The Collected Works of Manny Ramirez: 500th Homer Commemorative Edition
Manny Ramirez belted his 500th career home run tonight in Baltimore. (Why didn’t he do it on the West Coast road trip? “It’s too late, nobody would see it.” So true.) To celebrate the occasion, UmpBump presents its third edition of Manny Being Poetic, in which we take Manny’s quotes and rearrange them into the little philosophic bits of poetry we know they really are. Previous editions are here and here. Congratulations, Manny!
499 (That One)
Nobody cares
About that one.
That one’s
Over.
Everybody will forget
About that one.
Runner Thrown Out at Third
That guy probably
Didn’t see the video.
I’ve got a cannon.
Ode to Practice
I.
I invented
That throw that I do.
I don’t know how it started,
It just happened.
Like three years ago.
II.
I have to practice it,
Though.
I started to learn
How to throw it…but
I need to practice it
More.
III.
I haven’t practiced it
At all this year.
But I’ve got it.
High Five
I think that’s how you get your All-Star vote.
I’m pretty sure that guy’s going to vote for me.
One at a time–
That’s how it’s going to happen.
To Err is Human
I thought the ball was
Not going to travel that
far, so I missed it.
Tossed (The Angry Hamstring)
I was
A little mad.
My hamstring was
A little sore.
And in those situations,
You have to react.
June 1st, 2008 at 1:01 am
beautiful. you do any open mikes with these?
did you notice that NESN did a little Manny quest-for-500 montage to some Linkin Park where the refrain is “i tried so hard and lost it all, and in the end, it doesn’t really matter”? I dont know…it didn’t seem like the appropriate choice or words of wisdom for that moment. some good ol’ inspirational Foo Fighters next time, NESN.
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June 1st, 2008 at 9:44 am
That is weird, Lyndsay. I didn’t see that montage, but that is a very weird choice of song. My ideal choice probably would have been an obvious classic: something by Boston. “Smokin’” anyone? Probably could come up with something better if I, like NESN, had been planning for months for this moment.
My most memorable NESN montage actually combined two unlikely partners: David Ortiz and Christina Aguilera. Now, every time I hear “Ain’t No Otha Man,” I can only think of Papi hitting bombs. :)
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June 1st, 2008 at 9:48 am
Ah, the video:
http://soxanddawgs.com/?p=4404
Thanks, Ian!
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June 1st, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Hey Sarah- I love these- they make me smile every time. Wasn’t there a quote that we found a couple of weeks ago that you were going to use? Now I can’t remember what it was…but it was perfect…
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June 2nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
this is probably my favorite part of the site. bravo.
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