The Mets and Yankees recently started selling fruit at their new stadiums. Is it about time? Or is it sacrilege? You decide.

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As of this writing, the man they call The Big Unit is five wins shy of joining the ranks of the game’s 300-game winners. You know what that means, right kids?

Articles about how he will be the last 300-game winner ever!!!

Long time readers (are there any of you out there?) may be getting a sense of deja vu, because you’ve read this before here on Umpbump. We thought it was ridiculous how some writers were making that same claim back in 2007 when Tom Glavine crossed the mark. And we were right. Because Randy Johnson is right at the door step.

Look, we get it. Unless Jamie Moyer decides to pitch until he’s 55 (may happen at this point), no one else is all that close. Pettite, Pedro and Smoltz are not going to get there and they’re the only active pitchers who have even made it to 200. And unless I’m missing someone, there are only two guys under 30 who have even hit triple digits (Sabathia and Garland). But chances are, someone’s going to do it again. And need we remind you that when he turned 30 back in September of 1993 (Jesus, the guy is old…), Randy Johnson only had 64 wins on his resume?

So we ask you, who will it be, Umpbumpers? Who’s going to be the next to 300 wins?

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Yesterday, Sarah asked everyone to vote on who’s going to win the World Series between the Phils and Rays. And I want to ask you guys a similar question – with a twist.

Unbeknownst to even the other UmpBump writers, I’ve been secretly working on an unassailable method that lets our readers predict with 100% accuracy how the World Series will go down, game by game.

As you will see, this magical survey takes into account some sophisticated number crunching, as well as the “intangibles” – that je ne sais quoi that envelops the whole player and his aura, elevating him beyond the status of mere mortals and letting him ride mightily and honorably into Valhalla atop the eight-legged Slepnir while getting a reach-around from valkyries (this is what some people believe, right?).

So who wins the battle between the Phils and the Rays? America (and our friends in Papua New Guinea), you decide.

Read the rest of this entry »

Now, 8=2. Or 9=2. Or 2+2=5. Whatever. The point is, there are only two teams left: the NL Champion Philadelphia Phillies and the AL Champion Tampa Bay Rays. Who do you think will win the World Series?

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Immediately after the NLCS ended and the Phillies turned their attention to champagne spraying and ass slapping, I began to think about the World Series. Lots of people would consider baseball questions, like who’s going to DH for the Phils? Should they start Jamie Moyer, who’s been struggling? Who should start at third base, Pedro Feliz or Greg Dobbs?

But I’ve got a more pressing issue on my mind. The Phillies are going to have at least two, maybe three home games. And that means up to three opportunities to trot out celebrity singers to perform our national anthem, as well as three more opportunities for a celeb to sing “God Bless America.”

There are lots of musicians with Philadelphia roots. Which of the following musicians/bands/singers would you like to see perform at the World Series?

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I’ve been waiting to write about this because I was hoping the Phillies would come to their senses. But it looks like they’re actually going to go ahead and let Mitch Williams throw out the first pitch before today’s game between the Phils and Brewers.

It just strikes me as odd that the organization reached out to a guy who has become the symbol of Phillies futility. You don’t see the Cubs asking Steve Bartman to throw out the first pich before their game.

After all, the Phillies aren’t in a situation where, like the Rays, they’re short on worthy first pitch candidates.

Boston brought back Buckner to throw out the first pitch at opening day this year, but that was opening day, not Game 1 of the playoffs. You lose opening day and it’s no big deal. You lose Game 1 and you’re two losses away from the golf course.

True, Williams has polished his image by serving as a capable post-game analyst on local Philadelphia TV. But this hardly seems like the time to roll the dice and let a possibly jinxed former reliever on to the field.

Umpbumpers, what do you think of Wild Thing’s return to the mound?

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I was all fired up to write a “ohmygodthisissodumb” post, but by gum, I couldn’t decide which was dumber: the firing of Ned Yost (in the middle of a pennant race!) or the alleged controversy surrounding the Astros and Cubs playing a game at Miller Park as Ike ravaged Houston. So I’ll turn it over to you, UmpBumpers:

I thought I’d do a little poll to try and measure the panic in Boston and the level of optimism in New York. Here it is, nothing fancy:

more at twiigs.com…