UFH: Pedro Feliz

Yesterday, the Phillies signed 3B Pedro Feliz. But they got far more than just a gold glove fielder. The Phillies got a player who dabbles in unfortunate facial hair the way Charlie Sheen dabbles in Vegas hookers. The way Amy Winehouse dabbles in coke. The way Britney dabbles in crazy.Truth be told, I haven’t spent a ton of time watching Feliz, since he played for the Giants, a team that has always been in a different time zone and lately has been far from contention. But with yesterday’s trade, I had new reason to gaze upon the visage that is Feliz. And lo, what I did see!

First, on Philadelphia Inquirer baseball writer Todd Zolecki’s blog, I got a glipse of Feliz rocking the chin strap.

Then, I Googled a nice pic of Feliz with what looks to be a still-in-progress chin strap. I’ve seen 13-year-olds with fuller beards.

Then, I took to Flickr, where I discovered a photo of Feliz with a soul strip, a look he no doubt borrowed from one Doug Davis.

Finally, here he is with a couple of female fans, rocking a combination of barely-there mustache and chin fuzz. The chin fuzz says, “got a tin can I can munch on?” while the almost-stache says, “Hi, my name is McLovin and I’d like to buy some beer.”

The reaction to Feliz’s signing in Philly was a collective “meh.” But I suspect he’ll grow on the city of brotherly shove. And even if he doesn’t grow on them, I know something will grow on him.Welcome to the team, Pedro. The UFH team.