Because I just bought myself a Fedora hat and I feel rebellious, I’ll start my AL Central run-down in reverse order of last year’s standings. Eat it!

Kansas City Royals: Keep drinking that PR Kool Aid (and then add another starter)

A habit of mine is to browse the PR machines for each team whenever I need some research for my posts. Fortunately, I’ve learned to wear my reporter’s hat and cull the spin for what it is and extract the good bits of information. It’s a bit sad, however, to know that there are legions of fans out there who, in their hunger for news about their favorite teams, will eat up this stuff whole.

If we are to believe the Royal’s Press Machine, the team is poised to climb up the ranks this year. If only we could slice away one-third of the season, the Royals would’ve had a .500 record in 2007!

So with that in mind (and now that they have Trey Hillman as their new manager), the Royals think they’re all set for 2008, save a starter or two. Gil Meche will continue to be an underachieving, overpriced, overpaid veteran; Brian Bannister will be a decent second tier starter who can get you 12 wins, and then, well, then things get interesting. The enigma that is Zack Greinke will start out of the third slot in the rotation and you can stop counting there. Jorge de la Rosa could have a good year, but it doesn’t mean the Royals will stop looking for other starters (et tu, Bartolo?)

In their defense, the Royals have been able to hold on to a group of talented young players, out of which, superstar-in-the-making Alex Gordon stands out. Of course, last year’s pleasant surprise was Joakim Soria’s emergence as the team’s closer - and come to think of it, the departure of David Riske has left a gaping hole (ok, not really, but hey, it’s the Royals) in the bullpen, so a good set-up man wouldn’t hurt.

Chicago White Sox: *sigh* A center fielder (and maybe keep losing)

Anybody who’s going to say that Nick Swisher was the Sox’ pick to start at center field in 2008 needs to brush up on their White Sox news. After failing (miserably) to land a good CF, White Sox GM Kenny Williams decided to pull some of his trademarked “under-the-radar” moves. This time, however, the moves where so off the radar, they bewildered even the most ardent fans. First, he signed reliever Scott Linebrink to a 4-year, $19 mil deal. Four years! 19 million! His only move during the winter talks was trading for Carlos Quentin. Then he singed Alexei Ramirez, an unproven Cuban exile that can play short, second or the outfield; and then Williams broke the talent pool and traded for Swisher.

One thing’s clear: The Sox have lots of great players, they just don’t know what position they’ll play. With Ramirez, they have three short stops; ditto second base, Pablo Ozuna’s been the super sub for a while, so he’ll backup Richar there. And then there’s the outfield. Swisher can play some first, though he’s likely penciled for center, while Quentin is in left (or is that the other way around?). Jermaine Dye is a lock at right (though Swisher actually played some right field last year), and then the young outfielders, Jerry Owens and Brian Anderson will try to fill in the reserve spot.

The #1 goal this offseason was to improve the team via trades or free-agent signings. With the Garland-for-Cabrera trade, Williams struck quick, but then the ship fell apart. Torii Hunter signed with the Angels, Fukudome with the crosstown-rival Cubs, and even Andruw Jones relocated elsewhere. Nothing against Nick Swisher, but something tells me we could’ve gotten a better consolation prize.

So the Sox enter 2008 once again with a potent line-up that may or may not produce runs (we all know it’ll produce home runs, though), a starting rotation that is relying a wee too much on rookie or second year arms (and a few irregular vets) and a bullpen rich in question marks but with a formidable setup man (Linebrink) and closer (Bobby Jenks).

Come to think of it, the White Sox really just need to rebuild. But a good center fielder would’ve been nice.

Minnesota Twins: That new stadium already

Last year, the Twins needed money bad. This year, they could’ve use that money they never had. As expected, Torii Hunter skipped town; Santana is either going to become a free agent at the end of this year, or will be traded for way too much before the season starts; and with Joe Mauer signing a $33-million deal, Justin Morneau’s contract extension talks have stalled.

What happens in 2008 will depend greatly on what the Twins get in return for Santana, but one obvious gaping hole is Hunter’s departure from center field. Now that the Mets have entered the Santana sweepstakes, and have offered a young outfielder in their package, the Twins might move Santana soon enough to allow some flexibility before the season starts to sign Morneau. That is, if the Mets also include prospect Fernando Martinez, something the Twins want to seal the deal, but seems unlikely.

If only that new ball park were poised to open its gates. At least, the thing is finally getting built.

Detroit Tigers: Play their first game

No question that the Tigs are the most improved team this off season. They traded for two of the best young players in baseball, Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera, and they signed one of the better veteran short stops, both defensively and offensively, in Edgar Rentería.

The front line of their rotation looks something like: Verlander, Willis, Robertson, Bonderman and Kenny “It ain’t tar, its dirt” Rogers.

They have a solid bullpen, and with the return of flamethrower Joel Zumaya, Todd Jones’ role as closer might be in jeopardy. But that’s a good thing, Tigers fans.

Oh, right, and they still have Magglio Ordoñez, who came in second in MVP voting behind A-Rod.

Scary.

Cleveland Indians: Pay a visit to Miss Cleo

The Indians could very well shake up that magic 8-ball to know what’ll happen in 2008. Their roster has not been tinkered with (not much anyway), and except for the addition of INF Jamey Carroll and Japanese reliever Masahide Kobayashi, the same team that was one win away from the Fall Classic will step out on the field.

Granted, Travis Hafner missed a significant chunk of time last year, so his “return” to top form will boost a line-up that already features Victor Martinez and Grady Sizemore.

•

So that’s that, the AL Central is again shaping up to be a tough division; the standings might actually end up looking similar to what they did in 2007 . Even though the White Sox made some moves, it’s not clear they’ve upgraded their outfield; the Twins are still trying to figure out what to do about Santana; the Royals are just a pinch of hope away from contending, and the Indians are playing it safe by not doing much. But it’s been the Tigers, by far, the team that stepped up to fulfill their needs.

Atlanta Braves - Healthy Mike Hampton, Healthy Mike Gonzalez, RH hitter off the bench, Hope that Andruw Jones’ defensive value was highly overstated

With their recent acquisition of Mr. Jamie Kotsay to patrol centerfield, the Atlanta starting lineup appears to be set. We can quibble with the top of the order a bit, as we’re not quite sure how Yunel Escobar will perform in his first full year, but aside from that, it’s a more than solid crew. Chipper Jones had a very underrated 2007 campaign, Mark Teixeira gets his first fulls season in the National League, and LFer Matt Diaz turned some heads as well, especially against lefties. Despite the absence of Andruw Jones - let’s face it, Jones wasn’t that much of an offensive asset in 2007 anyhow - the Braves offense looks strong enough to duplicate their success from last year, when they scored 810 runs (3rd in NL). They could use another right-handed bat off the bench (no, Omar Infante doesn’t count), however, as Scott Thorman, Brandon Jones, and Josh Anderson all bat from the left side.

However, Mark Kotsay himself will never be able to replace Andruw Jones, especially with the glove. And it’s the all-important preventing of runs that may pose to be a problem for the Atlanta Braves in 2008. Their top-two starters, John Smoltz and Tim Hudson have the ability to match up with pretty much anyone aside from the Arizona duo. After them, however, it’s completely a crap shoot. By the end of 2007, Tom Glavine had nothing to rely on aside from his famous changeup, and even that was losing effectiveness since his fastball had dipped to the low 80s. I’m also not sold on Chuck James yet either, as his rather successful year was largely due to the defense behind him (his fielding independent ERA was 5.41). The ultimate wild card, however, is the status of Mike Hampton. The far-too-often-injured lefty had yet another set back in his continued recovery from elbow surgery after straining a hamstring on a rehab assignment down in Mexico in November. The Braves did, however, have the foresight to gain some solid pitching depth, as Jair Jurrjens remains a viable option.

The Atlanta bullpen has some questions as well. I think Rafael Soriano will do just fine in the closer role, but who will bridge the gap? Can Peter Moylan duplicate his surprisingly effective (1.80 ERA over 90IP) 2007 campaign? How effective will Mike Gonzalez be following Tommy John surgery and how soon can he return?

Moving forward, I’m interested in seeing how much of an impact Andruw Jones had on the Atlanta pitching staff. It’s been over a decade since the Braves had this to worry about, and although Kotsay has been a capable defender in the past, his recent back surgery and age (32) could affect the pitching quite a bit. Smoltz, Glavine, and James are all flyball pitchers (James is extremely so), and are the most likely to miss a top flight centerfielder they could rely on.

Florida Marlins - The Ability to Stop the Arbitration Clock, pitching, pitching, third baseman, pitching.

We knew going into the offseason that the Florida Marlins had to do something. Two of their most recognizable players, Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis, were approaching arbitration and were going to get mighty expensive. But they surprised everyone by trading both these guys away in the same deal.

But the clock now starts again for the Marlins and herein lies a potential problem. Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla, Jeremy Hermida, Mike Jacobs, Scott Olson, Cody Ross, and Josh Willingham have all completed their second year of MLB-service. Players can become arbitration eligible after three.

Problem.

Another interesting subplot to the current Marlins team is how far their pitching has fallen over the past year. Dontrelle Willis was supposed to be a superstar. Never happened - at least not in Florida. Josh Johnson was supposed to be his trusty sidekick. He’s out the entire year most likely, following Tommy John surgery. Scott Olsen was supposed to be the great accompaniment to Willis and Johnson who would also get into fights with Miguel Cabrera. Instead, Olsen was the guy with a 5.81 ERA who would also get into fights with Sergio Mitre. And Anibal Sanchez was Mr. Perfect Game. He spent most of the year in the minors. It really wasn’t that long ago that the young Marlins staff looked like the future of MLB. Remember, kids: TINSTAAPP (there is no such thing as a pitching prospect).

Another thing they need to get sorted is their third base situation. Alfredo Amezega, Jose Castillo, and Jorge Cantu look to battle it out for the starting gig in spring training. But I have to wonder - why not move Dan Uggla over to third?

It’s not all bleak, however. The Marlins did get two worthwhile prospects from Detroit in that Cabrera-Willis deal. Both Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller will get the chance to prove themselves at some point in 2008.

New York Mets - A Quick Start, Ace Pitcher, Let Youth Develop

Well, there wasn’t much that the New York Mets needed to do. After all, this is the same team that cruised into the postseason, maintaining the seven game lead they had in mid-September over the Philadelphia Phillies, and went on to dispatch all who were in their way en route to the franchise’s third World Series Championship ever.

But everyone else wants to tell me that none of that happened. Including my shrink. Fine. For the purposes of this post, I’ll pretend that the Mets failed to hang onto their huge lead over the last three weeks of the 2007 season. Are you happy? Seriously, the things I do for you people…

Since I have no soul, I don’t really believe that momentum exists in the context of a baseball season. With that said, I still think it’s important that the Mets get off to a strong start. If they falter early on, the NY media will be absolutely relentless. Of course, the only way they can really silence doubters would be if they could build a lead going into September (a big “if” at this point) and maintain it this time around. But a good April will spare me the team from having to read about “the collapse” to the point where I they have to swear off reading anything for all of eternity.

Additionally, sometime before Opening Day, the Mets, Yankees, Red Sox and Twins need to piss or get off the can when it comes to Johan Santana. Despite Pedro Martinez’s successful return towards the end of last season, the Mets still lack someone they can call their ace. Oliver Perez took a couple steps forward in 2007 but he’s still a box of chocolates. John Maine also showed improvement, but he must continue to limit walks and homeruns. Neither of them can yet be considered as more than mid-rotation arms with some room to grow. Pedro should no longer be considered an “ace pitcher” since we have no idea if he can sustain himself over 100+ innings, let alone 200. IF the Mets end up with Santana (another big “if”), this will allow the team to potentially put Orlando Hernandez in the bullpen, which in my mind would be ideal as it allows the Mets to not rely on Jorge Sosa to do much of anything.

Lastly, this isn’t necessarily something they need in 2008, but for the sake of 2009 and beyond, I’d like to see the Mets have a better organizational philosophy when it comes to managing their younger players. As a franchise, the Mets have historically rushed their prospects to the big leagues and 2007 was no exception. Carlos Gomez has the talent to be sure, but had no business playing on a team that needed to win every game possible to make the playoffs. Both Mike Pelfrey and Phil Humber were not considered “Major League ready” when they made their respective debuts either.

Of course, this is a total moot point if Johan Santana becomes a Met. Last I heard, the Twins were actually asking the Mets to include the entire cities of New Orleans, Binghamton, Savannah, Brooklyn, and St. Lucie in the deal (they didn’t want Kingsport).

Now I’ll go back into my world where I wear my Championship T-Shirt proudly.

Philadelphia Phillies - RH Bat, Starter not named Adam Eaton. Relief Pitching

And I’m back in reality. The 2007 NL East Champs should have no problems scoring runs in the coming season. They led the National League in runs scored (2nd in MLB) and the lineup remains largely intact. While there is no such thing as a sure thing, the big three of Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, and (ahem) MVP Jimmy Rollins come close. And Pat Burrell will continue to be denied his just praise by the Phillies fanbase. The only real change in the lineup comes in the form of Geoff Jenkins, who will most likely get the bulk of the time in RF, while Shane Victorino moves to Center to replace the departed Aaron Rowand. I was a bit surprised by the Jenkins deal, as I thought that the Phils were already loaded with hitters capable of hitting from the left side. Howard, Utley, Greg Dobbs, Rollins, Victorino, and now Jenkins are all either lefty or switch hitters, leaving only Carlos Ruiz and Pat Burrell hitting from the right side during most games. Jayson Werth should see some time in lieu of Jenkins against lefty pitching, but I do wonder if they should get an additional righty capable of swinging the bat (which incidentally leaves out Wes Helms).

I do have to admire the Phillies for obtaining Brad Lidge from Houston on the cheap. This has of course allowed the team to move Brett Myers back into the rotation, and he and Cole Hamels should be a formidable duo atop the rotation. However, much like Atlanta, the rest of the rotation needs work. UmpBump writer Coley has already expressed his slight-discomfort-inducing love for Kyle Kendrick, but I’m one of the naysayers. So far in his brief MLB career, he hasn’t induced nearly enough groundballs (1.55 GB/FB ratio) to make up for the fact that he strikes out far too few (3.8K/9IP. 3.8!!!) . His peripheral stats project him as someone who should have an ERA in the mid-to-high-fours. I do expect Jamie Moyer to be slightly better than he was in 2007, but this does assume that his magic anti-aging powder was not discontinued. Plus, Moyer had an ERA over 5 last year, so “slightly better” in this context doesn’t have much weight. But compared to Adam Eaton, I’ll take Kendrick and Moyer any day. Here’s a general rule of thumb: bringing an extreme flyball pitcher into an extreme homerun hitters’ park is generally a bad idea (only two more years and $16.135 million to go, Phils fans!). At this point, Chad Durbin would most likely be the safer option.

While I still have faith that Brad Lidge can be a fine closer, I do wonder about this team’s bullpen. Tom Gordon (can we stop calling him Flash now?) is no longer reliable, and they have no viable lefty option after J.C. Romero. Will someone step up?

Washington Nationals - Trade away Dmitri Young and/or Nick Johnson, Find trade partners for Chad Cordero and Jon Rauch, Pray for John Patterson’s health

The Nats were one of my favorite offseason stories to watch, since they finally appear to have a sense of direction. They acquired Lastings Milledge and 2007 Douchie Award winner Elijah Dukes in trades that could both potentially end up as steals for the Nationals. With Austin Keans and Wily Mo Pena, they actually will have a decent, young outfield in 2008. I fully expect Ryan Zimmerman to have a bounce-back year as well. A few more young prospects and the Nats may actually be in business. They must know that they have no shot in the immediate future, and I love that they’ve begun to create something that could bear fruit in a few years.

With that in mind, I’m surprised that no one is yet to offer something that convinced Jim Bowden to trade away both Chad Cordero and Jon Rauch. Those two are prime candidates to used as bait to acquire some B-level young pitching. I also do wonder what the team intends on doing once Nick Johnson returns. Neither he nor Dmitri Young are really capable of playing elsewhere, so I assume at least one of them will have to go.

I also think that one issue that is getting overlooked is the health status of John Patterson, who was clearly not right the past two seasons. But back in 2005, he looked to be “top-of-the-rotation” material, sporting a 3.13 ERA along with a 8.7K/9IP over 198 1/3 innings. It’s most likely asking far too much to think he can immediate return to those numbers following surgery on his pitching arm back in September, but a glimpse of that former self should give hope to the future of Nationals pitching.

ASTROS - pitching depth.
Besides Oswalt, Houston’s rotation currently features Woody Williams, Brandon Backe, Wandy Rodgriguez and Felipe Paulino. That’s a lot of finger crossing.

The ‘Stros have Jose Valverde closing games. And that’s awesome. But other than Valverde, the bullpen offers little beyond Doug Brocail. Geoff Geary and Oscar Villarreal do not inspire confidence.

It’s easy to point to the bevy of all-star names in Houston’s lineup and think that the team’s offense might make up for it’s crappy pitching, but players like Tejada and Berkman are past their primes, while Kaz Matsui is overrated.

Verdict: The Astros need one more top of the rotation starter and some middle relief help.

CARDINALS - starting pitcher.
Go to the ESPN.com stats page. Check out the NL batting stats. The top 75 players from 2007 include just one Cardinal — Albert Pujols. That’s gotta change in 2008. How is that going to change? Three things have to happen. 1. Troy Glaus has to stay healthy. 2. Rick Ankiel has to live up to the Babe Ruth comparisons and 3. Chris Duncan has step up his game. If all three of those guys hit, and Pujols continues to be Pujols, the Cardinals will be dangerous.

Of course, those are a lot of maybes. And even if all of those things happen, that still doesn’t change the fact that St. Louis’ starting staff includes Anthony Reyes and Braden Looper.

Verdict: The Cardinals need one more top of the line starting pitcher. And a lot of luck.

BREWERS - steroids
This offseason, Milwaukee acquired Guillermo Mota, Eric Gagne and Mike Cameron. They already had Derrick Turnbow. That’s three relievers who were mentioned in the Mitchell Report, plus one CF who will start the season suspended. How do they sleep at night?

Verdict: The Brewers need to stay one step ahead of the drug testers.

REDS - Jay Bruce
Rumors abound that the Reds are considering trading their entire farm system — including OF prospect Jay Bruce — for Baltimore ace Erik Bedard. This would give Cincinnati a scary rotation led by Bedard and Aaron Harang. But it wouldn’t solve all of the team’s problems.

Last season, David Ross cought 107 games for the Reds. His OBP was .271. So there’s that.

Also, Ryan Freel is penciled in as the team’s starting CF, now that Josh Hamilton has been dealt. But what happens when Ken Griffey Jr. gets hurt? The Reds need Bruce to get major league ready quick, allowing Freel to serve as a super-sub and giving the team a little more depth and power. If Bruce pulls a Ryan Braun and shows up swinging, the Reds could be contenders, even without Bedard. (Of course, nobody in history has ever pulled a Ryan Braun to the extent that Ryan Braun pulled a Ryan Braun in 2007. But I digress.)

Verdict: The Reds need to keep Jay Bruce.

CUBS - an ace.
Outside of the continuing development of CF Felix Pie, the Cubs’s question marks are all on the pitching side. A handful of relievers, including Kerry Wood, will battle it out to be this season’s closer. Meanwhile, Jason Marquis will attempt to return to form after 2007’s late season collapse.

Chicago has a few good starting pitchers, like Rich Hill, Carlos Zambrano and Ted Lilly. But the team really needs at least one of those guys to step up and pitch like an ace.

Verdict: What the Cubs really need is for Carlos Zambrano to cut down on his walks.

PIRATES - a miracle.

Strengths: ummmmm…
Weaknesses: oy!
Verdict: sigh.

The Seattle Mariners - Erik Bedard

The good folks over at the USS Mariner wrote a post this week suggesting that the Mariners’ pursuit of Erik Bedard is foolhardy and what they actually need is more offense, not more pitching.

But I disagree.

The Mariners actually had the sixth highest OPS in the American League last season, behind only the Yankees, Red Sox, Indians, Tigers, and Devil Rays - all teams full of real mashers. Four of those five teams were legitimate playoff contenders, and the Rays would have been if they had had even league average starting pitching.

No, what was really the Mariners’ downfall last season was pitching, specifically starting pitching. The Mariners were 10th out of 14 AL teams in ERA last season, and even that mark was only that high thanks to a passable showing by the bullpen - the Mariners starting pitchers were actually 12th out of 14 in ERA, ahead of only the execrable Baltimore and Tampa Bay squads.

What the M’s really need is starters who can put up quality innings, and replacing Horacio Ramirez and his 7.16 ERA with Erik Bedard and his 3.16 ERA would go far toward addressing this need.

Anaheim Angels of Anaheim - A power hitter

The Endless Quest Continues. The Angels have been searching for a legitimate power hitter to pair with Vlad Guerrero for years now - the piece which many feel is the only thing keeping them from another World Series title. Last year they threw offers at everyone they could, but the best they could come up with was Gary Matthews, Jr. This year they chased hard after Miguel Cabrerra, only to have the Tigers pull the rug out, and then panicked and overpaid for Torii Hunter despite already having 5 other Major League quality outfielders on the roster. Hunter does have a bit of power, but he’s not really quite the piece the Angels were looking for, and they continue to search for better options such as exploring a trade for Paul Konerko.

Ultimately, the answer may come from within if Juan Rivera can return to his 2006 form after battling through a broken leg last year, or if Casey Kotchman continues to blossom at the plate. But even without that power hitter they are still questing after, the Angels are otherwise totally stacked up and down the lineup, in the rotation, and in the bullpen, and should continue to dominate the AL West standings for years to come.

Oakland A’s - Takers for Joe Blanton and Huston Street

It wouldn’t really be fair to evaluate Billy Beane on what he’s not trying to do, which is win this year, so I’m going to evaluate him on what he obviously is trying to do, which is build a team which can contend in 2010, having already shipped out Dan Haren, Nick Swisher, and Mark Kotsay. So with that in mind, what the A’s need to do is find teams who are willing to overpay for middle-of-the-road starter Joe Blanton and upper-tier closer Huston Street.

Waiting until 2010, or perhaps more realistically 2011, is going to eat up the prime years of Blanton and Street, so even though they are cheap there is no real reason to keep them around if Beane can swing a trade on a down year for free agents while their value is uber-high due to how cheap they are and how many years away from free agency they are.

Some commentators (including myself), have wondered if Beane couldn’t have gotten a bit more for Haren and/or Swisher, but in any case if Beane can move Blanton and Street for some more high-grade prospects, he is going to have a truly monstrous stash of talented young players set to be ready for the big time by 2010 or 2011.

Texas Rangers - Surprise, Surprise, Starting Pitching

It seems like the Texas Rangers have been in desperate need of some real starting pitchers since the formation of the Earth. Yeah, I know there wasn’t technically any baseball back then, but even so the Rangers somehow still found a way to be last in the league in ERA.

This team has a lot of other holes, but there is nothing like the black hole that is the starting staff, a black hole which seems to grow bigger every year. I almost didn’t have to look, but I did anyway, and sure enough, the Rangers’ starting staff was dead last in the American League with a horrific 5.50 ERA last season (even worse than the Devil Rays!), and the team has done absolutely nothing to address this need.

This year, the Rangers will run out the exact same staff that compiled that record last season. Just to give you an idea, Brandon McCarthy led all Rangers starters with a 4.87 ERA. Ooof.

Tampa Bay _____ Rays - Hoary wisdom

The Tampa Bay Rays have been quietly improving under the radar over the past couple of years. 2007 saw a couple of things bounce their way—finally—mostly thanks to the breakout year had by Carlos Pena. The one thing they have always really lacked is starting pitching, which should be less of a problem next year. So what do they still need to put them over the top? First, a solid bullpen, at least to save poor Scott Kazmir’s sanity. And second, veteran leadership. Sure, it’s great to have a lot of young talent and get excited about what they could do. But you need to have at least one guy in the clubhouse who can do the Crash Davis thing when necessary. Isn’t Tony Clark still available?

Baltimore Orioles - Cloning technology

The Baltimore Orioles are already a step ahead of last year, since at least they seem to have approached this hot stove season with something approaching a strategy. The O’s now need to keep dumping salary wherever and whenever they can; to move Erik Bedard before his value deteriorates; and to acquire other teams’ prospects willy-nilly. And wherever Nick Markakis came from, they need more of that.

Toronto Blue Jays - Medical breakthroughs

Speaking of Bedard, boy could the Jays use him. Their pitching staff—and in fact, most of their roster—is the definition of mediocre. Last year, they looked pretty good on paper, before their roster imploded with injuries. But this year, I look at their team and don’t see a lot of upside (newly acquired Scott Rolen is no exception). Add a pitcher? Add a big bat? Sure. Add anything. Add something. At least let the current crop of big-salary-middle-of-the-road types play out their contracts while you get a farm system in order. But considering last year’s season, maybe the one thing Toronto should add if they want to make the playoffs is some really, really good team doctors.

New York Yankees - A scary starting pitcher, or, failing that, a healthy one

In October, the Yankees folded primarily because of limited starting pitching (well, that and A-Rod’s Octoberitis and Derek Jeter’s sudden propensity for hitting into double plays). Now January is half over and the New York Yankees still need solid starting pitching. Chien-Ming Wang anchored their rotation this year, winning 19 games and barely missing the 200 innings mark. Pettitte will return as No. 2, coming off a 15-win, 200+ innings season. However, Pettitte’s ERA last year cleared the 4.00 mark, which isn’t exactly lights-out. Of greater concern is Mike Mussina, who finished the year with an ERA over 5.00. The big gamble for New York is on their young arms: Joba Chamberlain, Ian Kennedy, and Phil Hughes—who came up to great fanfare last year, only to go down with an injury almost immediately. All three younguns will be on strict innings limits. When October rolls around again, will they have enough left in the tank to make it to the postseason? And assuming they bash their way into the playoffs, do they have the dominant, ace-caliber pitching you need to reach the World Series? Right now, the answer is no.

Boston Red Sox - A craving for Coco

The World Series Champs already look pretty good for next year. They need to think about 2011. A few of their key players are oh-ell-dee old. The hardest to replace will be catcher and team captain Jason Varitek. Boston is still looking for takers for Coco Crisp, and I would love to see them deal him for a catching prospect. The Red Sox have no one inspiring coming up at the position, and will be lucky if Jason Varitek clears .250 over the next three years (assuming he accepts Boston’s 2-year, $20 mill offer of a contract extension). I’d hate to see them deal Coco, who is a Gold Glove caliber centerfielder with excellent speed and offensive upside, for just anyone. But Ellsbury is the Boston CF of the future, and Coco is not a fourth outfielder. If they can’t get a young catcher for him, well, bullpen help is always nice. But I worry that if Crisp languishes in Boston another half-season as a backup, he’ll just end up…soggy.

San Diego Padres - a left fielder

To say left field was a revolving door for the Friars last season would be generous. It was more like there was no door at all, and anyone could just walk through and play. After trying all manner of flotsam there last year, including castoffs like Jose Cruz, Jr., Paul McAnulty, Russ Branyan, Terrmel Sledge, Rob Mackowiak, the Padres have still not found a solution.

Although Scott Hairston did hit like a man on fire after coming over from the D-Backs in a late season trade (.981 OPS in 87 AB), and is the putative starter if the season were to start today, before coming to the Pads he had an awful .659 OPS in 176 at-bats with the Snakes, so it’s hard to have any confidence in him.

Another reason it would be useful for the Padres to add at least one more capable player to their outfield mix is that their starting centerfielder is the aging and injury prone Jim Edmonds, who is highly unlikely to make it through a whole season without several trips to the DL.

Arizona Diamondbacks - a fourth outfielder

After an offseason in which they did just about everything right, the team’s only discernable hole is in the outfield. The Snakes seem committed to going with youngster Justin Upton as their everyday rightfielder, despite his unsightly .221/.283/.364 line last season. But now that Arizona has traded away its two best outfield prospects in Carlos Quentin and Carlos Gonzalez, if Upton falters or if either of the other two guys go down for any extended period, the D-Backs’ only replacement option off the bench is some 28-year-old 4-A dude named Jeff Salazar, a guy who nobody would want to see playing in the outfield every day.

Colorado Rockies - a left-handed reliever

Like the Diamondbacks, the Rockies are another team with very few holes left, having fulfilled their promise to the fans to return last year’s World Series squad virtually intact. They did “lose” Kazuo Matsui to the Astros, but that may well be a blessing, as it opens up a spot for top infield prospect and purported defensive wizard Jayson Nix, and even if Nix falters, the Rocks still have several other options to choose from at the keystone, including prospects Omar Quintanilla, Jeff Baker, and Ian Stewart, and former Braves star Marcus Giles, whom they just inked to a minor-league deal.

The Rockies are set to turn over half their bullpen, however, with LaTroy Hawkins having already bolted for the Yankees and free agents Jorge Julio and Jeremy Affeldt set to depart as well. Although the Rockies were able to sign Luis Vizcaino to fill Hawkins’ shoes, they probably need to sign at least one more reliever, especially a left-hander to fill the situational lefty role Affeldt handled last season, as they have no particularly appealing internal options to replace him.

Los Angeles Dodgers - continue resisting the temptation to trade away their young guns

A good argument could be made that the Dodgers could have improved their team dramatically by making no moves whatsoever this offseason, and just letting their highly touted, major-league ready prospects have a chance to show what they can do.

Of course, Ned Colletti being Ned Colletti, he had to go out and sign at least a few big names, giving fairly outrageous contracts to outfielder Andrew Jones and Japanese import Hiroki Kuroda. But so far he has resisted the deluge of trade offers for coveted young players like Matt Kemp, Clayton Kershaw, and James Loney, and if he can keep on resisting those offers, as well as the temptation to block them any further with free agent signings, the Dodgers should be in pretty good shape to make a run at the playoffs this season.

San Francisco Giants - EVERYTHING

Here is a short list of the things the Giants need: a first baseman, a second baseman, a third baseman, a starting pitcher, a closer, and three other relievers of any ability. Outside of the outfield (Rowand, Roberts, Randy Winn), and the young arms in the rotation (Cain, Lowry, Lincecum), this team is going to be absolutely terrible, and they have no promising prospects of any real note on the way either. The Giants are well nigh a stone cold lock to have the worst offense in the National League this year.

Yankees - end the love affair with Miguel Cairo. Oh, and also, a first baseman

It has been a thinly veiled secret for many years that Yankees manager Joe Torre has a prediliction for keeping an aging, light-hitting Latin American utility infielder around upon whom he can lavish excessive praise and undue playing time.

For many many years, this role was filled by Luis Sojo, but now that Sojo has finally retired, it has clearly fallen to Miguel Cairo.

With Yankee first base options Doug Mientkiewicz and Jason Giambi out indefinitely with wrist and foot injuries, Torre played Miguel Cairo at first base a ridiculous five games in a row this past week.

The Yankees need to start playing Josh Phelps at first base full time, at least for now. Even more, they need to go out and acquire a first baseman who can mash - it shouldn’t be too hard. There is always a surfiet of Matt Stairs types floating around in Triple-A.

But most of all, they need to stage an intervention with Joe Torre and make him stop playing a guy with an on-base percentage of .282 and a slugging percentage of .250 at the premier hitting position on the diamond.

Blue Jays - find a way to appease the swamp hag that has put a hex on all their players

The Blue Jays need to bring in professional help to reverse the curse that has befallen all of their players. They need to stop walking under ladders and should start shooting black cats on sight if they try to cross their path. They need to do something - anything! - to get rid of bad luck that has put virtually their entire team on the DL this season.

Other than Vernon Wells, Alex Rios, Aaron Hill, and A.J. Burnett, the Blue Jays’ entire starting lineup, rotation, and most of the bullpen has been on the DL already. As of this writing, Toronto has 6 different pitchers and 3 starting-lineup hitters on the DL.

Even a mistake-prone yakuza could count on his left hand the number of teams that could win ballgames while losing quality players like Troy Glaus, Lyle Overbay, Greg Zaun, Reed Johnson, Roy Halladay, Gustavo Chacin, and B.J. Ryan all at once. He might not have any fingers left on that hand, but he wouldn’t need them, because there is no such team.

The Jays need to figure out what that hag wants out of them. Fast.

Devil Rays - 2 or 3 replacement-level starting pitchers

Although they have flown under the radar because, well, they’re the Devil Rays after all, Tampa Bay’s lineup is actually loaded with dangerous young hitters who can mash with the best of ‘em. In fact, Tampa Bay is 7th in the league in team OPS behind only the Tigers, Indians, Red Sox, Yankees, Mariners, and Angels. Read that list again - those are some pretty awesome hitting teams!

But where the D-Rays have truly been undone is in their starting rotation, or more specifically, in their odd willingness to stick with starting pitchers who obviously had no business starting major league games.

Amazingly, despite having a starting rotation ERA that ranked at the very bottom of all of baseball, the Rays stuck with the same five guys for two months without even one of them missing a start! Jamie Shields and Scott Kazmir have been good to great at the front end, but the abominable trio of Jae Seo, Casey Fossum, and Edwin Jackson were somehow allowed to start 31 games and toss 158 innings while posting a combined ERA of 7.75 between them.

At long last, just this past week, the D-Rays front office finally decided it had seen enough, shipping Fossum to the bullpen, cutting Seo, and bringing up their two best pitching prospects from Durham. It remains to be seen whether J.P. Howell and Andy Sonnanstine can do much better, and Jackson is still getting run out there every fifth day, but you have to think that anything at all would be better than what the Rays were going with the first two months of the season.

If the Rays had had even replacement-level starters instead of Seo, Fossum, and Jackson - guys who could go 5 or 6 with an ERA around 5.00 instead of around 8.00 - you’d have to believe that with their lineup, the D-Rays easily could have won 5 to 10 more games than they have.

Orioles - some kind of long term plan

The Orioles really need to develop some kind of organizational philosophy and start working toward some sort of long-term goal. Signing whatever scrap-heap “experienced veterans” there are to be had each offseason while ignoring scouting, statistical analyis, and player development is no kind of plan at all.

Guys like Miguel Tejada, Nick Markakis, Brian Roberts, Ramon Hernandez, Eric Bedard, and pitching coach Leo Mazzone represent a talented core around which a championship squad could theoretically be built if money was wisely invested in player development and useful role players.

But surrounding the few good players year after year with expensive, overrated big-name retreads like Jay Payton, Aubrey Huff, Kevin Millar, Kris Benson, Corey Patterson, Steve Trachsel, and Javy Lopez is no way to win anything.

Of course, owner Peter Angelos’s veto of a ridiculously good trade offer the Angels made last summer for Tejada illustrated, no sort of long term planning will be possible until somebody stands up to Angelos and tells him to let his baseball people do their jobs.

Just like the Yankees blossomed once Steinbrenner finally let his front office make decisions (although it did take a felony conviction and a 3-year ban from the game), the Orioles, with their payroll and fanbase, have a chance to be great again if Angelos backs off, but until such time, they are going to keep looking and playing just as awfully as those late 80s Yankees squads.

Boston - a more versatile fourth outfielder

What do you get for the girl who has everything? What could the team with the best record in baseball possibly need?

A fourth outfielder who can play centerfield and bring speed to the basepaths is what.

As long as the Red Sox are going to be one of these crazy AL teams that only carries 3 bench players (I’m not counting Doug Mirabelli, who is pretty useless for anything besides catching knuckleballs), they need to make sure those 3 players can fill all the needs they would have coming off the bench.

Alex Cora is a useful, slick-fielding middle infielder who can deliver the occasional pinch hit. Eric Hinske can play the corners and has some pop. So far so good.

Which brings us to Wily Mo Pena. Pena is a good player who deserves a starting job and could probably outhit half the everyday leftfielders in baseball if given a chance. But he is no kind of bench player. Strikeout-prone, defensively challenged, and slow of foot, he can’t really perform any of the roles that you would want out of a fourth outfielder, such as coming in as a defensive replacement, being counted on to have a good at bat as a pinch-hitter, or coming in as a pinch runner.

More than anything, the Red Sox need a bench player who can play centerfield, run the bases, and make contact as a pinch hitter. Not only because they need those things off the bench from time to time and don’t have them, but because their worst everyday player - the guy you would most want to spell in the lineup from time to time - is Coco Crisp.

Mets: The Mets have a lights-out closer (Wagner), an MVP candidate (Reyes) and several big bats (Beltran, Delgado, Wright). So they really don’t need much.

Coming into the season, the Mets biggest worry was their aging starting staff. It still is. Tom Glavine has been marching dutifully towards 300 wins, but one has to wonder how long he can keep it up. Oliver Perez has been surprisingly good, if inconsistent. Orlando Hernandez has spent a good bit of time on the DL. This staff might be enough to get the Mets to the playoffs, but it’s hard to imagine these guys will lead them to a World Series championship. There’s no ace on this staff. But there could be if Dontrelle Willis became available and the Marlins got interested in Lastings Milledge.

Braves: After an encouraging start to the season, times are suddenly tough for the Bravos. Their best reliever to this point, Mike Gonzalez, will need elbow surgery and is lost for the year. Tim Hudson, who was unhittable in April, has been very hittable in May. Andruw Jones has been a shadow of his former self. And Chipper Jones managed to injure both hands on the same play — and there wasn’t even a piano or anvil involved.

If the Braves are going to catch the Mets, they need a healthy Chipper and a robust Andruw. But most of all, they need their starting pitching to step it up. Smoltz needs his latest injury to be minor. Hudson needs to rediscover his confidence. And Chuck James (I’m Chuck James, Bitch!) and Kyle Davies need to pitch up to their abilities.

Phillies: It’s no secret that the Phillies’ Achilles heel is their bullpen. Tom Gordon is out. Brett Myers may be lost for the year as well. So what’s a GM to do? Pray, for starters. And then try to pry David Weathers from the Reds, and sign the newly unretired Troy “I’m not dead yet” Percival.

Marlins: This young squad isn’t going anywhere this year. But if you’re a Florida fan, the future is bright. Hanley Ramirez, Josh Willingham, Miguel Cabrera — these guys are for real.

The fish are a few bullpen arms and some veteran experience away from a string of playoff births. The Marlins tried to trade for a closer earlier in the season, but ended up with an injured Jorge Julio. The time might be right to trade SP Dontrelle Willis. Hitters seem to have figured him out. The Marlins need a top of the rotation pitcher. Whether that comes in the form of a reinvigorated Willis or a free-agent acquisition, it needs to happen.

Nationals: I mean, let’s be honest, the Nationals need help at pretty much every position. I don’t even know where to begin. So I won’t.

Alright, let’s figure out what these teams need to win it all (or make me look like a genius, whichever comes first). I’ll go down the order reflecting today’s standings.

Cleveland Indians: Play some make up games…

Really. The Indians have been very good this year, they’ve scored runs when needed and they’ve pitched effectively when the run support hasn’t been there. But it’s the offense that’s been the catalyst this early in the season – they’re second in the league in runs scored, second in runs batted in, and third in on-base percentage.

Their starting pitching has been there too. Though they’ve employed the services of six starters, three of those have been quality material. Staff Ace C.C. Sabathia has been a stud, going 6-1 with a 3.51 ERA, while Fausto Carmona (2.77 ERA) and Paul Byrd (3.81) have identical 5 and 1 records. Cliff Lee, 2-1, has had brushes with success, but he’s also been disastrous, posting a bloated 5.93 ERA. Their other two starters, Jeremy Sowers and Jake Westbrook might be the prototype fifth starter, destined only to chew-up innings, while keeping the team in the game, hoping the offense pick them up in the end. Their records, 1-4, 1-2, and their ERA, 6.29, 7.90 respectively, though, are not inspiring.

The only problem has been the bullpen; out of the seven relievers that have pitched more than 11 innings, only two have an era under 2.00, while the rest have a 3.10 or higher earned run average.

The Indians have to keep it consistent all season long and they’ll be right there when it’s all said and done. Considering the fact that they still have to play those make up games with Seattle, they might even have a better record than they do now.

Detroit Tigers: Have patience….

The Tigers are anticipating a return trip to the playoffs. The air in this weekend’s series with Cleveland has been filled with aromas of contention, and keep in mind that yesterday’s was the first of 18 meetings between these two teams. Again, it’s the offense that has this team half a game out in the division, and leading the way is a reinvigorated Magglio Ordóñez, he leads the team in average, home runs, runs batted in, runs scored, and on-base percentage.

Gary Sheffield has picked up the pace after a disastrous start, hitting a few points below .300 in May. But if we’re going to point out “what they need,” I’d say their corner infielders have to provide a better offensive presence. Third baseman Brandon Inge has a depressed .218 average, with 17 RBI, while Sean Casey has a meh .259 average, zero home runs and only 9 RBI in 147 AB.

Though the team had a scare due to Jeremy Boderman’s trip to the DL, he returned in top form, blanking out the Angels in 8 innings of work. He would’ve finished the complete game gem, but manager Jim Leyland decided to play it safe.

Chicago White Sox: Ozzie Guillen to shut. Up.

And let the team do it’s thing. I have to say, Ozzie’s been a distraction; first there was his rant on Mike North’s show, which then turns into A.J. Pierzynski getting into some weird thing with Mark Buehrle. Now Ozzie’s been issuing warnings for the past two weeks; the hitters, the bench, then the relievers. Good thing the starters have done their job, otherwise Guillen would be pointing the finger at everybody.

But really, what the Sox need is to stop relying on the long ball and start hitting for average. Yes, Thome was out (and Podsednik is still out), but the Sox are dead last in runs scored (and far behind KC); dead last in RBI (and far behind Baltimore); dead last in batting average (and far away behind Texas); dead last in on-base percentage –do we see a pattern?– and yes (way, far behind Baltimore). Scottie Pods is not going to be the difference in any of those categories.

The Sox had a recent offensive outburst, scoring 10 runs for the first time, following that with an 8 run performance. But that’s all we Sox fans have seen. If your offense doesn’t produce, your relievers are going to have to be perfect almost every time out. That’s just not going to happen.

Ozzie, shut up (at least some); Sox, score some runs.

Minnesota Twins: A new stadium, like, NOW (AKA, money, money, money)

Watching a Sox-Twins game recently, I was listening as their TV people discussed the opening of the new Twins stadium in 2010. They culled figures as to how many people were going to be there every day, packing the new ball park and providing the Twinkies with much needed cash flow, ensuring the team a chance to sign proven free agents, and to keep their talent at home. Wait… it’s not as if the Twins play before a field of cornstalks every day now; people do come out to the games – so what gives? I’m not sure, and I better leave all the stadium economics to Nick.

But really, had the Twins opened their new stadium this year, and thus lined their pockets with some more cash, they might not be facing the prospect of having their Ace Johan Santana opting to test the free agent market, or their veteran leader Torii Hunter for that matter.

In actual baseball terms, aside from their stars (well, Morneaou really), the Twins have no offensive weapons (I mean, c’mon, how long did you thing the whole piranha thing was really going to last? Nick Punto?!). Plus, Joe Mauer’s been hurt.

Combine that with the necessity to sign Sidney Ponson (Sidney Ponson!) and Ramon Ortiz to be the back of their rotation, and the prospects are bleak at best. The Twins have started to slide, but, of course, they’ll probably find a way to win as they always do. I’m just not sure how they’ll do it this year.

Oh and when one of their star bloggers, Bat Girl, calls it quits, then you know the shit’s hit the fan.

Kansas City Royals: Are you serious?

The Kansas City Royals need… well, they need to stop signing “super subs” to be their every day players; the need to stop signing overpriced, unproven veterans to front their rotation, and they need to keep their young talented stars.

You can start by moving to another city, or perhaps coaxing the locals to pay up for a new stadium, or, better yet, spend those revenue sharing dollars on things other tan Gil Meche. Then you guys will contend.