Recently at UmpBump HQ, there’s been a lot of Boston Red Sox talk. While the Yankees have acquired themselves some big-ticket items and the already-strong Rays made a few smart, affordable moves, the BoSox have been raiding the sale rack. And they’re clearly not done yet — this morning’s announcement was the signing of Takashi Saito, and there’s word they’re also focusing on Miguel Montero. We debated a few of their recent moves, for Josh Bard, Rocco Baldelli, John Smoltz, and Mr. Jamie Kotsay.

Coley: Now the Red Sox have signed Mark Kotsay. How is this guy a fourth (or even fifth!) outfielder? The Sox have insane depth. It really is like they have money to burn.

Paul: the 4th/5th OF thing isn’t so important as promising these guys PAs. Baldelli is always a game-time decision. Plus, Kotsay spells Youk at first, who will also spell Lowell at 3rd. He’ll get a decent amount of playing time. Plus, it seems that Kotsay is a very good defensive firstbaseman and isn’t terrible offensively. I think it’s a good use of 1.5MM.

Coley: That’s what I mean about Boston’s depth. They’ve got Kotsay who can play outfield and 1B. They’ve got Youk who can play 1B and 3B. They’ve got Lugo who can play SS and 2B and Jed Lowrie, who can play almost any infield position. Regarding at bats, I understand why guys want to play for Boston, but I’m surprised a guy like Kotsay wouldn’t go somewhere where he could get more at bats.

Sarah: “They’ve got Lugo who can play SS and 2B” should read: “They’ve got Lugo who sucks no matter where you put him.” (Readers: take one drink.) Kotsay wanted to go somewhere where he could be a regular, I thought he just couldn’t find a taker.

Coley: I understand that Kotsay couldn’t find a starting job, but there surely are teams where he stood a better chance of getting regular playing time, or “burn” as we call it in the industry. The Giants, for example, need an outfielder and a 1B, and Kotsay plays both. Maybe Kotsay’s counting on Lowell being hurt and Youk playing third?

Sarah: Why not? Lowell was hurt for much of last season. And I think if the choice is limited playing time with either the Giants or the Sox, the answer is pretty clear.

Coley: I don’t think it’s clear. Both the Giants and Sox have a shot at making the playoffs this season. Both play in gorgeous stadiums. And the weather and food is better in San Francisco. Plus, I’m sure Kotsay has roots in the Bay area from his days in Oakland.

Paul: Maybe the Manny situation played a role. If Kotsay thought there was a chance that Manny signs in SF, there goes his “burn”.

Sarah: Those are all good points. But maybe he’s just as happy not to move across the country right now, all things being equal. Or maybe he just really likes red Sox fans. :)

Coley: He doesn’t need the warm embrace of Red Sox nation. He’s got Jamie. And I don’t think there’s much chance Manny signs in SF. They don’t have the money.

Paul: I don’t think that Manny’s going to end up in SF either. But it’s all about creating doubt. Say, the Red Sox played that hand – “Manny might go to San Fran. Stay here and you don’t have to worry about it. But you have to decide now.”

Coley: That’s probably roughly what they told Brad Penny, right before they went out and signed John Smoltz.

Paul: I don’t think the Smoltz situation will hurt Penny. (Beckett-Lester-Smoltz (after he recovers) -Matsuzaka-Penny.) It’ll hurt Wake. Now the whole “bringing Josh Bard back” thing makes sense. I was wondering why the Sox would do that when they shipped Bard out a couple of years ago because he couldn’t catch the knuckler.

Sarah: Another big draw for players (maybe in Penny and Baldelli’s case) is Boston’s medical staff. They are known for having basically the best medical staff in MLB. Plus, being in Boston, they have access to some of the best doctors and hospitals in the world. I think the Sox signed Bard because they realized:

a) he was one of the better options (if not the best option) for a backup catcher
b) they have openly said trading him away was a mistake
c) they are not done trying to get a young catcher to replace Tek as the starting guy

Coley: I’m really interested to see if a Buchholz-Saltalamacchia trade happens. The Bard thing confuses me a little, though. If the Sox do land Salty, I don’t see them starting the season with Salty and Bard as the two catchers. First of all, I don’t think either of them can catch Wake. Second, if the Sox land Salty, I think they’ll pair him with a veteran.

Sarah: They did carry three catchers for pretty much the whole second half last year. Besides, anyone who turns out to be surplus can be traded this summer.

Paul: I don’t understand the three catcher thing for an AL team. You’re already down one bench spot for the DH. Why burn another one with the third catcher? Then again, the Red Sox are far smarter than i am.

Coley: If the Sox did carry a third catcher, and it was a veteran, it would have to be somebody who was just happy to be on the roster. I don’t think Tek would sign on just to mentor the kids. Maybe Sal Fasano is available?

Sarah: At this point, if the Sox do get, say, Teagarden for Buchholz, this is how I see it playing out:

• Tek and Tea split time; Tea catches Wake (if Wake even pitches — he was injured for much of ‘08 too)
• When Tek gets injured, Tea takes over; Bard backs him up (Tek plays hurt all the time — probably hurts more than JD Drew ever does, but is made of pig iron, chewing tobacco, and Clint Eastwood’s spit, so he never says anything  — but with a young, talented catcher on the roster, he wouldn’t have to keep sucking it up all the time).
• If it’s Salty and not Tea, the Sox have Salty take over first base now and then; Wakefield retires rather than force Bard, Salty, or Tek to catch him, because Wake always puts the team first. He’s just that kind of guy.

Nick: If the Sox trade for a catcher, they definitely won’t resign Varitek. If the trade happens, one of Bard or the new guy will have to catch Wakefield.

Sarah: Well, yes. That is the unspoken “nuclear option.” Though part of the reason no other team wants to sign him is that they’ll have to give up a draft pick to do so (because the Sox offered him arb and he declined) and so far, no one has wanted to do that. So even if the Sox do get a young catcher in addition to Bard, Varitek still might end up in the Sal Fasano posish of “just wanting to be on the roster.”

What do you guys think? Sox fans, how do you feel about this bevy of small moves compared to New York’s two giant signings? Non-Sox fans, would you want to see your team take a chance on Varitek? What about the Saito move? And we barely touched on Smoltz! Let’s keep the convo going in the comments.

Yep, we’re pretty much all sat around today checking on the latest CC Sabathia rumors. Here are all the rumors that mlbtraderumors.com missed (as always, the latest rumors are higher up):

10:40 pm: Ned Colletti has just been found in the MGM Grand, wearing clown shoes. There’s no sign of the gun or of Brian Sabean.

10:37 pm: Bud Selig has opened an investigation into the fruit basket issue and is expected to make a public statement shortly.

10:31 pm: Joel Sherman confirms it: a trace on the phone line shows that the order for the fruit basket was placed from New York’s 212 area code.

10:26 pm: Graziano contacted the woman at the fruit basket delivery service and she said the voice on the phone had a heavy New York accent.

10:21 pm: A second fruit basket has just been delivered to CC’s room, again from the Brewers, according to Abraham.

9:13 pm: According to the AP, Ned Colletti has just been seen running through the hotel’s lobby laughing uncontrollably, waving a pistol, and chasing Brian Sabean.

8:03 pm: George King reports that the Yankees have reportedly replaced The Wynn’s 100% Egyptian cotton 310 thread count sheets with a pinstriped, 600 thread count set.

7:45 pm: Bill Shaikin says the Giants are still in the running. To sweeten their offer, they’ve proposed an opt-out after three years and unlimited use of a personal assistant, Barrie Zeeto (sp?).

6:22 pm: Peter Abraham learned from unnamed Wynn staff that CC “hated the fruit basket [the Brewers sent] and thought it was a hint about his weight problem.”

5:05 pm: Could the Dodgers be involved? Ned Colletti has told reporters that he and CC go “way back” and that the lefty “has always revered Jeff Kent.” He wants to set up a meeting with Sabathia and Genske and said he plans to bring Andruw Jones.

4:17 pm: According to Peter Gammons, Whitey Ford was not happy to be included on the field trip to CC’s suite at The Wynn. The meeting almost came to an abrupt halt when Ford snapped and tried to spew tobacco juice into CC’s bath bubbles. An anonymous GM not known to be in the chase for Sabathia estimated it could cost owner George Steinbrenner as much as another $10MM.

2:28 pm: The Brewers aren’t going quietly. According to Tom Haudricourt of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Doug Melvin has sent CC an elaborate fruit basket. But will it be enough?

11:42 am: Quoting “rival agents,” Ken Rosenthal reports speculation that Genske is being tailed by street toughs hired by the Players Association, which wants CC to take New York’s record $140MM $161MM offer.

10:07 am: Buster Olney warns to take this for what it’s worth, but his source said that as the meeting wound down, Girardi drew a bath for Sabathia while Berra massaged the ace’s feet. Sabathia also allegedly prefers bubbles to bath salts.

8:12 am: Breakfast for nine just delivered to CC’s suite, says Joel Sherman. According to his source, it will be Sabathia, his lead agent Greg Genske, Cashman, Joe Girardi, Reggie Jackson, Derek Jeter, Yogi Berra, Whitey Ford, and Madonna. Privately, the source says, CC would prefer Sharon Stone.

4:57 am: Dan Graziano says it’s not two people embracing. It’s just CC standing by the window alone. (He’s kind of a big guy.) I think we can infer from his sleeplessness that a decision isn’t coming soon.

4:55 am: George King of the New York Post writes that he can see CC Sabathia’s light on through the drapery at The Wynn. He sees a huge shadow moving inside — it looks like at least two people embracing. Could one of them be Brian Cashman?

I’ve been to Nashville. Nice town. I hope the GMs currently meeting there** are enjoying the various honky tonks and watering holes. But in between all the fun live music and delightfully fried foods, I hope they are talking serious, blockbuster trades. I am so over the A-Rod thing. The free agent crop this year is just not where the action is. Plus, there are a couple of other interesting tidbits floating around the GM Meetings:

1. This year, the 30 general managers decided to try something so obvious they couldn’t believe they didn’t think of it sooner. At the behest of Red Sox GM Theo Epstein and Marlins President Larry Beinfest, all 30 GMs got together for an informal meeting at which each GM explained, in two minutes or less, what his acquisition goals were and what kind of deals he was willing to entertain. Under the old system, scouts and other emissaries would be dispatched by one club to sound out the other 29 clubs in turn, like royal pages in some 17th century court. And like some 17th century royal court, rumors and gossip abounded while real information was scarce.

2. In another great leap forward, GMs have voted 25-5 for umpires to use instant replay to determine debatable fair-or-foul judgments and home run calls. As has been widely reported, it would work more like the NHL’s system, where a neutral third party reviews the play in a booth upstairs, than the NFL’s system of formal challenges that then get reviewed by the referees themselves. In the past, Commissioner Bud Selig has said he doesn’t like using instant replay in part “because of all the delays.” He’s even talked about speeding up the games by limiting the number of times the batter can step out of the batters’ box and cutting down on catcher’s trips to the mound. That is bad news for fans, who might have been hoping Quixotically for shorter commercial breaks instead.

3 . Here’s some fun trade speculation—the Rangers are looking for a centerfielder (again) to fill in for the two-to-three years it will take their best outfield prospects to mature. One option they’ve discussed is Coco Crisp. The Boston Globe reports that the Red Sox expressed interest in one of the Rangers’ catchers, either Gerald Laird or (ha ha) Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Laird-for-Coco wouldn’t be a good move for Boston. Laird hit in the low .200s with 9 homers in 120 games last season. It should be noted, however, that Laird led the league in throwing out would-be base-stealers; if he can catch a knuckler, the Sox might be interested in him to catch Tim Wakefield (though they tried this experiment before, and ended up paying an extremely high price to bring back Doug Mirabelli when it faltered). I think Salty-for-Coco is just wishful thinking on the part of the Globe, unless the Red Sox were willing to throw some cash or some prospects (or both) at Texas. After all, he’s a burly, young, switch-hitting catcher (not unlike Jason Varitek 12 years ago) and those don’t come cheap (unless the other GM is an idiot and you’re offering the great Heathcliff Slocumb). What would the Red Sox do with Salty? He’s not known for his defensive prowess behind the plate, which is an issue because the back-up catcher in Beantown pretty much has to catch Wake’s flutterball. It’s possible that the Red Sox are looking ahead to the days when Varitek becomes their bench coach (oh please, let it come to pass!) but right now, Saltalamacchia doesn’t fit any needs the Red Sox have….OR DOES HE? One of the rumors going around is that if the Red Sox can’t re-sign Mike Lowell, they’ll move Gold Glove-winning first baseman Kevin Youkilis to third (his former position) and get themselves a new first baseman. And Saltalamacchia has some experience at first. And before you go jumping on me that Coco is too old or too expensive to be the centerpiece of such a deal, I remind you that he’s only 28 and he only makes $4 million. Plus, he’s got great speed. The only downside here is that he’s coming off of a couple poor offensive years with the Red Sox (which, in turn, could actually make him cheaper to sign for the Rangers, if they’re willing to take a chance on him returning to his respectable career average of .280).

4. The Yankees are talking trades as well, and also looking to move one of their outfielders. They’ve talked about shopping Johnny Damon, though that is looking unlikely at this moment, and there have been murmurs about moving Hideki Matsui, though he has a no-trade clause and could be hard to unload. And, as far as I can tell, no possible takers for either of those has been mentioned. One problem for the Yanks seems to be that they’ve got too many DH-types—including a ravaged-by-years-of-steroid-use Jason Giambi, whose “skills” at first base we last saw harming his team in the playoffs.

5. At the new “straight from the horse’s mouth” GM roundtable discussed above, Indians GM Mark Shapiro said he wasn’t shopping anyone, but no one was off-limits if the right offer came along. He’s said to be preparing a contract extension for C.C. Sabathia. But given what C.C. is likely to cost, he might be tempted to move the Cy Young favorite now and just rake in his winnings. Who would possible takers be? Why, pretty much every team out there with something—-anything—to offer. I can’t think of a GM who wouldn’t empty his cupboard and open his wallet at the chance to get Sabathia.

**I am an ass. The GM meetings are being held in Orlando, where I have also been and where, unless you are seven years old and meeting Mickey Mouse in his dressing room, it sort of sucks. The Winter Meetings (held in December) are in Nashville. Thanks to reader Melissa for pointing this out.

Numerous sources are reporting that the Red Sox are in serious discussions to trade for Rockies’ firstbaseman Todd Helton.  Most versions have Helton headed to Fenway in exchange for Mike Lowell, Julian Tavarez, and a pair of prospects.  The prospects are still being wrangled over, but according to ESPN’s version, the Rockies are demanding relievers Craig Hansen and Manny Delcarmen, with the Red Sox holding out for a better deal in which they won’t give up as much.

My first reaction was that this would be a great deal for the Red Sox. Lowell and Tavares would not be missed much, and even if the Sox had to give up Hansen and Delcarmen, they would be giving up two pitchers who have yet to show much at the major league level, if they ever will, and they would be getting one of the best-hitting first baseman around.

Although Helton is due to earn $16.6 million this year and almost $90 million total for the remaining six years on his contract, the Red Sox have clearly demonstrated this offseason that money is no object for them, and besides, the Rockies are proposing to pick up nearly half of the remaining tab.

But then I had a look at Helton’s actual numbers in recent years, instead just going off his reputation.

Helton has clearly been in decline over the last several seasons.  From his best year in 2000 when he batted .372, smashed 42 homers, and OPS’d 1.161, he has fallen to .302, 15 homers, and an .880 OPS.  Now those certainly aren’t horrible numbers, but is that really that much better than what Mike Lowell would provide?

Plus there is always the issue of Coors Field.  While it is true that hitters have historically not had as big falloffs when they leave Coors as pitchers do when they come to Coors, like all Rockies players Helton’s home-road splits are ridiculous: last season he batted .338 and had a .445 OPB in Denver, compared to only .266 and .360 on the road. While it is true that Fenway is generally a hitter’s park, it is a much better hitter’s park for righthanded hitters, as opposed to lefties like Helton, and which split is Helton more likely to approximate at sea level? 

What is clear is that this would be a great trade for the Rockies.  Even if they had to pick up a significant share of Helton’s salary for the next six years, they would still be clearing tens of millions of dollars from their payroll.  Plus they would be picking up a small motorboat-load of useful players, without making their lineup significantly worse.  After all, Lowell’s numbers can be expected to increase at Coors.

So I was driving home last night, through the rain, from my Aunt’s house in the Baltimore suburbs to my parents’ house in the Philadelphia suburbs, listening to Arizona Diamondbacks manager Bob Melvin give an interview on sattelite radio.

Melvin was all, “We’ve got a lot of young, exciting players. I think the next few years are going to be really exciting, with a lot of young guys coming up.” Etc, etc.

Then a news report comes on. The Diamondbacks are trying to trade a package of three players (two of whom are believed to be prospects) for Randy Johnson.

Now, if you’re a young team, the quickest way to get old fast is to trade for Randy Johnson. He’s the oldest player in the world. Okay, technically Julio Franco is the oldest player in the world. But Franco is a kid in a 50 year-old’s body. Johnson has been an old man in a kid’s body since the day he joined the league. Except now he’s an old man in a decaying 43 year-old body.

I just can’t imagine wanting Randy Johnson on my team right now. Sure, he’s going to win his 300th game this year. And that will be special. And it would be great if he could do it in Arizona, a team where he spent some of his best seasons.

But Johnson will cost a lot of money. He’s due $16 million this season, and the Yankees reportedly don’t want to pay any of it. Plus, there’s no reason to think that Johnson will be any better this year than he was last year. And he wasn’t very good last year.

The best part of the Johnson to Arizona rumor is this tidbit from the ESPN.com report:

In need of starting pitching — and a marquee name that will draw more fans — the Diamondbacks have offered a package of at least three players, including a major-leaguer. They would also want a 72-hour window to negotiate an extension with Johnson, who is owed $16 million in the final year of his contract.

An extension? He’s 43! He’s coming off back surgery!

Even more amazing, the Padres are reportedly also trying to land Johnson and are dangling coveted reliever Scott Linebrink (is there a trade rumor that doesn’t involve Linebrink?).

I just don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how you, as a GM, convince yourself that trading for a 43 year-old pitcher who’s coming off a mediocre season and subsequent back surgery is a good idea, especially when that pitcher makes $16 million a season. I know he was good in the past, but the past is the past. Welcome to 2007.

Now that most of the free agents have been signed, it’s time for teams with missing pieces to start making trades. All indications are that it will be a busy trade season, as many teams are still looking to add players. And it looks like three teams are getting ready to kick things off with a bang.

From the New York Times:

The Yankees are in discussions with the Atlanta Braves and the Pittsburgh Pirates about a three-way deal that would send outfielder Melky Cabrera to the Braves from the Yankees, reliever Mike Gonzalez to the Yankees from the Pirates, and first baseman Adam LaRoche to the Pirates from the Braves, according to a baseball official.

What a fun trade! Three-ways are always exciting. And this one promises to make everyone happy. Everyone except Adam LaRoche, that is. Nobody wants to play for the Pirates.

Speaking of LaRoche, he is suddenly a hot commodity. How did that happen? As recently as last June, he was one of the more mediocre first basemen in memory. Then he got benched for a lazy play, which inspired him to start taking his Attention Deficit Disorder meds. The rest is history. LaRoche was LaStudly in the second half of last season. And now he’s in demand.

It’s hard to imagine the Yanks are trading away Melky. He’s young, talented and cheap. But they’re getting a good bullpen arm in return, somebody who can setup or who can fill in when the aging Mariano Rivera inevitably gets hurt.

What trades will follow this one? The Phils still need to unload John Lieber. The Dodgers are still looking to move a pitcher and a prospect in favor of a big bat. The Red Sox still could trade Manny. Stay tuned.

All right St. Louis Cardinals, you had your 15 minutes. Now move over. It’s time for baseball’s second season to start.

I’m talking about the offseason. Free agency. Trades. Teams go from pretenders to contenders in the blink of an eye. It’s all just so exciting!

Now, to kick-off the offseason, let’s take a look at a few signings and trades that just might happen (but, you know, probably won’t):

1. Alfonso Soriano signs a contract with the Angels. The Phillies, White Sox and Cubs are all rumored to be interested in Soriano. But, at the end of the day, you’ve got to think the speedy leftfielder will end up in Los Angeles, which is a big market team with money to spend and the potential to win now. The Angels need protection for Vlad Guerero in their lineup. Soriano will provide that protection.

2. Pat Burrell to the Orioles. The Phillies seem desperate to unload Burrell. Desperate even enough to eat a big part of his contract, which is exactly what it will take. The Orioles could use Burrell at DH. (NOTE: Burrell has a no-trade clause, so that could be an issue).

3. Gary Sheffield to the Phillies. The Phils send the Yankees a couple prospects (maybe the same guys they got for Bobby Abreu) and Sheffield takes Burrell’s spot in leftfield and offers Ryan Howard some protection in the Phils lineup.

4. Manny Ramirez to Cleveland. Ramirez ends his career where he started it. The Indians get a guy who can help put them over the top. The Red Sox get Andy Marte and a pitching prospect.

5. Jason Schmidt to the Mets. Everyone always talks about Barry Zito signing in New York, but Schmidt is a more dominant pitcher when he’s healthy. And he’s the type of pitcher that, because he can bring some heat, will have more playoff success.

6. A-Rod stays in New York. He’s not going anywhere, so get over it.

Just goes to show that as the trade deadline approaches, baseball’s rumor mill is churning out more half-truths than a high school bathroom. Eric Wilbur, at Boston.com, picks out one he thinks is especially nutso: Sox 3B Mike Lowell for the Padres’ struggling pitching stud Jake Peavy.

Buster Olney of ESPN.com is reporting that the Padres, after releasing Vinny Castilla earlier this week, are desperate for help at third, and have inquired the Red Sox about Lowell. That much, at least, sounds legit, as is the matter of the pitching-deficient Red Sox asking for some in return. And then, somehow, it all spirals out of control, with the Red Sox getting one of the National League’s best young pitchers in exchange for a third baseman on the other side of 30.

No word yet on where Vinny Castilla will be sitting in the cafeteria, but I hear he’s thinking of just bringing his tray up to the third floor bathroom, where he won’t have to make awkward eye contact with anyone.