The UmpBump All-Star Team
When the All-Star ballots were announced earlier this week, the emails started flying here at UmpBump HQ. We felt compelled to offer up our own ballots (admittedly, with the benefit of casting them now, and not months ago when the balloting actually began), which we now present, interspersed with refreshing dashes of acid-tongued banter, for your scathing refutation insightful commentary:
Sarah’s All-Star Ballot
American League
C Joe Mauer
1B Youk (note: I actually voted for Youk last year too. Couldn’t vote for Papi as a 1B; didn’t seem right.)
2B Kinsler
3B A-Poop
SS Derek, grudgingly
DH Ortiz (yes, even injured)
OF Manny (sentimental choice)
OF Grady Sizemore
OF JD Drew (Was very tempted to go with Josh Hamilton here….but I flipped a coin and Drew won. Plus, Hamilton’s heart-warming story has just become too much for me. Now every time I hear about it, I want to vomit.)
SP Roy Halladay
National League
C Geovany Soto (at first, felt obligated to go with Brian McCann, since I don’t really like voting rookies into the All-Star game, but then I remembered that I don’t like the Braves….and Soto and McCann have basically had the same year so far.)
1B Lance Berkman
2B Chase Utley
3B Chipper Jones
SS Hanley Ramirez
OF Ryan Braun
OF Griffey Jr
OF Matt Holliday
SP Brandon Webb
Final note: Why is there no NL DH? I mean, they’re playing in Yankee Stadium…they aren’t going to make the pitcher bat, are they? If there were an extra roster spot for a hitter, I would go with Pat the Bat here.
Nick: Griffey??? For serious?
Sarah: I’m big on future Hall of Famers going to the ASG. And he hit no. 600 this year. And, once again Nick, i must ask that instead of simply sending incredulous snarkages back in my direction, you actually put together your own ballot. That was actually the point of the exercise.
Nick: Okay, here are my picks. Clearly they are all 100% correct.
Nick’s All-Star Ballot
American League
C Joe Mauer
1B Jason Giambi
2B Ian Kinsler
3B Alex Rodriguez
SS Michael Young
OF Jermaine Dye
OF Grady Sizemore
OF Josh Hamilton
DH Milton Bradley
SP Cliff Lee
National League
C Geovany Soto
1B Lance Berkman
2B Chase Utley
3B Chipper Jones
SS Hanley Ramirez
OF Pat Burrell
OF Jason Bay
OF Adam Dunn
SP Edinson Volquez
Nick: Sarah, are you saying future Hall of Famers should go to the All-Star Game every year, no matter what? Even when they only have the 46th best OPS among qualified outfielders?
Sarah: I’m just saying, doesn’t feel like the All-Star Game without Griffey. Also, I feel the voting would be very different if it were all online. When you’re just sitting in your little seat at the ballpark poking those little punch cards, are you really going to be comparing OPS and clicking through ESPN.com’s sortable stats? No, no you are not. You are going to see “K. Griffey Jr.” there on the ballot with a little perforated circle next to it. And you are going to poke that little circle.
Paul: My ballot:
Paul’s All-Star Ballot
American League
C: Joe Mauer (and if any of you disagree, I’m leaving UmpBump)
1B: Justin Morneau (can’t argue with Youk or Giambi either. i just don’t like either of them.)
2B: Ian Kinsler
SS: Empty Space
3B: A-Rod (although it’d be a lot of fun to see Longoria there)
LF: Josh Hamilton
CF: Grady Sizemore
RF: JD Drew
DH: Milton Bradley
SP: Roy Halladay (not the popular choice, I know. but dude’s been filthy)
National League
C: Geovany Soto
1B: Lance Berkman
2B: Chase Utley
SS: Hanley Ramirez
3B: Chipper Jones (i just died a little inside)
LF: Jason Bay
CF: Nate McLouth
RF: Matt Holliday (wow, what an awful defensive outfield!)
DH: Pat Burrell (now i need a drink)
SP: Volquez/Lincecum (don’t make me choose)
Sarah: No you have to choose! That’s the whole point! Come on, eenie meenie minie moe that puppy.
Paul: in that case, excuse me while i go crunch some digits….and i think i unknowingly made that sound a little dirty. How did i do that? That should be the new euphemism among statheads. “Dude, that girl is so freaking hot. Makes me want to crunch my digits.”
Sarah: Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrd!
Paul: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanddddddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! (anyone? anyone? yes? no?)
Sarah: [confused silence] [chirping of crickets] [tumbleweed rolls slowly by]
Paul: It’s from Family Guy. And I’m going with Lincecum.
Sarah: And are you still leaving AL SS blank?? I’m torn. Half of me thinks that’s really hilarious. The other half is now bitter because i sucked it up and voted for Jeter.
Paul: I would honestly rather have Empty Space. He’s a ragamuffin from the great state of North Dakota. Kid’s got more talent than brains.
Sarah: He’s got that blue collar makeup though.
Alejandro: Okay, time for my picks.
Alejandro’s All-Star Ballot
American League
C Joe Mauer
1B Kevin Youkilis
2B Ian Kinsler
SS Michael Young
3B Evan Longoria
OF David DeJesus
OF Josh Hamilton
OF Johnny Damon
DH Alex Rodriguez
SP Cliff Lee
National League
C Geovany Soto
1B Connor Jackson
2B Chase Utley
SS Jose Reyes
3B Chipper Jones
OF Carlos Lee
OF Aaron Rowand
OF Carlos Beltran
SP Edinson Volquez
Nick: What, no Hanley at SS, Alejandro? Even though he’s carrying your umpbump fantasy team? Surprising!
Alejandro: Oh man i knew i’d miss someone….Yeah, forget Reyes, please include H Ramirez instead…
Sarah: Hey, I’m not sure it’s kosher to have A-Rod as the DH. You can only vote for people where they are eligible, no? Or can you shift things around with the write-in?
Alejandro: Good point… I dunno…to be honest, i filled this ballot in haste in the middle of a meeting…
Paul: Get your priorities straight, Alejandro. All-Star ballots are serious business. Not to be done in the middle of business. This business clearly supersedes that business.
Coley: I think the problem with including guys like Griffey is that this year it counts! And, I’m kinda serious. I mean, if the Phillies are denied home-field advantage in the World Series because Ken Griffey, Jr. strikes out with the bases loaded in the all-star game, I’m going to be pissed. Here’s my lineup:
Coley’s All-Star Ballot
American League
C Joe Mauer
1B Jason Giambi
2B Ian Kinsler
3B Alex Rodriguez
SS Michael Young
OF Jermaine Dye
OF Grady Sizemore
OF Josh Hamilton
DH Milton Bradley
SP Cliff Lee
OF Jason Bay
OF Matt Holliday (almost went with Dunn, but you can’t have Dunn and Howard in the lineup at the same time.)
Tell us, gentle readers, is our universal love for Geovany Soto misplaced? Is my vote for the husk of Ken Griffey Jr. an abomination? What about Paul’s preference for gritty shortstop sensation Empty Space?
July 10th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
As a Phillies fan, I fully support all of the love Pat the Bat and Ryan Howard are getting.
As a faithful Umpbump reader, I give Sarah credit for not picking Varitek.
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July 10th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
AL
C- Mauer
1B- Youk (higher OPS than the ‘Stache plus Gold Glove minus known-PEDer. You do the math)
2B- Kinsler (even though Pedroia is my favorite player and on an absolute tear)
SS- Young
3B- A-Rod
OF- Josh Hamilton
OF- Manny Ramirez (solely for the high-five play earlier this year, and 500)
OF- JD Drew (because I think I was the only person who stuck up for him throughout last year)
DH- Papi (w/ Giambi taking his spot)
SP- Doucherer
NL
C- Russell Martin (want to see more than half a season from Soto, plus Martin has played 89 games already this year. That is silly)
1B- Berkman
2B- Utley
SS- Hanley
3B- Chipper
OF- Braun
OF- Burrell
OF- Holliday
DH- Howard
SP- Lincecum
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July 10th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Sarah - I just don’t understand how you can go with anyone OVER Hamilton. you and I both know J.D. Drew’s streaky and inconsistent. Hamilton has been solid all year, and deserves to be the 1st man on that team, hype aside.
my team would have to be based on consistency at the plate over hot streaks. Pedroia, Giambi and Drew have been streaky all year. Varitek - I can’t even BELIEVE he was up there in 2nd place - had like 3 good weeks at the plate in May, and that’s it. how anyone could go with him when Mauer’s been at the top in every stat is beyond me. I guess this is what happens when you let fans vote - which I don’t agree with. then it just becomes a popularity contest. the fact that Julio freakin Lugo, who in my book is the worst shortstop in the MLB, came up 5th in the voting shows how much power RS nation has over this thing.
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July 10th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
…and were there really NO other options better than Jeter at SS?
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July 10th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Okay okay okay okay, first of all, Sean, I know your heart is in the right place, dude, but I am a little insulted that you really expected me to vote for ‘Tek. He’s having such a terrible year at the plate! Do you really think so little of my judgment? I CANNOT EVEN LOOK AT YOU.
Second, Keagan gets props for voting for Russell Martin. I love Martin. He’s on my fantasy team. And I think I actually voted for him on my real All Star ballot back in May. I love that he’s a catcher who steals. Hotness!
And finally, I completely disagree about Hamilton, Lyndsay. We have no way of knowing whether he’s streaky or not, actually—because he was off doing DRUGS and getting TATTOOS for so many years. I read a very convincing article—maybe on BP? can’t remember now—arguing that pitchers still haven’t managed to adjust to him because of his relative lack of experience in the bigs and his subsequent switching of leagues. I think the jury is still out on Hamilton. And Drew has the best OPS of any AL outfielder. How can you deny him?
And about the shortstops….Michael Young is actually a better choice than Jeter, at least by the numbers. Looks like I didn’t have to go over to the Dark Side after all.
Guess who has the best OBP, though, of any AL shortstop? Yes, it is none other than…JULIO LUGO. GAAAAAAAH! How is that even possible?!
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July 11th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Sarah - I am honored by your verbal tongue lashing, and apologize for questioning your judgment.
Actually, you guys need to let my wife pick her all stars, it would be just like that Bugs Bunny baseball episode, but instead of Bugs, all positions would be played by Cole Hamels:
first base, Cole Hamels, second base, Cole Hamels.
You get the idea.
I know he’s a pitcher - but this would not deter her.
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July 11th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Sarah -
What do you got against the Braves?
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July 11th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Danny, you didn’t know?
The Braves smell.
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July 11th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Sarah - I think it’s because most shortstops are mediocre at best. thus, relative mediocrity makes Lugo look better. which is very aggravating. I think Lugo is probably a better hitter than we give him credit for, but his horrendous fielding overshadows his potential at the plate.
my definition of “streaky” is up and down through the first three and a half months of a season. since you brought up OPS to defend your position on Hamilton v. Drew, I dont’ think you’re looking at it over the full course of the past few months. if you look at the stats since the first regular season game (and thats what All-Star should be based on, not the past 7 or 30 days), Hamilton has been more consistent than Drew. Drew’s OPS in June was an unbelievable 1.310 while April, May, and July have all been in the .700 range. but his pre-OPS avg together is .964. Hamilton’s is .922, but his lowest OPS between April and July was .813 in June, while his highest, in April, was .982. you can make the same comparison between the two if you look at batting average, HRs and hits - same trend. so yeah, one outstanding month and three fairly average months vs. three and a half great months is streaky vs. consistent to me. Drew had a freakish June, and that’s all you’re basing it on.
I also don’t think it’s fair to leave Hamilton out just because he’s done meth, pitchers haven’t figured him out yet, he switched leagues, or whatever else there is. none of that matters. to me, the jury is still out on DREW, not Hamilton.
and poor Joe Mauer - he’s been batting over .300 since May and yet he almost lost the vote to a guy batting a pre-all star .220.
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July 11th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Isn’t that a little backwards? JD Drew has been a big leaguer for 11 years now. Josh Hamilton has played 180 games in his entire career. We’ve seen enough of JD Drew to know who he is - a guy who OBPs around .400, slugs around .500, has a tendency to get injured, and is hated by every team’s fans. We haven’t seen nearly enough of Hamilton. The guy’s obviously an incredibly talented player. But he hasn’t played enough to prove all that much. And he too will be “inconsistent” at certain points in his career. Happens to everyone.
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July 13th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Smell?
Where the hell is Svee?
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July 14th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Why does Michael Young get no respect? One of three players in baseball history with 200 hits five straight seasons. On pace to do it again this year. Plays above-average defense. Doesn’t date supermodels. What’s not to love?
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July 14th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Simon, are you saying that we don’t give Michael Young any love? Three out of the four who voted for an AL SS picked Young. I had to abstain because I have morals. No SS in the AL deserves much credit this year.
As for everybody else, that’s probably because Young has only had one really good season - in 2005. The others have been good, but nothing amazing.
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