Manny’s poetry has lately taken a darker, more existential twist. A brief selection from the “Enough is Enough” collection:

Tired and Silent

I don’t want to talk to them

about contracts right now. So what?

I know they got me,

but enough

is enough.

I’m tired of them,

they’re tired of me.

Contents of a Letter…Or Whatever.

After 2008, just send me a letter

Or whatever.

You don’t even got to call my agent

Or whatever.

‘Hey, thank you for everything.

‘You’re going to

Become a free agent.

We’re not going to

Pick up your option in ‘09.’

I’m happy,

But enough is enough.

You know?

That’s it.

Trade Deadline Assessment

They’re not going to

Pull the trigger, because they

Know what they’ve got here.

2009

Don’t worry about

It. Enough is enough. In

Oh-Nine, I move on.

How Much is Enough? [They Know]

They know.

You got to ask Theo and John Henry.

They know.

I gotta go hit guys.

My Job is to Play Baseball

I don’t care where I

Play, I can even play in

Iraq if need be.

For Manny’s previous works, see here, here, and here.

Manny Ramirez belted his 500th career home run tonight in Baltimore. (Why didn’t he do it on the West Coast road trip? “It’s too late, nobody would see it.” So true.) To celebrate the occasion, UmpBump presents its third edition of Manny Being Poetic, in which we take Manny’s quotes and rearrange them into the little philosophic bits of poetry we know they really are. Previous editions are here and here. Congratulations, Manny!

499 (That One)

Nobody cares

About that one.

That one’s

Over.

Everybody will forget

About that one.

Runner Thrown Out at Third

That guy probably

Didn’t see the video.

I’ve got a cannon.

Ode to Practice

I.

I invented

That throw that I do.

I don’t know how it started,

It just happened.

Like three years ago.

II.

I have to practice it,

Though.

I started to learn

How to throw it…but

I need to practice it

More.

III.

I haven’t practiced it

At all this year.

But I’ve got it.

High Five

I think that’s how you get your All-Star vote.

I’m pretty sure that guy’s going to vote for me.

One at a time–

That’s how it’s going to happen.

To Err is Human

I thought the ball was

Not going to travel that

far, so I missed it.

Tossed (The Angry Hamstring)

I was

A little mad.

My hamstring was

A little sore.

And in those situations,

You have to react.

Manny Ramirez is continuing to issue prophetic statements in the guise of media interviews. Adding to our collection, we now present the latest quotations, taken directly from the lips of His Mannyness and arranged by yours truly into a series of short poems and haiku:

Pimp Jobs

I am trying to

get a hit against you. You

show me up, that’s good.

The Rivalry (Come On)

That’s the game.

People like to compete.

Just because you play

For the Red Sox

And they play

For the Yankees,

You’re going to go and kill each other?

Come on.

I Haven’t Thought About 500

I just love the game.

I just like to compete.That’s

it. To be honest.

Plate Discipline

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

All I Want (or Whatever)

After all this is over

All I want

Is for my kids to go to college

And to be their best friend.

That’s all I want.

I don’t care about home runs

Or whatever.

It Can Only Hurt the Ballclub

I don’t think much.

I love my job.

I love to compete.

Causation

He gave me a good pitch to drive.

So I drove it.

Mantra: Hitting Well in Yankee Stadium

I don’t care.

I don’t play here.

I can’t tell you why.

I wish I knew.

First Stolen Base Since 2005 (Why?)

Contract year…I thought

I was out. I was going,

‘Yeah, I got a break.’

If you want to see

The car, sometimes you have got

To let the car go.

It made me feel like

I was back in high school…Yes,

I went on my own.

For your Sunday morning pleasure, via Slate.com, the poetry of Roger Clemens, excerpted from his deposition and his Congressional testimony:

“Offensive Haiku”

I am offended.

I will be honest with you.

I am offended.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition

“Ghost Andy”

He looked at me,

Wringing his hands,

White as a ghost

And asked me

What are you going

To tell them?

And I told him

I’m going out there

To tell the truth.

—Feb. 13, 2008, hearing

“Glute”

I have strained my glute

On a couple occasions.

I wish I could tell you

How many occasions.

—Feb. 5, 2008, deposition