Every season, weird stuff happens. And this season is no exception.

Some of these mysteries are easily solved. Barry Zito, for example, was 2008’s biggest train wreck. Now he’s back, with his best FIP in four seasons, and his best K/9 since 2002. How’s he doing it? Turns out, he learned a slider.

Then there’s the formerly soft hitting Ben Zobrist, who is now a prolific slugger. What’s up with him? Turns out he took some lessons from a hitting guru.

Some mysteries are harder to crack. Here are a few of 2009’s unsolved mysteries. Can you solve them?

How is old man Ibanez this good? You don’t go from a .479 slugging to .716 at the age of 37. It simply isn’t done. What’s going on here?

How does Willy Taveras still have a job? He’s fast. I get that. But outside of his injury-shortened 2007, when he was 29 and at his peak, he’s never been as good as a replacement level center fielder. Now he’s 31 and declining and his OBP is .297.

What happened to Orlando Cabrera’s glove? Last year, his Ultimate Zone Rating was 14. So far this season it’s -7.6. That’s a drastic drop off. According to Fangraphs, Cabrera was worth $15.6MM in both 2008 and 2007. So far this season, he’s cost his team $3.3MM. It’s normal for a player’s range to diminish with age, but not this fast.

When did Marco Scutaro learn how to hit? Not only is the Blue Jays SS hitting for more power and better average, but his plate discipline is also much improved. In 2008 he walked 57 times. So far this season, he’s walked 56 times. That kind of patience is usually not learned over the course of an offseason.

Who are these Mets? Seriously, I’ve never heard of any of them. Argenis Reyes? Pat Misch? Where did they come from? You’re making Paul cry.

Has Billy Beane lost “it”? The A’s have been “rebuilding” for three years now and even with the acquisitions of Matt Holliday and Jason Giambi, this team looks to be getting worse.

What happened to Milton Bradley’s power? His isolated power currently stands at .138, which is his lowest mark since 2001 and is a full .1 lower than either of his last two seasons.

How is Brandon Inge doing this? We have no idea. But the Tigers 3B is on pace to hit 39 HRs with a .360 OBP (both would tower over his previous highs) while playing brilliantly on defense.

Why is Emilio Bonifacio still playing? Clearly, he has Marlins Manager Fredi Gonzalez’s mother tied up in his basement. That’s the only explanation.

What unsolved mysteries are you working on?

It wasn’t enough that we all had to be dragged through the Miguel Tejada ordeal by ESPN (yes, fine, big deal; but why make a spectacle out of it?), the Mother Ship from Bristol has decided to criss-cross the Caribbean from the sunny beaches of the Dominican Republic to the northern coast of Colombia to bring us the apparent bad blood between its two most prominent baseball players, Orlando Cabrera and Edgar Rentería.

According to an upcoming report in ESPN The Magazine (and published today at espn.com), there is rising animosity between the two shortstops originating in a business deal gone bad related to Colombian professional baseball, Cabrera and Rentería’s family.

To make a long story short, Cabrera bought the Cartagena franchise “Los Indios” last year from Rentería’s family business, Team Renteria (who runs the professional league down there) only to sell it right back after the short one-month season. Cabrera claims he’s owed money in from his cut of ticket sales, advertising and TV deals. Rentería alleges Cabrera bought the franchise only to run it into the ground out of what Rentería considers spite and jealousy; what’s more, he is saying:

“I won’t accept dealing with him. I think he’s disrespected so many baseball people in Colombia who have been working to improve the sport. And that’s not something I can accept, even with an apology from him.”

And…

“He wanted to buy one team so he could wreck everything that’s been done with the league,” Edgar says. “I think he did it out of malice. You should ask him what he has against the Renterías. For several years, people have told me that he’s jealous of me. People have always known me more in Colombia than him, and I think that bothers him.”

There are a couple of things that surprise me about this story; one of which isn’t ESPN’s gullibility in believing there is a story here. Just like in the Tejada case, they found a fissure and wedged their press pass deep enough to create a gaping void. Again, there may have been journalistic recency to the Tejada story, but ESPN was marketing the thing like it was a heavyweight title fight. And in this case, just as the White Sox are playing the Yankees in prime-time, and as Orlando Cabrera is at the plate, the TV anchors point to the story as it’s being published on ESPN’s website. What? Does ESPN get the final say in what’s news?

But again, that doesn’t surprise me.

What does surprise me is Rentería’s handling of this situation. In Colombia, baseball is an afterthought; it’s like Lacrosse, you know it’s there, but you think only college kids are playing it every now and then. The exception to the rule is Rentería’s name. Just like ESPN correctly points out, he became a celebrity after his game-winning hit in the ‘97 World Series. Hell, I was watching the game on public access TV in Colombia – There were three public channels back then. Unlike Rentería, Cabrera is lesser known, and that I dare say is a direct result of Rentería’s fame (and quite literally, Rentería was scouted by Cabrera’s father, who also gave the Expo’s Orlando’s older brother, Jolbert, before Cabrera himself made it to the big leagues).

Colombia’s major and most important daily, El Tiempo, relishes in Rentería’s success. Their coverage of Rentería’s career seems to imply that he is Colombian baseball. Check that, Rentería is Colombian baseball. If Rentería has a bad night, it’s news, if he hits a home run, it’s news. Ironically, just tonight as ESPN published their story, Rentería’s line at the plate sat under the “Grandes Ligas” headline (Major Leagues) on El Tiempo’s website (ironic also that El Tiempo was caught with their pants down, and in haste, after the embarrassment of being scooped, they decided to buy the story from ESPN and run a word-for-word translation).

Cabrera does gets some coverage, as he’s made a name of himself, mainly due to his leadership and gamer attitude. And he’s always mentioned every year when the Colombian media select the sportsman’ of the year. But make no mistake, ask any Colombian to name a ball player, and Rentería will be the overwhelming response.

So what does all this have to do with this squabble over the $25,000 Cabrera invested (keep in mind these two players make millions)? Nothing! And that’s why there’s no story here. ESPN makes it seem like because there just happens to be two Colombian ball players in the league, it’s news that there is some tension where one would assume would exist cordiality and friendship. What? Do all players from Hawaii have to get along? Canadians?

I don’t blame ESPN; the New York Times had a similar piece during the 2004 World Series (theirs was of the positive spin kind) that still commodified the difference these two ball players represent. And it’s a natural thing for the MSM to take a “cultural” angle to any story and run with it; but ESPN took it to the gutter.

Even after reading ESPN’s masturbatory story “Behind the story”, it’s still not clear to me how the reporter “discovered” it, or why it’s relevant to us. In fact, Team Rentería’s communication director, Fabio Poveda Ruiz, published an open letter on its website, criticizing the writer behind the story, Jorge Arangure, for various factual inaccuracies, and for relying on stereotypical descriptions of life in Colombia.

What is really sad, however, is Rentería’s handling of the situation. This is a personal matter between his family and his family’s business and Cabrera. It’s no secret that Rentería has had issues with being in the spotlight (main reason he got shipped out from Boston), but he didn’t have a choice in becoming the face of Colombian baseball, he simply was ordained by the nature of Colombian sports and sports journalism where idolatry supplants true, good-hearted sport fanaticism. In fact, it was because of his prominence amongst Colombians that I was able to land an interview with him for a magazine I work for here in Atlanta that caters to the Colombian community – instead of being open to the opportunity to engage, he asked me to get it over with quick after he took batting practice.

At the time I figured, hey, we’re a small magazine, I should appreciate any second I get. But it’s clear now; like many prominent Colombian sports figures, fame and fortune get to their head to a point where they forget what their role is. In this case, Rentería fell for the oldest trick in a reporter’s notebook. By speaking publicly about his problems with Cabrera, he dragged his fellow country man through the mud; Rentería says Cabrera is giving Colombian baseball a bad name, but what’s clear to me is that not even Yamid Haad, the next best Colombian prospect, who was suspended for using steroids, did as much damage as this “story” will.

It’s not secret that baseball GM’s have preferred business partners, and if we were to look at White Sox GM Kenny Williams’ track record, we could almost bet on the kind of trades he’d make.The past three years, for instance, he’s traded a starting pitcher (Garcia), a number of relievers (Gio Gonzalez, among others), a center fielder (Rowand), and a second baseman (Iguchi) to the Phillies in four different occasions.

Then there’s the knack for picking up former Yankee starters (Contreras, Hernandez, Vazquez, Wells).

One team Williams has negotiated with in the past, the Angels, just became another notch in his trade gun belt.

Williams sent Jon Garland to the Angels for short stop Orlando Cabrera and some cash.

By trading Garland to the Angels, Williams finally rid his team of one of its most dependable and consistent starters in the past three seasons to the team that really wanted him. As some of you may know, a Garland-to-Angels deal was in place in 2002 for a then all-star, Darin Erstad.

Of course, Erstad was picked up the ChiSox last year when the Angels wouldn’t find a spot for him.

But really, the crux of this trade is the cash the Angels are sending along with the original OC, Orlando Cabrera.

The White Sox have an opening at center, and there have been rumblings that Williams wants to pry Hunter off the Twinkies’ baggies in the Metrodome. (Williams does have a history of acquiring players once belonging to division rivals – See Colon, Bartolo). Here’s hoping we sign someone other than Hunter. Bringing back Rowand would be nice, but I feel he’d ask for too much money.Of course, there’s Andrwu Jones…hmm, then again, let’s just move on.

In reality, this deal was a must for Williams. The Tigers have already pulled two big trades with nary a month since the last out of the World Series.

Is Cabrera an upgrade over Uribe at short? Yes. Did the White Sox just sign Uribe to a $4.5 mil one-year-contract? Yes. Will Uribe continue to underachieve now that he’s bound for the utility role no veteran covets? Most Def.

Cabrera, however, is in the final year of his contract, which means the Sox might be simply be renting him for 2008. Which could also mean he’ll have a career year.

And then, what’s in it for the Angels?

After emaling back and forth, two UmpBump staffers said it best:

Coley Ward: I’m guessing Garland’s addition will allow the Angels to part with Colon and Ervin Santana.

Their staff would then look like this: Jered Weaver, Garland, Lackey, Escobar and Saunders. Nasty, nasty nasty.

But who will play SS? Chone? I bet they sign Eckstein.

Paul Moro: Not sure if I’d call Joe Saunders “nasty”. He’s pretty damned hittable. But Garland should have an easier time away from The Cell and away from the AL Central.

And while I can’t underestimate the knack for MLB scouts/GMs to overestimate Eckstein, I’d like to think that people realize the guy’s a pretty bad SS. Granted, 2007 was his worst defensive year, but at his age I don’t see it improving much year-to-year. He has the arm of a first baseman for god’s sake. To me, he’s a utility middle-infielder.

Maybe they’ll put Chone there, but he’d be terrible. Maybe they still see Brandon Wood as a SS?

Coley Ward: Paul, I agree that Saunders isn’t “nasty”. But he’s got pretty good numbers for a number five starter. And Weaver, Lackey, Garland, Escobar is a really good top four.

Like most of the blogosphere, I think Eckstein is wildly overrated. And I think the fact that he’s chasing a four year $36 million is hilarious. But I also think he’s the kind of player MIke Socia loves and I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up in Anaheim.

“If we win every single game for the rest of the season, we’re in the playoffs. Do the math.” 

That’s Angels shortstop Orlando Cabrera’s master plan for getting his team into the post season. Win every game.

On the surface, it seems a little naive. Dig deeper and you’ll discover it’s just plain crazy. From the LA Times:

The Angels are 6 1/2 games behind Oakland with 10 games left, but seven of those games are against the Athletics, including a three-game series beginning Friday night in McAfee Coliseum.

A Magnificent Seven — a sweep of this weekend’s series and of a four-game series beginning Sept. 28 in Anaheim — and the Angels gain seven games on the A’s. Simple, right?

“It’s not going to be easy, because we have to beat them seven times, and if we don’t, we’re done,” Cabrera said. “Every time we go on the field, we have to think like this is the last game we’re going to play.”

Is Cabrera crazy? Crazy like a fox. It is highly unlikely that the Angels will sweep the A’s over seven games, or that the team will win it’s final 10 games. But then again, this is baseball. Miracles do happen. Back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back homerun miracles. Bloody sock miracles. Pinch-hit with a bad knee in the world series and hit a home run miracles.