut though. Luckily enough, I don’t have to deal with such things (why can’t GMs cut players for financial reasons? I don’t get it).

Minnesota Twins – Alexi Casilla: While neither should be given a bat, both Carlos Gomez and Nick Punto at least have value as defensive replacements. And it’s probably too early to give up on a talent like Delmon Young, who really needs to learn how take ball four. But Casilla? The man has logged over 800 ABs in AAA and AA, during which time he has shown that neither his bat nor his glove is good enough to compensate for the other. His biggest asset as a minor league player was his ability to take a walk (which wasn’t exactly eye-popping to begin with). But thus far in his MLB career, Casilla has only gotten on base 30% of the time while slugging .318. Unless you’re saving dozens of runs with the glove, it’s impossible to swallow that. Sure, he’s still cheap. But there are better options out there for the same cost.

Chicago White Sox – Jimmy Gobble: Gobble has pitched in parts of seven major league seasons thus far in his career and his ERA in those years reads thusly: 4.61, 5.35, 5.70, 5.14, 3.02, 8.81, and 7.00 (so far in ‘09). Them’s ain’t pretty. Presumably, he keeps finding work because he’s a lefty. Problem is, lefties have a line of .266/.323/.460 against him so he’s not even useful against them. So I ask you, why does this man have a job? And for the record, I could have also picked anyone who has logged an inning in CF this year for the South Siders. But I’d be damned if I could pick one.

Kansas City Royals – Jose Guillen: I really could’ve put every Royal who’s 26 years old or over (not named Gil) into a hat for this one. Sidney Ponson? Absolutely. David DeJesus? If the man did not bat lefty, he may not have a job in baseball (kids, learn how to bat from the left side). And while I’m no Mike Jacobs fan (and Kila Ka’aihue is clearly more than ready to replace him as DH), he could at least serve as a cheap power bat off the bench.  Guillen, however, is by far the highest-paid hitter on the team and puts up numbers that simply aren’t good enough to let you ignore the headaches he causes within the clubhouse. And while he’ll continue to be among the top RBI guys on the Royals (which says more about the Royals lineup than it does Guilen) due primarily to his spot in the batting order, his glove gives up as many runs as his bat creates. If I were a Royals player, I’d probably resent the fact that the highest paid guy doesn’t offer much in terms of production nor seems to give a rat’s ass.

Cleveland Indians – Jeremy Sowers: In Single-A, Sowers struck out an impressive 9.5 batters per 9 innings pitched. In AA, that number dropped to a still-respectable 7.7. In AAA, down to a slightly worrisome 5.8. Notice a trend here? Then it really should come as no surprise that in the Majors, Sowers is striking out merely 4.1/9IP in the 300+ innings he’s logged. When you miss so few bats, batted balls tend to find the outfield grass more often (or worse). He had success in his rookie year winning 7 out of his 14 starts to go along with a 3.57 ERA. But his peripherals were poor (3.6 K/9IP, .259 BABiP), and therefore no one should be surprised to learn that his career ERA has been trending down ever since. Sowers just doesn’t seem to have the stuff to consistently get guys out at the big league level. And Cleveland would be better off giving someone else – anyone else – a start in his place.

Boston Red Sox – Julio Lugo: Take it away, Sarah Green!

New York Yankees – Angel Berroa: If you’re a SS, one good season buys you a career of job security as a utility infielder. Back in 2003, Berroa popped 17 dingers and has been living off that accomplishment ever since. Problem is, the man seems to have no idea how to play 3rd base, where the Yankees have been using him as a backup. Lord knows that you’re not keeping the guy around for his offense (career weighted-OBP of .297). So if he can’t do the job you’re asking him to do, why are you keeping him around at all?

Toronto Blue Jays – Kevin Millar: I initially had Vernon Wells here, but  after posting great numbers upon his return from a hamstring injury last August, he deserves a chance to prove once again that he’s not done (though moving him to LF IMMEDIATELY is a good idea). So I decided to go with a less controversial pick in Millar, a guy who looks to be about done at the age of 37. Sure, he may be entertaining in the clubhouse, but so’s the equipment manager (see enough jockstraps and I’m sure you develop a sense of humor). Millar’s defense is not nearly good enough to justify using him as a defensive replacement, nor is his bat useful enough as a pinch hitter. I’m sure it’s not easy to cut guys you like as human beings. But the point of the game is to win and Millar doesn’t help you accomplish that goal.

Tampa Bay Rays – Troy Percival: With a fastball that barely hits 90-91 mphs these days, Percival’s days as a reliable reliever are gone. In his younger years, his teams could live with him walking roughly 4 batters per nine innings because he struck out so many more. Nowadays, that’s getting harder and harder as his body begins to break down (Now go back and reread this paragraph replacing Percival’s name with Jason Isringhausen’s. Still makes perfect sense).

Baltimore Orioles – Mark Hendrickson: Centuries from now, when historians discover that there used to be a sport called “baseball” (and that there used to be something called “land”, but that’s another topic), I’d like to think that they’ll stumble across Hendrickson’s career numbers and immediately think “Holy %(*@ing mother of God! How the ^!#* did this guy keep finding teams willing to pay him &*($-loads of money?” With Scott Elarton still unsigned, Hendrickson has the highest career ERA (5.10) of any active pitcher who has logged over 800 innings or made 125+ starts. And the NBA community is forever left wondering how good this career 41.6% shooter could have been… (Here’s a hint. Not very.)

Ya got any problems with these, punk? Well, do ya? That’s what the comments section is for. Just remember. I can annihilate you in Everquest.

It’s graduation season! A lot of honors handed out (unless you’re Obama).

So what better time to tackle a topic like Albert Belle’s Hall of Fame candidacy? No better time, says I.

There are two ways to get into the Hall: You’ve got to be very good over a long peroid of time and rack up counting stats, or you’ve got to be dominant.

The chief knock against Belle’s HOF case is that he didn’t play long enough, and therefore didn’t reach any of the milestones that equal automatic HOF induction. No 3,000 hits. No 500 home runs. No 1,500 runs batted in.

But he was pretty dang dominant.

Belle played 12 seasons, longer than Kirby Puckett, Sandy Koufax, and Ralph Kiner. He didn’t quit because he couldn’t hack it. He was forced out by an arthritic hip. He played in 10 full seasons (and parts of two others) and during that peak decade he averaged 37 HR, 120 RBI and a roughly .360 OBP. In 1995 he became the first player to hit 50 doubles and 50 home runs in a season. Even in his last season, when he was hobbling around the bases, he hit .281 with 23 HRs and 103 RBI.

Belle had a better OPS+ than Harmon Kilebrew, Reggie Jackson, Ken Griffey, Jr., and Jim Rice (even if you ignore Rice’s pedestrian final three seasons). And if you’re interested in hardware, Belle made five all-star teams and won five Silver Slugger awards and surely should have won the 1995 AL MVP, except the voters hated him and instead awarded the MVP to Mo Vaughn, who had vastly inferior stats.

I’m not gonna blow smoke up your butts. I know Belle isn’t a slam dunk Hall of Famer. But surely he deserved better than the 3.5% of the vote he got in 2007, which was not enough to even merit another year on the ballot. When Belle retired in 2001, NY Daily News bloviator Bill Madden famously wrote:

Sorry, there’ll be no words of sympathy here for Albert Belle… Belle was a surly jerk before he got hurt and now he’s a hurt surly jerk… Belle’s boorish behavior should be remembered by every member of the Baseball Writers Association when it comes time to consider him for the Hall of Fame.

And they did.

Of course Belle was a jerk. But I don’t care about that. Count me among those who think the Hall of Fame should get rid of its character clause. Sports writers, as Joe Posnanski says, should not be in the business of making character judgments.

Belle should be measured by his on-the-field achievements, and they were numerous.

This is one of a series of posts in which we call out all 30 teams for their wily offseason moves and tragic offseason blunders..

Most of us (myself included) have gotten used to thinking of the O’s as sad little warblers who resent their neighbors to the north – those hordes of Fenway Faithful who invade Camden Yards when the BoSox are in town and who lured then-first baseman Kevin Millar to throw out a first pitch in Massachusetts when his work address was in Maryland.

And it’s true that the Orioles have just wrapped up their own “Lost Decade” – ten years of under-.500 ball. But could that finally be about to change? Last winter’s trades of Miguel Tejada and Erik Bedard showed that Baltimore had finally gotten serious about rebuilding. They now head into 2009 with enough young talent to leave Orioles fans legitimately excited – and to give road-tripping Bostonians something to look forward to besides crab cakes.

Take a look at the outfield: in right, there’s 25-year old Nick Markakis, signed to a 6-year deal after a season in which he OBP’ed .406 and hit 20 homers. Center and left will largely be manned by 23-year old Adam Jones and 24-year old Felix Pie, respectively, both players who still have a lot of upside.

The infield looks positively ancient by comparison, where the only regular under the age of 30 is newly acquired shortstop Cesar Izturis, 29, who will bring stability, speed and defense to a position that, last year, saw six players. Though Gregg Zaun will begin the year as Baltimore’s backstop, he’s only holding the plate down until 22-year old uberprospect Matt Wieters comes up from Norfolk. Wieters is the kind of hotly anticipated rookie who makes a scout whip out his thesaurus to look for new adjectives. He’s hands-down the top pick in every prospect listing I’ve read this winter. The only reason he won’t start the season with the team? Because calling him up later will let the team control him one year longer.

However, Brian Roberts and Ty Wigginton are 31, Aubrey Huff is 32, and Melvin Mora is 37. The O’s tried to trade Roberts last year, but couldn’t get a deal done and spent this spring trying to sign him to an extension.

And yet there’s one question that continues to hound the team’s front office: Who is going to pitch? Given that Jeremy Guthrie is their only solid starter, many baseball observers were surprised (to put it politely) when the O’s made a run at free-agent first baseman Mark Teixeira this winter. Shouldn’t they be targeting hurlers instead of hitters? But looking ahead, Baltimore’s farm system is loaded with arms – and while there won’t be a critical mass of them ready to give you 200 innings for a couple of years yet, the Orioles believe in them sufficiently to be more concerned about building up their offense at this stage. And they should be – after Wieters, their farm system is light on impact bats. So in the meantime, while they wait for their young arms to mature, they’ve taken a flyer on erstwhile Japanese ace Koji Uehara, and hope they can salvage something from the rusting hulks of Mark Hendrickson and Rich Hill.

With a lineup built around Wieters, Markakis, Roberts, and the incredibly under-appreciated Aubrey Huff, Baltimore is just waiting for their young pitchers to come into their own. There’s more work to be done – finding another bat, shoring up the bullpen, and finding ways to further improve the defense, but it’s a nice start.

Offseason Grade: B

Acquisitions: OF/IF Ryan Freel, C Gregg Zaun, OF Felix Pie, SS Cesar Izturis, IF Ty Wigginton, P Koji Uehara, P Mark Hendrickson, P Rich Hill, P Adam Eaton

Losses: C Ramon Hernandez, P Daniel Cabrera, P Garret Olson, OF Jay Payton, 1B Kevin Millar, OF Adam Loewen

Projected Lineup, Rotation, and Closer:

2B Brian Roberts
CF Adam Jones
RF Nick Markakis
1B Aubrey Huff
3B Melvin Mora/Ty Wigginton
DH Luke Scott
C Greg Zaun (with Matt Wieters taking over soon-ish)
LF Felix Pie
SS Cesar Izturis

SP1 Jeremy Guthrie
SP2 Koji Uehara
SP3 Rich Hill
SP4 Matt Albers
SP5 Adam Eaton/Mark Hendrickson

CL George Sherrill

- Hot Offseason Index -

Is Kevin Millar still in baseball anymore? Who knows? Once you join the baseball black hole known as the Baltimore Orioles, your career is kind of over either way.

But if Millar is on his way out, we thought we’d send him off on his way by honoring the hotness of his wife Jeanna (pronounced like “Gina”).

Gina on the right, Michelle Damon on the left

To say that the Orioles pitching staff was decimated in 2008 – not by injuries but by opponents’ bats – would be an understatement. Going into the season, the team knew that they would not have reliever Chris Ray for the entire year following Tommy John surgery. But for the most part, the Orioles were healthy in 2008. They just weren’t very good.

As a team, they gave up 5.4 runs per game (13th of 14 AL teams), struck out a meager 5.5 batters per game (last in AL) and walked 4.1 (last again). Opponents hit 184 HRs (last) and had a statistical line of .277 (13th)/.361 (13th)/.436 (12th). Beginning to see a pattern here?

Things have gotten so “interesting” that the team is reportedly considering putting Danys Baez into the rotation next year. I don’t think it will happen (I mean, try giving him 160 innings and you’re going to lose your job), but it acts as a microcosm of their current situation.

As it now stands, the only pitcher with a guaranteed spot in the rotation is the oft-ignored Jeremy Guthrie. I do think that the arbitration-eligible Daniel Cabrera ought to be there as well, although I am no fan (where did those strikeouts go?). The moment a half-way decent offer is made for him the Orioles should pounce. But until that time, Cabrera should keep getting the opportunity to drive up his own trade value.

Beyond that? Who knows. I really don’t. The trip of Garrett Olson, Brian Burres, and Radhames Liz combined for 65 starts and none of them had ERAs south of 6. At this point, I’m not entirely sure that this is even all that important just because there aren’t better options out there. The O’s are better suited going this route than signing mediocre free agents to long-term deals that will have no payoff.

However, there is one thing that the Orioles absolutely need – patience, especially with their prospects.

The group is led by Matt Wieters, the 22-year old catcher who has produced eye-popping numbers in Single and Double-A in 2008, en route to becoming perhaps the best prospect in all of baseball. Their young arms are led by Chris Tillman, who, along with centerfielder Adam Jones and reliever George Sherrill, was acquired in the foolish (for the Mariners) Erik Bedard deal and Brian Matusz, the 4th overall pick in the 2008 draft. Add in Nick Markakis and the aforementioned Jones and the Orioles have quite the solid base upon which to build.

Here’s the bad news, however. They play in the AL East. They’re up against financial juggernauts (Red Sox and Yankees) and neither of them were division champs in 2008. The Rays’ future has been mentioned so often that I think we’re all bored with them already. And I quite like the Blue Jays’ chances in a couple of years.

So where does that leave the Orioles? On the outside, I’m afraid for the next few seasons. However, this should suit the Orioles just fine for the time being. Ever since the organization hired Andy McPhail in June of 2007, we all knew what that meant – a slow development. And that’s exactly what they’re facing at the moment. But with a solid farm system, and a potential franchise player in right field (Markakis), the Orioles certainly aren’t hopeless. They just need to sit tight and look towards the future.

P.S. I will bet my life that Aubrey Huff will never, ever, ever win a Silver Slugger Award ever again. I mean, who saw THAT coming?

- What They Need Index -

The Orioles are currently in last place, seven games behind the first place Red Sox and two games under .500. And while most teams would get discouraged by a record like that, I think even the Orioles brass would admit that things could be a lot worse.

When your starting lineup features an aging Melvin Mora (who must be exhausted from raising all those kids), Kevin Millar (who should be filling in for John Kruk on Baseball Tonight by now), and Aubrey Huff (who loves Bubba the Love Sponge but hates Baltimore, hon), you know you’ve got a few holes to fill.

So, we can’t really talk about Baltimore’s needs by position. Outside of CF Adam Jones and RF Nick Markakis, Baltimore pretty much needs a complete overhaul.

They’re starting with the uniforms, but what the O’s really need is to continue the rebuilding effort that they started in the offseason, when they traded ace Erik Bedard for Jones. The next player to go should be Brian Roberts, who will never be more valuable than he is now. Roberts is a premier second baseman, for sure. But he’s a player whose value is closely tied to his speed. He stole 50 bases last season and is on pace for that many stolen bases this season. Think the 30-year-old will keep it up? Me neither. Baltimore needs to trade Roberts now, before he starts to slow down and his value drops precipitously.

We know the Cubs are interested in Roberts. As the deadline approaches, don’t be surprised to see the Mets or White Sox make offers. Baltimore should shop Roberts and then pull the trigger on a trade. Because while Roberts is quality, Baltimore needs quantity.

-What They Need Index-

Oh my God, it’s June. And it’s gorgeous outside. And you’re stuck inside! The cubicle walls are closing in on you! You struggle to breathe! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Don’t despair, gentle reader—just catch hold of this lifeline of links:

The Hardball Times posted a great piece on Johnny Cueto using PITCHf/x data. For those of you involved in fantasy baseball, it’s a must-read. For those of you interested in one of the most intriguing rookie pitchers to come up in a while, it’s also a must-read.

Royals Review has a fantabulous ode to light-hitting first basemen. Just a taste:

He wasn’t strong like an ox

And a pretty sweet mullet

Now THAT is must-read, my children.

Futility Infielder has an interview with 91-year old Marvin Miller, a former head of the players’ union, who respectfully requests he not be elected into the Hall of Fame, thankyouverymuch.

Stet Sports Blog thinks Ozzie Guillen should be fired.

Someone recommended I read this post at Sports Law Blog about media ethics. Frankly, I found the post a bit disappointing. It concludes, “I suggest the players unions and the leagues find creative ways to ‘deal’ with the media on terms that are mutually beneficial to both the participants and the media — in other words, cooperation and access in exchange for accuracy and privacy.” First, that bargain actually strikes me as the sleazy exchange that too often takes place in pro sports already. And second, privacy and accuracy don’t always go hand in hand. Spoken like someone with more perspective as a player or a lawyer (aha!), rather than someone who has actually tried to practice journalism.

John Smoltz reinvents himself yet again—and Shysterball can’t watch.

Another fun Slate article about baseball cards—specifically, the 1989 Ken Griffey Jr. Upper Deck card and how it compares (or doesn’t) to the T206 Honus Wagner.

The Loss Column prays for the new Orioles uniforms to stay classy, San Diego.

Razzball has an enlightening fantasy baseball glossary.

And Babes Love Baseball notes that in his last start, the Unit has tied the Rocket on the all-time strikeouts list. Who needs HGH when you have….mullet power!

I always like to read new things. Send me recommendations!