Yesterday, they said Paul Lo Duca would catch the ceremonial first pitch at the Nationals’ new park, thrown by President George W. Bush.

Today, they said “never mind.” It’ll be somebody else. Anybody else. Maybe Manny Acta.

So what’s wrong with Lo Duca?

I have a few ideas.

Mind you, I don’t live in Washington. I don’t work in politics. But I’ve seen enough episodes of “The West Wing” to know how these things work.

We can assume Lo Duca got vetted. This is common practice. If you’re a member of the public and you’re going to be coming within 100 yards of the president, then they’re going to take a look at your file.

Somebody investigated Lo Duca and raised an objection. The question is who? And why?

Lo Duca’s ouster had to be either politically motivated, or it was over security concerns.

Why would Lo Duca be a political liability? Well, there was that little matter of Lo Duca’s gambling debts, which were said to be sizable. Lo Duca claimed his debts were with offshore bookies, which is illegal. Then there was his very public divorce from his playmate wife and the revelations of his affair with a 19-year old college student.

Why would Lo Duca be a security concern? Did we mention the gambling debts? Two years ago the New York Daily News reported that on at least two occasions, big mafia-type guys attempted to visit Mets catcher at ball parks for the purpose of collecting gambling debts. If guys want to break your legs, you don’t get to hang with the prez.

Is it fair? Maybe not. But that’s the way it is. A guy with Lo Duca’s checkered past simply can’t catch for the President.

Now, if he wants to be president, that’s another story. In fact, his divorce might even help.

UPDATE: Andrew points out that Lo Duca’s inclusion in the Mitchell report probably didn’t make him any more palatable politically. I totally meant to mention that.

I’m not sure which of these three things is the most ludicrous:

1. Jeff Kent returning to Los Angeles having exercised his one-year/$9m option after expressing despair and incredulity over the younger Dodger players and “why they don’t get it”. Good luck mending those fences, Jeff. It’s uh… gonna be awkward. At least the money’s good.

2. Paul Lo Duca telling the press that his new team, the Washington Nationals, has a chance to win (the) division. Like, this year. From what I understand, he was being completely serious. For real.

3. One of our favorites, Mr. Carl Pavano - the $40 million man - being asked by the Yankees to accept a minor-league deal. This is just pure schadenfreude on my part, I know. But I can’t help it.

The Nationals today signed catcher Paul Lo Duca.

Of course, this means little for the Nationals chances of winning the NL East (they won’t). But it’s just more evidence that Jim Bowden loves the blogosphere and will do anything and everything within his power to make our lives easier.

Because, when you’ve already signed a guy with five children by four different women whose wife recently sought a restraining order against him, another guy who was cut from his previous team because of a drinking problem, and a third guy who wants to be a gangsta rapper and pissed off his teammates so much they hung a sign in his locker reminding him to mind his p’s and q’s, why not sign a catcher with a history of gambling debts and extra-marital affairs with 19 year-olds?

I can’t think of a single reason.