Now that I see my fellow UmpBumpers up and about, I decided to get up from my couch, grill me some hot dogs and drink me some Molson Canadian. (They have cool labels in the back of the bottle).

I also watched me some ass-whoopin’ White Sox baseball; they romped the Tribe 11-0, in a game that featured 2 homers from big Jim “I wish he was on my fantasy team now” Thome, against his former team.
“Take that boo-birds” said the Sox TV voice, Ken “The Hawk” Harrelson, by which he really meant, “You ungrateful sons o’ bitches, here’s what you get for not gettin’ me the Standing O.”

The victory comes two days after the Blizzard of Oz went on a muy grosero tirade against his team, following a 3-2 extra-inning loss to the Blue Jays.

In all fairness, I really didn’t agree with Ozzie blowing off steam on the team like that. Yes we got our asses kicked Friday night and lost a tough one Saturday; but it happens. We had just swept the A’s at home, something we hadn’t done since the late 80s when all the current White Sox coaches were in the lineup or in the farm system.

Saturday’s loss was due to a lackluster effort, yes. And, although I thought Ozzie had overreacted (something I need to start getting used to), it paid off. The Sox beat the Jays yesterday and whopped today.

I have a small suspicion that Ozzie went off on the team because Tiger’s manager, Jim “I can’t kick the habit” Leyland did it early in the season. Somehow I think that’s Ozzie’s way of keeping up. Detroit’s up one and a half games in the central standings; they were up three and a half just yesterday, but I’m not sure they’ll keep it up.

And then again, I sound just like those overpaid “baseball analyists” on ESPN, none of whom predicted the Sox would win it all last year.

Ken Griffey Jr. is firing back at radio talk show hosts who have suggested he might want to consider moving to left field or first base. Griffey told the Cincinnati Enquirer he’s not moving, and he’s pissed the “Two Angry Guys” suggested it:

“For somebody who can’t play this (expletive) game to sit there and criticize me ….”

“What you guys fail to realize is what you guys write doesn’t just stay in the clubhouse. I have to live with it. I have to go places. I have to go to the grocery store.”

“All I want to do is go out and play baseball. To be judged after eight games is horse (manure).”

“It’s easy for people to criticize somebody and not be out in the outfield. He should have caught that ball … Like I’m not trying.”

“I’m tired of it. That’s all.”

The “Two Angry Guys” say they were just looking out for Griffey’s best interest:

“Our whole thing is it’s in the best interest of the Reds to have Ken Griffey Jr. in the lineup” and … in our estimation - based on the last few years - is you get more wear and tear from center field than anywhere else.”

Reds first baseman Adam Dunn wondered why Griffey was even bothering to comment:

“Why does he care?” Dunn said. “I haven’t listened one time.”

Indeed, Jr., why do you care? These are radio talk show hosts, not your manager, not the President of the United States, not Oprah. Just a couple of guys with a microphone. Relax buddy.